Fic: Ipso Facto And Other Foreign Things (Veronica/Logan, Veronica/Duncan) PG-13
Title: Ipso Facto And Other Foreign Things
Author: Sorcha
Pairing/Character: Logan/Veronica, Duncan/Veronica
Word Count: 547
Rating: PG-13
Summary: There’s a hole in your chest and you know that you don’t want it filled up...
Spoilers/Warnings: 1x21, A Trip to the Dentist.
There is a hole in your chest and you know that you don’t want it filled up. There are new memories that you don’t remember and there are apparent body shots and people’s lips but that space that’s still missing is better that way.
That space where you got into bed and then you got out.
Because you weren’t alone and you weren’t forced. And you loved someone that you shouldn’t have because people have been lying to you for your whole life. You can’t blame him. It would be too easy and he was skipped out too. But he knew and you didn’t and he did it all the same.
Would you have done it if you knew?
You don’t wonder if his hands were warm but you grasp harder at his best friend. Your boyfriend. Boyfriend. And now everyone knows and you’re waiting for your ring-toss bear. And the mall. Nice, normal teenage things that your Father wants for you and you don’t think you could ever accept.
Your boyfriend - he must have decided before you did. When did hot hands and warm mouths and giggling into your lips between classes become so serious? It’s nice, safe. But this boy is so different from the boy you knew. He’s so happy on the outside and you think that it‘s probably not mirrored inside his chest. That he bubbles on the outside because he’s withering on the inside. His Father doesn’t know his birthday. Doesn’t know anything about him - except you. But everyone knows about you now.
One less secret - and the two of you are still hiding. You like it.
You talk with him beneath you - he accepts happily and you feel for the position because you should be side to side. He falls into a comfortable role - below and confessing. Guilty and sorry. You forgive him because you can - not because he’s touching you. Something changed - seeped in over the sympathy.
He won’t fill up that hole in your chest where you didn’t have knowledge and now you have some you don’t remember. He can’t and you’re kind of glad - you wish it had been him and the choosing is strange. You never thought you’d end up with this friend. You never thought a car would be totalled because of you - but you were wrong and people smile at you now. His fingers pull through your hair, lips pressed against yours and that’s all it took to say ‘I was wrong’.
You’re back in the big leagues now. Will you ever learn?
Smile, detach, mourn. Smile, detach, mourn. It is your pattern now - everybody has one. And it took a year from smile to smile to laughing with your lungs but now that you’re there you want to stay. You want to stay and sometimes that means having a hole in your chest a hand on your back and forgiveness in your mouth because you’re all different now.
You don’t think about your virginity - you don’t vomit. You don’t think about the things he said - you don’t cry. You don’t think about your Mother anymore - you don’t care. You still lie to yourself more and more - but you’re getting there.