Swept Away 1/7 (L/V, L/H) R
Title: Swept Away 1/7
Author: logan_love
Rating: R for language
Spoilers: 2x16 Rapes of Graff
Characters/Pairings: Veronica/Logan, Logan/Hannah
Dislaimer: If only these characters were mine. Nope, RT owns 'em all.
Summary: You'd think that after fifteen years of being with the same girl without a single second thought, you'd be pretty self-assured that she was the one for you. A Future-fiction and as usual, full of angsty goodness. (hopefully goodness)
Word Count: 2,048
A/N: No beta, all mistakes are mine.
A/N2: Just a note, Hannah is not portrayed in an overly snotty, whiny, little kid way as many times she is, so be warned for those who DESPISE Hannah as a character and want nothing more than to be annoyed with her, this shouldn't make you hate her and should make you feel sorry for her.
A/N4: The first chapter is from a Logan, Hannah and Veronica POV, you should be able to pick out which one is Hannah, which one is Veronica and which one is Logan.
Chapter 1:
You'd think that after fifteen years of being with the same girl without a single second thought, you'd be pretty self-assured that she was the one for you. But no, another girl has to stumble into your life like nobody's business and suddenly you find your life, your marriage, and everything in between, disintegrating like sand in between your fingers.
You think everything that happened between you and Veronica was over. You move across the country just because you can afford it, and Veronica stays in Neptune because she can't. She refuses to use your money because she doesn't want to seem like the gold digger she paints all 09ers as. You try to stay together and it doesn't work. Too much temptation, too easy lies.
It would be almost ironic if it wasn't so pathetic. You run to Hannah right after the breakup and dump Veronica for her when all along you should have known that the moment you see Veronica's face again, you'll break into a million pieces and fall in a puddle before her dainty feet while she sews your heart back into one, right before she tears it up again and gives it back to you, full of fresh wounds that replace the tough scars that your heart has grown.
Honestly, you really couldn't care less. You just want to feel her again. You just want to hold her, just want to feel her soft touch and gentle lips. You want to feel the sparks that Hannah lacks. Hannah's everything that any man that's not as sick as you, would want. She's loyal, and would never dream of cheating, she's too trusting to be paranoid, too weak to yell, and far too in love with you to ever even attempt to control your life. You wish you shared her love. Hannah's great, but she's not Veronica. No one is ever Veronica. No one is as feisty, smart, tough, jaded, funny, and strong as her. No one can even begin to replace Veronica, even when you tell yourself otherwise. Now you know that. You can only wish you realized that fifteen years earlier.
But after marrying Hannah, and not seeing or hearing from Veronica Mars once, you're almost positive she's gone from your life forever and you begin to forget her, her laugh, her smile, her ice cold glare, her quips, her voice. The only thing you really remember about her is that every single time you got into a fight, she'd tear your heart into pieces and you definitely remember what that feels like and you wish you didn't. When you remember that, it helps remind you that Hannah would never do that to you and you miss Veronica less. It's in those moments that you feel like the sick bastard you know you are and you're going to hell because you don't miss her. That's what Veronica can do to you. Just when you think she's 100% gone from your system because you don't feel like throwing up when you think about anything negative about her, she comes back into your life. You should have known you were wrong all along.
Suddenly, right after leaving the penthouse apartment in your luxurious home in New York, you see a flash from an expensive SLR camera. Annoyed, you turn around to retort in anger to the reporter. All these years, and you're still not old news. Both you and said reporter look at each other stunned and that blonde, petite reporter almost drops her camera with a heavy thunk on the sidewalk. You stare at her and she stares back. You don't know it then, but you're life is about to take a huge epic turn Maybe for once you can be happy. Veronica can be your friend, Hannah your wife. You doubt it. Veronica is either your lover or your enemy; there is no halfway point. You're always epic. Fuck epic.
You just continue to stare as she stares back. Finally she let's a little shy smile and attempts at a wave. You are overcome with emotion and you see her little form and you swoop in to kiss her. The love never ended, and seeing her face was like a relapse of a deadly disease.
It takes you a moment to realize what you did. You just kissed Veronica Mars after you swore you'd never give a damn about her again. And you’re a married man. Oh. Shit.
***
You always knew in your heart that Logan wasn't in love with you and that his real lover lived across the country but the years together made you more and more sure that it would stay that way. Now, in a way no one could master but THE Veronica Mars, Logan is suddenly all over her, of course while you stand on the sidelines and watch in the shadows. You observe the way his eyes light up, the way he has a skip in his step when he walks around her and you can't help but feel a little disappointed.
The worst part of it is, he hasn't even told you. You're not surprised. You're more jaded than he ever knew-that anyone ever knew. When your Dad is a cokehead, it tends to do that to you. You may be younger than him, but that doesn't mean you're stupider. Logan taking trips every other day to check something or other for a client when I know he never actually has to do overnight business. The office calls and says Logan has skipped worked every other day. It all fits. Even if you were stupid, you probably still wouldn't miss the signs. Just because it lacks subtly doesn't hurt less. The fact that you trusted Logan feels like a slap to the face. Screw that, the fact that he hasn't told you anything isn't the worst part. It's only the beginning of a long and terrible story. Who knows how it'll end.
The only thing Logan has going for him is that he keeps coming back. He still tells you he loves you. He still climbs back into your bed late at night and mutters apologies into your neck. It makes it a little less sweet when you can smell the light scent of someone else's perfume on his body.
Maybe it helps you a little to think that it's only Veronica Mars and they're epic and will never work out. Maybe it helps that you know he's not just banging a random skank and maybe you're not doing something wrong. But that doesn't help you much. You still wonder if you're doing something wrong, you still know that you have to competition for his heart and you still know that Veronica Mars has stolen the one man you thought you loved. You still remember that your Mom once told you that all men are evil and you think that maybe she's right and all these years she's been right about Logan, that all he'll do is break your heart.
It pains you to think that everyday Logan gives you a kiss or tells you he loves you, he's probably thinking of that girl. It sickens you that Veronica Mars always wins and that she is a better match for Logan, because Logan always wins too. Maybe it's because in high school they lost so much that finally their bad luck ran out, probably because they had each other.
Sometimes when Logan's not there you wonder what would ever happen if you had never met him. If you had never given him your heart, would your heart be broken forever, or would you find another man who could take your breath away?
The worst part of it is, inside you knew it all along and you still let it go this far. Maybe you're not as wise as you think.
***
There was a time when you were unbelievably angry with your father for helping someone else cheat on her husband. At the time, you were so scared that Logan would do the same thing. Now, you're doing the same exact fucking thing. The worst part about it is that you don't even care. You love Logan. There is nothing that can change that. Not even a wife.
The last thing you expect is for Logan to let it happen. He's never been the type to cheat and lie, because God knows, he's a dreadful liar. You can always read a lie in his eyes, the way he refuses to look you in the eye, and his forehead crinkles. He assures you that Hannah is completely aware and is totally okay with it. He refuses to look you in the eye and his forehead crinkles as. You can't help but wonder if Hannah knows, and if not, how stupid she really is.
You wouldn't really call what Logan and you are doing, cheating. It's not like you're having sex or sleeping together. Lately, you've just been talking about stuff. In a hotel room. That involves kissing. But other than that, whatever happens behind those wooden doors stays strictly PG-13 and no one, not Logan, not you, wants that to change. Both of you know that it'll only end with a broken heart and both of you grasp onto the thought of just being friends and having separate lives, only connected by the bonds of friendship and memories you share together. Neither of you are realists.
At first, it's an unspoken rule that you don't talk about the past, the future or anyone in the present. You don't bring up topics like, "Do you miss your Dad?" or "How was the wedding?" or even, "So, how's Wallace?" because you're sure, and he's sure that it'll only end in a fight and a set of broken hearts.
Later, conversation about the new episode of "The Office" and talk of how Paris Hilton and Britney Spears are friends becomes sparse and you're left with huge awkward gaps where you just stare at each other, watching each other's every movement with the occasional debate about why Dean Winchester from Supernatural is so much hotter than Brooke Davis from One Tree Hill ("Why do even watch One Tree Hill?")
When those conversations are worn down, you ask how he's doing and he looks away and gives a carefully placed answer, making sure he never brings up any other girl, Hannah, Aaron Echolls, Lilly Kane, and Lynn Echolls, nor does he dare to bring up the name Duncan Kane, who was murdered three years previous in Australia. After a little small talk about his job as a lawyer, it's a rule that he ask how you are, and you're supposed to say, "Good, great job, great life, very happy with my life," and you both then carefully avoid the topic of anything even remotely personal.
But even if you really haven't learned anything about Logan's life and he hasn't learned much about you except that you prefer Dean Winchester to Sam on Supernatural, you're still closer than you've ever been with him. Maybe because you guys haven't had a chance to fight yet and although you know it's only temporary, you feel it's nice to be with someone who gets you more than your Dad or Wallace because you both have more secrets than anyone you know and both of you know that it's just you against the world and that all the people you trust will only let you down. Both of you are jaded realists, but when it comes to each other, you prefer to turn a blind eye.
Sometimes, right before you fall asleep, you wonder if he's thinking about you. And then you turn and look at the picture hanging on your wall, the one where you're both laughing on the beach and the world has faded around you and it's just you. You remember that pictures don't capture the truth and you remember the fight that happened after that picture was taken. You curl into a tighter ball and you know both of you are only going to get your hearts torn and most of all, you know what you are doing is wrong. But you always turn a blind eye when it comes to Logan.
Continue on to Chapter 2
Author: logan_love
Rating: R for language
Spoilers: 2x16 Rapes of Graff
Characters/Pairings: Veronica/Logan, Logan/Hannah
Dislaimer: If only these characters were mine. Nope, RT owns 'em all.
Summary: You'd think that after fifteen years of being with the same girl without a single second thought, you'd be pretty self-assured that she was the one for you. A Future-fiction and as usual, full of angsty goodness. (hopefully goodness)
Word Count: 2,048
A/N: No beta, all mistakes are mine.
A/N2: Just a note, Hannah is not portrayed in an overly snotty, whiny, little kid way as many times she is, so be warned for those who DESPISE Hannah as a character and want nothing more than to be annoyed with her, this shouldn't make you hate her and should make you feel sorry for her.
A/N4: The first chapter is from a Logan, Hannah and Veronica POV, you should be able to pick out which one is Hannah, which one is Veronica and which one is Logan.
Chapter 1:
You'd think that after fifteen years of being with the same girl without a single second thought, you'd be pretty self-assured that she was the one for you. But no, another girl has to stumble into your life like nobody's business and suddenly you find your life, your marriage, and everything in between, disintegrating like sand in between your fingers.
You think everything that happened between you and Veronica was over. You move across the country just because you can afford it, and Veronica stays in Neptune because she can't. She refuses to use your money because she doesn't want to seem like the gold digger she paints all 09ers as. You try to stay together and it doesn't work. Too much temptation, too easy lies.
It would be almost ironic if it wasn't so pathetic. You run to Hannah right after the breakup and dump Veronica for her when all along you should have known that the moment you see Veronica's face again, you'll break into a million pieces and fall in a puddle before her dainty feet while she sews your heart back into one, right before she tears it up again and gives it back to you, full of fresh wounds that replace the tough scars that your heart has grown.
Honestly, you really couldn't care less. You just want to feel her again. You just want to hold her, just want to feel her soft touch and gentle lips. You want to feel the sparks that Hannah lacks. Hannah's everything that any man that's not as sick as you, would want. She's loyal, and would never dream of cheating, she's too trusting to be paranoid, too weak to yell, and far too in love with you to ever even attempt to control your life. You wish you shared her love. Hannah's great, but she's not Veronica. No one is ever Veronica. No one is as feisty, smart, tough, jaded, funny, and strong as her. No one can even begin to replace Veronica, even when you tell yourself otherwise. Now you know that. You can only wish you realized that fifteen years earlier.
But after marrying Hannah, and not seeing or hearing from Veronica Mars once, you're almost positive she's gone from your life forever and you begin to forget her, her laugh, her smile, her ice cold glare, her quips, her voice. The only thing you really remember about her is that every single time you got into a fight, she'd tear your heart into pieces and you definitely remember what that feels like and you wish you didn't. When you remember that, it helps remind you that Hannah would never do that to you and you miss Veronica less. It's in those moments that you feel like the sick bastard you know you are and you're going to hell because you don't miss her. That's what Veronica can do to you. Just when you think she's 100% gone from your system because you don't feel like throwing up when you think about anything negative about her, she comes back into your life. You should have known you were wrong all along.
Suddenly, right after leaving the penthouse apartment in your luxurious home in New York, you see a flash from an expensive SLR camera. Annoyed, you turn around to retort in anger to the reporter. All these years, and you're still not old news. Both you and said reporter look at each other stunned and that blonde, petite reporter almost drops her camera with a heavy thunk on the sidewalk. You stare at her and she stares back. You don't know it then, but you're life is about to take a huge epic turn Maybe for once you can be happy. Veronica can be your friend, Hannah your wife. You doubt it. Veronica is either your lover or your enemy; there is no halfway point. You're always epic. Fuck epic.
You just continue to stare as she stares back. Finally she let's a little shy smile and attempts at a wave. You are overcome with emotion and you see her little form and you swoop in to kiss her. The love never ended, and seeing her face was like a relapse of a deadly disease.
It takes you a moment to realize what you did. You just kissed Veronica Mars after you swore you'd never give a damn about her again. And you’re a married man. Oh. Shit.
***
You always knew in your heart that Logan wasn't in love with you and that his real lover lived across the country but the years together made you more and more sure that it would stay that way. Now, in a way no one could master but THE Veronica Mars, Logan is suddenly all over her, of course while you stand on the sidelines and watch in the shadows. You observe the way his eyes light up, the way he has a skip in his step when he walks around her and you can't help but feel a little disappointed.
The worst part of it is, he hasn't even told you. You're not surprised. You're more jaded than he ever knew-that anyone ever knew. When your Dad is a cokehead, it tends to do that to you. You may be younger than him, but that doesn't mean you're stupider. Logan taking trips every other day to check something or other for a client when I know he never actually has to do overnight business. The office calls and says Logan has skipped worked every other day. It all fits. Even if you were stupid, you probably still wouldn't miss the signs. Just because it lacks subtly doesn't hurt less. The fact that you trusted Logan feels like a slap to the face. Screw that, the fact that he hasn't told you anything isn't the worst part. It's only the beginning of a long and terrible story. Who knows how it'll end.
The only thing Logan has going for him is that he keeps coming back. He still tells you he loves you. He still climbs back into your bed late at night and mutters apologies into your neck. It makes it a little less sweet when you can smell the light scent of someone else's perfume on his body.
Maybe it helps you a little to think that it's only Veronica Mars and they're epic and will never work out. Maybe it helps that you know he's not just banging a random skank and maybe you're not doing something wrong. But that doesn't help you much. You still wonder if you're doing something wrong, you still know that you have to competition for his heart and you still know that Veronica Mars has stolen the one man you thought you loved. You still remember that your Mom once told you that all men are evil and you think that maybe she's right and all these years she's been right about Logan, that all he'll do is break your heart.
It pains you to think that everyday Logan gives you a kiss or tells you he loves you, he's probably thinking of that girl. It sickens you that Veronica Mars always wins and that she is a better match for Logan, because Logan always wins too. Maybe it's because in high school they lost so much that finally their bad luck ran out, probably because they had each other.
Sometimes when Logan's not there you wonder what would ever happen if you had never met him. If you had never given him your heart, would your heart be broken forever, or would you find another man who could take your breath away?
The worst part of it is, inside you knew it all along and you still let it go this far. Maybe you're not as wise as you think.
***
There was a time when you were unbelievably angry with your father for helping someone else cheat on her husband. At the time, you were so scared that Logan would do the same thing. Now, you're doing the same exact fucking thing. The worst part about it is that you don't even care. You love Logan. There is nothing that can change that. Not even a wife.
The last thing you expect is for Logan to let it happen. He's never been the type to cheat and lie, because God knows, he's a dreadful liar. You can always read a lie in his eyes, the way he refuses to look you in the eye, and his forehead crinkles. He assures you that Hannah is completely aware and is totally okay with it. He refuses to look you in the eye and his forehead crinkles as. You can't help but wonder if Hannah knows, and if not, how stupid she really is.
You wouldn't really call what Logan and you are doing, cheating. It's not like you're having sex or sleeping together. Lately, you've just been talking about stuff. In a hotel room. That involves kissing. But other than that, whatever happens behind those wooden doors stays strictly PG-13 and no one, not Logan, not you, wants that to change. Both of you know that it'll only end with a broken heart and both of you grasp onto the thought of just being friends and having separate lives, only connected by the bonds of friendship and memories you share together. Neither of you are realists.
At first, it's an unspoken rule that you don't talk about the past, the future or anyone in the present. You don't bring up topics like, "Do you miss your Dad?" or "How was the wedding?" or even, "So, how's Wallace?" because you're sure, and he's sure that it'll only end in a fight and a set of broken hearts.
Later, conversation about the new episode of "The Office" and talk of how Paris Hilton and Britney Spears are friends becomes sparse and you're left with huge awkward gaps where you just stare at each other, watching each other's every movement with the occasional debate about why Dean Winchester from Supernatural is so much hotter than Brooke Davis from One Tree Hill ("Why do even watch One Tree Hill?")
When those conversations are worn down, you ask how he's doing and he looks away and gives a carefully placed answer, making sure he never brings up any other girl, Hannah, Aaron Echolls, Lilly Kane, and Lynn Echolls, nor does he dare to bring up the name Duncan Kane, who was murdered three years previous in Australia. After a little small talk about his job as a lawyer, it's a rule that he ask how you are, and you're supposed to say, "Good, great job, great life, very happy with my life," and you both then carefully avoid the topic of anything even remotely personal.
But even if you really haven't learned anything about Logan's life and he hasn't learned much about you except that you prefer Dean Winchester to Sam on Supernatural, you're still closer than you've ever been with him. Maybe because you guys haven't had a chance to fight yet and although you know it's only temporary, you feel it's nice to be with someone who gets you more than your Dad or Wallace because you both have more secrets than anyone you know and both of you know that it's just you against the world and that all the people you trust will only let you down. Both of you are jaded realists, but when it comes to each other, you prefer to turn a blind eye.
Sometimes, right before you fall asleep, you wonder if he's thinking about you. And then you turn and look at the picture hanging on your wall, the one where you're both laughing on the beach and the world has faded around you and it's just you. You remember that pictures don't capture the truth and you remember the fight that happened after that picture was taken. You curl into a tighter ball and you know both of you are only going to get your hearts torn and most of all, you know what you are doing is wrong. But you always turn a blind eye when it comes to Logan.
Continue on to Chapter 2