Fic: In Between (Veronica/Lilly), ensemble, R
Title: In Between
Author: Lindsey (
little_linds)
Pairing/Character: Mostly Veronica/Lilly, but Duncan and Logan are in it too, along with some others.
Word Count: 6,122
Rating: PG-13/R for violence and somewhat disturbing themes I suppose.
Summary: Veronica and Lilly switch places. Takes place after Veronica accuses Logan in Leave it to Beaver, then goes AU-obviously.
Spoilers/Warnings: Season 1
Author's Note: This was written for the
vmars_switchedchallenge and is nothing like I've ever written before. I hope you guys aren't put off by the premise and that it's not really like the usual fic, cause I think it's kinda interesting. I really ran with this idea, lol. This is unbeta'd cause I didn't know when I'd get internet access again and also today is the deadline (smacks forehead!), so all mistakes are mine. And man, this is the longest fic I've ever written. I've had writers block then I write 6,122 words! Feedback is appreciated.
Veronica will admit it, the first change she notices are her boobs. Lilly had always been the more ‘endowed’ of the pair and Veronica often felt less than adequate, but this-this is just weird.
Maybe the smell should have tipped her off, because Neptune only smells of smog and scandal and the smell lingering in the air is definitely rose, but nope, it was the boobs.
She looks down and notices how her tank top hugs her chest tightly, a red American Eagle tank, AE embroidered on the bottom corner. She immediately recognizes it as Lilly’s. She smoothes out her jean skirt, fingering the stray thread on the bottom and realizes the skirt is Lilly’s too. The outfit is actually Lilly’s favorite lounge wear. She smiles inwardly when she can hear Lilly saying “Comfortable doesn’t have to be boring, Veronica Mars.”
Veronica had always wanted the Kane’s to give her something of Lilly’s--this outfit, her favorite stuffed animal, Lilly’s favorite pair of earrings, anything; but of course that never happened. And it definitely doesn’t explain why she’s wearing it now.
She squints her eyes, assessing her surroundings, realizing she has no idea where she is. The sun is shining down on her and the heat radiates off her back. She crosses her legs under her, realizing she is sitting on a bench. She rubs her hands over the chipped brown paint, pieces falling to the ground in the wake. They land on the concrete below her, falling on the dandelions sprouting out of the cracks in the pavement.
She didn’t notice him right away, the small child sitting next to her, but when she looks over at him and he smiles, she feels a mixture of relief, curiosity, and fear, all forming at the bottom of her stomach.
His smile scrunches his whole face and squishes his eyes closed, his face beaming at her.
“Hi,” he says, reaching out his chubby hand to shake hers. She reluctantly obliges and his smile widens. He rests his hands on his pudgy tummy popping out from under his tie-dye t-shirt, his other hand on the arm of the bench, a red balloon tied around his wrist. His feet dangle from the bench and he swings his Etnies clad feet back and forth, one of his Adidas socks slouching down his leg. She thinks he must be 8 or 9.
“I’m 7,” he says, holding up a hand and two fingers.
She smiles back. “Hi 7,” she jokes. He giggles, his sandy-blonde shaggy hair shining when he moves his head back and forth.
“No, my name is Sam! Silly…”
“Hi Sam, I’m Veronica.” She ducks her head to look at him. “I’m this many.” She flashes her hands once and then holds up 7 fingers.
“Wow!” He looks quite amazed and she laughs. “I’ve never met anyone that many.” He puts his hands under his legs and continues swinging them.
“Really?” His confession prompts her to look around at the deserted train station. “Where’s your parents?” Her face crinkles in confusion and when she looks back at him he’s giving her a different smile, a more reassuring one.
“Don’t worry, Veronica. You’re okay.”
“What?”
“Lilly told me you’d probably be scared. Uhhh…I mean, she said, don’t say that cause you’d get umm…fensive? I mean, she said you’d be confused.” Her eyes glaze over.
“Lilly?” She shakes her head and he gives her a warm smile.
“She didn’t want you to be scared, so she thought if I was here, you wouldn’t be. Don’t feel bad. I understand. I’m not as scared when other people are around either.”
“I don’t get it.”
“There’s nothing to get!” He leans forward and laughs.
“What do you mean? Where’s Lilly? What’s going on?” Her face contorts and his smile finally fades.
“Lilly had something to take care of. Things will go back to how they were, but for now, you have to be calm.” She didn’t notice it right away, but his hand is resting gently over hers, only covering half of it. She can feel the clamminess of it, but she doesn’t move hers from underneath his.
Her mind races and she wants to ask more questions, but realizes that this is a seven year old. She doesn’t want to confuse him, besides it’s probably just a coincidence, and he’s probably talking about a different Lilly. So, she starts slow.
“What does Lilly have to take care of?”
His eyes widen and he sucks in a breath. “Ooh, sorry I can’t tell you that. There are rules,” he accentuates rules and nods.
“Rules?” She narrows her eyes at him
“Yup!”
“What are the rules?” She questions.
“Well, I can’t tell you what she has to take care of and I can’t tell you anything, I can only point you in certain directions, hint at some things. You know…”
“Sam, is this some make-believe game you made up?” She asks in the patented child-talk voice.
“No way!” He laughs and shakes his head, placing his hands next to him on the bench, leaning on them.
He stops laughing and furrows his brows. “Oh no, I can’t remember what she said!” Veronica eyes him suspiciously while he places his hand on his forehead.
“Lilly? What Lilly said?”
“Yeah, how she said you’d know. How you’d understand.” He shakes his head and rests it in his hands.
“Understand what?”
“I know!” he says, quickly lifting his head, starting Veronica. Looking around he says, “See that shiny sign over there?” He points to a red sign that reads “ticketed passengers only”.
She looks at it and nods. “Go over there and look at it.”
She slowly stands and walks over to the sign. “What am I looking for?”
He tips up his chubby chin. “Just look at yourself.”
She looks back at the sign and Lilly’s face stares back at her. She jumps and Sam rushes over to her.
“It’s okay.” He says.
“I just saw Lilly!” Veronica’s voice comes out shrill and she breathes in deeply, she doesn’t want to scare the little boy, although it seems as though he isn’t in the slightest and she definitely is.
“Yeah. You saw Lilly’s face. Not Lilly though, it’s you.”
She looks back and touches her face. Lilly’s hand reaches up and touches hers.
“Lilly needed to take care of something. She didn’t want to switch with you, but it was the only way. You were the only one she could get through to.”
Veronica stares at the reflection and as her eyes start to water; Lilly’s water as well. “Oh my God.” She covers her mouth and realizes for the first time that it’s not her voice she hears. She fingers the shiny blonde locks that cascade down her chest.
“Let’s sit back down for a second.” Sam takes her hand and leads her to the bench.
Veronica doesn’t want to admit what she thinks is happening, but it explains why the smell is so different, why her boobs are different, why there isn’t any wind, and there aren’t any clouds. Why she is confused, but comforted and almost relieved.
“You and Lilly,” he starts. “She is you and you are her.”
“Lilly and I…” She shakes her head before continuing, the skepticism evident. “…switched places?”
“Yup!” He beams, proud of himself.
“Is this heaven then?”
“Nope, not heaven.” He places a finger on his chin. “Think of it as an in between.”
She gives him an incredulous look. “What like ghosts or something?”
“No, no, no. Ghosts are something that people made up when they couldn’t ‘splain things. This is better than that.”
She puts her head in her hands. “I’m so confused.”
“I know it’s not easy. But, Lilly needs your help.” Veronica simply shakes her head and he places his hand on her back. “It’s okay,” he whispers. “Lilly said you needed to cry. That you don’t let yourself enough. ‘Specially when you get to the breaking point.” She does, her shoulders shaking and he scoots closer to her, chipping off more paint. She can feel his head resting on hers and she can see his scraped knee peaking out from under his khaki shorts.
She lifts her head to look at him and he’s been crying too. “I know you miss her, Veronica. She misses you too. That’s what keeps her here. What keeps me here, too.” He looks down and her lips quiver.
“How did you get here?” She asks.
He smiles at her through his tears. “That’s another rule. I can’t tell you that.” He brings up his chubby hand; the one with the balloon attached, and wipes his face with the back of it.
“It’s just not fair.” She whispers. “You’re too young.”
“It has nothing to do with fairness.” He smiles at her again.
“You’re way too smart for your age.” She sniffs.
“Lilly said that too!” He leans back and puts his hand on his belly. They both jump when a bell rings and a horn blares in the distance. Veronica stands and looks around.
“Oh, it’s time.” He jumps off the bench and walks over to the edge of the platform. Veronica doesn’t follow. “Come on,” he says, motioning her over with his hand.
He looks down the narrow tracks and she follows. There is a large train, its horn blowing, slowing down right before it reaches them.
“You gotta go,” he says.
“Aren’t you coming?”
He smiles brightly. “Sorry, this one isn’t for me.” His face brightens.
She reluctantly steps on the train, looking at him when she reaches the top. He waves, the balloon bobbing up and down. She waves back.
*
Unlike Veronica, Lilly knows right away, after all she made it happen. Her eyes don’t immediately focus, but she knows where she is; she can smell Veronica. She pushes her head into the pillow and inhales, a small smile forming on her face. Sunlight peaks through the window and she can feel it warming her back. She stretches and climbs out of bed, grinning at the pictures of her and Veronica on Veronica’s desk.
She walks over to the closet and starts rummaging through the clothes. She picks out Veronica’s short jean skirt and a red hooded t-shirt. (How many times did she try to get Veronica to wear shorter skirts, tighter clothing and now that she’s gone, her closet is filled with tight skirts and rocker chick outfits?) She pulls on Veronica’s tall boots and looks in the mirror, her smile falls and her eyes burn with unshed tears. All she’s wanted for over a year now is to see Veronica again, talk to Duncan, hug Logan and apologize for being such a bitch to all of them. Now that she’s back, she can’t see Veronica and she can’t tell anyone that she’s there.
“Veronica?” Mr. Mars’ voice echoes through the house, interrupting Lilly’s thoughts.
“Yeah?” She clears her throat and pins her hair up.
“You getting out of bed anytime soon? I’ve got pancakes!”
“I’ll be right there.” Lilly finishes pinning her (Veronica’s) hair and walks out to the kitchen. She pads across the room to where Mr. Mars has placed the pancakes. She smiles and he walks over, kissing her temple. She thinks she could cry right then. Mr. Mars had always been nice to her, but she can feel the affection he has for his daughter. The smiley face pancakes, the kiss, the way he looks at her reminds her what a strong bond Veronica and her dad have.
She looks at the pancakes again and he notices her eyeing them. “I noticed you’ve been kinda down lately,” he explains. “What with the investigation and Logan and everything.” He treads lightly on the sore subject.
She jerks her head up at the mention of Logan. She knows that Veronica and Logan were having a secret relationship and that Veronica had accused him of the rape and then of murder. God, Veronica is smart but she can be so blind sometimes.
Lilly sits down and bites into her pancake. “Thanks,” she whispers and her best friend’s dad’s eyes gleam with something she had always wanted to see in her own parent’s eyes.
*
The train is darkly lit, the only light coming from old stained glass lamps on the tables and hung on the walls. Veronica walks down a hall to an open area. Booths line up and down one side of the car; the seats plush crimson. She sits down at a booth and places her elbows on the table in front of her. Looking out the window, she can’t quite make out what is passing by; it seems to be a smear of colors swiping across the windows as though being brushed on with a paintbrush.
“Veronica?” She hears a woman’s voice from behind her. A tall, thin woman standing at the end of the hall smiles when Veronica whips her head around. She makes her way towards the booth, taking long strides down the hall. Her white dress flows with each step, the drop waist accented by a burgundy sash. Her waist length wavy hair bounces off her back with each step and when she reaches Veronica she sits across from her and smiles.
“I’m Charlotte,” she says, extending her hand. Veronica shakes it and Charlotte places her other hand over Veronica’s. Something about the woman’s touch sends a shock through her and she quickly pulls away. The woman smiles, her mouth and eyes both crinkling at the corners and there’s something about her that reminds Veronica of Sam, but she can’t quite place it.
“I like your hair,” she says, pointing at Veronica’s head. She touches her head and notices for the first time that there is a burgundy scarf wrapped around it and tied behind her neck.
“Thanks,” she says, touching the scarf, her eyebrows slanting in confusion.
“Cute kid, huh?”
“Yeah,” Veronica says quietly, almost whispering. “Really smart.”
“He’s seen a lot; it’ll make you grow up fast.” She looks down at her hands, folded neatly in her lap. Her arms are lean and strong, freckles peaking out from underneath the thick straps on her shoulders. She clasps her hands together and her silver bangles jingle together.
“Why am I here?” Veronica questions, wasting no time getting to the point.
“Well, I know Sam told you there are rules. The rules are important because if we don’t follow them, including Lilly, then the switch back,” she turns her hands around each other, “won’t happen. You’ll be in it for the long haul.”
“Lilly has to follow rules for this to work? Oh God...” Her voice comes out high pitched.
“Yup.”
“So, what are the ‘rules’?” she air quotes.
“Well, first of all, I can’t tell you anything specific. I can only answer certain questions. And it’s extremely important that Lilly doesn’t change anything too drastically.”
“What do you mean? What’s the point of switching then?” Her voice is getting higher and she lifts up her hand for effect.
“She can’t change anything too much. She can do little things.” Charlotte looks down and her hair falls, waves framing her face. “Coincidences. Those little things that happen by chance, that’s people like me and Lilly and Sam making little changes.”
“Lilly’s helping me find out who killed her…” she trails off with the realization and Charlotte nods her head. “Sam said that Lilly switched with me because I was the only one she could get through to.”
“That’s right. You were actively trying to find out who killed her; you had the same feelings that Lilly had up here, the curiosity, the guilt. That’s why it worked, the only way it works.”
“What do you mean?”
She leans on her elbows. “We-me, Sam, Lilly-are all here because we still have emotions. That’s what keeps us connected, what ties us to the real world. Feelings are an earthly thing and it attaches us to the living world. As long as we are feeling guilt, remorse, curiosity, fear, sadness, we will stay here, we won’t move on. Often, the only way to not feel those things is to help out.” She leans back against the velvety cushion.
Veronica leans forward, her eyes searching hers. “Why aren’t you helping out? Why isn’t Sam? Why don’t more people ‘help’?”
“Why I’m not helping…is because I have nobody to connect to. Lilly and I have something in common, but unlike her family and friends, mine don’t know I was killed.” She tucks an ash colored strand behind her ear.
“You were murdered.”
“Shot in the stomach. But it was ruled as a suicide.” She points to her burgundy sash and Veronica grazes her fingertips over the scarf on her head.
“What about Sam then? He said he couldn’t tell me how he died.”
“That’s because Sam wasn’t murdered.” Veronica lets out a heavy breath she didn’t realize she had been holding. “He still has feelings, but those are different than mine and Lilly’s.”
“So I’m just supposed to wait up here then? I can’t do anything?” She squints and tears fall down her cheeks.
Charlotte reaches out and places her hand over Veronica’s and the warmth calms her.
*
Lilly finishes her breakfast as Mr. Mars appears from his room. “I’m heading out, kiddo. I’ll be back Monday.” He kisses her forehead and grabs his briefcase from the kitchen counter.
“Now, no parties, no booze, no drugs, no boys.” He ticks off his fingers with each one and she rolls her eyes.
“Dad, you know I only do that during the week, when I'm skipping school,” she says, smiling and chewing at the same time. He rushes past Backup, patting him on the head and walking out the door.
Lilly walks to the window and as soon as Keith pulls out, she grabs Veronica’s keys from the table and runs to her car, squealing out as she takes off.
It takes her a bit to realize how to get there from Veronica’s apartment, and the fact that she’s trying to use Veronica’s cell while driving doesn’t make it any easier. She places the phone to her ear. “Benzie County mortuary, please.” She waits for a minute and then continues. “Hi, my name is Lilly, I’m from Sheriff Blanch’s office, I was wondering if you could fax over the autopsy reports for a Charlotte Clark, June 1992. Yeah, we’ve received new information. Thanks.”
She hangs up and realizes she’s at the beach and then it only takes her a couple minutes to reach her house. She parks down the street from it and walks to the gates. She pulls a couple of cinder blocks from the bushes (they’re still there! Duncan always wondered how she snuck it without their parents noticing) and climbs on them and over the fence. Lilly knows her parents are gone at the Napa house for the weekend so she keys in the code and opens the door, disabling the alarm before it goes off.
The house looks exactly like it did before she died with the clean straight lines of the foyer and the hideous painting of a sunset that greeted everyone when they arrived. She brushes her fingers over the vase that rests on a marble tabletop when she walks past. She climbs the stairs, her stomach fluttering with each step. She reaches her room and opens the door, peaking her head in. It looks the same and she smiles because she really thought her parent’s might make it their personal workout room. It really does surprise her.
She walks to her vanity and touches the pictures stuck to the side of the mirror. She pulls one of her, Logan, Veronica and Duncan at homecoming. She brushes her fingers over each person and then puts it back. She opens the drawer, pulling out a small screwdriver and moves the bench to stand on it. She reaches towards the vent, about to open it when she hears someone talking.
“The party is at your place at 8? Is Logan gonna be there?” It’s Duncan. She could recognize his voice even if it had been 10 years since she heard it. “Well, I guess I’ve gotta face him sometime. See ya.” She hears the phone shut and footsteps coming towards her. She opens the vent and reaches her hand in, moving it around, not feeling anything. “Crap,” she whispers, her face scowling, realizing that what she is looking for isn’t there.
She hears the door slowly creak open and before she can hide, she sees Duncan standing in the doorway. Her face crumples and her eyes start to water.
“Veronica, what the hell are you doing here?” Duncan asks her, anger etched on his face. She looks down for a minute because she almost forgot that she actually is Veronica.
“Duncan…” she begins to plead.
“I can’t believe you would come in here. In her room after everything you’ve done!” She climbs off the chair and starts towards him.
“Let me explain.” She reaches out to touch him and he pulls back. She pulls her hands back and bites her thumbnail.
“I don’t know what you are doing here, but either way it’s breaking and entering. I should probably call the sheriff,” he says, menacingly, crossing his arms over his chest.
“Duncan, please,” she pleads and the tears are rolling down her cheeks, falling to the floor before she can wipe them away. He looks at her and his face softens with her tears. “I know you didn’t do it. I’m so sorry,” she apologizes, not for Veronica’s accusations; really she’s not that sure of what she is apologizing for, maybe for being reckless and dying.
“I think you should leave,” he says, his voice so small that she can barely hear him.
“Okay,” her gaze falls to the floor and she starts to brush past him, but abruptly stops, throwing her arms around him, hugging him tight. He’s surprised at first, but then he wraps his arms around her and buries his head in her hair. He closes his eyes because the tears are starting to form, but then she pulls away and runs out of the house, opening the front gate and running to Veronica’s car, sobs racking her body with each step.
*
Veronica and Charlotte have been sitting in silence, Veronica’s head resting on her hands, Charlotte’s leg fidgeting under the table.
Veronica lifts her head. “So, I really just have to wait?” Charlotte nods her head and Veronica exhales loudly. “You can’t tell me anything? Give me any clues?”
“You know Veronica, sometimes the biggest clues are the ones you find when you aren’t even looking.”
Veronica scoffs and rests her chin on her palm, looking out the window.
“She said you were stubborn.” With that, Veronica looks directly at her, eyebrows furrowed. “In a good way,” she adds. There is a long pause, Veronica trying to decide if she should ask this question, if she wants to know the answer.
She decides she needs to know. “She’s doing okay, right?” she squeaks.
“Definitely. She understands that there are better things ahead than what was left behind. It took a little bit, but she’s realized it.” Veronica squirms, suddenly uncomfortable and feeling very drowsy.
“You look tired, maybe you should rest for awhile,” Charlotte recommends. Veronica’s head feels very heavy and she rests it on the table, murmuring an agreement. Charlotte brings her hand up to brush the hair out of her face.
*
After driving around for awhile to clear her head she pulls up down the street from the Echoll's mansion. It’s after 8 and she figures Logan must be gone, which makes it the perfect time to get what she needs. She rings the bell and Aaron answers. She shivers and asks him to buzz her in.
Aaron is waiting for her at the door and places his hand on the small of her back, leading her in and she wants to shake him off her, but she doesn’t want to be suspicious.
“I think I left my cell phone in Logan’s room,” she explains. “I swear I’ll just be a second.”
“No problem,” he says, walking backwards to the kitchen. “I’m making some dinner if you’d like to have some when you’re finished.”
“Thanks.” She responds, a fake smile plastered across her face.
“I’ll be in here if you need anything.” He points to the kitchen. She makes her way up the stairs and walks past Logan’s room. Looking around to make sure Aaron didn’t follow her, and after realizing the coast is clear, she ducks into Aaron’s bedroom.
She feels like throwing up when she walks in and the smell of Aaron lingers in the air. Either that or running downstairs, punching him, screaming at him; but she knows that it won’t help anything if she does. She searches his room for awhile, finding nothing except for a few girly magazines when she notices a small vent on the floor. She bends down and peers in but can’t see anything. She looks around for a screwdriver, she always kept one near her vent and she knows Logan does too, but comes up empty in her search. She pulls a bobby pin out of her hair and starts to unscrew it with that. Thankfully, the screws weren’t in tightly and she opens the vent, pushing her hand inside, feeling for them. She pulls out the tapes, as she hears the door open behind her.
“Hello Veronica.” Aaron leers over her, his face contorted in an evil grin. “Find what you were looking for?”
She doesn’t know which option to take, lie and pretend like she has no idea what he is talking about or tell him he knows exactly what he did. She decides to go with the latter.
“I know you did it.” She says coolly, standing to her feet, the tapes behind her back.
“I will admit it Veronica, I thought you would have found out sooner. Guess you aren’t as smart as you think you are.” He steps towards her and she steps back, her back pressed against the wall.
“You’d like to believe that, wouldn’t you? That some 17 year old girl isn’t smarter than you, but I hate to break it to you, I am.” She points to herself and he smirks.
“You know,” he laughs, “Lilly was in love with me. I had her wrapped around my little finger.” He lifts up his index finger.
She scoffs. “Please! She was using you for the thrill!” She throws her arms up beside her and he grabs them, pinning her to the wall, taking her a little off guard.
“Shut up, you little bitch. I’ve killed once, I’m not afraid to do it again.” He sneers and she can feel his spit hitting her face when he talks.
“Ewwww, think you could quit spraying me? God!” He pins her harder and she gasps.
“Lilly liked it rough too.” Okay, now she really wants to throw up. He wiggles his eyebrows at her and she knees him in the groin. He falls to the ground and she runs out of the room. She can hear him behind her; can hear his panting and his heavy footsteps and she picks up speed as she reaches the stairs.
“Wanna know how I did it, Veronica? How I killed her?” He asks teasing her, his voice getting louder and closer.
She starts down the stairs, looking back for a second. “You’re a freak! You killed Lilly!” She whips her head back around and loses her footing and tumbles down the stairs. She hears another familiar voice and then everything fades to black.
*
Veronica’s vision is hazed and she struggles to adjust her eyes. Her head is pounding and she rubs her forehead. She’s at Lilly’s grave. She stands and looks at it, light rain sprinkling over her. She brushes her hand over the top of the casket that has not been placed in the ground yet and notices that she has two flowers in her hand, red roses, one shorter but blooming out in all directions and the other taller and partially closed. Tiny raindrops stick to the petals and she sets them down on the casket. She closes her eyes and someone walks up beside her.
It’s Aaron and she remembers this. She remembers how weird he was acting after Lilly’s death and the bizarre conversation he had with her the day of her funeral. There’s silence for a minute and Veronica feels the pit in her stomach getting bigger.
“She was a good girl,” he says, keeping his eyes on the casket.
“Yeah, she was.” She says quietly.
“You guys were best friends, huh?”
“Yeah,” she says, even softer. He hands her his scarlet satin handkerchief and when she takes it, this time she notices how much it looks like blood, blood on his hands. She wipes her eyes.
“You guys probably told each other everything, huh?” He’s looking at her now and she looks up at him.
“Not everything,” she says, but she doesn’t remember saying that, she only remembers him walking away, looking back for a second and giving her an encouraging smile.
She closes her eyes, her head throbbing even more and she’s starting to lose her balance. She can see things, hear things…
The carwash. “I’ve got a secret, a good one.”
Charlotte. “You know Veronica, sometimes the biggest clues are the ones you find when you aren’t even looking.”
Sam. “Lilly said you needed to cry. That you don’t let yourself enough. ‘Specially when you get to the breaking point.”
Charlotte. “The rules are important because if we don’t follow them, including Lilly, then the switch back won’t happen. You’ll be in it for the long haul.”
She can see her tank top, the AE embroidered on it. She can see Sam kicking his shoes together and the way his Adidas socks fell just right so all she could see was the A and the big E on his Etnies shoes.
Veronica opens her eyes and she’s still in the cemetery. She can hear Sam giggling and can see Charlotte’s flowing white dress. They are running around an open area and she runs over to them, but stops short when she sees who is with them. She’s laughing with them, her eyes sparkling and she stops and looks at Veronica. Veronica quickly walks over to them and Lilly starts towards Veronica as well.
“Hey there, Veronica Mars,” she says, the words rolling off her tongue, when she reaches her. She tucks a stray strand of Veronica’s hair behind her ear.
“I miss you,” Veronica says, her eyes glistening. Lilly starts to walk around her and Veronica turns with her, her vision blurring just like the windows on the train.
“Be careful,” Lilly says, swallowing the lump in her throat. She smiles and continues walking around Veronica. She pulls the crimson scarf off her head and it flows behind her. Veronica turns with her until she can’t see anything but white.
*
Veronica’s head is pounding as she opens her eyes. She doesn’t know where she is and when she looks around she realizes she’s in the Echoll’s house, at the bottom of the stairs to be exact. She touches her head and looks at her blood stained fingers.
She moves to sit up but the pain is too much. She notices her chest, realizing her boobs are back to normal. She touches her hair and realizes she is back in her body. She hears him scuffing across the floor and she lies flat, closing her eyes. She can feel him looming over her, can see his shadow next to her, something in his hands over his head. He bends slightly getting ready to hit her and she rolls over, screaming.
“Veronica, let’s not make this harder than it should be.” He says calmly. She struggles to sit up when he bends down closer to her. “Lilly just laid there and let me do whatever I wanted, including bash her skull in.” He picks up the statue and shakes it towards her. He stands and brings it over his head again. She tries to stand when she hears a familiar voice. The statue falls to the ground next to her and then she can see Aaron and Logan fighting on the ground.
She crawls to the phone that sits on a small table and dials 911, nothing but sobbing comes out. She drops the phone when she sees that Aaron has Logan pinned to the floor and is reaching for the statue. He’s got it in his hands when she grunts and stands up, jumping on Aaron’s back.
He flails around with her on him and drops the statue. He swings around, sending her to the ground. Logan stands, grabs the statue and walks towards his father, his eyes cold and threatening.
“Logan, come on, son. It’s not supposed to be like this,” he says, his arms opening to him.
Logan laughs and Veronica hears sirens approaching. “That’s a line from one of your stupid piece of shit movies!”
Aaron cocks his head to the side. “I tried,” he shrugs.
Logan finally acknowledges Veronica and motions to her. “Veronica, get over here.” She stands and hobbles over to him. Logan stares at his father, his jaw set. “I should kill you.” Veronica looks at Logan’s face and feels scared again.
“Logan,” she pleads, trying to get his attention, but it’s focused on his father. He pulls the statue over his head and steps towards his father when they hear knocking at the door.
“Police, open up!” a voice says from the other side. Veronica walks over and unlocks the door as Logan drops the statue. The short time after that becomes a blur of arresting and questions and accusations. Logan won’t look at her when they are in the ambulance and she’s too exhausted to say anything.
*
It’s been a week since the showdown with Aaron. The police found the tapes near the stairs and with Veronica and Logan’s eyewitness account, they arrested Aaron for the murder of Lilly Kane.
Veronica sits on the couch, flipping through the channels. Her father has kept a tight leash on her, that’s for sure, but she’s getting antsy and tells him she needs some air. She pulls on her shoes and her dad grabs the remote and flips through the channels. He stops on the news and she looks up.
“Thirteen years ago, Charlotte Clark, 32, of Michigan died from a gunshot wound to her stomach. The police ruled it as a suicide, but after an anonymous tip the police received last week, the case has been reopened. After re-examining the autopsy report, the police report that there is no possible way she could have shot herself and that the sheriff at the time, now Judge Greg Roland, had a hand in covering up the murder.”
Her mouth drops and her father looks at her. “You okay?” he asks.
She smiles and nods.
She drives to the house, the house that used to have fun memories of the four of them in the pool, playing games, but is now tainted with blood and bruises and fear.
He lets her in, she doesn’t expect him to let her in so easily, but when he closes the door behind her, she can see everything looks the same as it did that night.
He plops down on the couch grabbing the video game controller and she stands there, a small white bag in her hands.
“You just gonna stand there?” he asks. She walks over broken glass and sits next to him. He pauses the game and drops the controller to his lap, avoiding her gaze.
“I’m so so sorry, Logan,” she says, quietly. He doesn’t respond so she continues. “When he was about to…I…” she chokes and he looks at her, but then she averts her eyes. There’s a pause until he points to the bag.
“What’s in the bag?”
“Take-out. From Romero’s. I thought you might be hungry.” He stares into her eyes and she can feel them burning. She can’t cry right now, she won’t let herself. He brings his hand up to her forehead, smoothing out the bandage on it.
“He’s branded you too,” he whispers. She grabs his other hand in hers and strums her fingers on his palm. He pulls her into his arms and she exhales. He buries his head in her hair. “Thanks for saving me,” he says into her shoulder.
“Thanks for saving me,” she says, lightly laughing.
Author: Lindsey (
little_linds)
Pairing/Character: Mostly Veronica/Lilly, but Duncan and Logan are in it too, along with some others.
Word Count: 6,122
Rating: PG-13/R for violence and somewhat disturbing themes I suppose.
Summary: Veronica and Lilly switch places. Takes place after Veronica accuses Logan in Leave it to Beaver, then goes AU-obviously.
Spoilers/Warnings: Season 1
Author's Note: This was written for the
vmars_switchedchallenge and is nothing like I've ever written before. I hope you guys aren't put off by the premise and that it's not really like the usual fic, cause I think it's kinda interesting. I really ran with this idea, lol. This is unbeta'd cause I didn't know when I'd get internet access again and also today is the deadline (smacks forehead!), so all mistakes are mine. And man, this is the longest fic I've ever written. I've had writers block then I write 6,122 words! Feedback is appreciated.
Veronica will admit it, the first change she notices are her boobs. Lilly had always been the more ‘endowed’ of the pair and Veronica often felt less than adequate, but this-this is just weird.
Maybe the smell should have tipped her off, because Neptune only smells of smog and scandal and the smell lingering in the air is definitely rose, but nope, it was the boobs.
She looks down and notices how her tank top hugs her chest tightly, a red American Eagle tank, AE embroidered on the bottom corner. She immediately recognizes it as Lilly’s. She smoothes out her jean skirt, fingering the stray thread on the bottom and realizes the skirt is Lilly’s too. The outfit is actually Lilly’s favorite lounge wear. She smiles inwardly when she can hear Lilly saying “Comfortable doesn’t have to be boring, Veronica Mars.”
Veronica had always wanted the Kane’s to give her something of Lilly’s--this outfit, her favorite stuffed animal, Lilly’s favorite pair of earrings, anything; but of course that never happened. And it definitely doesn’t explain why she’s wearing it now.
She squints her eyes, assessing her surroundings, realizing she has no idea where she is. The sun is shining down on her and the heat radiates off her back. She crosses her legs under her, realizing she is sitting on a bench. She rubs her hands over the chipped brown paint, pieces falling to the ground in the wake. They land on the concrete below her, falling on the dandelions sprouting out of the cracks in the pavement.
She didn’t notice him right away, the small child sitting next to her, but when she looks over at him and he smiles, she feels a mixture of relief, curiosity, and fear, all forming at the bottom of her stomach.
His smile scrunches his whole face and squishes his eyes closed, his face beaming at her.
“Hi,” he says, reaching out his chubby hand to shake hers. She reluctantly obliges and his smile widens. He rests his hands on his pudgy tummy popping out from under his tie-dye t-shirt, his other hand on the arm of the bench, a red balloon tied around his wrist. His feet dangle from the bench and he swings his Etnies clad feet back and forth, one of his Adidas socks slouching down his leg. She thinks he must be 8 or 9.
“I’m 7,” he says, holding up a hand and two fingers.
She smiles back. “Hi 7,” she jokes. He giggles, his sandy-blonde shaggy hair shining when he moves his head back and forth.
“No, my name is Sam! Silly…”
“Hi Sam, I’m Veronica.” She ducks her head to look at him. “I’m this many.” She flashes her hands once and then holds up 7 fingers.
“Wow!” He looks quite amazed and she laughs. “I’ve never met anyone that many.” He puts his hands under his legs and continues swinging them.
“Really?” His confession prompts her to look around at the deserted train station. “Where’s your parents?” Her face crinkles in confusion and when she looks back at him he’s giving her a different smile, a more reassuring one.
“Don’t worry, Veronica. You’re okay.”
“What?”
“Lilly told me you’d probably be scared. Uhhh…I mean, she said, don’t say that cause you’d get umm…fensive? I mean, she said you’d be confused.” Her eyes glaze over.
“Lilly?” She shakes her head and he gives her a warm smile.
“She didn’t want you to be scared, so she thought if I was here, you wouldn’t be. Don’t feel bad. I understand. I’m not as scared when other people are around either.”
“I don’t get it.”
“There’s nothing to get!” He leans forward and laughs.
“What do you mean? Where’s Lilly? What’s going on?” Her face contorts and his smile finally fades.
“Lilly had something to take care of. Things will go back to how they were, but for now, you have to be calm.” She didn’t notice it right away, but his hand is resting gently over hers, only covering half of it. She can feel the clamminess of it, but she doesn’t move hers from underneath his.
Her mind races and she wants to ask more questions, but realizes that this is a seven year old. She doesn’t want to confuse him, besides it’s probably just a coincidence, and he’s probably talking about a different Lilly. So, she starts slow.
“What does Lilly have to take care of?”
His eyes widen and he sucks in a breath. “Ooh, sorry I can’t tell you that. There are rules,” he accentuates rules and nods.
“Rules?” She narrows her eyes at him
“Yup!”
“What are the rules?” She questions.
“Well, I can’t tell you what she has to take care of and I can’t tell you anything, I can only point you in certain directions, hint at some things. You know…”
“Sam, is this some make-believe game you made up?” She asks in the patented child-talk voice.
“No way!” He laughs and shakes his head, placing his hands next to him on the bench, leaning on them.
He stops laughing and furrows his brows. “Oh no, I can’t remember what she said!” Veronica eyes him suspiciously while he places his hand on his forehead.
“Lilly? What Lilly said?”
“Yeah, how she said you’d know. How you’d understand.” He shakes his head and rests it in his hands.
“Understand what?”
“I know!” he says, quickly lifting his head, starting Veronica. Looking around he says, “See that shiny sign over there?” He points to a red sign that reads “ticketed passengers only”.
She looks at it and nods. “Go over there and look at it.”
She slowly stands and walks over to the sign. “What am I looking for?”
He tips up his chubby chin. “Just look at yourself.”
She looks back at the sign and Lilly’s face stares back at her. She jumps and Sam rushes over to her.
“It’s okay.” He says.
“I just saw Lilly!” Veronica’s voice comes out shrill and she breathes in deeply, she doesn’t want to scare the little boy, although it seems as though he isn’t in the slightest and she definitely is.
“Yeah. You saw Lilly’s face. Not Lilly though, it’s you.”
She looks back and touches her face. Lilly’s hand reaches up and touches hers.
“Lilly needed to take care of something. She didn’t want to switch with you, but it was the only way. You were the only one she could get through to.”
Veronica stares at the reflection and as her eyes start to water; Lilly’s water as well. “Oh my God.” She covers her mouth and realizes for the first time that it’s not her voice she hears. She fingers the shiny blonde locks that cascade down her chest.
“Let’s sit back down for a second.” Sam takes her hand and leads her to the bench.
Veronica doesn’t want to admit what she thinks is happening, but it explains why the smell is so different, why her boobs are different, why there isn’t any wind, and there aren’t any clouds. Why she is confused, but comforted and almost relieved.
“You and Lilly,” he starts. “She is you and you are her.”
“Lilly and I…” She shakes her head before continuing, the skepticism evident. “…switched places?”
“Yup!” He beams, proud of himself.
“Is this heaven then?”
“Nope, not heaven.” He places a finger on his chin. “Think of it as an in between.”
She gives him an incredulous look. “What like ghosts or something?”
“No, no, no. Ghosts are something that people made up when they couldn’t ‘splain things. This is better than that.”
She puts her head in her hands. “I’m so confused.”
“I know it’s not easy. But, Lilly needs your help.” Veronica simply shakes her head and he places his hand on her back. “It’s okay,” he whispers. “Lilly said you needed to cry. That you don’t let yourself enough. ‘Specially when you get to the breaking point.” She does, her shoulders shaking and he scoots closer to her, chipping off more paint. She can feel his head resting on hers and she can see his scraped knee peaking out from under his khaki shorts.
She lifts her head to look at him and he’s been crying too. “I know you miss her, Veronica. She misses you too. That’s what keeps her here. What keeps me here, too.” He looks down and her lips quiver.
“How did you get here?” She asks.
He smiles at her through his tears. “That’s another rule. I can’t tell you that.” He brings up his chubby hand; the one with the balloon attached, and wipes his face with the back of it.
“It’s just not fair.” She whispers. “You’re too young.”
“It has nothing to do with fairness.” He smiles at her again.
“You’re way too smart for your age.” She sniffs.
“Lilly said that too!” He leans back and puts his hand on his belly. They both jump when a bell rings and a horn blares in the distance. Veronica stands and looks around.
“Oh, it’s time.” He jumps off the bench and walks over to the edge of the platform. Veronica doesn’t follow. “Come on,” he says, motioning her over with his hand.
He looks down the narrow tracks and she follows. There is a large train, its horn blowing, slowing down right before it reaches them.
“You gotta go,” he says.
“Aren’t you coming?”
He smiles brightly. “Sorry, this one isn’t for me.” His face brightens.
She reluctantly steps on the train, looking at him when she reaches the top. He waves, the balloon bobbing up and down. She waves back.
*
Unlike Veronica, Lilly knows right away, after all she made it happen. Her eyes don’t immediately focus, but she knows where she is; she can smell Veronica. She pushes her head into the pillow and inhales, a small smile forming on her face. Sunlight peaks through the window and she can feel it warming her back. She stretches and climbs out of bed, grinning at the pictures of her and Veronica on Veronica’s desk.
She walks over to the closet and starts rummaging through the clothes. She picks out Veronica’s short jean skirt and a red hooded t-shirt. (How many times did she try to get Veronica to wear shorter skirts, tighter clothing and now that she’s gone, her closet is filled with tight skirts and rocker chick outfits?) She pulls on Veronica’s tall boots and looks in the mirror, her smile falls and her eyes burn with unshed tears. All she’s wanted for over a year now is to see Veronica again, talk to Duncan, hug Logan and apologize for being such a bitch to all of them. Now that she’s back, she can’t see Veronica and she can’t tell anyone that she’s there.
“Veronica?” Mr. Mars’ voice echoes through the house, interrupting Lilly’s thoughts.
“Yeah?” She clears her throat and pins her hair up.
“You getting out of bed anytime soon? I’ve got pancakes!”
“I’ll be right there.” Lilly finishes pinning her (Veronica’s) hair and walks out to the kitchen. She pads across the room to where Mr. Mars has placed the pancakes. She smiles and he walks over, kissing her temple. She thinks she could cry right then. Mr. Mars had always been nice to her, but she can feel the affection he has for his daughter. The smiley face pancakes, the kiss, the way he looks at her reminds her what a strong bond Veronica and her dad have.
She looks at the pancakes again and he notices her eyeing them. “I noticed you’ve been kinda down lately,” he explains. “What with the investigation and Logan and everything.” He treads lightly on the sore subject.
She jerks her head up at the mention of Logan. She knows that Veronica and Logan were having a secret relationship and that Veronica had accused him of the rape and then of murder. God, Veronica is smart but she can be so blind sometimes.
Lilly sits down and bites into her pancake. “Thanks,” she whispers and her best friend’s dad’s eyes gleam with something she had always wanted to see in her own parent’s eyes.
*
The train is darkly lit, the only light coming from old stained glass lamps on the tables and hung on the walls. Veronica walks down a hall to an open area. Booths line up and down one side of the car; the seats plush crimson. She sits down at a booth and places her elbows on the table in front of her. Looking out the window, she can’t quite make out what is passing by; it seems to be a smear of colors swiping across the windows as though being brushed on with a paintbrush.
“Veronica?” She hears a woman’s voice from behind her. A tall, thin woman standing at the end of the hall smiles when Veronica whips her head around. She makes her way towards the booth, taking long strides down the hall. Her white dress flows with each step, the drop waist accented by a burgundy sash. Her waist length wavy hair bounces off her back with each step and when she reaches Veronica she sits across from her and smiles.
“I’m Charlotte,” she says, extending her hand. Veronica shakes it and Charlotte places her other hand over Veronica’s. Something about the woman’s touch sends a shock through her and she quickly pulls away. The woman smiles, her mouth and eyes both crinkling at the corners and there’s something about her that reminds Veronica of Sam, but she can’t quite place it.
“I like your hair,” she says, pointing at Veronica’s head. She touches her head and notices for the first time that there is a burgundy scarf wrapped around it and tied behind her neck.
“Thanks,” she says, touching the scarf, her eyebrows slanting in confusion.
“Cute kid, huh?”
“Yeah,” Veronica says quietly, almost whispering. “Really smart.”
“He’s seen a lot; it’ll make you grow up fast.” She looks down at her hands, folded neatly in her lap. Her arms are lean and strong, freckles peaking out from underneath the thick straps on her shoulders. She clasps her hands together and her silver bangles jingle together.
“Why am I here?” Veronica questions, wasting no time getting to the point.
“Well, I know Sam told you there are rules. The rules are important because if we don’t follow them, including Lilly, then the switch back,” she turns her hands around each other, “won’t happen. You’ll be in it for the long haul.”
“Lilly has to follow rules for this to work? Oh God...” Her voice comes out high pitched.
“Yup.”
“So, what are the ‘rules’?” she air quotes.
“Well, first of all, I can’t tell you anything specific. I can only answer certain questions. And it’s extremely important that Lilly doesn’t change anything too drastically.”
“What do you mean? What’s the point of switching then?” Her voice is getting higher and she lifts up her hand for effect.
“She can’t change anything too much. She can do little things.” Charlotte looks down and her hair falls, waves framing her face. “Coincidences. Those little things that happen by chance, that’s people like me and Lilly and Sam making little changes.”
“Lilly’s helping me find out who killed her…” she trails off with the realization and Charlotte nods her head. “Sam said that Lilly switched with me because I was the only one she could get through to.”
“That’s right. You were actively trying to find out who killed her; you had the same feelings that Lilly had up here, the curiosity, the guilt. That’s why it worked, the only way it works.”
“What do you mean?”
She leans on her elbows. “We-me, Sam, Lilly-are all here because we still have emotions. That’s what keeps us connected, what ties us to the real world. Feelings are an earthly thing and it attaches us to the living world. As long as we are feeling guilt, remorse, curiosity, fear, sadness, we will stay here, we won’t move on. Often, the only way to not feel those things is to help out.” She leans back against the velvety cushion.
Veronica leans forward, her eyes searching hers. “Why aren’t you helping out? Why isn’t Sam? Why don’t more people ‘help’?”
“Why I’m not helping…is because I have nobody to connect to. Lilly and I have something in common, but unlike her family and friends, mine don’t know I was killed.” She tucks an ash colored strand behind her ear.
“You were murdered.”
“Shot in the stomach. But it was ruled as a suicide.” She points to her burgundy sash and Veronica grazes her fingertips over the scarf on her head.
“What about Sam then? He said he couldn’t tell me how he died.”
“That’s because Sam wasn’t murdered.” Veronica lets out a heavy breath she didn’t realize she had been holding. “He still has feelings, but those are different than mine and Lilly’s.”
“So I’m just supposed to wait up here then? I can’t do anything?” She squints and tears fall down her cheeks.
Charlotte reaches out and places her hand over Veronica’s and the warmth calms her.
*
Lilly finishes her breakfast as Mr. Mars appears from his room. “I’m heading out, kiddo. I’ll be back Monday.” He kisses her forehead and grabs his briefcase from the kitchen counter.
“Now, no parties, no booze, no drugs, no boys.” He ticks off his fingers with each one and she rolls her eyes.
“Dad, you know I only do that during the week, when I'm skipping school,” she says, smiling and chewing at the same time. He rushes past Backup, patting him on the head and walking out the door.
Lilly walks to the window and as soon as Keith pulls out, she grabs Veronica’s keys from the table and runs to her car, squealing out as she takes off.
It takes her a bit to realize how to get there from Veronica’s apartment, and the fact that she’s trying to use Veronica’s cell while driving doesn’t make it any easier. She places the phone to her ear. “Benzie County mortuary, please.” She waits for a minute and then continues. “Hi, my name is Lilly, I’m from Sheriff Blanch’s office, I was wondering if you could fax over the autopsy reports for a Charlotte Clark, June 1992. Yeah, we’ve received new information. Thanks.”
She hangs up and realizes she’s at the beach and then it only takes her a couple minutes to reach her house. She parks down the street from it and walks to the gates. She pulls a couple of cinder blocks from the bushes (they’re still there! Duncan always wondered how she snuck it without their parents noticing) and climbs on them and over the fence. Lilly knows her parents are gone at the Napa house for the weekend so she keys in the code and opens the door, disabling the alarm before it goes off.
The house looks exactly like it did before she died with the clean straight lines of the foyer and the hideous painting of a sunset that greeted everyone when they arrived. She brushes her fingers over the vase that rests on a marble tabletop when she walks past. She climbs the stairs, her stomach fluttering with each step. She reaches her room and opens the door, peaking her head in. It looks the same and she smiles because she really thought her parent’s might make it their personal workout room. It really does surprise her.
She walks to her vanity and touches the pictures stuck to the side of the mirror. She pulls one of her, Logan, Veronica and Duncan at homecoming. She brushes her fingers over each person and then puts it back. She opens the drawer, pulling out a small screwdriver and moves the bench to stand on it. She reaches towards the vent, about to open it when she hears someone talking.
“The party is at your place at 8? Is Logan gonna be there?” It’s Duncan. She could recognize his voice even if it had been 10 years since she heard it. “Well, I guess I’ve gotta face him sometime. See ya.” She hears the phone shut and footsteps coming towards her. She opens the vent and reaches her hand in, moving it around, not feeling anything. “Crap,” she whispers, her face scowling, realizing that what she is looking for isn’t there.
She hears the door slowly creak open and before she can hide, she sees Duncan standing in the doorway. Her face crumples and her eyes start to water.
“Veronica, what the hell are you doing here?” Duncan asks her, anger etched on his face. She looks down for a minute because she almost forgot that she actually is Veronica.
“Duncan…” she begins to plead.
“I can’t believe you would come in here. In her room after everything you’ve done!” She climbs off the chair and starts towards him.
“Let me explain.” She reaches out to touch him and he pulls back. She pulls her hands back and bites her thumbnail.
“I don’t know what you are doing here, but either way it’s breaking and entering. I should probably call the sheriff,” he says, menacingly, crossing his arms over his chest.
“Duncan, please,” she pleads and the tears are rolling down her cheeks, falling to the floor before she can wipe them away. He looks at her and his face softens with her tears. “I know you didn’t do it. I’m so sorry,” she apologizes, not for Veronica’s accusations; really she’s not that sure of what she is apologizing for, maybe for being reckless and dying.
“I think you should leave,” he says, his voice so small that she can barely hear him.
“Okay,” her gaze falls to the floor and she starts to brush past him, but abruptly stops, throwing her arms around him, hugging him tight. He’s surprised at first, but then he wraps his arms around her and buries his head in her hair. He closes his eyes because the tears are starting to form, but then she pulls away and runs out of the house, opening the front gate and running to Veronica’s car, sobs racking her body with each step.
*
Veronica and Charlotte have been sitting in silence, Veronica’s head resting on her hands, Charlotte’s leg fidgeting under the table.
Veronica lifts her head. “So, I really just have to wait?” Charlotte nods her head and Veronica exhales loudly. “You can’t tell me anything? Give me any clues?”
“You know Veronica, sometimes the biggest clues are the ones you find when you aren’t even looking.”
Veronica scoffs and rests her chin on her palm, looking out the window.
“She said you were stubborn.” With that, Veronica looks directly at her, eyebrows furrowed. “In a good way,” she adds. There is a long pause, Veronica trying to decide if she should ask this question, if she wants to know the answer.
She decides she needs to know. “She’s doing okay, right?” she squeaks.
“Definitely. She understands that there are better things ahead than what was left behind. It took a little bit, but she’s realized it.” Veronica squirms, suddenly uncomfortable and feeling very drowsy.
“You look tired, maybe you should rest for awhile,” Charlotte recommends. Veronica’s head feels very heavy and she rests it on the table, murmuring an agreement. Charlotte brings her hand up to brush the hair out of her face.
*
After driving around for awhile to clear her head she pulls up down the street from the Echoll's mansion. It’s after 8 and she figures Logan must be gone, which makes it the perfect time to get what she needs. She rings the bell and Aaron answers. She shivers and asks him to buzz her in.
Aaron is waiting for her at the door and places his hand on the small of her back, leading her in and she wants to shake him off her, but she doesn’t want to be suspicious.
“I think I left my cell phone in Logan’s room,” she explains. “I swear I’ll just be a second.”
“No problem,” he says, walking backwards to the kitchen. “I’m making some dinner if you’d like to have some when you’re finished.”
“Thanks.” She responds, a fake smile plastered across her face.
“I’ll be in here if you need anything.” He points to the kitchen. She makes her way up the stairs and walks past Logan’s room. Looking around to make sure Aaron didn’t follow her, and after realizing the coast is clear, she ducks into Aaron’s bedroom.
She feels like throwing up when she walks in and the smell of Aaron lingers in the air. Either that or running downstairs, punching him, screaming at him; but she knows that it won’t help anything if she does. She searches his room for awhile, finding nothing except for a few girly magazines when she notices a small vent on the floor. She bends down and peers in but can’t see anything. She looks around for a screwdriver, she always kept one near her vent and she knows Logan does too, but comes up empty in her search. She pulls a bobby pin out of her hair and starts to unscrew it with that. Thankfully, the screws weren’t in tightly and she opens the vent, pushing her hand inside, feeling for them. She pulls out the tapes, as she hears the door open behind her.
“Hello Veronica.” Aaron leers over her, his face contorted in an evil grin. “Find what you were looking for?”
She doesn’t know which option to take, lie and pretend like she has no idea what he is talking about or tell him he knows exactly what he did. She decides to go with the latter.
“I know you did it.” She says coolly, standing to her feet, the tapes behind her back.
“I will admit it Veronica, I thought you would have found out sooner. Guess you aren’t as smart as you think you are.” He steps towards her and she steps back, her back pressed against the wall.
“You’d like to believe that, wouldn’t you? That some 17 year old girl isn’t smarter than you, but I hate to break it to you, I am.” She points to herself and he smirks.
“You know,” he laughs, “Lilly was in love with me. I had her wrapped around my little finger.” He lifts up his index finger.
She scoffs. “Please! She was using you for the thrill!” She throws her arms up beside her and he grabs them, pinning her to the wall, taking her a little off guard.
“Shut up, you little bitch. I’ve killed once, I’m not afraid to do it again.” He sneers and she can feel his spit hitting her face when he talks.
“Ewwww, think you could quit spraying me? God!” He pins her harder and she gasps.
“Lilly liked it rough too.” Okay, now she really wants to throw up. He wiggles his eyebrows at her and she knees him in the groin. He falls to the ground and she runs out of the room. She can hear him behind her; can hear his panting and his heavy footsteps and she picks up speed as she reaches the stairs.
“Wanna know how I did it, Veronica? How I killed her?” He asks teasing her, his voice getting louder and closer.
She starts down the stairs, looking back for a second. “You’re a freak! You killed Lilly!” She whips her head back around and loses her footing and tumbles down the stairs. She hears another familiar voice and then everything fades to black.
*
Veronica’s vision is hazed and she struggles to adjust her eyes. Her head is pounding and she rubs her forehead. She’s at Lilly’s grave. She stands and looks at it, light rain sprinkling over her. She brushes her hand over the top of the casket that has not been placed in the ground yet and notices that she has two flowers in her hand, red roses, one shorter but blooming out in all directions and the other taller and partially closed. Tiny raindrops stick to the petals and she sets them down on the casket. She closes her eyes and someone walks up beside her.
It’s Aaron and she remembers this. She remembers how weird he was acting after Lilly’s death and the bizarre conversation he had with her the day of her funeral. There’s silence for a minute and Veronica feels the pit in her stomach getting bigger.
“She was a good girl,” he says, keeping his eyes on the casket.
“Yeah, she was.” She says quietly.
“You guys were best friends, huh?”
“Yeah,” she says, even softer. He hands her his scarlet satin handkerchief and when she takes it, this time she notices how much it looks like blood, blood on his hands. She wipes her eyes.
“You guys probably told each other everything, huh?” He’s looking at her now and she looks up at him.
“Not everything,” she says, but she doesn’t remember saying that, she only remembers him walking away, looking back for a second and giving her an encouraging smile.
She closes her eyes, her head throbbing even more and she’s starting to lose her balance. She can see things, hear things…
The carwash. “I’ve got a secret, a good one.”
Charlotte. “You know Veronica, sometimes the biggest clues are the ones you find when you aren’t even looking.”
Sam. “Lilly said you needed to cry. That you don’t let yourself enough. ‘Specially when you get to the breaking point.”
Charlotte. “The rules are important because if we don’t follow them, including Lilly, then the switch back won’t happen. You’ll be in it for the long haul.”
She can see her tank top, the AE embroidered on it. She can see Sam kicking his shoes together and the way his Adidas socks fell just right so all she could see was the A and the big E on his Etnies shoes.
Veronica opens her eyes and she’s still in the cemetery. She can hear Sam giggling and can see Charlotte’s flowing white dress. They are running around an open area and she runs over to them, but stops short when she sees who is with them. She’s laughing with them, her eyes sparkling and she stops and looks at Veronica. Veronica quickly walks over to them and Lilly starts towards Veronica as well.
“Hey there, Veronica Mars,” she says, the words rolling off her tongue, when she reaches her. She tucks a stray strand of Veronica’s hair behind her ear.
“I miss you,” Veronica says, her eyes glistening. Lilly starts to walk around her and Veronica turns with her, her vision blurring just like the windows on the train.
“Be careful,” Lilly says, swallowing the lump in her throat. She smiles and continues walking around Veronica. She pulls the crimson scarf off her head and it flows behind her. Veronica turns with her until she can’t see anything but white.
*
Veronica’s head is pounding as she opens her eyes. She doesn’t know where she is and when she looks around she realizes she’s in the Echoll’s house, at the bottom of the stairs to be exact. She touches her head and looks at her blood stained fingers.
She moves to sit up but the pain is too much. She notices her chest, realizing her boobs are back to normal. She touches her hair and realizes she is back in her body. She hears him scuffing across the floor and she lies flat, closing her eyes. She can feel him looming over her, can see his shadow next to her, something in his hands over his head. He bends slightly getting ready to hit her and she rolls over, screaming.
“Veronica, let’s not make this harder than it should be.” He says calmly. She struggles to sit up when he bends down closer to her. “Lilly just laid there and let me do whatever I wanted, including bash her skull in.” He picks up the statue and shakes it towards her. He stands and brings it over his head again. She tries to stand when she hears a familiar voice. The statue falls to the ground next to her and then she can see Aaron and Logan fighting on the ground.
She crawls to the phone that sits on a small table and dials 911, nothing but sobbing comes out. She drops the phone when she sees that Aaron has Logan pinned to the floor and is reaching for the statue. He’s got it in his hands when she grunts and stands up, jumping on Aaron’s back.
He flails around with her on him and drops the statue. He swings around, sending her to the ground. Logan stands, grabs the statue and walks towards his father, his eyes cold and threatening.
“Logan, come on, son. It’s not supposed to be like this,” he says, his arms opening to him.
Logan laughs and Veronica hears sirens approaching. “That’s a line from one of your stupid piece of shit movies!”
Aaron cocks his head to the side. “I tried,” he shrugs.
Logan finally acknowledges Veronica and motions to her. “Veronica, get over here.” She stands and hobbles over to him. Logan stares at his father, his jaw set. “I should kill you.” Veronica looks at Logan’s face and feels scared again.
“Logan,” she pleads, trying to get his attention, but it’s focused on his father. He pulls the statue over his head and steps towards his father when they hear knocking at the door.
“Police, open up!” a voice says from the other side. Veronica walks over and unlocks the door as Logan drops the statue. The short time after that becomes a blur of arresting and questions and accusations. Logan won’t look at her when they are in the ambulance and she’s too exhausted to say anything.
*
It’s been a week since the showdown with Aaron. The police found the tapes near the stairs and with Veronica and Logan’s eyewitness account, they arrested Aaron for the murder of Lilly Kane.
Veronica sits on the couch, flipping through the channels. Her father has kept a tight leash on her, that’s for sure, but she’s getting antsy and tells him she needs some air. She pulls on her shoes and her dad grabs the remote and flips through the channels. He stops on the news and she looks up.
“Thirteen years ago, Charlotte Clark, 32, of Michigan died from a gunshot wound to her stomach. The police ruled it as a suicide, but after an anonymous tip the police received last week, the case has been reopened. After re-examining the autopsy report, the police report that there is no possible way she could have shot herself and that the sheriff at the time, now Judge Greg Roland, had a hand in covering up the murder.”
Her mouth drops and her father looks at her. “You okay?” he asks.
She smiles and nods.
She drives to the house, the house that used to have fun memories of the four of them in the pool, playing games, but is now tainted with blood and bruises and fear.
He lets her in, she doesn’t expect him to let her in so easily, but when he closes the door behind her, she can see everything looks the same as it did that night.
He plops down on the couch grabbing the video game controller and she stands there, a small white bag in her hands.
“You just gonna stand there?” he asks. She walks over broken glass and sits next to him. He pauses the game and drops the controller to his lap, avoiding her gaze.
“I’m so so sorry, Logan,” she says, quietly. He doesn’t respond so she continues. “When he was about to…I…” she chokes and he looks at her, but then she averts her eyes. There’s a pause until he points to the bag.
“What’s in the bag?”
“Take-out. From Romero’s. I thought you might be hungry.” He stares into her eyes and she can feel them burning. She can’t cry right now, she won’t let herself. He brings his hand up to her forehead, smoothing out the bandage on it.
“He’s branded you too,” he whispers. She grabs his other hand in hers and strums her fingers on his palm. He pulls her into his arms and she exhales. He buries his head in her hair. “Thanks for saving me,” he says into her shoulder.
“Thanks for saving me,” she says, lightly laughing.