[Talking Muses] Hallucination [5C]

Sep 08, 2006 03:39

After Lilly died, I still saw her all the time. I never told anybody about it, not even my dad - it just would’ve worried him and I probably would have ended up in therapy. Besides. I never figured that it was all that strange. I assumed that even members of the psychiatric community wouldn’t find it entirely unreasonable that my dead best friend would appear constantly, that she would make wisecracks and flip her hair just like she’d never been murdered.

It’s not like I didn’t know it was all in my head. Part of it, I think, was my own guilt, spurring me on to find her killer and bring him to justice. Mostly, I think I just missed my best friend. Once she - or, well, my hallucination of Lilly - told me that her soul was doomed to walk the earth until justice had been served. I don’t know if that was true or not, but I’ve often wondered if I let that get in the way of my investigation. If I maybe let my hallucinations hold me back because I wanted to keep Lilly with me for a little while longer.

Now I don’t think so. Not really, anyway. I always knew that she wasn’t really there and that nothing was going to bring her back and that I was doing all I could do for her by just finding the person who’d taken her away from me. But it’s been something to think about.

Besides, Lilly hasn’t left me. Part of her is always going to be with me, looking out for me. Preventing me from ending up like she did. And that’s real.

Muse: Veronica Mars
Fandom: Veronica Mars
Word Count: 277

talking muses

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