"Break out the frozen peas, Sandburg."
"Hey, Jim, the game's just about to start--wow, what happened to your eye?"
"Nothing." Rustle, rustle. "Where are the frozen peas?"
"We ate them. There's some okra in there, though."
"Okra? Why the hell do we have frozen okra?"
"Because we're out of peas. So, how'd you get the shiner?"
"Look, it's not a big deal, okay?"
"Yeah, sure I know it's not, because the only hour of this day that you and I haven't spent together was when you went to the gym after work. Now, unless there was an armed robbery at the bank next door or the gym was overrun by terrorists shouting anti-spandex slogans--"
"You're not going to shut up until I tell you what happened, are you?"
"Nah, you don't have to tell me."
"What are you doing?"
"Calling Manny."
"Manny the gym manager?"
"One and the same."
"Yeah, I don't think so."
Grab. Tickle. Giggle...silence. Happy sigh, contented rumble.
"Okay, okay, you win. I'll get Manny's version later. So tell me how you got a black eye before we miss the first pitch."
"Mumblebicepcurlwasn'tpayingattentionmumble."
"What was that?"
Louder, less happy sigh. "I was working the bicep curl machine and I wasn't paying attention and I whacked myself in the face. You happy?"
"Snorfle."
"Sandburg?"
"Yeah? Snorfle."
"You laughing at me?"
"It would never occur to me to laugh at you, Jim."
"You're a really bad liar, Chief."
"That makes two of us."
Yeah, so, somehow, I managed to get distracted today and yes, I did whack myself in the face with a heavy piece of workout equipment. The eye - actually, the space beneath it, toward my temple - is more red and lumpy than black and blue. The swelling has already subsided quite a bit, so I'm assuming that there will be no evidence in the morning. What a dork.
"Nothing." Rustle, rustle. "Where are the frozen peas?"
"We ate them. There's some okra in there, though."
"Okra? Why the hell do we have frozen okra?"
"Because we're out of peas. So, how'd you get the shiner?"
"Look, it's not a big deal, okay?"
"Yeah, sure I know it's not, because the only hour of this day that you and I haven't spent together was when you went to the gym after work. Now, unless there was an armed robbery at the bank next door or the gym was overrun by terrorists shouting anti-spandex slogans--"
"You're not going to shut up until I tell you what happened, are you?"
"Nah, you don't have to tell me."
"What are you doing?"
"Calling Manny."
"Manny the gym manager?"
"One and the same."
"Yeah, I don't think so."
Grab. Tickle. Giggle...silence. Happy sigh, contented rumble.
"Okay, okay, you win. I'll get Manny's version later. So tell me how you got a black eye before we miss the first pitch."
"Mumblebicepcurlwasn'tpayingattentionmumble."
"What was that?"
Louder, less happy sigh. "I was working the bicep curl machine and I wasn't paying attention and I whacked myself in the face. You happy?"
"Snorfle."
"Sandburg?"
"Yeah? Snorfle."
"You laughing at me?"
"It would never occur to me to laugh at you, Jim."
"You're a really bad liar, Chief."
"That makes two of us."
Yeah, so, somehow, I managed to get distracted today and yes, I did whack myself in the face with a heavy piece of workout equipment. The eye - actually, the space beneath it, toward my temple - is more red and lumpy than black and blue. The swelling has already subsided quite a bit, so I'm assuming that there will be no evidence in the morning. What a dork.