learning how to track down others in the same tribe
When I was 12, I came across Grandma's Jackie Collins and Sidney Sheldon novels while searching for something else to read. She taught me to read at a very young age, and between the small local public library, her bookshelves, and school, I advanced in my material quickly - from Ramona and Beezus and Judy Blume at 6 and 7, through Erma Bombeck and Dave Barry as I neared my teens but almost-not-quite-yet into Stephen King. Finding the romance novels was quite enlightening; my family was not good at "the talk," and while I was lucky enough that our small school did offer a short sex education course, that did nothing to cover the fun part of it.
I soon learned there was a difference between romance novels and romance with adventure; Collins and Sheldon had their own cheese factor, but those thick tomes were more action-oriented than the slim Harlequins on Grandma's shelves. Plus, the sex was a little more adventurous and ... educational, let's say, for a pre-adolescent's reading. Between those and finding Dad's "hidden" stash of Hustlers and Playboys, I taught myself what movies and TV shows hinted at but our society was too prudish to really explain to kids that age struggling to learn everything they'll need to navigate the world wisely in just a few short years.
For a time in college I dated a guy, but it eventually ended and I wasn't as upset about it as I felt like I should probably have been. I had no problem accepting I was happier as a single adult than married or even dating, but it was the early 90s, and it would be many years before I heard the terms "asexual" and "aromantic" and understood it was normal for some adults to not be that invested in their own love lives.
Fictional characters, however, were another story. I liked stories that featured a woman and a man getting together and having a happy ending after a series of adventures, be they serious or screwball (depending on the writer). I've mentioned before that I tried emulating these stories, starting when I was about 13 or 14 - but they were either laughable or pathetic efforts, depending how you view them and when. At the time, of course, I thought they were quite worldly and highly representative of the kind of relationship I might want someday. Also, sexy fun times.
When I started writing fanfic years later in college, I began with humor, and eased my way into the romantic stuff as I felt more comfortable reading other people's stories in 'zines and photocopies, and college intramail. Those early stories were only for my reading, and that of a few fandom friends I knew had interest in TNG; it was nothing I would have turned in for a class or creative writing project.
My first Star Trek convention was in St. Louis, where I had the chance to meet actors including the one behind my favorite character: Brent Spiner. I remember him being patient and charming, and quite sincerely trying to answer as many questions as the crowd put to him, and I really thought seeing him would be the highlight of my time at the convention. Instead, it was running into other fans who liked not only Data as much as I did, but Data/Tasha. I met a fan artist and fic writer, and some of her admirers/friends; I remember us sitting around in a circle on the carpeted floor outside the ballroom off to the side in the hotel lobby, showing one another 'zines and talking about our favorite episodes, possible plot points for fanfic, and Data/Tasha moments. It was great fun - but more important, these were people I never would have met in the small, rural town where I grew up, and viewpoints I hadn't heard before.
I didn't realize until a couple of years later what was really remarkable about that long conversation was the fact slash pairings never came up once ... because I only found out same-sex fanfic and art actually existed when I saw a piece of fan art that threw me for a loop later on.
I soon learned there was a difference between romance novels and romance with adventure; Collins and Sheldon had their own cheese factor, but those thick tomes were more action-oriented than the slim Harlequins on Grandma's shelves. Plus, the sex was a little more adventurous and ... educational, let's say, for a pre-adolescent's reading. Between those and finding Dad's "hidden" stash of Hustlers and Playboys, I taught myself what movies and TV shows hinted at but our society was too prudish to really explain to kids that age struggling to learn everything they'll need to navigate the world wisely in just a few short years.
For a time in college I dated a guy, but it eventually ended and I wasn't as upset about it as I felt like I should probably have been. I had no problem accepting I was happier as a single adult than married or even dating, but it was the early 90s, and it would be many years before I heard the terms "asexual" and "aromantic" and understood it was normal for some adults to not be that invested in their own love lives.
Fictional characters, however, were another story. I liked stories that featured a woman and a man getting together and having a happy ending after a series of adventures, be they serious or screwball (depending on the writer). I've mentioned before that I tried emulating these stories, starting when I was about 13 or 14 - but they were either laughable or pathetic efforts, depending how you view them and when. At the time, of course, I thought they were quite worldly and highly representative of the kind of relationship I might want someday. Also, sexy fun times.
When I started writing fanfic years later in college, I began with humor, and eased my way into the romantic stuff as I felt more comfortable reading other people's stories in 'zines and photocopies, and college intramail. Those early stories were only for my reading, and that of a few fandom friends I knew had interest in TNG; it was nothing I would have turned in for a class or creative writing project.
My first Star Trek convention was in St. Louis, where I had the chance to meet actors including the one behind my favorite character: Brent Spiner. I remember him being patient and charming, and quite sincerely trying to answer as many questions as the crowd put to him, and I really thought seeing him would be the highlight of my time at the convention. Instead, it was running into other fans who liked not only Data as much as I did, but Data/Tasha. I met a fan artist and fic writer, and some of her admirers/friends; I remember us sitting around in a circle on the carpeted floor outside the ballroom off to the side in the hotel lobby, showing one another 'zines and talking about our favorite episodes, possible plot points for fanfic, and Data/Tasha moments. It was great fun - but more important, these were people I never would have met in the small, rural town where I grew up, and viewpoints I hadn't heard before.
I didn't realize until a couple of years later what was really remarkable about that long conversation was the fact slash pairings never came up once ... because I only found out same-sex fanfic and art actually existed when I saw a piece of fan art that threw me for a loop later on.