Why?
She sat down at the table and tried to stop the tears from puddling down on the table.
It was over.
She was 40 years old, she had 2 kids, no job and was about to be coping with this all on her own.
She wasn't interested in the coffee in front of her, all she could think about were the years ahead.
Lonely years crawling by filled with struggle and loneliness.
Who would want to take on a woman who's kids weren't going to graduate high school till she was 56?
While most of her friends were preparing for their kids high school graduations, she was changing nappies and going through childhood firsts.
It wasn't meant to be like this!
She was meant to be married, happy, and enjoying this stage of her life.
Instead she was an unmarried mother of 2 pre-schoolers, who was looking at a lifetime of struggle and tears.
Where did it all go wrong?
Why wasn't she enough?
Why was it so easy for everyone to use her until they got what they wanted, and then discard her?
She waited till the kids were asleep at night till she allowed herself to fall apart. She couldn't let them suffer anymore than they already were. She filled those hours with cleaning and mindless television, but when there was nothing more to distract herself it always came back to this moment.
The torment of the failure her life would become.
It was over.
She was 40 years old, she had 2 kids, no job and was about to be coping with this all on her own.
She wasn't interested in the coffee in front of her, all she could think about were the years ahead.
Lonely years crawling by filled with struggle and loneliness.
Who would want to take on a woman who's kids weren't going to graduate high school till she was 56?
While most of her friends were preparing for their kids high school graduations, she was changing nappies and going through childhood firsts.
It wasn't meant to be like this!
She was meant to be married, happy, and enjoying this stage of her life.
Instead she was an unmarried mother of 2 pre-schoolers, who was looking at a lifetime of struggle and tears.
Where did it all go wrong?
Why wasn't she enough?
Why was it so easy for everyone to use her until they got what they wanted, and then discard her?
She waited till the kids were asleep at night till she allowed herself to fall apart. She couldn't let them suffer anymore than they already were. She filled those hours with cleaning and mindless television, but when there was nothing more to distract herself it always came back to this moment.
The torment of the failure her life would become.