oh, the confusion
I've had quite a strange, yet awesome week.
I had my senior recital on friday night!! Although I didn't perform quite as well as I think I could have, I was really feeling the music and for the first time, I was truly proud of myself after a performance. I didn't cringe, I didn't agonize, and I feel like I really showed my audience a great deal of what I am capable of doing as a singer. The turnout wasn't quite as good as I had hoped, but most of the people who are very important to me were there. And surprisingly, there were a few people who I didn't expect, that seemed to really enjoy it! Matt Jacobs and Nick are my boys, and they really showed the love by being there, in the first row, just as they had promised. Brian and Matt Ostrach were with them too, which was really cool. I saw Brian closing his eyes, smiling, and really feeling the music. I almost had a heart attack when I got out on stage, and realized that Aunt Diane was there. I haven't seen her in at least four or five years, and she seemed like a ghost to me. I love her so much though, and we have always been kindred spirits. She doesn't have any children of her own, and has kind of adopted me, and always been there. When I saw her afterwards, we both started crying because we could both feel how much I have grown, and how much we love each other. Grandpa (Duncan) was also there, and had flown up from Florida. Wow. I was so touched.
I love my music friends here sooooooooo much, and I think it is awesome that a department can bring us all so close together. Jeremy, Laura, Graham, Sam, Greg, Brenna, Tom, Jenny, Connor....this sounds sooo fucking cheesy, but they are like my family here. Yay.
Perhaps the group that tugs on my heart strings the most that was there was the ConnChords. They weren't all there (don't even get me started on that...it was really telling of who actually cares to see who wasn't there and didn't even explain...ahem...Kate Owens and Ellen), but the ones who were were amazingly supportive. It was really cool to be able to show them my "Thing" that they knew I did, but didn't necessarily understand. I could tell that Amanda especially was taken aback. I saw her smiling and then crying throughout the concert, and it was sooooooo cool to see that it touched them and that they were impressed. Not that I need them to think "ohhhh...she's sooooo amazing", but I wanted them to understand what it is that I do and am passionate about.
OK, and (Laura, don't laugh at me too hard if you read this) I am officially infatuated with Laura's friend Stu (who she went to HS with...he goes to Union and YES of course he has a girlfriend). He came to one of my a cappella concerts before and I just thought he was ridiculously attractive, but after this recital I am totally obsessed. The thing is, I don't know exactly why! He just....gave me this...LOOK during and after the concert. I don't want to say it was admiration, exactly, though I was really touched when Laura told me he asked about BUYING one of my CDs. It was a look that had so much power and sexiness in it, that I almost passed out. At my reception, I was surrounded by people and talking to all of them, and I caught him standing by himself, just STARING at me with that look. AHHHH....I know he has this girlfriend, and maybe I am just being a crazy person, but I have to go for him. He friended me on facebook pretty quickly, so that says something, right? Here's my plan: I will talk to him on facebook/IM, and become friends with him. Then I will seduce him somehow. Hahaha...what a detailed and clever plan, huh? OK, I know that sounds wrong, and maybe I am being unrealistic, but I am not this instantly and strongly obsessed with someone very often. I have to try.
Things with Hunter are confusing...I'll write about him coming and floralia in my next entry....
I had my senior recital on friday night!! Although I didn't perform quite as well as I think I could have, I was really feeling the music and for the first time, I was truly proud of myself after a performance. I didn't cringe, I didn't agonize, and I feel like I really showed my audience a great deal of what I am capable of doing as a singer. The turnout wasn't quite as good as I had hoped, but most of the people who are very important to me were there. And surprisingly, there were a few people who I didn't expect, that seemed to really enjoy it! Matt Jacobs and Nick are my boys, and they really showed the love by being there, in the first row, just as they had promised. Brian and Matt Ostrach were with them too, which was really cool. I saw Brian closing his eyes, smiling, and really feeling the music. I almost had a heart attack when I got out on stage, and realized that Aunt Diane was there. I haven't seen her in at least four or five years, and she seemed like a ghost to me. I love her so much though, and we have always been kindred spirits. She doesn't have any children of her own, and has kind of adopted me, and always been there. When I saw her afterwards, we both started crying because we could both feel how much I have grown, and how much we love each other. Grandpa (Duncan) was also there, and had flown up from Florida. Wow. I was so touched.
I love my music friends here sooooooooo much, and I think it is awesome that a department can bring us all so close together. Jeremy, Laura, Graham, Sam, Greg, Brenna, Tom, Jenny, Connor....this sounds sooo fucking cheesy, but they are like my family here. Yay.
Perhaps the group that tugs on my heart strings the most that was there was the ConnChords. They weren't all there (don't even get me started on that...it was really telling of who actually cares to see who wasn't there and didn't even explain...ahem...Kate Owens and Ellen), but the ones who were were amazingly supportive. It was really cool to be able to show them my "Thing" that they knew I did, but didn't necessarily understand. I could tell that Amanda especially was taken aback. I saw her smiling and then crying throughout the concert, and it was sooooooo cool to see that it touched them and that they were impressed. Not that I need them to think "ohhhh...she's sooooo amazing", but I wanted them to understand what it is that I do and am passionate about.
OK, and (Laura, don't laugh at me too hard if you read this) I am officially infatuated with Laura's friend Stu (who she went to HS with...he goes to Union and YES of course he has a girlfriend). He came to one of my a cappella concerts before and I just thought he was ridiculously attractive, but after this recital I am totally obsessed. The thing is, I don't know exactly why! He just....gave me this...LOOK during and after the concert. I don't want to say it was admiration, exactly, though I was really touched when Laura told me he asked about BUYING one of my CDs. It was a look that had so much power and sexiness in it, that I almost passed out. At my reception, I was surrounded by people and talking to all of them, and I caught him standing by himself, just STARING at me with that look. AHHHH....I know he has this girlfriend, and maybe I am just being a crazy person, but I have to go for him. He friended me on facebook pretty quickly, so that says something, right? Here's my plan: I will talk to him on facebook/IM, and become friends with him. Then I will seduce him somehow. Hahaha...what a detailed and clever plan, huh? OK, I know that sounds wrong, and maybe I am being unrealistic, but I am not this instantly and strongly obsessed with someone very often. I have to try.
Things with Hunter are confusing...I'll write about him coming and floralia in my next entry....