Lucky Sidefic
For chanyeolanda: the "omg what am i doing" chang.joe bathroom scene
"Hey, big guy."
"Hey."
Byunghun leans against the wall and slides down to sit beside Changjo. "Your pizza's getting cold. We can microwave it but it won't be the same. I know you hate chewy crusts." Changjo snorts, a small sound like he's trying to keep it in, but Byunghun supposes it's as good a reaction as any. "Nothing I can do about the soda, though. Junhyung snarled at me when I told him to set some aside for you."
Changjo doesn't answer. Byunghun breathes deep, rests a shoulder against Changjo's as the latter curls up into himself even more, hides behind his crossed arms.
"Junhyung's a soda fiend," Changjo says after a while. "Bigger than I am."
They lapse into silence, Byunghun tapping his nails against the bathroom floor tiles, the sharp clicks echoing softly.
"What's all this about?" Byunghun asks when he feels that Changjo isn't going to say anything. "I'm sorry for not knowing, you know how I'm always so out of the loop. I can be so dumb sometimes."
"Stop putting yourself down," Changjo murmurs. "You're not dumb. You're just. Spacey. Inattentive."
Byunghun grins. Lays an arm across Changjo's shoulders and pulls him closer, awkward as it was; Changjo's shoulders were wide, almost too wide for Byunghun to comfort. "You're my best friend. You know that's why I burden you, right?"
"Yeah. I know."
"So if I ask what's happening, it's because I'm really concerned. And I have no idea what's happening. I don't like not knowing what's bothering my best friend." Byunghun feels Changjo almost pull away, almost shrink into himself, but Byunghun stops him with soft rubs of his fingertips. "Come on. Tell me."
That, at least, pulls some of Changjo out, even if it's just a short puff of irritation. "You know I'm moody, just leave me alone, this will pass."
"Nope," Byunghun answers cheerfully, "not going anywhere. I like it here."
"In Yun's bathroom?"
"That, too, he keeps it cleaner than ours. You should ask him over more often, maybe he'll clean our place."
That's draws a full laugh, short-lived though it was. "My boyfriend is not our personal cleaning lady."
"I'm just saying," Byunghun teases. "Our place is a mess compared to his."
"Yeah. He's too good for me. I don't deserve him."
"Now who's being dumb?" Byunghun pinches Changjo's shoulder, too soft to hurt but hard enough to mean business. "If you missed all the signs, it doesn't look like Yun's going away either. Looks like he's here to stay."
"A lot of people say that," Changjo grumbles. "But they leave anyway. Where are they now?"
There's really nothing Byunghun can say to that, he knows it's true enough. But maybe that's not the problem. "Doesn't mean they didn't mean it when they said it. People change. We all know that."
"Yeah. People change." The surprise is that somehow, this causes Changjo to unwind an arm and pull Byunghun closer, leans his head against Byunghun's like they've had too much eggnog. "It's usually not their fault."
"What do you mean?"
"Maybe they change because they don't like what they see," Changjo says. There's a dangerous flatness in his voice. A deadly form of acceptance. "Maybe they leave because they don't learn that they don't like me after all."
"Still being dumb, I see," Byunghun teases. "I'm still here. And so is Junhyung. And we know way too much about you already."
"That's 'cause you're idiots." Changjo pinches Byunghun on the cheek, half-hearted but hey, small actions count. "You should have left when you had the chance."
"Junhyung's pretty smart, come on. And I'm really persistent. I can cling to someone like damn."
"I can be good at pushing people away. It won't be the first time." Changjo laughs. This time isn't so good, all bitterness in the melody. "I've had a lot of practice."
"I don't think I'm going anywhere," Byunghun insists. "I mean, knowing too much about you is more than enough; I don't want to go through that again with anyone else."
"Is that so?"
"Of course. But."
"But?" Changjo's breath hitches. Buts aren't usually good.
Byunghun pulls free of Changjo's arms and stands up. Grabs Changjo's hand and pulls him to his feet, a token effort because Changjo's too heavy for Byunghun unless Changjo goes along. Which he does this time. "You should also give us a fair chance to live up to it. Don't just assume that we'll leave. And no pushing us away when you think we're getting tired of you. Because it's irritating, yes, and we're both going to lose out on each other's awesomeness. Okay?"
Changjo keeps his eyes on the floor. "Okay. Fair chance. Okay."
"Say it like you mean it, come on." Byunghun taps the side of Changjo's face. "Look at me in the eyes like a man."
Changjo's short, sharp breaths could have been full laughter during happier times, but hey, this is already pretty good. He raises his head, although it doesn't take much for him to catch Byunghun's eyes. "I'm screwed up in the head, aren't I?"
"A bit, yeah," Byunghun agrees. "But we love you anyway. Yun's got it bad if I'm any judge."
"I'll work on it," Changjo promises him. "I- it can take a bit of time, okay, and I can be a jerk."
"That's not a surprise." Byunghun opens his arms wide but doesn't move in, lets Changjo come closer on his own. Because some decisions, no matter how small, need to be owned. "We'll be around. Just don't let us feel like you don't want us around, okay? We're not saints."
Changjo's laugh is a bit fuller this time, small steps to feeling good again, something Byunghun feels as Changjo presses them together tighter. "Yeah. You guys love me. I believe you. Even if I don't know why."
"We don't know, either. Now come on, the pizza's getting cold. And there are people out there waiting to see you out there. I don't think Yun's willing to rent his bathroom out as your new room and I've already gotten used to living with you, okay?"
"Yeah. Fine. Fine."
Changjo plasters a smile on his face as Byunghun opens the door.
"Pizza's goddamn frozen already, you big baby," Junhyung gripes, which earns him a loving punch on the shoulder. "There's no soda left but Yun has a few beers in his fridge."
"You okay?" Yun asks lightly, enough to mask the worry.
"Yeah, I'll be okay."
"Want to stay the night?"
Changjo glances at Byunghun, who's busy having his hair ruffled by a very relieved Chunji. "I'd like that."
"Hey, big guy."
"Hey."
Byunghun leans against the wall and slides down to sit beside Changjo. "Your pizza's getting cold. We can microwave it but it won't be the same. I know you hate chewy crusts." Changjo snorts, a small sound like he's trying to keep it in, but Byunghun supposes it's as good a reaction as any. "Nothing I can do about the soda, though. Junhyung snarled at me when I told him to set some aside for you."
Changjo doesn't answer. Byunghun breathes deep, rests a shoulder against Changjo's as the latter curls up into himself even more, hides behind his crossed arms.
"Junhyung's a soda fiend," Changjo says after a while. "Bigger than I am."
They lapse into silence, Byunghun tapping his nails against the bathroom floor tiles, the sharp clicks echoing softly.
"What's all this about?" Byunghun asks when he feels that Changjo isn't going to say anything. "I'm sorry for not knowing, you know how I'm always so out of the loop. I can be so dumb sometimes."
"Stop putting yourself down," Changjo murmurs. "You're not dumb. You're just. Spacey. Inattentive."
Byunghun grins. Lays an arm across Changjo's shoulders and pulls him closer, awkward as it was; Changjo's shoulders were wide, almost too wide for Byunghun to comfort. "You're my best friend. You know that's why I burden you, right?"
"Yeah. I know."
"So if I ask what's happening, it's because I'm really concerned. And I have no idea what's happening. I don't like not knowing what's bothering my best friend." Byunghun feels Changjo almost pull away, almost shrink into himself, but Byunghun stops him with soft rubs of his fingertips. "Come on. Tell me."
That, at least, pulls some of Changjo out, even if it's just a short puff of irritation. "You know I'm moody, just leave me alone, this will pass."
"Nope," Byunghun answers cheerfully, "not going anywhere. I like it here."
"In Yun's bathroom?"
"That, too, he keeps it cleaner than ours. You should ask him over more often, maybe he'll clean our place."
That's draws a full laugh, short-lived though it was. "My boyfriend is not our personal cleaning lady."
"I'm just saying," Byunghun teases. "Our place is a mess compared to his."
"Yeah. He's too good for me. I don't deserve him."
"Now who's being dumb?" Byunghun pinches Changjo's shoulder, too soft to hurt but hard enough to mean business. "If you missed all the signs, it doesn't look like Yun's going away either. Looks like he's here to stay."
"A lot of people say that," Changjo grumbles. "But they leave anyway. Where are they now?"
There's really nothing Byunghun can say to that, he knows it's true enough. But maybe that's not the problem. "Doesn't mean they didn't mean it when they said it. People change. We all know that."
"Yeah. People change." The surprise is that somehow, this causes Changjo to unwind an arm and pull Byunghun closer, leans his head against Byunghun's like they've had too much eggnog. "It's usually not their fault."
"What do you mean?"
"Maybe they change because they don't like what they see," Changjo says. There's a dangerous flatness in his voice. A deadly form of acceptance. "Maybe they leave because they don't learn that they don't like me after all."
"Still being dumb, I see," Byunghun teases. "I'm still here. And so is Junhyung. And we know way too much about you already."
"That's 'cause you're idiots." Changjo pinches Byunghun on the cheek, half-hearted but hey, small actions count. "You should have left when you had the chance."
"Junhyung's pretty smart, come on. And I'm really persistent. I can cling to someone like damn."
"I can be good at pushing people away. It won't be the first time." Changjo laughs. This time isn't so good, all bitterness in the melody. "I've had a lot of practice."
"I don't think I'm going anywhere," Byunghun insists. "I mean, knowing too much about you is more than enough; I don't want to go through that again with anyone else."
"Is that so?"
"Of course. But."
"But?" Changjo's breath hitches. Buts aren't usually good.
Byunghun pulls free of Changjo's arms and stands up. Grabs Changjo's hand and pulls him to his feet, a token effort because Changjo's too heavy for Byunghun unless Changjo goes along. Which he does this time. "You should also give us a fair chance to live up to it. Don't just assume that we'll leave. And no pushing us away when you think we're getting tired of you. Because it's irritating, yes, and we're both going to lose out on each other's awesomeness. Okay?"
Changjo keeps his eyes on the floor. "Okay. Fair chance. Okay."
"Say it like you mean it, come on." Byunghun taps the side of Changjo's face. "Look at me in the eyes like a man."
Changjo's short, sharp breaths could have been full laughter during happier times, but hey, this is already pretty good. He raises his head, although it doesn't take much for him to catch Byunghun's eyes. "I'm screwed up in the head, aren't I?"
"A bit, yeah," Byunghun agrees. "But we love you anyway. Yun's got it bad if I'm any judge."
"I'll work on it," Changjo promises him. "I- it can take a bit of time, okay, and I can be a jerk."
"That's not a surprise." Byunghun opens his arms wide but doesn't move in, lets Changjo come closer on his own. Because some decisions, no matter how small, need to be owned. "We'll be around. Just don't let us feel like you don't want us around, okay? We're not saints."
Changjo's laugh is a bit fuller this time, small steps to feeling good again, something Byunghun feels as Changjo presses them together tighter. "Yeah. You guys love me. I believe you. Even if I don't know why."
"We don't know, either. Now come on, the pizza's getting cold. And there are people out there waiting to see you out there. I don't think Yun's willing to rent his bathroom out as your new room and I've already gotten used to living with you, okay?"
"Yeah. Fine. Fine."
Changjo plasters a smile on his face as Byunghun opens the door.
"Pizza's goddamn frozen already, you big baby," Junhyung gripes, which earns him a loving punch on the shoulder. "There's no soda left but Yun has a few beers in his fridge."
"You okay?" Yun asks lightly, enough to mask the worry.
"Yeah, I'll be okay."
"Want to stay the night?"
Changjo glances at Byunghun, who's busy having his hair ruffled by a very relieved Chunji. "I'd like that."