Schooll.
Sooo the first day of school for everyone. Most said it was crappy. And right they were. I mean, it was good considering EVERYONE is in my lunch and biology class… and I know a few in almost every other class. Not friends really but we could change that. Of course there was the whole entire Brandon thing… I was gonna totally just slap him and tell him off and throw all the shit he gave me at him and kick him in the balls - But I saw him and her just together and happy and smiling and…INSTANT HEARTSHATTER! So I got all weak, my eyes swelled with tears, I shakily handed him everything, and just ran away after he patted my head in a way to say “What a loser this girl is”… I went crying. Woot, I’m s trong human being. -.-; Who said that again. Then Alyssa saw. It was really disappointing cuz like I promises her I’d look great today cuz I really wasn’t gonna do anything…but my make up was all over my face. So she yelled at him, and he GRABBED her and told her off. Bastard. He’s changed so much! It like, I don’t know anymore. All I feel is him being heartless, giving me those, “Too bad so sad,” looks of his. Kim was smiling the whole time. God, they’re so happy together. They’re probably gonna last awhile. A long period of time of constant torment and worthless feelings. I mean, he was even holding her. You know how long it took for him to hold me?! T.T Oy, God… I can’t even… help me >.< Just help me! I ‘m beside myself here. I was a real whore today! I let my pants fall and everything. I don’t give a damn anymore. I’ve got no respect for myself… at all. I feel lower than any other human being. I really wanna die, but I won’t for the sake of my friends and promises. T.T For the past couple days I’ve been shaking non stop and crying and screaming and raging and my stomach swirled and my head was dizzy. This has been going on for days now. Lack of sleep and not eating as much food… I mean this depression has it’s whole other level. I WAS FUCKING REPLACED! Without him showing any slight care of my emotional train wreck. If I never keep walking up to him and calling him and mailing him and texting him he’d probably just leave me out of his life for the rest of his life without thinking or caring. Why is he so heartless? Why was he so deceiving? Why did I trust someone to love? Why am I holding on to memories and feelings he’s so over already? I’m so dumb! I think the both of them liked tormenting me and making me cry all day… like I really do. Why is humanity so cruel? What did I do?! Very accurate lyrics… (except for some little portions of course)
"You Oughta Know"
I want you to know, that I'm happy for you
I wish nothing but the best for you both
An older version of me
Is she perverted like me
Would she go down on you in a theatre
Does she speak eloquently
And would she have your baby
I'm sure she'd make a really excellent mother
Cause the love that you gave that we made wasn't able
To make it enough for you to be open wide, no
And every time you speak her name
Does she know how you told me you'd hold me
Until you died, till you died
But you're still alive
And I'm here to remind you
Of the mess you left when you went away
It's not fair to deny me
Of the cross I bear that you gave to me
You, you, you oughta know
You seem very well, things look peaceful
I'm not quite as well, I thought you should know
Did you forget about me Mr. Duplicity
I hate to bug you in the middle of dinner
It was a slap in the face how quickly I was replaced
Are you thinking of me when you fuck her
Cause the love that you gave that we made wasn't able
To make it enough for you to be open wide, no
And every time you speak her name
Does she know how you told me you'd hold me
Until you died, til you died
But you're still alive
And I'm here to remind you
Of the mess you left when you went away
It's not fair to deny me
Of the cross I bear that you gave to me
You, you, you oughta know
Cause the joke that you laid on the bed that was me
And I'm not gonna fade
As soon as you close your eyes and you know it
And every time I scratch my nails down someone else's back
I hope you feel it...well can you feel it
And I'm here to remind you
Of the mess you left when you went away
It's not fair to deny me
Of the cross I bear that you gave to me
You, you, you oughta know
But I must say, though I feel like I need death and I’m madly depressed, I had m heros…
THANK YOU TO THE BEST FRIENDS ANYONE COULD EVER ASK FOR!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!
Seriously, I REALLY couldn’t have lasted the days without you. I love the hugs, talks, and laughs. Cuz friend will always be there when the boy lefts when he’s had enough of you. <333
And sorry I’ve been such a bitch. Sorry Alyssa that I almost killed you… Behind every bitch there’s that one guy who made her that way. Alright I’m done… Sorry…*remembers the memories, the laughs, the tears, good, bad, and the undying love (on my part anyways)*
But really, thanks again to my friends.
In other news: Apparently the moon is not made out of cheese… and Danny sorta remotely asked me out but once again I wasn’t ready for anything. So he left the opportunity open. Why does he like me? I’m so weird. Then again, why does anyone?
"You Oughta Know"
I want you to know, that I'm happy for you
I wish nothing but the best for you both
An older version of me
Is she perverted like me
Would she go down on you in a theatre
Does she speak eloquently
And would she have your baby
I'm sure she'd make a really excellent mother
Cause the love that you gave that we made wasn't able
To make it enough for you to be open wide, no
And every time you speak her name
Does she know how you told me you'd hold me
Until you died, till you died
But you're still alive
And I'm here to remind you
Of the mess you left when you went away
It's not fair to deny me
Of the cross I bear that you gave to me
You, you, you oughta know
You seem very well, things look peaceful
I'm not quite as well, I thought you should know
Did you forget about me Mr. Duplicity
I hate to bug you in the middle of dinner
It was a slap in the face how quickly I was replaced
Are you thinking of me when you fuck her
Cause the love that you gave that we made wasn't able
To make it enough for you to be open wide, no
And every time you speak her name
Does she know how you told me you'd hold me
Until you died, til you died
But you're still alive
And I'm here to remind you
Of the mess you left when you went away
It's not fair to deny me
Of the cross I bear that you gave to me
You, you, you oughta know
Cause the joke that you laid on the bed that was me
And I'm not gonna fade
As soon as you close your eyes and you know it
And every time I scratch my nails down someone else's back
I hope you feel it...well can you feel it
And I'm here to remind you
Of the mess you left when you went away
It's not fair to deny me
Of the cross I bear that you gave to me
You, you, you oughta know
But I must say, though I feel like I need death and I’m madly depressed, I had m heros…
THANK YOU TO THE BEST FRIENDS ANYONE COULD EVER ASK FOR!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!
Seriously, I REALLY couldn’t have lasted the days without you. I love the hugs, talks, and laughs. Cuz friend will always be there when the boy lefts when he’s had enough of you. <333
And sorry I’ve been such a bitch. Sorry Alyssa that I almost killed you… Behind every bitch there’s that one guy who made her that way. Alright I’m done… Sorry…*remembers the memories, the laughs, the tears, good, bad, and the undying love (on my part anyways)*
But really, thanks again to my friends.
In other news: Apparently the moon is not made out of cheese… and Danny sorta remotely asked me out but once again I wasn’t ready for anything. So he left the opportunity open. Why does he like me? I’m so weird. Then again, why does anyone?