(no subject)
Ok, this sucks.
My grandpa died yesterday. My mom told me the day before that he was getting hospice care, so all day long I expected to come home and get an e-mail saying he'd passed...which is what happened.
But now I just don't know what to do with myself. I got up and went to mass this morning (at the Asamkirche) and on the way back got off two stops early, at Nordfriedhof. Friedhof means cemetery. I wandered through the ugliest Orthodox church I've ever seen and then spent a couple hours moping and smoking in the graveyard and then walked home. I wish it was later in the day so could call home and find out what's going on, what arrangements are being made, who is going to NM, but it's too early. Not that I should come back to the States - it would cost a shit ton of money, take forever, and I'd end up in El Paso or Albuquerque taking a Greyhound to Alamogordo, or something equally shitty, and I can't leave here for that long anyway because I have all these mandatory activities and need to register for Uni classes and whatnot.
But for the first time since getting here I really really want to be with my family. Or at least friends who know me well enough to give meaningful hugs. It's a strange feeling, being so far away from anyone else who knows or cares that he died. It's almost like it didn't happen, since no one else here can feel it. Then again, I have only told like two people. I don't want to unload on people I've only known for three weeks.
Well, enough of this sadsackery. I'm going to go make some coffee.