(no subject)
Today, I got a phone call from my sister, Charlotte. She asked me if I'd heard from anyone today. I said no. Then, she just blurts out that Larry, my brother, is dead. Right now, Everyone Hurts, by REM, is playing. That is so appropriate for my brother. He hurt, a lot!
Charlotte didn't know what had happened to him yet, but that he'd been in the hospital recently for a stomach infection, and he was due for a follow up. Crying, she had to go though, as her phone was ringing. She thought that mom was trying to reach her to give her more information. So far, she'd been unable to get a hold of mom.
I have spent the evening trying to understand the events that lead to his death.
From what I understand, he was trying to fix a tire on his van that was flat. It had nothing to do with his recent hospital visit. Apparently, Larry came over to mom's house to borrow her car to go buy a part to fix his tire. He got the part and was in the process of fixing the tire when the brakes locked up on him. He went to tap the brake, which I guess is suppose to unlock them. I guess, he was supposed to be pulling himself outside of under the car when the car fell upon him.
Mom heard the sirens as she was getting out of the shower, ran over to the old house where the sirens were sounding, to see Larry trapped under his van dead. She could only see his body sticking out, and she said that the tire fell on his neck, killing him.
Who called for help, I don't know. Was it him? Supposedly, he was on the phone at some point, but when the car fell upon him, I don't know. So far, I have heard about or from everyone. The telling is this:
Gary, Larry's twin brother, is despondant. He doesn't feel whole right now, and feels like the only way he can make it to KY is to just do what is right. He doesn't feel like he can "take it". His last conversations with Larry were frustration. He feels guilty about that maybe.
Charlotte, she said her last conversations with Larry were that he could be more a part of the family if he wants to be. She'd take him to visits with the family outside of KY. She also provided him with a place to stay when he was in trouble.
J.C., who was crying hysterically when he found out about Larry's death. J.C. also experienced death at a very young age of three, when his father died in bed with him of a heart attack. Since then, J.C. has had difficulty with death.
Guy, who I can't relate to well, so I don't know what he feels, but I expect, knowing him as I do, is also upset. Especially for mom, and he would wish to help everyone. I'm not close to him, but respect that he is a good person.
Bill, he was there and always is for mom. He came over immediately, and I don't know how he knew he was needed, but was at the old house during the police investigation. He was with mom when I last talked to her. During my last visit at the end of December, he told me that he wouldn't go vist Larry. I didn't and don't know why. He was angry at Larry.
Me: Well, my experiences with Larry are mixed, but I'll try my best to explain. He was frustrating, he was loving, he was playful, he wanted more, he got a poor start, but, most importantly, he was my brother, and I loved him despite of himself.
I cry to think he may not know that I did love him, but I think he may have known too. When I grew up, it was mostly me and Gary and Larry against the world. If Gary was mad at me, Larry made up for it, and when Larry was mad at me, Gary made up for it, protecting me. When other people were mad at me, Gary and Larry both took up for me, and no one picked on me for those very reasons. When I missed the bus, both Larry and Gary made sure I got to school because I was insistant that I had to go to school, even if I had to walk a few miles to get there. They did it only because it was important to me. They would've loved to just go back home, but I insisted that we never missed a day if we didn't have to. Sometimes, they only took me so close to the school and then left, but made sure that I got there safely. I think they probably walked about five or six miles to make sure that I was safe.
They didn't have a lot invested in school because they were considered "challenged". They aren't and weren't, and I didn't understand that they were considered this way until I grew up a little. I knew that they weren't in "regular" classes, but I never understood why they weren't until later, then I still didn't understand because they were smart. Until this day, I still say that they were and are smart.
Larry eventually turned to drugs, and he was mean. I saw him run away, only to have mom send him money that we didn't have. I saw him mistreat mom. I saw him have children that I feel that he didn't protect. I even grew to hate him sometimes. I even told mom to let him go his own way. Quit protecting him, quit making it easy for him..., quit, quit, and quit..... I wanted her to let him go, so to speak. She didn't.
He was Jon's age when he died today. My last visit with him was actually quite good. I played pool at his house, visited him a couple times a day and just talked. I took him to the doctor, and a CT scan. He hugged me the last morning I was in KY. I'd gotten to where I was talking to him again, and Meggan was talking to him too. The last conversation we had was a couple of weeks ago where he told me that he wanted to let me know that he was talking to Meggan, and that he would lead her right, and if anything came up that was important for her safety, he'd let me know. Only then he'd let me know, because it was important that he could be there for her. I told him that I trusted he'd do the right thing. I trusted him.
He told my sister about us playing pool with him, and how that made him feel happy, along with our conversations.
I wanted to write Larry a letter telling him that I loved him, but I never did. I wished that I did, and I hoped he knew that I loved him because I did.
I wish.... well, I just wish.....
I told my sister today that we have to bury him in his jeans, a t-shirt, a silver or turquoise chain and without shoes. That was the epitome of who he was, and I want him to just be who he was represented in death. Just because............. it means that we finally just accepted him for who he was, and he never felt that way in life.
Charlotte didn't know what had happened to him yet, but that he'd been in the hospital recently for a stomach infection, and he was due for a follow up. Crying, she had to go though, as her phone was ringing. She thought that mom was trying to reach her to give her more information. So far, she'd been unable to get a hold of mom.
I have spent the evening trying to understand the events that lead to his death.
From what I understand, he was trying to fix a tire on his van that was flat. It had nothing to do with his recent hospital visit. Apparently, Larry came over to mom's house to borrow her car to go buy a part to fix his tire. He got the part and was in the process of fixing the tire when the brakes locked up on him. He went to tap the brake, which I guess is suppose to unlock them. I guess, he was supposed to be pulling himself outside of under the car when the car fell upon him.
Mom heard the sirens as she was getting out of the shower, ran over to the old house where the sirens were sounding, to see Larry trapped under his van dead. She could only see his body sticking out, and she said that the tire fell on his neck, killing him.
Who called for help, I don't know. Was it him? Supposedly, he was on the phone at some point, but when the car fell upon him, I don't know. So far, I have heard about or from everyone. The telling is this:
Gary, Larry's twin brother, is despondant. He doesn't feel whole right now, and feels like the only way he can make it to KY is to just do what is right. He doesn't feel like he can "take it". His last conversations with Larry were frustration. He feels guilty about that maybe.
Charlotte, she said her last conversations with Larry were that he could be more a part of the family if he wants to be. She'd take him to visits with the family outside of KY. She also provided him with a place to stay when he was in trouble.
J.C., who was crying hysterically when he found out about Larry's death. J.C. also experienced death at a very young age of three, when his father died in bed with him of a heart attack. Since then, J.C. has had difficulty with death.
Guy, who I can't relate to well, so I don't know what he feels, but I expect, knowing him as I do, is also upset. Especially for mom, and he would wish to help everyone. I'm not close to him, but respect that he is a good person.
Bill, he was there and always is for mom. He came over immediately, and I don't know how he knew he was needed, but was at the old house during the police investigation. He was with mom when I last talked to her. During my last visit at the end of December, he told me that he wouldn't go vist Larry. I didn't and don't know why. He was angry at Larry.
Me: Well, my experiences with Larry are mixed, but I'll try my best to explain. He was frustrating, he was loving, he was playful, he wanted more, he got a poor start, but, most importantly, he was my brother, and I loved him despite of himself.
I cry to think he may not know that I did love him, but I think he may have known too. When I grew up, it was mostly me and Gary and Larry against the world. If Gary was mad at me, Larry made up for it, and when Larry was mad at me, Gary made up for it, protecting me. When other people were mad at me, Gary and Larry both took up for me, and no one picked on me for those very reasons. When I missed the bus, both Larry and Gary made sure I got to school because I was insistant that I had to go to school, even if I had to walk a few miles to get there. They did it only because it was important to me. They would've loved to just go back home, but I insisted that we never missed a day if we didn't have to. Sometimes, they only took me so close to the school and then left, but made sure that I got there safely. I think they probably walked about five or six miles to make sure that I was safe.
They didn't have a lot invested in school because they were considered "challenged". They aren't and weren't, and I didn't understand that they were considered this way until I grew up a little. I knew that they weren't in "regular" classes, but I never understood why they weren't until later, then I still didn't understand because they were smart. Until this day, I still say that they were and are smart.
Larry eventually turned to drugs, and he was mean. I saw him run away, only to have mom send him money that we didn't have. I saw him mistreat mom. I saw him have children that I feel that he didn't protect. I even grew to hate him sometimes. I even told mom to let him go his own way. Quit protecting him, quit making it easy for him..., quit, quit, and quit..... I wanted her to let him go, so to speak. She didn't.
He was Jon's age when he died today. My last visit with him was actually quite good. I played pool at his house, visited him a couple times a day and just talked. I took him to the doctor, and a CT scan. He hugged me the last morning I was in KY. I'd gotten to where I was talking to him again, and Meggan was talking to him too. The last conversation we had was a couple of weeks ago where he told me that he wanted to let me know that he was talking to Meggan, and that he would lead her right, and if anything came up that was important for her safety, he'd let me know. Only then he'd let me know, because it was important that he could be there for her. I told him that I trusted he'd do the right thing. I trusted him.
He told my sister about us playing pool with him, and how that made him feel happy, along with our conversations.
I wanted to write Larry a letter telling him that I loved him, but I never did. I wished that I did, and I hoped he knew that I loved him because I did.
I wish.... well, I just wish.....
I told my sister today that we have to bury him in his jeans, a t-shirt, a silver or turquoise chain and without shoes. That was the epitome of who he was, and I want him to just be who he was represented in death. Just because............. it means that we finally just accepted him for who he was, and he never felt that way in life.