In light of my recent posts.......
http://www.birthdayswithoutpressure.org/I love this site!
thanks to all who commented on the no gifts/gifts to charity thing. Yall really made me think about what i was really trying to do, and I think it boils down to this:
1) avoid getting gobs of crap that we dont need, dont want, and dont have room for
2) try to make birthdays not just about presents
3) teach Ben about the fact that there's others who aren't as lucky as he/we are, and if we're able, we should help those
4) hint to other friends/family that the gift excess is getting out of control
5) provide an opportunity to friends/family who don't object to donating, but just dont think about doing it that often.
I think I'm going to word the invite something like this:
Our little boy has so many toys, so we would like his friends and family to think of others who are in need.
If you're inclicned, please bring a childrens DVD or video (or whatever I find that local charities are in need of) for us to donate to (X Charity), or make a donation to your favorite charity.
I'm going to talk to my neighbor, a retired Baltimore city detective, and see if there's any shelters/ hosptials/ organizations that he has worked with that are especially needy. I like the idea of stuffed animals for the police to have for scared kids or building a movie library for a shelter/hospital.
We never did much charity when I was a kid, and really want to teach Ben about giving back. I look forward to when he's old enough that he'll understand when we go to drop things off how much it means to others.
As for the whole 'guilting others into donating' thing, I certainly don't want to do that...but I know when I got an invite saying something like "bring a book for Toys for Tots", I bought 2 books and didn't get all hung up about duplicating things that the birthday boy already had. I hope by adding the line about 'donate to your own' will alleviate any anxiety that a guest may have and let them do what they want if they can.
One reply on Hip Domestics said that the animal shelter parties (where guests bring a dog/cat toy or food) are great when kids are older because the kid KNOWS that the 'gifts' are for animals and won't be tempted by the toys that are meant for others. Something to keep in mind for future years......