Christmas '06
This just might be the worst christmas for me in a long time. These past few weeks i've wasted with worrying and stress, and havent taken the time to get into the christmas spirit. Here it is, midnight on christmas eve, 15 years ago my heard was beating out of my chest knowing that santa claus would land on my roof soon... And now i'm just wishing that it was tuesday.
My depressing attitude isnt all selfish. Most of the reason i want it to be tuesday is so i can see my friends again and go out and do fun stuff. My family just isnt what it used to be, and I feel more at home in glassboro around my friends (not to say that my friends from the tri-town area are less important, i miss you guys the most!). But sitting alone all night in this big empty house has got me feeling pretty crappy, and i'll admit, lonely.
A couple nights ago I had a dream that I went back in time three years, to my freshman year in college. The idea was that if i could go back with the knowledge I have now, i would know how to maximize my college life. I'd do better in classes, I'd pledge AXP in the spring of '04, I'd try to keep my band going... There would be a few sacrafices, such as my current relationships with friends, hell, i might even lose a few which hurts. But, in the end, i would know who to invest time with and who not, and I would always have the memories. Another hard part that I considered was all the freshman sophomores and juniors that i'm friends with now, I would have to wait years to see some of them again. That might make the reunion that much better, but I would look into their eyes and the memories we "shared" will only be in my head and not theirs. So, in my dream, as I rearranged my stuff in room 119 in chestnut hall, on august 29th of 2003, and got ready for work at my job at blockbuster, I realized something. At that moment it was as if a piece of me was just put back in place, after i didnt even know it was missing for years...
I might have woken up as if from a nightmare, but I look back on it like it was a good dream. Maybe i could do alot better if i could go back in time. For myself and others. Maybe we all could. Fix the mistakes and make the past 3 years a little smoother. As for the missing piece, maybe its the holiday season thats making me feel this way. Another emotion I cant control.
Merry Christmas Everyone
I hope you get everything you asked for
~Rawb
My depressing attitude isnt all selfish. Most of the reason i want it to be tuesday is so i can see my friends again and go out and do fun stuff. My family just isnt what it used to be, and I feel more at home in glassboro around my friends (not to say that my friends from the tri-town area are less important, i miss you guys the most!). But sitting alone all night in this big empty house has got me feeling pretty crappy, and i'll admit, lonely.
A couple nights ago I had a dream that I went back in time three years, to my freshman year in college. The idea was that if i could go back with the knowledge I have now, i would know how to maximize my college life. I'd do better in classes, I'd pledge AXP in the spring of '04, I'd try to keep my band going... There would be a few sacrafices, such as my current relationships with friends, hell, i might even lose a few which hurts. But, in the end, i would know who to invest time with and who not, and I would always have the memories. Another hard part that I considered was all the freshman sophomores and juniors that i'm friends with now, I would have to wait years to see some of them again. That might make the reunion that much better, but I would look into their eyes and the memories we "shared" will only be in my head and not theirs. So, in my dream, as I rearranged my stuff in room 119 in chestnut hall, on august 29th of 2003, and got ready for work at my job at blockbuster, I realized something. At that moment it was as if a piece of me was just put back in place, after i didnt even know it was missing for years...
I might have woken up as if from a nightmare, but I look back on it like it was a good dream. Maybe i could do alot better if i could go back in time. For myself and others. Maybe we all could. Fix the mistakes and make the past 3 years a little smoother. As for the missing piece, maybe its the holiday season thats making me feel this way. Another emotion I cant control.
Merry Christmas Everyone
I hope you get everything you asked for
~Rawb