I Won't Become The Thing I Hate (thanks Stabbing Westward)
I hate knowing that I can't relish what seems to define me the most... Strength? Intensity? Whatever it is - what I want can't be served by pursuing that end.
It's ridiculous. If I were a moron in the 10th century, I'd have my way. Instead, I'm self-conscious and hurting because I can't force the game.
Oh, and it sucks to be unsure about everything. Every. Little. Damn. Thing. Give people/reality leeway, and you wind up wondering how you'll fuck it up tomorrow.
I'd pray for something, anything, to show that the Golden Rule is a two way thing. I try to do things for other people, because I have no other choice in my heart. But when I need that same compassion/understanding/whatever, it's horrible absent.
I need a hug. And if you're reading this, it no longer counts.
It's ridiculous. If I were a moron in the 10th century, I'd have my way. Instead, I'm self-conscious and hurting because I can't force the game.
Oh, and it sucks to be unsure about everything. Every. Little. Damn. Thing. Give people/reality leeway, and you wind up wondering how you'll fuck it up tomorrow.
I'd pray for something, anything, to show that the Golden Rule is a two way thing. I try to do things for other people, because I have no other choice in my heart. But when I need that same compassion/understanding/whatever, it's horrible absent.
I need a hug. And if you're reading this, it no longer counts.