prelude to spite
so i've managed to do it again.
i've fallen hard for a girl i barely know, who couldn't care less if i existed.
i find it repugnant how my fascination always ends up caught by one who doesn't want it.
i mean, i wouldn't consider myself much of a looker, but i have caught girls checking me out before (including a few digustingly desperate but nonetheless milf-appeal holding housewives), so clearly i'm attractive to someone.
i tend to delight in the happiness of those close to me, and i've certainly adequate-sized genitalia (nothing special, but i wouldn't fancy it disappointing.)
so why is it i can't find a girl to be into that can reciprocate my feelings?
and why do i let my schoolboy crushes tear me into pieces?
why can't i be happy by myself, an independent young student looking to enjoy his time at university?
god, why is my existence so fucking vacuous?
so anyhow i think i'm buying a new gameboy.
looking forward to some more fft goodness to go along with fire red.
i also imagine metroid and zelda will end up eating more class time than will learning.
don't group me with those talentless hacks who start off as cinema majors and finish off in finance, but i had a funny thought for a film while watching some mosura movie today. a marginally romantic and thoroughly dark flick in which the leading couple's arguments were juxtaposed with scenes of giant monster battle. i don't imagine i could execute the idea very well, nor do i think it's really that great of an idea, but it's mine, and i'll do it. someday.
school starts in a week and i'm rapt with second thoughts.
maybe i should have gotten my cali license and schooled at ucla.
maybe i should have resent my transcript to nyu.
maybe i should have worked a fucking day of my entire high school career.
whatever. it seems my life's all about second chances, and there's a habit i can't seem to kick.
i really enjoy peach girl.
you each owe it to yourselves to read it through and feel as faggy as i do.
i wanted to play warzaid pretty hard today.
why couldn't i?
i've fallen hard for a girl i barely know, who couldn't care less if i existed.
i find it repugnant how my fascination always ends up caught by one who doesn't want it.
i mean, i wouldn't consider myself much of a looker, but i have caught girls checking me out before (including a few digustingly desperate but nonetheless milf-appeal holding housewives), so clearly i'm attractive to someone.
i tend to delight in the happiness of those close to me, and i've certainly adequate-sized genitalia (nothing special, but i wouldn't fancy it disappointing.)
so why is it i can't find a girl to be into that can reciprocate my feelings?
and why do i let my schoolboy crushes tear me into pieces?
why can't i be happy by myself, an independent young student looking to enjoy his time at university?
god, why is my existence so fucking vacuous?
so anyhow i think i'm buying a new gameboy.
looking forward to some more fft goodness to go along with fire red.
i also imagine metroid and zelda will end up eating more class time than will learning.
don't group me with those talentless hacks who start off as cinema majors and finish off in finance, but i had a funny thought for a film while watching some mosura movie today. a marginally romantic and thoroughly dark flick in which the leading couple's arguments were juxtaposed with scenes of giant monster battle. i don't imagine i could execute the idea very well, nor do i think it's really that great of an idea, but it's mine, and i'll do it. someday.
school starts in a week and i'm rapt with second thoughts.
maybe i should have gotten my cali license and schooled at ucla.
maybe i should have resent my transcript to nyu.
maybe i should have worked a fucking day of my entire high school career.
whatever. it seems my life's all about second chances, and there's a habit i can't seem to kick.
i really enjoy peach girl.
you each owe it to yourselves to read it through and feel as faggy as i do.
i wanted to play warzaid pretty hard today.
why couldn't i?