Mr. Nothing [10/11]
Author: 暗
Beta: 軽
Length: Multi-chapter
Genre: Drama, angst, AU
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Sakuraiba
Disclaimer: we don't own them as much as we wish for it, they are people and slavery is illegal and all of that.
Summary: He never questioned him what was he doing with his life anymore. He had lost himself a long ago. Misused, misunderstood. He didn’t know what he had done with himself nor wanted to know. Fuck, being fucked, boys, girls… it didn’t matter to him. This was his life; this had been his life for a long time. A life directed to self-destruction since the moment he lost himself. Self-injury, alcohol, sex with strangers, self-hate… he didn’t care anymore, he was empty, he was Mr. Nothing. But for Sakurai Sho, he would become Mr. Everything.
Sho was frozen, his fault? What was his fault? Sho was scared, what was his fault? What had he done?
“What it’s my fault?”
“That tattoo, I got it after you helped me. I just… I don’t know, just got it”
Sho smiled relieved, well, that was something good, right? In its own way, that tattoo was way more optimistic than the rest, and that he had gotten it because of him had to mean something, right?
“Can I ask you a favor?”
The other didn’t reply, but didn’t reject it either, so he continued.
“You can use me when you need it, just… don’t keep hurting yourself like that”
Then he saw it, the first glint of an emotional reaction, the first sign of a breach on Aiba’s wall.
“Why do you care that much?”
“You keep asking me that. Just do me that favor, ok?”
“Ok”
Sho was incredibly glad to hear that, at least, he had made a step, even if the other would use him…
“Thanks”
Sho fell asleep almost instantaneously after that, to wake up to an empty space. He looked around disappointed, he had hoped the other wouldn’t leave and to have another chance to keep talking to the guy. But just as he was getting up sulking he came face to face to him.
“Ah, good morning, thought you had left?”
“Should… I have left?”
Sho rushed to deny it.
“No, no, no! No, you shouldn’t, I just didn’t find you and thought you had, but was honestly hoping to wake up by your side… I mean, well, no but…”
Sho kept mumbling incoherencies, feeling more embarrassed by the second, just what was he thinking? He could bet he was as red as a tomato by that moment. Couldn’t he control himself? Come on, it was not like he was an innocent guy waking up next to his first guy, just what was with it. He suddenly stopped himself when he heard the other chuckling softly.
“What’s funny?”
Great, now the other was laughing at him and…
“Wait! You can laugh!”
The other stopped suddenly and looked at him seriously.
“You thought I couldn’t? I must look even lamer than what I thought…”
Sho laughed.
“No, it’s not that. It’s just that it’s the first time I see you like that, that just surprised me… you should do it more often”
Sho kept looking at him and saw a shade of pink in the other’s face that made him thought if anybody had ever praised him.
“So, what about breakfast? I’m not the best cooker so can’t offer you anything elaborated so… what about coffee and cookies again?”
Sho looked at the other and didn’t even wait for an answer before going to fetch it all, afraid that if he waited for an answer the other would tell him he had to leave or something.
“Seriously Sho, you have your hormones revolutionized? Is it that your brain has finally gone to waste or what…?”
Sho rushed back to where Aiba was standing with a tray of recent coffee and the same cookies he always had around, while motioning Aiba to sit down besides the small table.
“So, what do you have to do today?”
“wfogrk”
Sho stared at Aiba and couldn’t help to laugh about the lame try of the other to talk with his mouth full of cookie.
“Sorry, what?”
“Work, I have to work”
Ah, that made sense from the previous mumbling.
“With the dogs?”
“Yes. Well, not exactly. On Saturdays I take care of the shop”
“Can I go with you?!”
Sho didn’t even think before asking, but part of him, a big part of him, looked like it didn’t want to be apart from the other.
“Why do you want to come?”
“Ah, please me. Please?” I let you use me, let me be with you…
Sho stared at Aiba the whole minute it took him to decide, feeling more and more sure by every second that the other would turn him down…
“Ok, but don’t touch anything. I can’t afford to lose that job.”
“I’ll be like a wall!”
Sho rushed up and went to take a quick shower before coming back to Aiba, who was still sitting in the same place.
“You can take a shower if you need it, and… well, maybe they won’t suit you a lot, but you can also pick some clothes”
The taller man just gave him a nod and started walking to the bathroom. Meanwhile, Sho checked in all his drawers for something that could fit the other, he was thinner and taller so all his clothes would look weird on him, but well, at least they were clean, right?
After some minutes, the other came out of the shower just with a towel over his hips. It was more impressive to see all his scars and wounds by the day light, but he tried not to waver much to not feel him uncomfortable, amazed by the big step it must have supposed for him to come out like that and not covering them.
“Well, I’m not sure it will fit you, but it’s the best I can offer to you”
“It’s ok… thanks”
Sho kept staring to him as he started to get dressed. No matter what, he was beautiful for Sho. So beautiful that Sho was starting to think looking at him was addictive, but he decided to look away before the other could notice and reach any wrong conclusion.
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A/N: OMG! I just realized next one is the last chapter!! Well, no worries, there is something already ready to be posted after chapter 11 XDD