Mr. Nothing [8/11]
Author: 暗
Beta: 軽
Length: Multi-chapter
Genre: Drama, angst, AU
Rating: NC-13
Pairing: Sakuraiba
Disclaimer: we don't own them as much as we wish for it, they are people and slavery is illegal and all of that.
Summary: He never questioned him what was he doing with his life anymore. He had lost himself a long ago. Misused, misunderstood. He didn’t know what he had done with himself nor wanted to know. Fuck, being fucked, boys, girls… it didn’t matter to him. This was his life; this had been his life for a long time. A life directed to self-destruction since the moment he lost himself. Self-injury, alcohol, sex with strangers, self-hate… he didn’t care anymore, he was empty, he was Mr. Nothing. But for Sakurai Sho, he would become Mr. Everything.
Sho couldn’t almost sleep during the whole night, rolling on his bed asking himself if Aiba would be fine, or if he’d really call him if he needed somebody. He spent almost all his sleepless night planning ways to get closer to the other and make him trust him, but he knew nothing about Aiba’s story, what if he’d do something wrong and so?
The next day he was a total zombie the whole day, even worse than when he’d wake up after a hard night of party, but he still managed to get through it, thinking that maybe that night he’d be able to see him again.
He called Jun in the middle of the morning and asked him for a coffee, he needed to talk to somebody about the whole situation, and knew Nino would probably just mock him, and Ohno may be a good listener but he needed somebody to tell him his honest opinion, and that was Jun. So they agreed to meet after work in a coffee shop nearby, even knowing they'd met again at night. But nights were for party, not for talk about serious things like what the fuck Sho was getting into and how high the options of him getting hurt were.
As soon as he spotted Jun sitting already on a table, Sho started to walk towards him.
"Hey"
"So, what's worrying you to the point of asking me for a coffee?"
Well, such a direct reception was to be expected from him.
"You know the mysterious guy? Been meeting him this week and..."
"How meeting him? Like in fu--"
"No, no, actually not that way. I just came across him the other day. Jun, I wanna help him. I..."
"What? Don't tell me you've fallen for that guy?"
"I don't know. Have I?"
Sho stared at his friend, like if he had all the answers about what was going on inside his own head. Had he fallen for the guy? Well, he just wanted to help him, right? And hug him, and make him smile and spend all his time with him and...
"Oh my God..."
Jun gave him a sympathetic smile.
"Sho-kun, it's not my part to tell you, and you can do whatever you want with your life, but I'm your friend and think this will just end up hurting yourself."
"But then what? I let him to keep destroying himself?"
"It's not that, but what are you planning? Let him use you?"
Sho gave it a thought, well, actually that was his plan, to let Aiba use him…To do anything for him, if that would mean the other could stop looking for such a destructive ways to stop being empty.
"Something like that. And yeah, I don't get myself either"
He just knew he couldn't stop worrying about Aiba, and that he needed to do something for the other or he'd go crazy watching how the other kept destroying himself. And then was what the other had said. What was with him not being able to do it when he was there?
"Jun, what you think he meant with that about not being able to do it if I'm around?"
His friend gave him a meaningful look of 'do you really think I have all the answers of the world?' but replied anyway.
"Maybe because he knows he's being watched? I don't know, you should ask him better if you wanna know"
Jun was right, if he really wanted to know he'd have to ask him directly instead of annoying Jun, that, of course, had no clue about what the heck was going on inside of the ex-Mr Nothing's mind.
"I'll do that."
They parted different ways, not before according where they'd be going that night. It was impossible to guess where Aiba'd be or if the other would finally decide to stop avoiding him, so they just opted for one of their usual places.
Sho was decided to move around every possible club in the city to find him if it was needed, but luckily enough, there was no need for that and he spotted him as soon as they entered the club.
“There is your guy… Sho-kun, be careful, ok?”
Sho just nodded to Jun before starting walking directly towards Aiba, not even bothering to do the usual thing of ordering a drink first. For the first time in a long time, he didn’t feel the need to start drinking as soon as he entered a club, this time, there was something more important occupying his mind than getting dead drunk.
It didn’t take him long to reach him, Sho was used to that kind of places so knew how to move fast between the mass of people.
“So, you decided not to avoid me?”
“You’re quite persistent so I guess it’d end up being useless”
Sho smiled satisfied at that. Well, it was true, he was decided to check every place he knew if he didn’t find him in the first place, because even knowing that little about the other, he was sure he’d go out.
“How are you?”
“Does that matter?”
Sho let out a sigh before replying, hadn’t he say that already? For some reason, it did matter to him.
“It does, so, how are you?”
“Same as usual.”
Somehow, this gave thing a pinch of pain in his heart, feeling useless for not being able to do anything for him. But he couldn’t do anything if the other didn’t let him do it… He looked back at Aiba and saw the other starting walking away from him, and a wave of fear about what the other may do if he let him alone shocked him, so quickly he grabbed his arm and moved closer to him.
“I told you, I’m here if you need me… you can use me”
Sho saw the doubts crossing Aiba’s face and without thinking it too much he kissed him, grabbing him tighter, before breaking the kiss and moving his mouth to his ear.
“Let’s get out of here”
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A/N: So? So? How it's going? Wanting to know what happens next?! XDDD
The end is getting closer! But well, there are things ready after it~!