My First Love [8/10]
Author: Veridanya (暗 and 軽 collaborating)
Genre: Romance, angst
Rating: PG [For this chapter]
Pairing: SakurAiba, Ohmiya (hinted), SakuMoto (one-sided)
Disclaimer: we don't own them (We wish tho... T_T)
Summary: Can you forget the person you loved the most once? Can you forget the person whose existence marked you? Could you forget your first love?
_____
Aiba's head was a mess. A really huge stupid mess, that wouldn't allow him to think about anything but what happened with Sho. Not just in the present but also about what they shared in the past. He loved him like he hadn’t love anyone else back then, but he got hurt worst than ever too. He left his school, his friends... all just trying to forget how it hurt.
But now, Jun's words were dancing in his mind. Back then, and during all these years he had thought he was the only one that got hurt and the only one that had suffered because of what happened. However, what Jun told him, and what is more, the way he had done it, was making him think that probably Sho suffered too. What Aiba couldn't decide was if he suffered because of his pride getting hurt for being rejected or if it was because he really loved him as Sho was assuring him.
All those thoughts had him at 2 a.m. lying in his bed with his eyes wide open unable to sleep.
"Argh! Get out of my mind!"
He kept rolling on his bed for a while, trying to convince himself that he hadn't been wrong all this time and that he had more important things in his life now than worrying about this. Important things like work... where Sho was his boss. He was starting to think it was useless trying to run away from him. He had been doing it for many years and now suddenly he couldn't stop coming across him.
He took a look again at the clock on the bedside table.
"3:07..."
It was really late already, and he couldn't sleep. The same question still in his mind: had he hurt him that bad. He needed to know, he had to know. He was going crazy just thinking about it and unable to find the answer, because no matter how he tried to think he didn't, all the stuff happening lately was starting to prove him wrong.
"Ok, I'm going to find out... now!"
He didn't thought further than that, it didn't matter he was wearing his pajama already, or that it was more than 3 in the morning, he had to know, and it had to be now before he'd gone crazy. So he just got out of his apartment and walked towards the next door apartment and started to knock on the door like there was no tomorrow, until a sleepy Sakurai opened the door.
"What? You can't sleep alone and want my company?"
Normally, that would piss Aiba to no end, but he had better business to attend now than to argue with the other. So he just ignored that and went ahead with his question.
"Did... did I hurt you that bad?"
Sho's smirk disappeared instantly after hearing that.
"Is this because of what Jun told you, I told you not to mind him, it's---"
"Did I?"
"That... come in, I'll make some tea. And anyway, don't think this is the place to talk about it, it's late, and we may disturb somebody"
Aiba suddenly realized the hour, for sure wasn't the best time to talk about it. He really didn't think too much about it, probably he woke him up.
"O--ok"
He got into Sho's apartment and looked around. It was tidy, all in its place. But it looked like a sad place somehow...
"Sit down Aiba, I'll go to make some tea"
"Sure"
Aiba sat down at the couch and waited for him to come back. There were so little pictures around, just 2 pictures of Sho with his family and one that with Jun…Jun... Well, they were classmates at university, right? And they're friends, so he guessed it was normal... But there were no other personal thing around, no sign of other people in his life.
Aiba's train of thoughts got cut by Sho returning with two cups in a tray.
"Here you have"
Sho sat beside him in the couch after passing him a cup. But again, the question came to Aiba's lips.
"Answer me; did I really hurt you that bad?"
Aiba looked at him, and saw the hesitating face he had before he started replying.
"You know? I was shocked that I didn't recognize you as soon as you came in the office. You look exactly like back then. But you've changed a lot even being the same. You're colder now... and I guess somehow it's because of what happened"
Aiba was opening his mouth to talk, but Sho cut him before he could say anything.
"But the first thing I thought when I realized it was you that I'm glad, I'm glad you're fine, that you kept going with your life"
The sad tone of his voice didn't pass unnoticed to Aiba, somehow, it was answering his doubts.
"Back then, suddenly you disappeared, I--- I couldn't find you anywhere, and nobody was telling me anything. And all this years, I've been trying to find you. All this time it's been just you in my heart, nobody…didn’t matter how many people would tried to get a place inside it, there was just place for you"
Suddenly he got up, leaving Aiba speechless on the couch. He tried to imagine how could have been for the other guy that time. He had expected him to forget him, to move on. All this time he thought that he had been just a toy for the other, that it meant nothing for the other guy when he left.
When Sho came back, he handled something to him. Aiba's eyes got wide looking at it.
"This... page marker. I gave it to you, right?"
"Yeah, I still remember the day you gave it to me. You were so cute back then" Aiba could see Sho smiling at his own memory, but all that Aiba wanted at that moment was to cry.
"You... you kept it all this time?"
His tears started to flow down his checks, and he couldn't control them anymore.
"Even thought I left you? You kept it?"
Sho moved his hand towards Aiba's cheeks and started wiping his tears.
"I told you, in all this time, not even for a minute I've forgotten about you, not for a second I've stop loving you."
Aiba was overwhelmed, he... was he serious? Had he really loved him? He felt himself weakening at Sho's words, but he couldn't... he couldn't allow himself to get hurt again like that.
"I---I gotta go. Sorry for disturbing you at this hour and good night"
He got up and ran away to the door, leaving Sho dumb folded on the sofa. As soon as he was safe in his apartment, he fell on the floor and allowed himself to cry like he hadn't in years.
All this time, he had been blaming Sho for what happened. He's been hurt for years, not allowing himself to fall in love because he was scared. All these years, he had thought it had been Sho's fault, that his misery was because he played with him... But during all this time, Sho has been loving him, and he was assuring him he still love him. But the question was, all this time, had he loved Sho? And more important, did he still love him?
______
軽 A/N: Finally chap is here and 2 to go! Hope you enjoyed this chapter, and looks like many of you liked when Sho punched Jun huh? Poor JunJun. Thank you for the comments and thank you for reading
暗 A/N: Just 2 chapters to go... I'm divided between being happy or sad XD I'm liking this series. And about Jun's punch XD I'm so glad you agreed and liked it LOL It was totally against 軽 wishes and her biased mind! Hope you've enjoyed this chapter, and thanks for your comments!
Genre: Romance, angst
Rating: PG [For this chapter]
Pairing: SakurAiba, Ohmiya (hinted), SakuMoto (one-sided)
Disclaimer: we don't own them (We wish tho... T_T)
Summary: Can you forget the person you loved the most once? Can you forget the person whose existence marked you? Could you forget your first love?
_____
Aiba's head was a mess. A really huge stupid mess, that wouldn't allow him to think about anything but what happened with Sho. Not just in the present but also about what they shared in the past. He loved him like he hadn’t love anyone else back then, but he got hurt worst than ever too. He left his school, his friends... all just trying to forget how it hurt.
But now, Jun's words were dancing in his mind. Back then, and during all these years he had thought he was the only one that got hurt and the only one that had suffered because of what happened. However, what Jun told him, and what is more, the way he had done it, was making him think that probably Sho suffered too. What Aiba couldn't decide was if he suffered because of his pride getting hurt for being rejected or if it was because he really loved him as Sho was assuring him.
All those thoughts had him at 2 a.m. lying in his bed with his eyes wide open unable to sleep.
"Argh! Get out of my mind!"
He kept rolling on his bed for a while, trying to convince himself that he hadn't been wrong all this time and that he had more important things in his life now than worrying about this. Important things like work... where Sho was his boss. He was starting to think it was useless trying to run away from him. He had been doing it for many years and now suddenly he couldn't stop coming across him.
He took a look again at the clock on the bedside table.
"3:07..."
It was really late already, and he couldn't sleep. The same question still in his mind: had he hurt him that bad. He needed to know, he had to know. He was going crazy just thinking about it and unable to find the answer, because no matter how he tried to think he didn't, all the stuff happening lately was starting to prove him wrong.
"Ok, I'm going to find out... now!"
He didn't thought further than that, it didn't matter he was wearing his pajama already, or that it was more than 3 in the morning, he had to know, and it had to be now before he'd gone crazy. So he just got out of his apartment and walked towards the next door apartment and started to knock on the door like there was no tomorrow, until a sleepy Sakurai opened the door.
"What? You can't sleep alone and want my company?"
Normally, that would piss Aiba to no end, but he had better business to attend now than to argue with the other. So he just ignored that and went ahead with his question.
"Did... did I hurt you that bad?"
Sho's smirk disappeared instantly after hearing that.
"Is this because of what Jun told you, I told you not to mind him, it's---"
"Did I?"
"That... come in, I'll make some tea. And anyway, don't think this is the place to talk about it, it's late, and we may disturb somebody"
Aiba suddenly realized the hour, for sure wasn't the best time to talk about it. He really didn't think too much about it, probably he woke him up.
"O--ok"
He got into Sho's apartment and looked around. It was tidy, all in its place. But it looked like a sad place somehow...
"Sit down Aiba, I'll go to make some tea"
"Sure"
Aiba sat down at the couch and waited for him to come back. There were so little pictures around, just 2 pictures of Sho with his family and one that with Jun…Jun... Well, they were classmates at university, right? And they're friends, so he guessed it was normal... But there were no other personal thing around, no sign of other people in his life.
Aiba's train of thoughts got cut by Sho returning with two cups in a tray.
"Here you have"
Sho sat beside him in the couch after passing him a cup. But again, the question came to Aiba's lips.
"Answer me; did I really hurt you that bad?"
Aiba looked at him, and saw the hesitating face he had before he started replying.
"You know? I was shocked that I didn't recognize you as soon as you came in the office. You look exactly like back then. But you've changed a lot even being the same. You're colder now... and I guess somehow it's because of what happened"
Aiba was opening his mouth to talk, but Sho cut him before he could say anything.
"But the first thing I thought when I realized it was you that I'm glad, I'm glad you're fine, that you kept going with your life"
The sad tone of his voice didn't pass unnoticed to Aiba, somehow, it was answering his doubts.
"Back then, suddenly you disappeared, I--- I couldn't find you anywhere, and nobody was telling me anything. And all this years, I've been trying to find you. All this time it's been just you in my heart, nobody…didn’t matter how many people would tried to get a place inside it, there was just place for you"
Suddenly he got up, leaving Aiba speechless on the couch. He tried to imagine how could have been for the other guy that time. He had expected him to forget him, to move on. All this time he thought that he had been just a toy for the other, that it meant nothing for the other guy when he left.
When Sho came back, he handled something to him. Aiba's eyes got wide looking at it.
"This... page marker. I gave it to you, right?"
"Yeah, I still remember the day you gave it to me. You were so cute back then" Aiba could see Sho smiling at his own memory, but all that Aiba wanted at that moment was to cry.
"You... you kept it all this time?"
His tears started to flow down his checks, and he couldn't control them anymore.
"Even thought I left you? You kept it?"
Sho moved his hand towards Aiba's cheeks and started wiping his tears.
"I told you, in all this time, not even for a minute I've forgotten about you, not for a second I've stop loving you."
Aiba was overwhelmed, he... was he serious? Had he really loved him? He felt himself weakening at Sho's words, but he couldn't... he couldn't allow himself to get hurt again like that.
"I---I gotta go. Sorry for disturbing you at this hour and good night"
He got up and ran away to the door, leaving Sho dumb folded on the sofa. As soon as he was safe in his apartment, he fell on the floor and allowed himself to cry like he hadn't in years.
All this time, he had been blaming Sho for what happened. He's been hurt for years, not allowing himself to fall in love because he was scared. All these years, he had thought it had been Sho's fault, that his misery was because he played with him... But during all this time, Sho has been loving him, and he was assuring him he still love him. But the question was, all this time, had he loved Sho? And more important, did he still love him?
______
軽 A/N: Finally chap is here and 2 to go! Hope you enjoyed this chapter, and looks like many of you liked when Sho punched Jun huh? Poor JunJun. Thank you for the comments and thank you for reading
暗 A/N: Just 2 chapters to go... I'm divided between being happy or sad XD I'm liking this series. And about Jun's punch XD I'm so glad you agreed and liked it LOL It was totally against 軽 wishes and her biased mind! Hope you've enjoyed this chapter, and thanks for your comments!