Negative Energy: Arrogance (3of 3)
My brain injury usually reminds me of my fallibility. It limits me in feeling too indignant about something since soon I will have seizures. My brain reminds me that I am not better than anyone else.
What stopped me playing therapist was Oprah Winfrey. I started noticing contradictions between her advice and her life. Since I started to resent her direction, I began to see how I affected others with my sham advice. I was a “big-know-it-all” who knew what is best for everyone. It never occurred to me that I could be wrong. Through my reactions to Oprah Winfrey, I came to understand how others resented me.
I realize now that many people simply want to be heard. They want their pain to be taken seriously. All they want from me is to be there as an active listener. I now remain quiet and refrain from giving advice.
Underlying my arrogance to my former group of friends was sadness. I felt vulnerable when I first met them, and basked in their warmth. However, we were so different that we really could not be friends. The hurt still remains but I can feel it now since it is not covered by arrogance. Trying to be superior to them was my way of coping with the rejection I felt. I am grateful that it happened early in our acquaintance, and was a clean break.
The people who claim they are spouses of various Gods still irk me. However, I have choices which do not involve judging them. I can derive from their religious practices, ideas for my own worship. I can stop reading their blogs. I can choose to be tolerant and leave these people alone. Since they are not harming anyone, why should I care what they do? Since I desire tolerance for myself, I need to extend it to other people.
Arrogance becomes another form of control. What I do not like, I can be rid of. Through self-importance, I can feel privileged to eliminate any unpleasantness that I come across. Because of my strong personality, I need to keep it in check and respect others.
Underneath arrogance is fear, envy or sorrow. Fear and rage will also mask themselves as arrogance. It is easier to control and tear down others than to face the primary feeling lying beneath the surface. Arrogance can stem from brokenness, and keeps us from seeking relief.
Healthy self-esteem and pride springs from a sense of wholeness. Being kind to others begins when we finally start loving ourselves. An antidote to arrogance is being generous with ourselves and others.
Works Used.
London, Herbert, “The Dangers of Hubris”, American Outlook, 7 April 2002, Pundicity, http://www.herblondon.org/1384/the-dangers-of-hubris,
Lynch, Laure Beth, “Beyond Goddess: Female Devotees of Male Deities”, Gate of the Slain, 2004, http://gateoftheslain.weebly.com/beyond-goddess.html
Miller, Laura, “‘Sybil Exposed’: Memory, lies, and therapy”, Salon.com, 16 October 2011, http://www.salon.com/2011/10/16/sybil_exposed_memory_lies_and_therapy/ ,
---, National Association for Self-Esteem, http://www.self-esteem-nase.org/,
Walt, Stephen, “The Myth of American Exceptionalism”, Foreign Policy, November 2011, http://www.foreignpolicy.com/articles/2011/10/11/the_myth_of_american_exceptionalism,
What stopped me playing therapist was Oprah Winfrey. I started noticing contradictions between her advice and her life. Since I started to resent her direction, I began to see how I affected others with my sham advice. I was a “big-know-it-all” who knew what is best for everyone. It never occurred to me that I could be wrong. Through my reactions to Oprah Winfrey, I came to understand how others resented me.
I realize now that many people simply want to be heard. They want their pain to be taken seriously. All they want from me is to be there as an active listener. I now remain quiet and refrain from giving advice.
Underlying my arrogance to my former group of friends was sadness. I felt vulnerable when I first met them, and basked in their warmth. However, we were so different that we really could not be friends. The hurt still remains but I can feel it now since it is not covered by arrogance. Trying to be superior to them was my way of coping with the rejection I felt. I am grateful that it happened early in our acquaintance, and was a clean break.
The people who claim they are spouses of various Gods still irk me. However, I have choices which do not involve judging them. I can derive from their religious practices, ideas for my own worship. I can stop reading their blogs. I can choose to be tolerant and leave these people alone. Since they are not harming anyone, why should I care what they do? Since I desire tolerance for myself, I need to extend it to other people.
Arrogance becomes another form of control. What I do not like, I can be rid of. Through self-importance, I can feel privileged to eliminate any unpleasantness that I come across. Because of my strong personality, I need to keep it in check and respect others.
Underneath arrogance is fear, envy or sorrow. Fear and rage will also mask themselves as arrogance. It is easier to control and tear down others than to face the primary feeling lying beneath the surface. Arrogance can stem from brokenness, and keeps us from seeking relief.
Healthy self-esteem and pride springs from a sense of wholeness. Being kind to others begins when we finally start loving ourselves. An antidote to arrogance is being generous with ourselves and others.
Works Used.
London, Herbert, “The Dangers of Hubris”, American Outlook, 7 April 2002, Pundicity, http://www.herblondon.org/1384/the-dangers-of-hubris,
Lynch, Laure Beth, “Beyond Goddess: Female Devotees of Male Deities”, Gate of the Slain, 2004, http://gateoftheslain.weebly.com/beyond-goddess.html
Miller, Laura, “‘Sybil Exposed’: Memory, lies, and therapy”, Salon.com, 16 October 2011, http://www.salon.com/2011/10/16/sybil_exposed_memory_lies_and_therapy/ ,
---, National Association for Self-Esteem, http://www.self-esteem-nase.org/,
Walt, Stephen, “The Myth of American Exceptionalism”, Foreign Policy, November 2011, http://www.foreignpolicy.com/articles/2011/10/11/the_myth_of_american_exceptionalism,