A New Dictionary (or) Secular Nunnery
Dating (n.) - gerund. The act of meeting decent, reasonable, entertaining people, getting to know them, and discovering that you would still, rather, ultimately, be alone, eating ice cream in your underwear.
Halloween (proper n.) - a holiday that causes scantily-clad drunk college students to crowd the T, vomiting into public trash cans and ruining what was otherwise a perfectly good meditation on Beethoven's Seventh Symphony.
(alternate def. - less frequently used) - a holiday that causes otherwise reasonable human beings who spend all their money on takeout sandwiches to spend all their money on hats shaped like trees and covered in feathers, in the hope of looking clever and creative in a picture posted on The Facebook.
NaNo - (proper n., abbreviated form of "National Novel Writing Month") - the world's only insomnia cure to result in less sleeping.
Laundry - (n.) - the crushing victory of entropy over the vainly struggling miasma of mortal life.
Halloween (proper n.) - a holiday that causes scantily-clad drunk college students to crowd the T, vomiting into public trash cans and ruining what was otherwise a perfectly good meditation on Beethoven's Seventh Symphony.
(alternate def. - less frequently used) - a holiday that causes otherwise reasonable human beings who spend all their money on takeout sandwiches to spend all their money on hats shaped like trees and covered in feathers, in the hope of looking clever and creative in a picture posted on The Facebook.
NaNo - (proper n., abbreviated form of "National Novel Writing Month") - the world's only insomnia cure to result in less sleeping.
Laundry - (n.) - the crushing victory of entropy over the vainly struggling miasma of mortal life.