not the most rational thought process at times
Holidays were good! I was pretty emotional and bad around them with Max, but that was the last divorced Christmas, so hopefully we'll avoid it in future. Still haven't reconciled the sister stuff yet - god I'm so good, FU parents I just wanna hang with Sarah & Evanne - but we'll get there when we get there. We didn't ask them to split up and I'm not obligated to mitigate that for them.
Sarah and I ran a few times and we're doing the 10K at Champoeg State Park in March together. Emelin came and we had some laffs, saw Wild on Christmas Day. Tutu is definitely declining mentally and it's hard to watch, but hopefully Sean will come live with her and extend the time she's got before she absolutely has to go into memory care assisted living. Nancy was definitely weird to Sarah when she was here, I hadn't seen it as much before as I saw it this time, pushing her buttons and challenging her for no reason I could discern. It's hard because I'm almost as bad as dad in terms of conflict avoidance, and Sarah was on absolute best behavior; when she lost patience she just stopped coming over. It was a good fuckin' haul this year for me too, I got a KITCHENAID (!!!) and Max's dad gave us a nice flatscreen TV and Apple TV. Literally ridiculous.
Back at work and super stressed this week; I have one project I should have done last week and not just done absolutely nothing. But also we're trying to stick to the usual timeline (for no reason I can discern other than mom wants to) and pushing the keyworders to get MORE work done faster, which I don't like. We can give them 2 extra days to make it basically the same amount of time they would have, I don't understand why we wouldn't. I have a suspicion at least one will turn in late anyway.
New years' resolutions the same as they always are; eat veggies, run a 10K, read stuff, make stuff. I want to visit Sarah in SF and start working towards/saving for that roadtrip. Baby fever has become a hormonal period thing, so at least I know it won't overwhelm me forever. Got a lot of questions over Christmas about "so what's the plan now, when can we expect babies", then had a VIVID dream about getting married (right after a VIVID dream about having an affair with a woman), so officially putting that out of my mind. It'll happen when it happens.
-hannah