"Wind" at AO3

[verdeckt]

In a week's time, I will be deleting as the wind behaves from my AO3 account for possible reworking. EA is on indefinite hiatus for now; if I find myself further unable to write the next chapter then I will take it down (with a week's prior notice) as well. Thank you for your understanding."Wind" will remain online, but I may tinker at it in secret

Comments

[verdeckt]

Please never apologise for chattiness. I hope for one that this means that you had an energising, productive day! for I worry about you. But there's also this: I could sit at your feet and listen to you speak for the rest of my days.

My appearances online will become increasingly intermittent as the new semester rolls into gear in September. But I would love to have this dialogue, if you're up for dealing with a partner as slow-thinking and hypercritical as myself. I think talking about things like this could possibly restore to me some of the excitement I used to feel about literature before my graduate program installed a sense of dread in its place. Writing EA was once the place for expressing that joy and excitement I felt about words and structures, for experimenting as seemed impossible in an analysis, and I desperately miss that feeling, even as I bitterly regret many thoughtless, stupid decisions made in the exuberance of the moment. I went into the project thinking that ff.net was the sort of place where one could try out producing novels in the manner of Dickens, as serial publications, and became very swept up in the idea of allowing readers to determine certain elements of the plot. In hindsight, I know better.

Harry is -- difficult. You've spotted one of the elements of the story I toss and turn over most. I know many things about him now that I did not know about him then, and still I do not know enough. He is far too protean, changeable, unpredictable in the current version of EA, and I fear I am not far enough along in understanding him to write a significantly better version now. This may have to do with my rule that the narrative shall never go inside his head; perhaps I should write from his perspective just for myself, to see how that goes.

I appreciate what you said about keeping a story up as a testament -- a reminder, perhaps even a spur. "Wind" is a very painful sort of spur, like an untenable political position one took up in one's youth, but then again life is full of such memories, and they are of great importance in shaping what one is at the present moment.

But now I am most definitely rambling, and most pointlessly too. Shall we form an alliance of dubious people who are Far Too Serious about Fanfic on the Internet? In the meantime, I am going to write you an e-mail about something else...