Random Contemplation
So.
I'm in the process of copying and pasting all of my LiveJournal entries into a Word document just in case LiveJournal pulls some shady stuff and deletes my years of masterful work. ;-)
All joking aside, it's crazy to go back through these entries. First of all, it's so freaking fantastic to have a detailed log of my early twenties as I approach the very end of my twenties. Here are a few miscellaneous reactions I've had to some of the entries I scanned:
"Wow, I was so DUMB."
"Huh? How did he/she let me get away with saying that?"
"Man, I was SO much more creative back then!"
"Man, I'm such a better writer now!"
"Man, my quality as a writer has deteriorated."
"I was really absorbed in being a student."
My reactions have been all over the place and this is only fitting since I was bouncing ALL OVER THE EMOTIONAL SPECTRUM as a college student so it only makes sense that the entries are as varied as my reactions. Despite the great diversity of entries I made, I find one singular constant throughout them all: a powerful, all-encompassing self-absorption and veneration of myself. (Though I guess you could say this is the point of a journal?) I am by no means immune to this even to this day but this pathological obsession with myself, more so than anything else, is what stands out to me when I observe the young man I was in my early twenties.
I feel comfortable saying that this is what has changed the most about me as I was metaphorically slung around and beat half to death during my mid-twenties (executive summary: a two year stint in AmeriCorps that wounded up in me working in environments akin to "The Wire" in West Baltimore, a two year stint in Japan that was amazing but also included a work environment where I was verbally abused and harassed in front of children and being powerless to stop it since I was a foreigner with no power, a two-year stint in Washington DC aka one of the most corrupt places on the entire planet, etc.) Also, I think a natural consequence of getting older is that you start thinking of yourself as not just a singular individual but also part of something larger than yourself (be it a family,a cause, a religion, a race, etc.) For instance, I am a black man in America and that is an experience unique to a small subsection of humans on this planet (I believe Americans are only 5% of the world's population and the African-American population within it is 13% and let's say males make up half of this group so 0.05 x 0.13 x 0.5 = 0.3% of the world's population). While I AM an individual soul, I do also have something to contribute to this larger tradition. But I'm getting ahead of myself.
Anyways, I'll write in here sometimes just for fun! It'll be interesting to see how much I've changed over the years but this will also be good exercise for me. My supervisor at my job (more on this later) noticed my writing skills and has said the organization wants to utilize this professionally (yay!) Now's a good a time as ever to start flexing my writerly muscles! I'm looking forward to it! ^^
I'm in the process of copying and pasting all of my LiveJournal entries into a Word document just in case LiveJournal pulls some shady stuff and deletes my years of masterful work. ;-)
All joking aside, it's crazy to go back through these entries. First of all, it's so freaking fantastic to have a detailed log of my early twenties as I approach the very end of my twenties. Here are a few miscellaneous reactions I've had to some of the entries I scanned:
"Wow, I was so DUMB."
"Huh? How did he/she let me get away with saying that?"
"Man, I was SO much more creative back then!"
"Man, I'm such a better writer now!"
"Man, my quality as a writer has deteriorated."
"I was really absorbed in being a student."
My reactions have been all over the place and this is only fitting since I was bouncing ALL OVER THE EMOTIONAL SPECTRUM as a college student so it only makes sense that the entries are as varied as my reactions. Despite the great diversity of entries I made, I find one singular constant throughout them all: a powerful, all-encompassing self-absorption and veneration of myself. (Though I guess you could say this is the point of a journal?) I am by no means immune to this even to this day but this pathological obsession with myself, more so than anything else, is what stands out to me when I observe the young man I was in my early twenties.
I feel comfortable saying that this is what has changed the most about me as I was metaphorically slung around and beat half to death during my mid-twenties (executive summary: a two year stint in AmeriCorps that wounded up in me working in environments akin to "The Wire" in West Baltimore, a two year stint in Japan that was amazing but also included a work environment where I was verbally abused and harassed in front of children and being powerless to stop it since I was a foreigner with no power, a two-year stint in Washington DC aka one of the most corrupt places on the entire planet, etc.) Also, I think a natural consequence of getting older is that you start thinking of yourself as not just a singular individual but also part of something larger than yourself (be it a family,a cause, a religion, a race, etc.) For instance, I am a black man in America and that is an experience unique to a small subsection of humans on this planet (I believe Americans are only 5% of the world's population and the African-American population within it is 13% and let's say males make up half of this group so 0.05 x 0.13 x 0.5 = 0.3% of the world's population). While I AM an individual soul, I do also have something to contribute to this larger tradition. But I'm getting ahead of myself.
Anyways, I'll write in here sometimes just for fun! It'll be interesting to see how much I've changed over the years but this will also be good exercise for me. My supervisor at my job (more on this later) noticed my writing skills and has said the organization wants to utilize this professionally (yay!) Now's a good a time as ever to start flexing my writerly muscles! I'm looking forward to it! ^^