(no subject)
I don't have anything really to say right now, but I'm sitting in the kitchen on the internet and want to say SOMETHING. I wish I could think of something really deep and interesting...but no. I just watched Trainspotting. So that's...cool. I wish we had more movies. I wish I was busier. I wish I could figure it out. On second thought, no I don't. People who have it all figured out are kind of annoying and I think probably deluding themselves.
In other, potentially, interesting news, I'm coming home. I'll be in the north country sometime in early March (I keep putting off buying a plane ticket for unknown reasons). I am facing the hitherto unexplored situation of actually having to choose between graduate programs. I didn't really consider the possiblity that I would get in, and when I did think about it was naive and thought the choice would be simple. Turns out to not be. But I've decided that I'm going to change my ways. I'm going to take action. I'm going to visit the schools, and admit what I want when I know (because I usually know I just avoid saying it). No more doing what other people want, or what I think they want, I'm doing what I want and not feeling bad about it. Which is what I always do, natch, but this time I'm not going to kvetch over the decision and I'm not going to whine about it. New goddamn leaf.
I'm reading The Crimes of Love by the Marquis de Sade. It's interesting. According to the biographer who wrote the introduction, he was not nearly as debased as reports of the time made him out to be. He certainly had what we now consider to be strong sadistic tendencies and he definitely participated in some forced sexual violence which pushed the boundaries of the time. However, did it deserve to imprison him for 1/3 of his life? I think his bigger crime was being an supremely arrogant class chauvinist. He felt that he could force people to engage in his criminal sexual behavior because of who he was. But he certainly wasn't the only one doing it. At any rate, I've decided the term "sexual deviant" is hollow and that his writings, while at the time revolutionary, are now basically romantic drivel, the stuff of bodice-rippers. I have to admit that the psychological aspects are interesting and deserve more investigation, but the writing is pretty awful.
In other, potentially, interesting news, I'm coming home. I'll be in the north country sometime in early March (I keep putting off buying a plane ticket for unknown reasons). I am facing the hitherto unexplored situation of actually having to choose between graduate programs. I didn't really consider the possiblity that I would get in, and when I did think about it was naive and thought the choice would be simple. Turns out to not be. But I've decided that I'm going to change my ways. I'm going to take action. I'm going to visit the schools, and admit what I want when I know (because I usually know I just avoid saying it). No more doing what other people want, or what I think they want, I'm doing what I want and not feeling bad about it. Which is what I always do, natch, but this time I'm not going to kvetch over the decision and I'm not going to whine about it. New goddamn leaf.
I'm reading The Crimes of Love by the Marquis de Sade. It's interesting. According to the biographer who wrote the introduction, he was not nearly as debased as reports of the time made him out to be. He certainly had what we now consider to be strong sadistic tendencies and he definitely participated in some forced sexual violence which pushed the boundaries of the time. However, did it deserve to imprison him for 1/3 of his life? I think his bigger crime was being an supremely arrogant class chauvinist. He felt that he could force people to engage in his criminal sexual behavior because of who he was. But he certainly wasn't the only one doing it. At any rate, I've decided the term "sexual deviant" is hollow and that his writings, while at the time revolutionary, are now basically romantic drivel, the stuff of bodice-rippers. I have to admit that the psychological aspects are interesting and deserve more investigation, but the writing is pretty awful.