You snooze, you lose.... (lmao)
Okay so there are a lot of things that have happened to me: creating a fake police report in high school (don't ask); having my car break down in the worst neighborhood ever after I smoked pot with my sister-in-law (we thought we saw someone with an uzi); asking my best friend after school if my book bag looked dumb on my back because it was filled with books, and when she asked me to turn to show her, the zipper broke open and everything fell out of my bag and onto the street...You get the picture. But I never...and I repeat, NEVER had someone catch a case of the zzzzzz's on my va-jj.
Maybe I should have seen the signs: the orange eyes, the constant nodding off during a movie, the preparation of my decorative pillow beneath his head on my floor. But I figured sex would wake any man up....I figured wrong.
So I'll paint the scene..I'm on my bed, on my back....and Carl is doing a good job at you-know-what. But every now and then the speed slows down...and I'm thinking "hmm, maybe he is trying a different pattern..Trying to slow down so I will want it more and then he will speed it back up." But then his tongue was just a dead piece of meat on my thingee and I asked accusingly "are you falling asleep?!"...He immediately perked his head up and said with conviction (and I might add that he actually sounded offended- the nerve) "Absolutely not!"...and then continued to lick...Two minutes later, the same shit. Tongue out like a dead dog and head slowly but surely falling into my pelvic bone. I waited this time so I could make sure my suspicions were right...And sure enough, he was asleep. I grabbed his hair and told him to "get the f*ck off"..Then came the apologies, the whining....I wasn't hearing it. I had my back turned and wasn't interested in hearing anything. I was so offended and insulted that I didnt even want to look at him. Then, ironically enough, he says "Jen, please; I can't go to sleep". HA! "Could have fooled me" was my response. Seriously, the nerve!
In the morning, I was still angry. I woke up to him touching me and I told him to get off me. It was around 5am and he wanted to try to make up. I wasn't over the fact that he used my cooch as a pillow the night before.
Anyway... a few days later I had already forgiven him for it but he said he was gonna get me something from the mall. I thought it was going to be crotchless underwear or something of that nature (a gift for him). lol Later that evening I went over and he gave me that beautiful mesh ring from Tiffany's that I love so much. It looks really nice on me, but it was a size too big so he had to take it back and exchange it. Anyway, the whole point is that I kept telling him the reason he got the ring is because of what he did..He says no, but I disagree. Not that it matters: it was a very sweet thought. That night we were going to Cocomo Joe's (against his will; I dont think he really wanted to go because his ex goes there but whatever. I like it there and I wanted to play pool.
We never got to play pool because the stripper Bebe shoes he got me made it impossible for me to walk. I even had to hold his hand to go to the bathroom because i was afraid I would bust my ass. That night was fun even though the guys were a little bit out of hand with the glances but I thought it was funny when one guy who was totally wasted kept staring at me (according to Carl)...and since I couldnt get up to dance bc of my heels, I sat by the bar and danced in my chair. Apparantly, the guy was starting at my tits as I danced and Carl said "Alright..that's enough!". At that moment, I had no idea what the hell he was talking about..so I turned to him and said "what?" and he was like "you need to stop, you're driving him crazy"...lmao! I thought it was funny and ridiculous at the same time how he was paying attention to the guy- and I was completely oblivious bc I was really loving the music...Anyway, I had a great time and had Long Island Iced Teas that night. Mmmmm, that's a good recipe for good sex. :)
The next day I bent over his bathroom sink and let him have it right in front of the mirror. I wont get into that in detail but anyway, it was good. Then I went home and met Marilyn, cooked turkey burgers and got ready for the pool.
Gotta finish one more thing at work before my vacation starts. Yes! I have almost finished my last day for the week. I am off til June 3rd.
Maybe I should have seen the signs: the orange eyes, the constant nodding off during a movie, the preparation of my decorative pillow beneath his head on my floor. But I figured sex would wake any man up....I figured wrong.
So I'll paint the scene..I'm on my bed, on my back....and Carl is doing a good job at you-know-what. But every now and then the speed slows down...and I'm thinking "hmm, maybe he is trying a different pattern..Trying to slow down so I will want it more and then he will speed it back up." But then his tongue was just a dead piece of meat on my thingee and I asked accusingly "are you falling asleep?!"...He immediately perked his head up and said with conviction (and I might add that he actually sounded offended- the nerve) "Absolutely not!"...and then continued to lick...Two minutes later, the same shit. Tongue out like a dead dog and head slowly but surely falling into my pelvic bone. I waited this time so I could make sure my suspicions were right...And sure enough, he was asleep. I grabbed his hair and told him to "get the f*ck off"..Then came the apologies, the whining....I wasn't hearing it. I had my back turned and wasn't interested in hearing anything. I was so offended and insulted that I didnt even want to look at him. Then, ironically enough, he says "Jen, please; I can't go to sleep". HA! "Could have fooled me" was my response. Seriously, the nerve!
In the morning, I was still angry. I woke up to him touching me and I told him to get off me. It was around 5am and he wanted to try to make up. I wasn't over the fact that he used my cooch as a pillow the night before.
Anyway... a few days later I had already forgiven him for it but he said he was gonna get me something from the mall. I thought it was going to be crotchless underwear or something of that nature (a gift for him). lol Later that evening I went over and he gave me that beautiful mesh ring from Tiffany's that I love so much. It looks really nice on me, but it was a size too big so he had to take it back and exchange it. Anyway, the whole point is that I kept telling him the reason he got the ring is because of what he did..He says no, but I disagree. Not that it matters: it was a very sweet thought. That night we were going to Cocomo Joe's (against his will; I dont think he really wanted to go because his ex goes there but whatever. I like it there and I wanted to play pool.
We never got to play pool because the stripper Bebe shoes he got me made it impossible for me to walk. I even had to hold his hand to go to the bathroom because i was afraid I would bust my ass. That night was fun even though the guys were a little bit out of hand with the glances but I thought it was funny when one guy who was totally wasted kept staring at me (according to Carl)...and since I couldnt get up to dance bc of my heels, I sat by the bar and danced in my chair. Apparantly, the guy was starting at my tits as I danced and Carl said "Alright..that's enough!". At that moment, I had no idea what the hell he was talking about..so I turned to him and said "what?" and he was like "you need to stop, you're driving him crazy"...lmao! I thought it was funny and ridiculous at the same time how he was paying attention to the guy- and I was completely oblivious bc I was really loving the music...Anyway, I had a great time and had Long Island Iced Teas that night. Mmmmm, that's a good recipe for good sex. :)
The next day I bent over his bathroom sink and let him have it right in front of the mirror. I wont get into that in detail but anyway, it was good. Then I went home and met Marilyn, cooked turkey burgers and got ready for the pool.
Gotta finish one more thing at work before my vacation starts. Yes! I have almost finished my last day for the week. I am off til June 3rd.