how best friends become strangers
when i was 4 years old, i met K and S. we carpooled to kindergarten together. we went thru elementary school together, played at recess together, passed notes to each other, and played manhunt in the woods by our houses. we formed a triangle and met in the middle to ride our bikes around the neighborhood or to go play kickball with the other kids in our neighborhood. around jr high and high school, we drifted apart. we fought. we ganged up on each other, and in the end, we remained friends. from high school on, K and I stayed the closest. we were sisters. we attended different high schools, but would meet after school at her house and sit around and hang out. we met our high school sweethearts around the same time. we broke up with them around the same time. we carried each other through the tears and laughter. we attended different colleges and visited each other once a year. we switched off when the other would visit and would meet back during holidays back at our childhood homes.
K and I met D in junior high. K and D were the "couple" of junior high. she likened it to a love story like in the movies brown sugar and in love and basketball. then she met john while D was on vacation. she went to a different high school, D and I attended public high school together. we were all part of the same group of friends. after high school, we had all completed our freshman years of college at our respective schools and were home for the summer. K and D rekindled their adolescent love affair, this time for real. when summer ended and we returned to school, they tried to make it work. she ended up cheating on him and then it ended. D refused to talk to K. when your first love tears you down, what do you expect? For two years, he didn't speak to her.
four years ago, i was lost. the summer before junior year of college, i got an apartment in new york city and moved into a place with friends from college. i was at the end of a tumultuous involvement. i was abusing drugs and alcohol. i was experimenting with a single life i never knew and doing it in a self destructive and reckless manner. i was being promiscuous. i was being selfish and trying to live the life i thought i wanted.
i took the train home one day to spend the weekend catching up with childhood friends and attended a party. D reconciled with K. I was happy. D and I had started becoming closer friends and I wanted to keep neutral between my two friends. that night, we all had been drinking for hours. I had been doing other substances in addition. somehow, D ended up in the same room as me alone. he kissed me. and then it started.
I was thirsting for love. i was thirsting for something. K had commented on what had happened at the party. she didnt say anything disapproving, and even wanted to gossip about it and asked me how it was. before looking, i jumped. i slept with D. my guilt overwhelmed me and i told K the truth. I told her i loved her and if she wanted to me to stop, i would. she gave me her approval. so i continued. she hasnt spoken to me since. despite multiple attempts on my end. even when my father gave me a black eye one late night in august, i called her for help. she offered to send her boyfriend to the rescue. i declined.
our lives got busy. hers returned home after college, and i remained in new york. i still sent messages, cards, and calls for holidays and birthdays. i believed, we would never be the same again. so much time has passed. where could we even start? but we had always been able to pick up where we left off before.. i realized, it would be different this time.. but we could still salvage something. anything.
last thanksgiving i learned through the grapevine she was engaged. i emailed and congratulated her. she actually responded. we were short in our communications.
now she is getting married. she has sent out invitations to her engagement party, and amongst all of our childhood friends, i have been singled out and left out. despite my repeated attempts at forgiveness, i believe now it is beyond a doubt, that there is no recovery for our friendship. I had a glimmer of hope, and now i realize it is futile.
that is how best friends become strangers.
K and I met D in junior high. K and D were the "couple" of junior high. she likened it to a love story like in the movies brown sugar and in love and basketball. then she met john while D was on vacation. she went to a different high school, D and I attended public high school together. we were all part of the same group of friends. after high school, we had all completed our freshman years of college at our respective schools and were home for the summer. K and D rekindled their adolescent love affair, this time for real. when summer ended and we returned to school, they tried to make it work. she ended up cheating on him and then it ended. D refused to talk to K. when your first love tears you down, what do you expect? For two years, he didn't speak to her.
four years ago, i was lost. the summer before junior year of college, i got an apartment in new york city and moved into a place with friends from college. i was at the end of a tumultuous involvement. i was abusing drugs and alcohol. i was experimenting with a single life i never knew and doing it in a self destructive and reckless manner. i was being promiscuous. i was being selfish and trying to live the life i thought i wanted.
i took the train home one day to spend the weekend catching up with childhood friends and attended a party. D reconciled with K. I was happy. D and I had started becoming closer friends and I wanted to keep neutral between my two friends. that night, we all had been drinking for hours. I had been doing other substances in addition. somehow, D ended up in the same room as me alone. he kissed me. and then it started.
I was thirsting for love. i was thirsting for something. K had commented on what had happened at the party. she didnt say anything disapproving, and even wanted to gossip about it and asked me how it was. before looking, i jumped. i slept with D. my guilt overwhelmed me and i told K the truth. I told her i loved her and if she wanted to me to stop, i would. she gave me her approval. so i continued. she hasnt spoken to me since. despite multiple attempts on my end. even when my father gave me a black eye one late night in august, i called her for help. she offered to send her boyfriend to the rescue. i declined.
our lives got busy. hers returned home after college, and i remained in new york. i still sent messages, cards, and calls for holidays and birthdays. i believed, we would never be the same again. so much time has passed. where could we even start? but we had always been able to pick up where we left off before.. i realized, it would be different this time.. but we could still salvage something. anything.
last thanksgiving i learned through the grapevine she was engaged. i emailed and congratulated her. she actually responded. we were short in our communications.
now she is getting married. she has sent out invitations to her engagement party, and amongst all of our childhood friends, i have been singled out and left out. despite my repeated attempts at forgiveness, i believe now it is beyond a doubt, that there is no recovery for our friendship. I had a glimmer of hope, and now i realize it is futile.
that is how best friends become strangers.