Battered Girls and Bagels in the Hayloft [AIM Log]
immediately following this.
Liam: *gently knocks on the door* Pixie?
Chuck: *closes her laptop and looks towards the door from her place on the bedroom floor* It's not locked, you can come in...
Liam: *opens the door and pokes his head in* Hey, pretty girl. *comes in and closes the door behind him* I was wondering if you might like to get out of the house for a bit. We could head up to the creek or go play with the kittens or something.
Chuck: *sits up and looks at him, a little surprised* You want to spend time with me?
Liam: *sits down facing her* Sure I do.
Chuck: *brushes her hair out of her face* You've been staying away from me, I...*looks at the floor, she pretty well told Val that she didn't even think Liam wanted to still date her let alone love her* What do you want to do? Do you want to go up to the creek or play play with Bagel or what? *Bagel, not the kittens, Bagel*
Liam: *picks up one of her hands in both of his and looks gravely into her eyes* I want to know what you want, sugar. You can tell me, you know.
Chuck: I want to do whatever you want, Liam. *manages a lopsided smile for him*
Liam: *He's careful to keep his frustration out of his voice, letting his tone stay calm and reasonable* Pixie Girl, you've never before been shy about expressing your opinion to me. You don't have to be now, either. *returns a small smile*
Chuck: *looks at the floor between them* Can we go play with Bagel...and the rest of the kittens? *she's going to miss the orange ball of fluff when he's gone*
Liam: *his smile widens a little* We sure can. *kisses the hand he's holding before he stands up* C'mon, sugar.
Chuck: *lets him pull her up* Do I need my shoes? *because they are under the bed and they are heading for the door*
Liam: *chuckles* I could carry you. But if you'd rather get your shoes, go ahead.
Chuck: *makes a face at him* No. I hope it's cold out and then I will put my froze toes on you. Maybe.
Liam: *grins* As you wish, Pixie Queen. *kneels in front of her, facing away* Climb on and we'll go find you a Bagel.
Chuck: *looks at him like he's lost his mind, she was planning to walk barefoot. It's a novelty to her, outside anyway* Country Boy, you haz problems. *but she climbs on, piggyback style anyway*
Liam: *chuckles as he stands up, bouncing her a little to settle her comfortably on his back* Why do I have problems? Because I like carrying you?
Chuck: *her arms loop around his shoulders and she takes the opportunity to nuzzle the back of his neck with her lips. She's missed kissing him the last few days.* Because I said so. Still, me am keeping you, frand.
Liam: *makes a contented humming sound at the feel of her lips on his nape, his head droops forward a bit* That's good to know, Tiny. *carts her down the stairs and to the door* Open? *turns at an angle so she can reach the doorknob*
Chuck: Must I do everything? *gives an exasperated sigh followed by a soft laugh as she fumbles with the doorknob before managing to get it open.* Your mom is giving us a funny look...just so you know.
Liam: Is she? *laughs as he heads out the door, then reverses the move so Chuck can close it* No worries. I get weird looks from Mam for all sorts of reasons.
Chuck: Because you are weird. *Chuck confirms as she closes the door*
Liam: *starts loping toward the barn* There is that. There's also the "Sweet Jesus you just reminded me of your Uncle Wes" look, the "how in the blue corn hell did you get it into your head to do that" look, the "you must've gotten that from your Da because you sure as shootin' didn't get it from me" look ... all kinds.
Chuck: *clings tighter because she so does not want to be dropped or fall* Is there a 'Please to not be dropping your girlfrand on her butt' look?
Liam: Don't you worry, sugar. *gives her thighs a squeeze* I won't drop you, on your butt or anything else.
Chuck: *tries to do as he asks but ends up mostly squeezing him more tightly between her thighs and lacing her fingers together as her arms stay looped around his shoulders*
Liam: *enters the barn and carefully lowers Chucklet to the floor* There you are, all safe and sound.
Chuck: *and she immediately backs up against the nearest wall, not only are there horses in stalls but there's Marcus with Sheba in the cross ties, being groomed*
Liam: Hey, it's okay. *slides an arm around her shoulders and places himself between her and sight of anything equine* C'mon, the loft and the kittens are right over here. *guides her over to the ladder*
Chuck: *Marcus gives him a look like 'this is NOT the creek, dummy' but says nothing as he watches Chuck scoot towards the ladder, hoping she won't scream and spook every animal in the barn*
Liam: *gives Chuck a gentle hug* You're all right, sugar. I'm right behind you. And look, there's Maggie-cat saying hi. *mama cat does indeed look down the ladder and make an inquiring noise*
Chuck: *don't scream, don't scream, don't scream...Chuck is barely breathing as she climbs the ladder, afraid that if she has actual air in her lungs she will yell and scream. Instead, she scrambles up to the loft before answering Liam or acknowledging the cat* Kitty kitty...
Liam: *climbs up right behind his Pixie, sending soothing, quieting thoughts to the horses and smiling as Chuck gets greeted by Maggie's dignified purr and an assortment of excited kitten merrps* Looks like your friends missed you.
Chuck: *below them, Marcus finishes his tasks and puts Sheba in her stall before excusing himself quietly, he has a RIna to call. Chuck, on the other hand, crawls across the loft floor until she comes to a pile of loose hay and an orange tabby kitten mowing loudly.* Hewwo Bagel. *she scoops him up and kisses his hay dust covered head* Me missed you too. *tucking the kitten in her tank top, she looks over at Liam. * Me missed you, Liam.
Liam: *settling himself next to her, he puts his arm back around her shoulders and gives Bagel's little orange head a scratch* Missed you too, Tiny. *he can't help but smile as kittens seem to appear from everywhere, but his eyes are still thoughtful*
Chuck: *Bagel seems content, for the moment, to snuggle in Chuck's shirt, against her warm skin and he purrs contently while doing so.* He has a motor in his tummy, his whole body vibrates. *it's not long before Muffin and Waffle, Pancake and a few others are scrambling over Liam and Chuck looking for attention. The tiny Blonde rests her head on Liam's shoulder and keeps one hand against Bagel, the other doling out pettings to various kittens* Do you like your horses more than you like me?
Liam: *Muffin immediately starts kneading his thigh while Waffle bats at the cuff of his jeans* No. *a simple, straightforward answer, breathed softly against Chuck's hair. If she has a deeper question she wants answered, she'll have to come out with it, he thinks. Liam doesn't feel confident enough to play guessing games*
Chuck: *has quite a few questions but for now she focuses on Bagel and dipping her head to kiss his face, laughing at the whiskers tickling her nose* You the bestest kitten evar. Yes, you. Mew? *Chuck mows back and forth with the kitten, surprised when Maggie cat comes over to investigate*
Liam: *watches as Maggie sniffs both Chuck and her kitten inquisitively* Maybe she thinks you're a big kitten. *hesitates while he tickles Bagel's ears, then says softly* We can keep him, you know.
Chuck: *raises her head ever so slowly at Liam's words, not sure if she heard him correctly* You can keep him, Bagel? You don't have to give him away? *she's not sure if she wants to smile or cry at the idea of 'her' kitten staying with Liam for good* You'd take care of him for me?
Liam: Yes, he can stay. *gently brushes a lock of her hair off her forehead, looking into her eyes* And of course I'll take care of him. *no need just yet to mention his plans to have the kitten stay at Uncail Rory's where she can see him all the time*
Chuck: *letting go of Bagel so she can hug Liam, the orange ball of fur slips further down in her shirt and is, for the moment, trapped against her belly and a layer of baby blue cotton* Thank you. Thank you so, so, so much. *Not only for keeping the cat, but offering before she could screw up the courage to even ask.*
Liam: *careful not to squash the kitten between them, Liam returns her hug, running his hand along her back. He knows he needs to talk to Chuck about why she didn't just come out and ask him, but he can't bring himself to maybe ruin this moment. In a few minutes, maybe ...*
Chuck: *between the feeling of Bagel moving around against her side and Liam's caresses, Chuck is close to purring herself. She hasn't felt this good or happy in a while and she's afraid of saying the wrong thing now and ending it. She doesn't want Liam to wordlessly stare at her again then walk away from her. Doesn't want to upset him in any way.* I...love you. *she offers it quietly, wincing after the words are out, scared that he doesn't want to hear that from her.*
Liam: *But you don't trust me. Liam pushes those words aside for a little longer* I love you too, sugar. *He knows that Val is right, that it will take patience to help Chuck out of the mistrust others have instilled in her. He still feels out of his depth, though*
Chuck: *Bagel chooses now to voice displeasure at being trapped and Chuck lifts her shirt to let the fuzzy thing tumble onto her lap and scamper free* I wasn't so sure you did. *There's some of that honesty, quiet and almost distracted as she focuses on the kitten instead of the young man she's speaking to.*
Liam: No? *he keeps softly stroking his pretty Pixie, hoping that they can get past some of the hard truths a little more easily with touch to help soothe and reassure* Why not?
Chuck: *she shakes her head, presses her lips into a thin line.* HmMmm...no. *buries her feet under the hay only to have kitten investigate the movement. Chuck ignores the pouncing and leans forward to rest her arms across her knees and curl into herself as she talks, not looking at Liam but not moving away from his touch, exactly.* You...you left me in the hallway and stayed in your room all night then you just kept staying away from me. I thought you wanted to be with your horses more. *She clearly doesn't understand his reaction to her words after his fight with Marcus, she thought she had been reassuring him that it's going to be okay and she won't hate him if he needs to hit her the way he beat on Marcus.* Val said people don't stop loving you that easily but I don't know if he's right or not.
Liam: *his hands stay where they are, but his gaze wanders down to the toes of his boots* I can't speak for people in general, but I know that I don't stop loving that easily. *he supposes it would be easier if he could, but that's not the way he's made. He keeps his voice quiet and even, trying to be as straightforward as possible* I took some time by myself because I needed to. I was hurt and scared and confused, and I needed to think. Doesn't mean I care about you any less, Pixie.
Chuck: *assumes he means because of fighting with Marcus and not due to her words* You could have told me that. I thought I did something wrong.
Liam: *the memory makes his throat tighten* You'd just told me you don't trust me anymore. I wasn't sure you'd believe anything I had to say right then.
Chuck: *that gets her to look at him* I told you I'll still love you. It's okay, Liam. I'm not going to hate you for hitting me. I promise I won't. And I'll try not to do anything to make you need to, okay? *Chuck gives him a smile and places a hand on his knee.* You're still the only person I want to be with.
Liam: *it's his turn to shake his head, slowly and firmly.* I'm sorry, sugar, but it's not okay. It hurts to think that you're just waiting for me to do something I've sworn to you that I'll never do, and it scares me to think you'll never trust me again. And the fact that you're willing to stay with someone you honestly believe is going to beat you up someday scares the hell out of me. *takes a deep breath and lets it out in a shaky exhale* I know there are reasons why you think and feel like this, and I sure won't give up on us because of them. I love you and I'll do anything I can to help us through this ... but it's not okay.
Chuck: *recoils as if stung by his words, hanging her head and hugging her knees to her chest again. Great, she's screwed up, messed things up and now he's not going to be happy with her. This is why she never talks about things. She knows it's not right, but it's the way things are and it embarrasses her.* I'm sorry.
Liam: Chuck ... *her flinch makes him wince, and he tries to think of some way to bring her earlier smile back* Pixie, there's no blame here, and nothing to be sorry about. I'm not angry with you. I hope you're not angry with me. *he strokes her hair again, trying to tell her with his caress that he's here, he's not going to leave her* Every couple has things they need to work through, right? Shoot, if my parents had cut and run whenever a problem came up, they'd never have stayed together long enough to have me. *Bagel chooses this moment to request more attention by head-butting the tiny girl's arm*
Chuck: *picks up Bagel and tucks him under her chin* Do they fight a lot? My parents did. *oh, the shouting matches they'd have and then her father would go to work and Jackie would lock herself in the bedroom and cry, but neither one ever took it to a physical level.* I'm not mad at you, Liam. I'm...*clearly searching for a word that fits* sad and disappointed but it's okay, it is okay. You and Marcus aren't any different from anyone else, I don't know why I thought you were. That's all. I'm sorry I wanted you to be what you aren't.
Liam: *slips his arm back around her, hoping she won't flinch again* They argue sometimes. They can both be pretty stubborn. But the anger doesn't seem to last for long. *he tickles Pancake's tummy as he ponders his next words* Tiny, I understand why you're disappointed in me for fighting with my cousin. I'm disappointed in me because I fought with my cousin. But making the jump all the way from me getting in a fist fight with Marcus to me whaling on you sometime in the future ... I don't know what you thought I was beforehand, but that's a pretty skewed picture of what I am now. If you can't see that distinction right now, then I'll try to understand, but I hope you can try at some point. And I'll just have to not reinforce that picture.
Chuck: *puts Bagel down again and then takes Pancake from Liam before moving to sit in his lap. She wants to take comfort in him, wants to be held. She also wants to take a better look at his face, her hand coming up to let fingertips gently brush at the bruising around his eye* I saw you two. You were angry and intentionally trying to hurt each other. The look on your face was the same one that the Snowflake gets when he hits me. Or kicks me. Or shoves me. Or...*stops the littany of abuses, she really doesn't need to tell him all the ways the boy hurts or tries to hurt her* You hit people when you get mad at them. Now I know. Is that what scares you, Liam? That I know?
Liam: *his blue eyes grow sadder as she lists things Jeremy has done to her, but he lets the subject go when she drops it* I'm ashamed that you saw us fighting, Pixie, but what you think you know is based on an over-generalization. *logic and reason have always been two of Chuck's strengths. He doubts they can overcome her gut reaction to what she saw all at once, but maybe they can start chipping away at it* I don't "hit people when I get mad at them". Marcus and I hit each other, yes, but he's one of the very few people I ever have gotten in that kind of fight with. *God, he wishes he could show her all the provocations and taunts he's walked away from because he knew he was too strong for his would-be opponent* I have never and would never trade blows with someone who couldn't defend themselves. Especially not you. And I'm perfectly capable of saying "this is wrong, never again" and sticking to it.
Chuck: *as he talks, Chuck slides her finger along his cheekbone and then down the side of his face and along his jaw, and while she can see the logic in what he says, what she feels is completely opposite.* Why did you hit him at all, Liam?
Liam: *looking her in the eyes, he gives her the honest truth* Because I was angry and because he hit me. *shakes his head* I'm not trying to make Marcus out to be the bad guy though. Who hit whom first doesn't matter so much right now. *nor does the fact that he tried more than once to warn Marcus off, not when his warnings were phrased more or less as back off or get your ass kicked* But most of the time, nearly all of the time, I back off and walk away. I'm sorry I didn't this time, but I don't just hit anyone who makes me angry.
Chuck: *holds his gaze for a long while, not saying anything but watching him thoughtfully. Eventually, her voice soft,* Okay. I believe you. *and she still won't leave him when he does fail to walk away and hits her instead, but she's not going to say it again and upset him more*
Liam: *he's still looking into her eyes when she says it, and so can still see the flickers of mistrust in their dark depths. Well, he knew it wasn't going to be easy. With a sad sigh he tucks her against him and rests his cheek on her hair* All I can do is tell you the truth, Pixie ... and live by the truth I tell you. So that's exactly what I'm doing. What you believe is up to you. *he gently scoops up Bagel and tucks him back into the little sylph's lap* I will never raise a hand to hurt you, in anger or otherwise. That's the truth. Do with it whatever you have to do with it.
Chuck: *runs a hand over Bagel's back and smiles at the resulting purr* They do that when they're happy, right? *because the kitten is easier to talk about than this much bigger, darker, complicated thing and she can tell it's only making Liam sad*
Liam: *his eyes are still sad, but he smiles anyway* Yeah, they do. When they're happy, content, and sometimes when they want attention. *he rubs the back of the catling's head*
Chuck: Oh. Will you give him lots of love for me when I have to go back home? *since he's petting the kitten, Chuck moves her hand to his and then slides it along his forearm. Liams need attention too.* I'm not afraid of you, just so you know. *she adds the comment suddenly, almost as an afterthought. She isn't afraid, just resigned. She's never afraid when her stepbrother beats her either, she accepts it and waits for it to be over so she can cry and deal with the pain.*
Liam: Course I will, sugar. *he doesn't respond to her last comment, just keeps stroking Bagel. If anything, her words make it worse. If he truly could do what she now believes him capable of, she should be afraid of him. Not that he wants her to be, but ... fuck. Fuck.*
Chuck: *tips her head back just enough to kiss his neck, not looking up to meet his eyes* Lucky Bagel, getting to stay with you. Is he too little to wear a collar? *already her little mind is making a list of things she needs to get to take care of the puff of fur. She dotes on her fishies, she'll do what she can for a kitty that lives with her boyfriend in Montanaland too*
Liam: *gives her a squeeze* A little bit, yeah. I'd wait at least until he's weaned.
Chuck: *goes back to petting Bagel* How long is that?
Liam: We usually let them stay with mom-cat until they're ten to twelve weeks old. Whether or not she nurses them that long is up to her, but they're nibbling solid food already. *Muffin curls up by his thigh with a yawn*
Chuck: *plays with Bagel's little tail, twirling it around until he nips at her for the indignity* I am not food, Bagel. *sighs and rests against his chest, relaxing a bit more* Is he going to live out here with Maggie and all the...?*she sort of looks towards the loft's drop off, meaning the horses below them* How do you know what they eat if they are out here?
Liam: *gently skritches Muffin* We feed Maggie-momcat of course. We're bringing out extra now because the little ones are tasting her food. *he's starting to relax a little more himself*
Chuck: *picks Bagel up and deposits him in her tank top for better snuggling again, this way she can hug Liam and the cat can sit between them* Do you think he'll remember me if I ever come back here to visit?
Liam: *kisses her forehead* He'll remember you, sugar.
Chuck: *looks up at him* Does that mean you want me to come back again?
Liam: *strokes her hair* Of course I do.
Chuck: *sighs and nuzzles against his shoulder before murmuring,* I know it's still June but I don't want August to come. I'll miss you so much when I have to go back to school.
Liam: I'll miss you too. *snuggles her a little more closely* But I'll call all the time, and I'll find times to come out and see you.
Chuck: *nods* Liam?
Liam: Yeah Chuck?
Chuck: *hesitates a moment and then finally asks something that's been bugging her ever since she realized the sort of deal Marcus and Rina have with each other* WHen I go back to New York...are...I mean...will you...are you going to want to date other girls that live here?
Liam: *nearly eyerolls at the pixie not getting it, then reminds himself that spelling things out isn't a bad thing* No, I won't.
Chuck: I'm...glad. *relieved, grateful, thankful...*
Liam: *just keeps holding her, trying not to think about all the complications his own words entail. They're the truth, regardless*
Chuck: *stays where she is, quiet and content to be held for the longest time then she finally laughs softly. Bagel's fallen asleep in her shirt.* There's a cold-wet kitty nose on my boob.
Liam: *chuckles* He looks comfortable. Should I be jealous?
Chuck: *reaches up to poke the tip of his nose* You want to sleep with your face in my boobs?
Liam: *teasing* Well, maybe not sleep ...
Chuck: *bops his nose with her fingertip again* Then you shouldn't be jealous cause Bagels only get to sleep there.
Liam: True. *strokes the tiny fuzzy head with a fingertip* Plus I'd do awful things to your tank top if I tried to fit in there like that.
Chuck: *tries not to laugh too much, not wanting to wake the kitten* If that's what you wanted I'd just take it off...
Liam: Mmm. *nuzzles her ear* Later.
Chuck: Really? *a slow smile lights up her face as she thinks about the possibility* What about Marcus...? *sleeping arrangements being a bit juggled with the redhead's father there now as well*
Liam: Marcus can cope with me staying in your room for part of the time. *nuzzling continues down to her neck*
Chuck: *so that's what his plan is...and she cranes her neck to give him more room, ever mindful of where he is and where Bagel still sleeps* Mmm...I want lots of kisses then.
Liam: *laughs softly, also being careful of the kitten* Me too.
Chuck: All over. *she clarifies, running a hand through his hair*
Liam: *nuzzles turn to earlobe-nibbles* Definitely.
Chuck: *words turn to whimpers*
...
Liam: *gently knocks on the door* Pixie?
Chuck: *closes her laptop and looks towards the door from her place on the bedroom floor* It's not locked, you can come in...
Liam: *opens the door and pokes his head in* Hey, pretty girl. *comes in and closes the door behind him* I was wondering if you might like to get out of the house for a bit. We could head up to the creek or go play with the kittens or something.
Chuck: *sits up and looks at him, a little surprised* You want to spend time with me?
Liam: *sits down facing her* Sure I do.
Chuck: *brushes her hair out of her face* You've been staying away from me, I...*looks at the floor, she pretty well told Val that she didn't even think Liam wanted to still date her let alone love her* What do you want to do? Do you want to go up to the creek or play play with Bagel or what? *Bagel, not the kittens, Bagel*
Liam: *picks up one of her hands in both of his and looks gravely into her eyes* I want to know what you want, sugar. You can tell me, you know.
Chuck: I want to do whatever you want, Liam. *manages a lopsided smile for him*
Liam: *He's careful to keep his frustration out of his voice, letting his tone stay calm and reasonable* Pixie Girl, you've never before been shy about expressing your opinion to me. You don't have to be now, either. *returns a small smile*
Chuck: *looks at the floor between them* Can we go play with Bagel...and the rest of the kittens? *she's going to miss the orange ball of fluff when he's gone*
Liam: *his smile widens a little* We sure can. *kisses the hand he's holding before he stands up* C'mon, sugar.
Chuck: *lets him pull her up* Do I need my shoes? *because they are under the bed and they are heading for the door*
Liam: *chuckles* I could carry you. But if you'd rather get your shoes, go ahead.
Chuck: *makes a face at him* No. I hope it's cold out and then I will put my froze toes on you. Maybe.
Liam: *grins* As you wish, Pixie Queen. *kneels in front of her, facing away* Climb on and we'll go find you a Bagel.
Chuck: *looks at him like he's lost his mind, she was planning to walk barefoot. It's a novelty to her, outside anyway* Country Boy, you haz problems. *but she climbs on, piggyback style anyway*
Liam: *chuckles as he stands up, bouncing her a little to settle her comfortably on his back* Why do I have problems? Because I like carrying you?
Chuck: *her arms loop around his shoulders and she takes the opportunity to nuzzle the back of his neck with her lips. She's missed kissing him the last few days.* Because I said so. Still, me am keeping you, frand.
Liam: *makes a contented humming sound at the feel of her lips on his nape, his head droops forward a bit* That's good to know, Tiny. *carts her down the stairs and to the door* Open? *turns at an angle so she can reach the doorknob*
Chuck: Must I do everything? *gives an exasperated sigh followed by a soft laugh as she fumbles with the doorknob before managing to get it open.* Your mom is giving us a funny look...just so you know.
Liam: Is she? *laughs as he heads out the door, then reverses the move so Chuck can close it* No worries. I get weird looks from Mam for all sorts of reasons.
Chuck: Because you are weird. *Chuck confirms as she closes the door*
Liam: *starts loping toward the barn* There is that. There's also the "Sweet Jesus you just reminded me of your Uncle Wes" look, the "how in the blue corn hell did you get it into your head to do that" look, the "you must've gotten that from your Da because you sure as shootin' didn't get it from me" look ... all kinds.
Chuck: *clings tighter because she so does not want to be dropped or fall* Is there a 'Please to not be dropping your girlfrand on her butt' look?
Liam: Don't you worry, sugar. *gives her thighs a squeeze* I won't drop you, on your butt or anything else.
Chuck: *tries to do as he asks but ends up mostly squeezing him more tightly between her thighs and lacing her fingers together as her arms stay looped around his shoulders*
Liam: *enters the barn and carefully lowers Chucklet to the floor* There you are, all safe and sound.
Chuck: *and she immediately backs up against the nearest wall, not only are there horses in stalls but there's Marcus with Sheba in the cross ties, being groomed*
Liam: Hey, it's okay. *slides an arm around her shoulders and places himself between her and sight of anything equine* C'mon, the loft and the kittens are right over here. *guides her over to the ladder*
Chuck: *Marcus gives him a look like 'this is NOT the creek, dummy' but says nothing as he watches Chuck scoot towards the ladder, hoping she won't scream and spook every animal in the barn*
Liam: *gives Chuck a gentle hug* You're all right, sugar. I'm right behind you. And look, there's Maggie-cat saying hi. *mama cat does indeed look down the ladder and make an inquiring noise*
Chuck: *don't scream, don't scream, don't scream...Chuck is barely breathing as she climbs the ladder, afraid that if she has actual air in her lungs she will yell and scream. Instead, she scrambles up to the loft before answering Liam or acknowledging the cat* Kitty kitty...
Liam: *climbs up right behind his Pixie, sending soothing, quieting thoughts to the horses and smiling as Chuck gets greeted by Maggie's dignified purr and an assortment of excited kitten merrps* Looks like your friends missed you.
Chuck: *below them, Marcus finishes his tasks and puts Sheba in her stall before excusing himself quietly, he has a RIna to call. Chuck, on the other hand, crawls across the loft floor until she comes to a pile of loose hay and an orange tabby kitten mowing loudly.* Hewwo Bagel. *she scoops him up and kisses his hay dust covered head* Me missed you too. *tucking the kitten in her tank top, she looks over at Liam. * Me missed you, Liam.
Liam: *settling himself next to her, he puts his arm back around her shoulders and gives Bagel's little orange head a scratch* Missed you too, Tiny. *he can't help but smile as kittens seem to appear from everywhere, but his eyes are still thoughtful*
Chuck: *Bagel seems content, for the moment, to snuggle in Chuck's shirt, against her warm skin and he purrs contently while doing so.* He has a motor in his tummy, his whole body vibrates. *it's not long before Muffin and Waffle, Pancake and a few others are scrambling over Liam and Chuck looking for attention. The tiny Blonde rests her head on Liam's shoulder and keeps one hand against Bagel, the other doling out pettings to various kittens* Do you like your horses more than you like me?
Liam: *Muffin immediately starts kneading his thigh while Waffle bats at the cuff of his jeans* No. *a simple, straightforward answer, breathed softly against Chuck's hair. If she has a deeper question she wants answered, she'll have to come out with it, he thinks. Liam doesn't feel confident enough to play guessing games*
Chuck: *has quite a few questions but for now she focuses on Bagel and dipping her head to kiss his face, laughing at the whiskers tickling her nose* You the bestest kitten evar. Yes, you. Mew? *Chuck mows back and forth with the kitten, surprised when Maggie cat comes over to investigate*
Liam: *watches as Maggie sniffs both Chuck and her kitten inquisitively* Maybe she thinks you're a big kitten. *hesitates while he tickles Bagel's ears, then says softly* We can keep him, you know.
Chuck: *raises her head ever so slowly at Liam's words, not sure if she heard him correctly* You can keep him, Bagel? You don't have to give him away? *she's not sure if she wants to smile or cry at the idea of 'her' kitten staying with Liam for good* You'd take care of him for me?
Liam: Yes, he can stay. *gently brushes a lock of her hair off her forehead, looking into her eyes* And of course I'll take care of him. *no need just yet to mention his plans to have the kitten stay at Uncail Rory's where she can see him all the time*
Chuck: *letting go of Bagel so she can hug Liam, the orange ball of fur slips further down in her shirt and is, for the moment, trapped against her belly and a layer of baby blue cotton* Thank you. Thank you so, so, so much. *Not only for keeping the cat, but offering before she could screw up the courage to even ask.*
Liam: *careful not to squash the kitten between them, Liam returns her hug, running his hand along her back. He knows he needs to talk to Chuck about why she didn't just come out and ask him, but he can't bring himself to maybe ruin this moment. In a few minutes, maybe ...*
Chuck: *between the feeling of Bagel moving around against her side and Liam's caresses, Chuck is close to purring herself. She hasn't felt this good or happy in a while and she's afraid of saying the wrong thing now and ending it. She doesn't want Liam to wordlessly stare at her again then walk away from her. Doesn't want to upset him in any way.* I...love you. *she offers it quietly, wincing after the words are out, scared that he doesn't want to hear that from her.*
Liam: *But you don't trust me. Liam pushes those words aside for a little longer* I love you too, sugar. *He knows that Val is right, that it will take patience to help Chuck out of the mistrust others have instilled in her. He still feels out of his depth, though*
Chuck: *Bagel chooses now to voice displeasure at being trapped and Chuck lifts her shirt to let the fuzzy thing tumble onto her lap and scamper free* I wasn't so sure you did. *There's some of that honesty, quiet and almost distracted as she focuses on the kitten instead of the young man she's speaking to.*
Liam: No? *he keeps softly stroking his pretty Pixie, hoping that they can get past some of the hard truths a little more easily with touch to help soothe and reassure* Why not?
Chuck: *she shakes her head, presses her lips into a thin line.* HmMmm...no. *buries her feet under the hay only to have kitten investigate the movement. Chuck ignores the pouncing and leans forward to rest her arms across her knees and curl into herself as she talks, not looking at Liam but not moving away from his touch, exactly.* You...you left me in the hallway and stayed in your room all night then you just kept staying away from me. I thought you wanted to be with your horses more. *She clearly doesn't understand his reaction to her words after his fight with Marcus, she thought she had been reassuring him that it's going to be okay and she won't hate him if he needs to hit her the way he beat on Marcus.* Val said people don't stop loving you that easily but I don't know if he's right or not.
Liam: *his hands stay where they are, but his gaze wanders down to the toes of his boots* I can't speak for people in general, but I know that I don't stop loving that easily. *he supposes it would be easier if he could, but that's not the way he's made. He keeps his voice quiet and even, trying to be as straightforward as possible* I took some time by myself because I needed to. I was hurt and scared and confused, and I needed to think. Doesn't mean I care about you any less, Pixie.
Chuck: *assumes he means because of fighting with Marcus and not due to her words* You could have told me that. I thought I did something wrong.
Liam: *the memory makes his throat tighten* You'd just told me you don't trust me anymore. I wasn't sure you'd believe anything I had to say right then.
Chuck: *that gets her to look at him* I told you I'll still love you. It's okay, Liam. I'm not going to hate you for hitting me. I promise I won't. And I'll try not to do anything to make you need to, okay? *Chuck gives him a smile and places a hand on his knee.* You're still the only person I want to be with.
Liam: *it's his turn to shake his head, slowly and firmly.* I'm sorry, sugar, but it's not okay. It hurts to think that you're just waiting for me to do something I've sworn to you that I'll never do, and it scares me to think you'll never trust me again. And the fact that you're willing to stay with someone you honestly believe is going to beat you up someday scares the hell out of me. *takes a deep breath and lets it out in a shaky exhale* I know there are reasons why you think and feel like this, and I sure won't give up on us because of them. I love you and I'll do anything I can to help us through this ... but it's not okay.
Chuck: *recoils as if stung by his words, hanging her head and hugging her knees to her chest again. Great, she's screwed up, messed things up and now he's not going to be happy with her. This is why she never talks about things. She knows it's not right, but it's the way things are and it embarrasses her.* I'm sorry.
Liam: Chuck ... *her flinch makes him wince, and he tries to think of some way to bring her earlier smile back* Pixie, there's no blame here, and nothing to be sorry about. I'm not angry with you. I hope you're not angry with me. *he strokes her hair again, trying to tell her with his caress that he's here, he's not going to leave her* Every couple has things they need to work through, right? Shoot, if my parents had cut and run whenever a problem came up, they'd never have stayed together long enough to have me. *Bagel chooses this moment to request more attention by head-butting the tiny girl's arm*
Chuck: *picks up Bagel and tucks him under her chin* Do they fight a lot? My parents did. *oh, the shouting matches they'd have and then her father would go to work and Jackie would lock herself in the bedroom and cry, but neither one ever took it to a physical level.* I'm not mad at you, Liam. I'm...*clearly searching for a word that fits* sad and disappointed but it's okay, it is okay. You and Marcus aren't any different from anyone else, I don't know why I thought you were. That's all. I'm sorry I wanted you to be what you aren't.
Liam: *slips his arm back around her, hoping she won't flinch again* They argue sometimes. They can both be pretty stubborn. But the anger doesn't seem to last for long. *he tickles Pancake's tummy as he ponders his next words* Tiny, I understand why you're disappointed in me for fighting with my cousin. I'm disappointed in me because I fought with my cousin. But making the jump all the way from me getting in a fist fight with Marcus to me whaling on you sometime in the future ... I don't know what you thought I was beforehand, but that's a pretty skewed picture of what I am now. If you can't see that distinction right now, then I'll try to understand, but I hope you can try at some point. And I'll just have to not reinforce that picture.
Chuck: *puts Bagel down again and then takes Pancake from Liam before moving to sit in his lap. She wants to take comfort in him, wants to be held. She also wants to take a better look at his face, her hand coming up to let fingertips gently brush at the bruising around his eye* I saw you two. You were angry and intentionally trying to hurt each other. The look on your face was the same one that the Snowflake gets when he hits me. Or kicks me. Or shoves me. Or...*stops the littany of abuses, she really doesn't need to tell him all the ways the boy hurts or tries to hurt her* You hit people when you get mad at them. Now I know. Is that what scares you, Liam? That I know?
Liam: *his blue eyes grow sadder as she lists things Jeremy has done to her, but he lets the subject go when she drops it* I'm ashamed that you saw us fighting, Pixie, but what you think you know is based on an over-generalization. *logic and reason have always been two of Chuck's strengths. He doubts they can overcome her gut reaction to what she saw all at once, but maybe they can start chipping away at it* I don't "hit people when I get mad at them". Marcus and I hit each other, yes, but he's one of the very few people I ever have gotten in that kind of fight with. *God, he wishes he could show her all the provocations and taunts he's walked away from because he knew he was too strong for his would-be opponent* I have never and would never trade blows with someone who couldn't defend themselves. Especially not you. And I'm perfectly capable of saying "this is wrong, never again" and sticking to it.
Chuck: *as he talks, Chuck slides her finger along his cheekbone and then down the side of his face and along his jaw, and while she can see the logic in what he says, what she feels is completely opposite.* Why did you hit him at all, Liam?
Liam: *looking her in the eyes, he gives her the honest truth* Because I was angry and because he hit me. *shakes his head* I'm not trying to make Marcus out to be the bad guy though. Who hit whom first doesn't matter so much right now. *nor does the fact that he tried more than once to warn Marcus off, not when his warnings were phrased more or less as back off or get your ass kicked* But most of the time, nearly all of the time, I back off and walk away. I'm sorry I didn't this time, but I don't just hit anyone who makes me angry.
Chuck: *holds his gaze for a long while, not saying anything but watching him thoughtfully. Eventually, her voice soft,* Okay. I believe you. *and she still won't leave him when he does fail to walk away and hits her instead, but she's not going to say it again and upset him more*
Liam: *he's still looking into her eyes when she says it, and so can still see the flickers of mistrust in their dark depths. Well, he knew it wasn't going to be easy. With a sad sigh he tucks her against him and rests his cheek on her hair* All I can do is tell you the truth, Pixie ... and live by the truth I tell you. So that's exactly what I'm doing. What you believe is up to you. *he gently scoops up Bagel and tucks him back into the little sylph's lap* I will never raise a hand to hurt you, in anger or otherwise. That's the truth. Do with it whatever you have to do with it.
Chuck: *runs a hand over Bagel's back and smiles at the resulting purr* They do that when they're happy, right? *because the kitten is easier to talk about than this much bigger, darker, complicated thing and she can tell it's only making Liam sad*
Liam: *his eyes are still sad, but he smiles anyway* Yeah, they do. When they're happy, content, and sometimes when they want attention. *he rubs the back of the catling's head*
Chuck: Oh. Will you give him lots of love for me when I have to go back home? *since he's petting the kitten, Chuck moves her hand to his and then slides it along his forearm. Liams need attention too.* I'm not afraid of you, just so you know. *she adds the comment suddenly, almost as an afterthought. She isn't afraid, just resigned. She's never afraid when her stepbrother beats her either, she accepts it and waits for it to be over so she can cry and deal with the pain.*
Liam: Course I will, sugar. *he doesn't respond to her last comment, just keeps stroking Bagel. If anything, her words make it worse. If he truly could do what she now believes him capable of, she should be afraid of him. Not that he wants her to be, but ... fuck. Fuck.*
Chuck: *tips her head back just enough to kiss his neck, not looking up to meet his eyes* Lucky Bagel, getting to stay with you. Is he too little to wear a collar? *already her little mind is making a list of things she needs to get to take care of the puff of fur. She dotes on her fishies, she'll do what she can for a kitty that lives with her boyfriend in Montanaland too*
Liam: *gives her a squeeze* A little bit, yeah. I'd wait at least until he's weaned.
Chuck: *goes back to petting Bagel* How long is that?
Liam: We usually let them stay with mom-cat until they're ten to twelve weeks old. Whether or not she nurses them that long is up to her, but they're nibbling solid food already. *Muffin curls up by his thigh with a yawn*
Chuck: *plays with Bagel's little tail, twirling it around until he nips at her for the indignity* I am not food, Bagel. *sighs and rests against his chest, relaxing a bit more* Is he going to live out here with Maggie and all the...?*she sort of looks towards the loft's drop off, meaning the horses below them* How do you know what they eat if they are out here?
Liam: *gently skritches Muffin* We feed Maggie-momcat of course. We're bringing out extra now because the little ones are tasting her food. *he's starting to relax a little more himself*
Chuck: *picks Bagel up and deposits him in her tank top for better snuggling again, this way she can hug Liam and the cat can sit between them* Do you think he'll remember me if I ever come back here to visit?
Liam: *kisses her forehead* He'll remember you, sugar.
Chuck: *looks up at him* Does that mean you want me to come back again?
Liam: *strokes her hair* Of course I do.
Chuck: *sighs and nuzzles against his shoulder before murmuring,* I know it's still June but I don't want August to come. I'll miss you so much when I have to go back to school.
Liam: I'll miss you too. *snuggles her a little more closely* But I'll call all the time, and I'll find times to come out and see you.
Chuck: *nods* Liam?
Liam: Yeah Chuck?
Chuck: *hesitates a moment and then finally asks something that's been bugging her ever since she realized the sort of deal Marcus and Rina have with each other* WHen I go back to New York...are...I mean...will you...are you going to want to date other girls that live here?
Liam: *nearly eyerolls at the pixie not getting it, then reminds himself that spelling things out isn't a bad thing* No, I won't.
Chuck: I'm...glad. *relieved, grateful, thankful...*
Liam: *just keeps holding her, trying not to think about all the complications his own words entail. They're the truth, regardless*
Chuck: *stays where she is, quiet and content to be held for the longest time then she finally laughs softly. Bagel's fallen asleep in her shirt.* There's a cold-wet kitty nose on my boob.
Liam: *chuckles* He looks comfortable. Should I be jealous?
Chuck: *reaches up to poke the tip of his nose* You want to sleep with your face in my boobs?
Liam: *teasing* Well, maybe not sleep ...
Chuck: *bops his nose with her fingertip again* Then you shouldn't be jealous cause Bagels only get to sleep there.
Liam: True. *strokes the tiny fuzzy head with a fingertip* Plus I'd do awful things to your tank top if I tried to fit in there like that.
Chuck: *tries not to laugh too much, not wanting to wake the kitten* If that's what you wanted I'd just take it off...
Liam: Mmm. *nuzzles her ear* Later.
Chuck: Really? *a slow smile lights up her face as she thinks about the possibility* What about Marcus...? *sleeping arrangements being a bit juggled with the redhead's father there now as well*
Liam: Marcus can cope with me staying in your room for part of the time. *nuzzling continues down to her neck*
Chuck: *so that's what his plan is...and she cranes her neck to give him more room, ever mindful of where he is and where Bagel still sleeps* Mmm...I want lots of kisses then.
Liam: *laughs softly, also being careful of the kitten* Me too.
Chuck: All over. *she clarifies, running a hand through his hair*
Liam: *nuzzles turn to earlobe-nibbles* Definitely.
Chuck: *words turn to whimpers*
...