I am everything you think I'm not.
I like to go shopping. I own multiple handbags. That does not make me girly.
I buy everything in pink if it comes in that shade, even if it costs more (or less.) That doesn't make me girly either.
I like dancing. I like bellydancing, even. That does make me girly. Or feminine.
Oh, and here's the kicker that I should talk about more publically: I've never had sex. I'm learning not to be ashamed of that in a culture that likes to shame me for it, so here you go. Judge. And before you ask, no, I don't identify as asexual. I probably am, but I don't find the word suits me.
I like to live in jeans and tank tops or sweaters, and I do think that makes me feminine. I like body hugging clothing, and I pick the cut of my jeans so the fabric makes it look like I have hips. My sneakers are purple/anthracite, and they're the coolest fucking shoes I own except for the green faux-Converses with heels. And sometimes I dress up and wear a skirt and shave for the occasion, and then I'm also feminine. (And my purse is decidedly smaller so as to be more graceful.)
My point? I hate the idea that there's anything attached to these things, that they are "feminine" or "masculine" or "good" or "bad". I like being a woman, I'm cis-gendered and that makes me lucky, but I'm finding that it's still hard to be a woman in this world. So much pressure is put on women to be a certain way, to do a certain thing, and bucking that is difficult or expensive or just plain judged.
Being feminine, for me, is tied up in how I am perceived, whereas being a woman feels like it's being me. I do "feminine", more often than not, as a performance. I also do "masculine" as a performance. Somewhere in between there is me in jeans and a tank top and a handbag because I need more shit than I can carry in my pockets, just being something that I can't define beyond, Vera, woman, hi. And I'm feeling like that, too, should be feminine, but I live in a world that tells me it kind of isn't.
--
Inspired by this post.
I buy everything in pink if it comes in that shade, even if it costs more (or less.) That doesn't make me girly either.
I like dancing. I like bellydancing, even. That does make me girly. Or feminine.
Oh, and here's the kicker that I should talk about more publically: I've never had sex. I'm learning not to be ashamed of that in a culture that likes to shame me for it, so here you go. Judge. And before you ask, no, I don't identify as asexual. I probably am, but I don't find the word suits me.
I like to live in jeans and tank tops or sweaters, and I do think that makes me feminine. I like body hugging clothing, and I pick the cut of my jeans so the fabric makes it look like I have hips. My sneakers are purple/anthracite, and they're the coolest fucking shoes I own except for the green faux-Converses with heels. And sometimes I dress up and wear a skirt and shave for the occasion, and then I'm also feminine. (And my purse is decidedly smaller so as to be more graceful.)
My point? I hate the idea that there's anything attached to these things, that they are "feminine" or "masculine" or "good" or "bad". I like being a woman, I'm cis-gendered and that makes me lucky, but I'm finding that it's still hard to be a woman in this world. So much pressure is put on women to be a certain way, to do a certain thing, and bucking that is difficult or expensive or just plain judged.
Being feminine, for me, is tied up in how I am perceived, whereas being a woman feels like it's being me. I do "feminine", more often than not, as a performance. I also do "masculine" as a performance. Somewhere in between there is me in jeans and a tank top and a handbag because I need more shit than I can carry in my pockets, just being something that I can't define beyond, Vera, woman, hi. And I'm feeling like that, too, should be feminine, but I live in a world that tells me it kind of isn't.
--
Inspired by this post.