Lost...
Ok so I am just as Amy described "A big ball of stress". The computer pop ups are NOT helping! I am sick of updating with complaints or talking to people about my problems. It's getting old but I am just not feeling better. And right now I can't blame the stress on hormones although I am getting a cold.
Right as I told my job that I am thinking of leaving they tell me that they need me to open a new infant room. They tell me how important I am and that I am an exceptional teacher. I am flattered by all of this and because I haven't found anything else I agreed to it although there will be a lot of upset people (the families I work for, my co-workers, the kids) Sigh...and then I think "I cannot keep this job and still live in Rutland. The commute is driving me crazy. SO I begin to contemplate a move...it's so expensive...who to live with...and the conversation with Eric about it didn't help at all. He really doesn't want me to move far away and has issues moving far from Sterling. Gargh! He still isn't working so that means I really have to just forget about moving anywhere with him and that is what I really would like to do.
SO last night I got pissed...and I e-mailed a BUNCH of Early Intervention centers telling them I would be available to work in September and I said to myself whoever contacts me I will go there and interview...if I like it I move. Period. So I get an e-mail today from a place in PLymouth. I love Plymouth. Its a beautiful town...eric would never move there...I would be alone...but the job might kick ass. I don't know...I sent them my resume so we shall see right?
Everyone I talk to tells me to "do whats makes me happy" Eric says in the car yesterday "I don't want to hold you back, do what you need to do."
THIS is the problem. I don't know what to do...what will make me happy. Shouldn't I be happy? I have a good job, I'm saving money, have a lot of love around me and family.
I just want to not be stressed
I want my health to be better
I want a garden and a big bed
I want to read books on a sunporch
I want to have a job that pays me for what I do and I feel like I make a difference
I want to share my adventures with someone (preferably Eric)
I don't know
BBBBLah
Oh I do have a new kick ass part time job working for the Red Sox which is a great other reason to try and stay close to Boston so I can work games. I'll update more about that later.
I'm done, I think
Anyone want to move to Plymouth with me? :)
Right as I told my job that I am thinking of leaving they tell me that they need me to open a new infant room. They tell me how important I am and that I am an exceptional teacher. I am flattered by all of this and because I haven't found anything else I agreed to it although there will be a lot of upset people (the families I work for, my co-workers, the kids) Sigh...and then I think "I cannot keep this job and still live in Rutland. The commute is driving me crazy. SO I begin to contemplate a move...it's so expensive...who to live with...and the conversation with Eric about it didn't help at all. He really doesn't want me to move far away and has issues moving far from Sterling. Gargh! He still isn't working so that means I really have to just forget about moving anywhere with him and that is what I really would like to do.
SO last night I got pissed...and I e-mailed a BUNCH of Early Intervention centers telling them I would be available to work in September and I said to myself whoever contacts me I will go there and interview...if I like it I move. Period. So I get an e-mail today from a place in PLymouth. I love Plymouth. Its a beautiful town...eric would never move there...I would be alone...but the job might kick ass. I don't know...I sent them my resume so we shall see right?
Everyone I talk to tells me to "do whats makes me happy" Eric says in the car yesterday "I don't want to hold you back, do what you need to do."
THIS is the problem. I don't know what to do...what will make me happy. Shouldn't I be happy? I have a good job, I'm saving money, have a lot of love around me and family.
I just want to not be stressed
I want my health to be better
I want a garden and a big bed
I want to read books on a sunporch
I want to have a job that pays me for what I do and I feel like I make a difference
I want to share my adventures with someone (preferably Eric)
I don't know
BBBBLah
Oh I do have a new kick ass part time job working for the Red Sox which is a great other reason to try and stay close to Boston so I can work games. I'll update more about that later.
I'm done, I think
Anyone want to move to Plymouth with me? :)