Stargates: Unending; First Strike
As always, episode reviews as they happen. Be warned: more cussing than drunk sailor pissing in the sea.
Stargate SG-1: Unending
- Heeh! Cam gets the Shep treatment. not!Birthday. *giggles* What did they do? Flee the SGC and say "Adios, suckers!" to Earth? *giggles* I'd give to see that. Aurela...so they're back in Asgard-land? I wonder why you haven't heard Jackson...what with you being the voice and all. Ray guns in the pool. *giggles* No more Asgard?! WHAT? No!
- Little grey men! No Thor, you're not supposed to die! Damn it. Asgard legacy. Awww. The Fifth Race is humans? How awesome is that. Incapable of helping? Aw, guys. You're gonna make me cry. Ori motherships? WTF? Holy shit, the planet's gonna go boom. Holy shit. No, really. Holy shit. Ori ship goes BOOM, motherfuckers. I'll. With the. Dude. Just, dude. How badass are these people?
- Run y'all, like a motherfucker. Uh oh. You might wanna run. And lose whatever is tracking you. BADASS. Did they just slow time? "I'm gonna go crazy, and I'm going to take you with me." HEH! I love you Vala. Wow, the must hate this thing. Cam, where you going buddy? Oh, Vala. I love you. You're annoying Teal'c. Plan B. Heh. "You've made your point, Son." Hush, Landry. Cam has a right to be upset. Aw, fuck. Fuck Carter on SGA.
- Nice beds on the ship. Damn. And heeh! Vala. You look so cute dressed like that. Cam and Teal'c are fighting. Hmm, I wonder why. Cello. Uh, Sam plays cello, I think that was? When did that happen? Poor Vala, listening to Daniel. I love you Vala. Wow, Daniel, you're an asshole. You know that? Vala, you poor thing. Straight to ego. I would smack the hell out of him. Do it. Bastard. I hate you even more now than I did before this episode. You made her cry. Fuck you and your asshole ways. Kick his ass. I'd turn away, too. He deserves that. Oh, so NOW you kiss her? You giant prick! I hate you. I really, really hate you.
- Vala wants to help? Awesomesauce. See, cello. Good thought, hehe. At least she tried. How long are they stuck there? Vala in skates is awesome. *laugh* They're a family. Christmas. Hehe. Kisses. "I hate this ship." Vala cried! Oh man. And Cam. Wicked temper. And they used CCR, man. Holy shit. They aged a lot. 20 years. Man. Home come they don't look older? Landry's getting a lot older. Oh, god. Long haired Sam's back. Oh, there they look older. Bye Landry. So is this going to be a Dallas thing? A dream? Oh, poor Teal'c. And what are they going to do with the body? Damn you, Skiffy, to the bowels of hell. You're making me sad. I DON'T LIKE BEING SAD YOU FUCKTARD JACKHOLES! You coulda given us a two hour series finale.
- Really old Cam now. Of course she figured it out. Had more time? She's like 80. Heeeh! Go Cam. Damn he's smart. And it throws Sam for a loop every time. They lived 50 years in a matter of seconds. *laugh* "Day over 120." I love you, Vala. They never said I love you but meant it anyway. I love you Vala. Everyone but Daniel. *laugh* So much. And backwards they go. Teal'c that's a heavy burden to carry. Heeh, she's fishing. So awesome. All of them are fishing for information. Aieeeeeeeeeeee!! "Indeed!" And they're all so cute and a family, and just, hell yeah. AND they got it would be heavy for Teal'c to know.
Stargate Atlantis: First Strike
- Head of medicine is a teenager. Interesting. I like Weir, she looks younger there. Why most they make Weir look like 50 when she's not? Keller, you ain't gonna know. You're in charge, deal with it. Rodney, you're bitching again. Hahaha! John cheated. The Apollo? Uh, how the fuck'd you manage that without the Asgard? Go away Apollo man. I don't like you. Pop him one, John, I will totally back your ass up.
- Sure, those ships'll be easy to blow up. Horizon and Apollo?? HELLO, where did they get them from? NO ASGARD. Oh, shut up, Apollo Man. You're useless. Bitch that Colonel out. Fucker's got it coming. Oh, hell yeah he does. Weir's the goddamn leader. Not your sorry ass. Fucking Caldwell reject. I'm with Weir. Weir's pissed, too. They aren't backing her up when she's gone to bat for them, so many times. Colonel Apollo man is like Kinsey meets the military. Fucking reject. Oh, yeah, this is going to work well for you. Really. Because it does so often in Atlantis. And now Shep's gonna have to deal with this shit alone. What? You trying to kill ALL of command? Weir is not happy with the fact she lost control but no one bothered to tell her. I say, honey, you go kick Apollo Man, oh excuse me Colonel Apollo Man, in the balls with a sledgehammer.
- Yes, children, because these people AREN'T replicators. Teyla and Ronon show up. The Replicators are back. Rep-li-cators. Haha. Duck people, DUCK. Yeah, that's gonna last five minutes. See, Apollo Man, you're stupid. Go Weir! Tell his ass off. You pissed her off. Pay the price. Poor Weir, the men make her job so difficult. Neutralize the source. Dude, you want her job? Fuck you. He's just trying to pit them against each other. Meanwhile, fuck the Pegasus Galaxy; IOA's got an agenda to run. John would suck as the leader, I'm just saying. Weir's a damn good leader when the IOA shuts the fuck up and lets her do her job. Teyla, she can't wait for them to calm down and step back. Earth culture is vastly different, as you notice the Colonel showing off his dick just to see how big it. Colonel, shut up, you fucking moron. Heeh! John's "McKay." Go, Rodney, go. Undercut the Colonel's powers. Fucker isn't in charge yet. Asshole that Mr. Apollo Man is. Under the sea! Under the sea! Where things are always better! Weir, sweetie, you might wanna get inside.
- Oh, John. You're such a cute geek boy. "I am not invisible." They're poking at him. Transfer. "Under you." *snickers* "Make out and get it over with?" HAHAHA. I love how they think in patterns. And LORNE. IN THE PLANE. SO HOT. Heeeh! Star drive! Let's hope it works. I love this show at times. When's Weir gonna get sliced to pieces? You know it's gonna happen soon.
[Commerical comment: No, Skiffy, you can't make me watch Painkiller Jane. Ever.]
- Go Weir. Go Weir. Fuck you Colonel. You do not respect her. That much is obvious. General O'Neill can't be too fond, can he? He sent your ass. And SHE recced his ASS for that job. Heh, so happy about fucking up the drilling platform. Five by five! FIVE BY FIVE bitches! He likes the crazy bitches apparently. Head back Lorne, my sweetie. I love you Sheppard. Fly, fly like the wind. Star drives, work honey. Weir knows and understands. Weir, don't go looking! Be careful! No shield to protect you. Dude, SGA: Lost in Space, next year. Meh. I DON'T FUCKING WANT CARTER YOU ASSHOLES.
Stargate SG-1: Unending
- Heeh! Cam gets the Shep treatment. not!Birthday. *giggles* What did they do? Flee the SGC and say "Adios, suckers!" to Earth? *giggles* I'd give to see that. Aurela...so they're back in Asgard-land? I wonder why you haven't heard Jackson...what with you being the voice and all. Ray guns in the pool. *giggles* No more Asgard?! WHAT? No!
- Little grey men! No Thor, you're not supposed to die! Damn it. Asgard legacy. Awww. The Fifth Race is humans? How awesome is that. Incapable of helping? Aw, guys. You're gonna make me cry. Ori motherships? WTF? Holy shit, the planet's gonna go boom. Holy shit. No, really. Holy shit. Ori ship goes BOOM, motherfuckers. I'll. With the. Dude. Just, dude. How badass are these people?
- Run y'all, like a motherfucker. Uh oh. You might wanna run. And lose whatever is tracking you. BADASS. Did they just slow time? "I'm gonna go crazy, and I'm going to take you with me." HEH! I love you Vala. Wow, the must hate this thing. Cam, where you going buddy? Oh, Vala. I love you. You're annoying Teal'c. Plan B. Heh. "You've made your point, Son." Hush, Landry. Cam has a right to be upset. Aw, fuck. Fuck Carter on SGA.
- Nice beds on the ship. Damn. And heeh! Vala. You look so cute dressed like that. Cam and Teal'c are fighting. Hmm, I wonder why. Cello. Uh, Sam plays cello, I think that was? When did that happen? Poor Vala, listening to Daniel. I love you Vala. Wow, Daniel, you're an asshole. You know that? Vala, you poor thing. Straight to ego. I would smack the hell out of him. Do it. Bastard. I hate you even more now than I did before this episode. You made her cry. Fuck you and your asshole ways. Kick his ass. I'd turn away, too. He deserves that. Oh, so NOW you kiss her? You giant prick! I hate you. I really, really hate you.
- Vala wants to help? Awesomesauce. See, cello. Good thought, hehe. At least she tried. How long are they stuck there? Vala in skates is awesome. *laugh* They're a family. Christmas. Hehe. Kisses. "I hate this ship." Vala cried! Oh man. And Cam. Wicked temper. And they used CCR, man. Holy shit. They aged a lot. 20 years. Man. Home come they don't look older? Landry's getting a lot older. Oh, god. Long haired Sam's back. Oh, there they look older. Bye Landry. So is this going to be a Dallas thing? A dream? Oh, poor Teal'c. And what are they going to do with the body? Damn you, Skiffy, to the bowels of hell. You're making me sad. I DON'T LIKE BEING SAD YOU FUCKTARD JACKHOLES! You coulda given us a two hour series finale.
- Really old Cam now. Of course she figured it out. Had more time? She's like 80. Heeeh! Go Cam. Damn he's smart. And it throws Sam for a loop every time. They lived 50 years in a matter of seconds. *laugh* "Day over 120." I love you, Vala. They never said I love you but meant it anyway. I love you Vala. Everyone but Daniel. *laugh* So much. And backwards they go. Teal'c that's a heavy burden to carry. Heeh, she's fishing. So awesome. All of them are fishing for information. Aieeeeeeeeeeee!! "Indeed!" And they're all so cute and a family, and just, hell yeah. AND they got it would be heavy for Teal'c to know.
Stargate Atlantis: First Strike
- Head of medicine is a teenager. Interesting. I like Weir, she looks younger there. Why most they make Weir look like 50 when she's not? Keller, you ain't gonna know. You're in charge, deal with it. Rodney, you're bitching again. Hahaha! John cheated. The Apollo? Uh, how the fuck'd you manage that without the Asgard? Go away Apollo man. I don't like you. Pop him one, John, I will totally back your ass up.
- Sure, those ships'll be easy to blow up. Horizon and Apollo?? HELLO, where did they get them from? NO ASGARD. Oh, shut up, Apollo Man. You're useless. Bitch that Colonel out. Fucker's got it coming. Oh, hell yeah he does. Weir's the goddamn leader. Not your sorry ass. Fucking Caldwell reject. I'm with Weir. Weir's pissed, too. They aren't backing her up when she's gone to bat for them, so many times. Colonel Apollo man is like Kinsey meets the military. Fucking reject. Oh, yeah, this is going to work well for you. Really. Because it does so often in Atlantis. And now Shep's gonna have to deal with this shit alone. What? You trying to kill ALL of command? Weir is not happy with the fact she lost control but no one bothered to tell her. I say, honey, you go kick Apollo Man, oh excuse me Colonel Apollo Man, in the balls with a sledgehammer.
- Yes, children, because these people AREN'T replicators. Teyla and Ronon show up. The Replicators are back. Rep-li-cators. Haha. Duck people, DUCK. Yeah, that's gonna last five minutes. See, Apollo Man, you're stupid. Go Weir! Tell his ass off. You pissed her off. Pay the price. Poor Weir, the men make her job so difficult. Neutralize the source. Dude, you want her job? Fuck you. He's just trying to pit them against each other. Meanwhile, fuck the Pegasus Galaxy; IOA's got an agenda to run. John would suck as the leader, I'm just saying. Weir's a damn good leader when the IOA shuts the fuck up and lets her do her job. Teyla, she can't wait for them to calm down and step back. Earth culture is vastly different, as you notice the Colonel showing off his dick just to see how big it. Colonel, shut up, you fucking moron. Heeh! John's "McKay." Go, Rodney, go. Undercut the Colonel's powers. Fucker isn't in charge yet. Asshole that Mr. Apollo Man is. Under the sea! Under the sea! Where things are always better! Weir, sweetie, you might wanna get inside.
- Oh, John. You're such a cute geek boy. "I am not invisible." They're poking at him. Transfer. "Under you." *snickers* "Make out and get it over with?" HAHAHA. I love how they think in patterns. And LORNE. IN THE PLANE. SO HOT. Heeeh! Star drive! Let's hope it works. I love this show at times. When's Weir gonna get sliced to pieces? You know it's gonna happen soon.
[Commerical comment: No, Skiffy, you can't make me watch Painkiller Jane. Ever.]
- Go Weir. Go Weir. Fuck you Colonel. You do not respect her. That much is obvious. General O'Neill can't be too fond, can he? He sent your ass. And SHE recced his ASS for that job. Heh, so happy about fucking up the drilling platform. Five by five! FIVE BY FIVE bitches! He likes the crazy bitches apparently. Head back Lorne, my sweetie. I love you Sheppard. Fly, fly like the wind. Star drives, work honey. Weir knows and understands. Weir, don't go looking! Be careful! No shield to protect you. Dude, SGA: Lost in Space, next year. Meh. I DON'T FUCKING WANT CARTER YOU ASSHOLES.