Why Not? Cosmic joke and all.
So, family issues part 2. Long short, I called my dad up this morning, telling him to space out some time after work tomorrow for me and him to have a talk. He agreed and let it slip that he and stepmom had a huge fight. I was thrilled that he fought me, just once. I should have suspected, but silly me and my need to be, you know important for awhile to him. So he calls me up and says he can't do it because of a prior commitment and can we do it Thursday. I'm like whatever. And he goes, "Well it's for Relay for Life and you know that's important to me." Sure, I know that, but I was hoping for once I would be more important. And for the record, I never demand his time, so this must have been important. You'd think anyway.
Well, aren't I the damn fool? So he says something more, which I know enough after ten years to read between the lines that this is Her doing. So it's been postponed. And then he calls back and is like "I have a 45 minute lunch tomorrow at 10:30 until 11:15." Okay, so the fuck what? "I was hoping for more than 45 minutes." And he goes on, I'm like "Whatever." Because I'm so over this crap. And then he puts that last little dig in with " Well, thanks for handling this so graciously." Sure, who cares if I'm feeling hurt again. It's better to be a bastard to your kid who was rude after finding out she wasn't going to the time she needed.
I'm so over this crying shit with him. So much. I just...it hurts too much. I feel like I'm never going to be a priority, and that's why tomorrow I'm going to call and tell him to just forget it. I don't need to see him, or keep open communications. I won't demand to be a priority. I won't beg for it. I'm worth more than that. If he wants to see me, then it'll be up to him. Sadly, I don't have any faith in the fact that he'd make the effort. I stopped being important to him a long time ago. Silly me, thinking he had changed over the past couple years.
That said, I won't be around until the weekend. I just...*shrugs* need to lick my wounds in silence. I hope everything works out for y'all, and if you need me for something, email me. I won't answer, but I'll know it's important. Happy birthday tomorrow, elrina753.
Well, aren't I the damn fool? So he says something more, which I know enough after ten years to read between the lines that this is Her doing. So it's been postponed. And then he calls back and is like "I have a 45 minute lunch tomorrow at 10:30 until 11:15." Okay, so the fuck what? "I was hoping for more than 45 minutes." And he goes on, I'm like "Whatever." Because I'm so over this crap. And then he puts that last little dig in with " Well, thanks for handling this so graciously." Sure, who cares if I'm feeling hurt again. It's better to be a bastard to your kid who was rude after finding out she wasn't going to the time she needed.
I'm so over this crying shit with him. So much. I just...it hurts too much. I feel like I'm never going to be a priority, and that's why tomorrow I'm going to call and tell him to just forget it. I don't need to see him, or keep open communications. I won't demand to be a priority. I won't beg for it. I'm worth more than that. If he wants to see me, then it'll be up to him. Sadly, I don't have any faith in the fact that he'd make the effort. I stopped being important to him a long time ago. Silly me, thinking he had changed over the past couple years.
That said, I won't be around until the weekend. I just...*shrugs* need to lick my wounds in silence. I hope everything works out for y'all, and if you need me for something, email me. I won't answer, but I'll know it's important. Happy birthday tomorrow, elrina753.