Nursing
seems like a pretty viable option when it comes to majoring/career. The problem is, I really have no clue about it. I hit upon it last night when I was falling asleep and realized -- God's given me such a big & caring heart for people (and no, I'm not saying that to puff myself up, I think honestly examining my qualities is essential at this stage and for the decisions I'll soon be making) that, why not? I've always considered it one of my best traits, so I should put it to use! But then, a lot of different things factor in, too.
One of the biggest for me, I'd have to say, is wanting to follow the path that God wants me to walk down. But how do I figure out what path that is, and how do I do that in [what seems like] so little time? To be honest, I haven't been close to God lately, at all. I feel like I keep on pushing Him away and away, and simply because I want to do what I please in my own time.. which never turns out to be much at all. After WCCC this summer and hearing what David had to say about choosing either God or the world kinda hit me. All I do these days is sit around being lazy.. I know there's better things to do than that, even if it's as simple & mundane as doing chores around the house. I'm so self-centered these days. Everything always ends up coming back to me,me,me in the end, and it's a horrible feeling. I really want to be able to say that I've chosen God flat out, but I feel like I'm still riding on the fence that separates Him and the world. I want tastes of both, but it can't be that way.
David also spoke about how Satan is a deceiver and an accuser. First he'll deceive us into failing God, and then pretty soon he follows up and accuses us. 'Look at those other people, they're doing well in their walk with God. Why can't you? You're not good enough, you'll never be!' He also made it a point that it's never about the number of times you trip up and fall flat on your face. Failing is a given in this journey. But it's about always turning back to God, over and over, that makes the difference.
Even after hearing that, I find it so hard to open myself up to God, to come back to His feet. Even when I realize that it's Satan that's whispering those accusations and that God would never do that, the fear in my heart keeps me from throwing myself back down at God's feet. What if I really am not good enough? Look at all the times I've failed, again and again in that same ditch!
I don't really know how to wrap this up coherently, but wow, never knew I could go off topic so much. I guess I'll just end this with a Psalm that David gave us:
"But you are a shield around me, O Lord;
you bestow glory on me and lift up my head."
-- Psalm 3:3
One of the biggest for me, I'd have to say, is wanting to follow the path that God wants me to walk down. But how do I figure out what path that is, and how do I do that in [what seems like] so little time? To be honest, I haven't been close to God lately, at all. I feel like I keep on pushing Him away and away, and simply because I want to do what I please in my own time.. which never turns out to be much at all. After WCCC this summer and hearing what David had to say about choosing either God or the world kinda hit me. All I do these days is sit around being lazy.. I know there's better things to do than that, even if it's as simple & mundane as doing chores around the house. I'm so self-centered these days. Everything always ends up coming back to me,me,me in the end, and it's a horrible feeling. I really want to be able to say that I've chosen God flat out, but I feel like I'm still riding on the fence that separates Him and the world. I want tastes of both, but it can't be that way.
David also spoke about how Satan is a deceiver and an accuser. First he'll deceive us into failing God, and then pretty soon he follows up and accuses us. 'Look at those other people, they're doing well in their walk with God. Why can't you? You're not good enough, you'll never be!' He also made it a point that it's never about the number of times you trip up and fall flat on your face. Failing is a given in this journey. But it's about always turning back to God, over and over, that makes the difference.
Even after hearing that, I find it so hard to open myself up to God, to come back to His feet. Even when I realize that it's Satan that's whispering those accusations and that God would never do that, the fear in my heart keeps me from throwing myself back down at God's feet. What if I really am not good enough? Look at all the times I've failed, again and again in that same ditch!
I don't really know how to wrap this up coherently, but wow, never knew I could go off topic so much. I guess I'll just end this with a Psalm that David gave us:
"But you are a shield around me, O Lord;
you bestow glory on me and lift up my head."
-- Psalm 3:3