This post might seem whiney and I do apologize for it in advance
With Kathy rescinding her friendship, it has been brought home to me that I have very few close friends. The kind of friends with whom you share deep, meaningful things. The sort of friends who have seen you through the bad shit and are still around to talk about it. The kind of friends who have the dubious honor of being able to say, "I knew her
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I also find it difficult to find good local girlfriends, and it's not because they are not out there. In fact I have recently met some awesome women, mainly from LJ. But it is difficult to reach that stage of "intimate friendship" because people are so busy and usually are already involved with men, their families, etc. It is a very rare connection.
But I think that over time a person can change if you feel that something about yourself bothers you. After all I was literally raised in a political and spiritual vacuum. I was kept deliberately ignorant of all world events, philosophy and anything that would make me think. I still often feel inadequate, but am getting to the point where I feel I can hold my own in a conversation.
Add some newsfeeds and political blogs to your friends page. I can make suggestions but they will be on the liberal side. :) Make a point of reading one thought-provoking book per month. Listen to talk radio. But whatever you do don't watch American news networks! :)
Take dance classes or an art class, anything you don't already know how do. It will give you something to talk about at least. I can't tell you how many times I have "broken the ice" at dinner parties with my scant knowledge of boxing, which is still more than most men, and my scuba diving stories.
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And, you're right...this train of thought is a common one for me.
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