"I'm sorry, I forsake you"
Have you ever been so scared to the point of tears? So sad you want to scream? So angry you want to smile? So loud that you are mute?
"I will only cause you pain..."
I feel as though I am screaming so loudly that no one can hear me. I want to cry but I want to laugh. I want to scream, but I just can't. Something is choking me. Everything is so much worse because I am so tired. Things that are natural and happen to everyone are freaking me out. I need to get out of here; if I leave I'll regret it. Time is moving so slowly, yet speeding up in front of my eyes. I look forward to seeing the same person all the time, though I know it is unhealthy. I need to get out of this. I am way too attached. I wish I had never met this person, that way I wouldn't know the pain that I will know soon enough.
I feel like my time here is like a flash of light: over too fast, never forgotten, mesmerizing, captivating, stunning, but ultimately gone before you can blink.
"I am so tired of mirrors, pour me a glass of your wine..."
This place is making me doubt things I thought I had been so certain about. I feel weak and small and tired. I feel like I am drowning in complete insecurity. I am scared of the thoughts I'm thinking. I scared of the things I'm thinking of doing. I don't want to think these thoughts, but I can silence them in my mind. Even if I can't scream, the thoughts do. I am trying to hush them, but what I actually want to do right now is run to the person that I should not. I want to here the words that make me laugh things off, but once I stop laughing it scares me even more. Who am I any more? I am not the same person you knew a month ago. My brain is playing tricks on me. Can this week never end? I wish I were older, by exactly 3 years. I wish I were one year younger. I know what I want, and it is exactly what I shouldn't want. I need to remember everything, everyone.
"But after midnight, morning will come..."
When we're all gone, who will remember us? Or will we just fade away like grains of sand scattered in the wind?
I won'tcan't forget.
"I will only cause you pain..."
I feel as though I am screaming so loudly that no one can hear me. I want to cry but I want to laugh. I want to scream, but I just can't. Something is choking me. Everything is so much worse because I am so tired. Things that are natural and happen to everyone are freaking me out. I need to get out of here; if I leave I'll regret it. Time is moving so slowly, yet speeding up in front of my eyes. I look forward to seeing the same person all the time, though I know it is unhealthy. I need to get out of this. I am way too attached. I wish I had never met this person, that way I wouldn't know the pain that I will know soon enough.
I feel like my time here is like a flash of light: over too fast, never forgotten, mesmerizing, captivating, stunning, but ultimately gone before you can blink.
"I am so tired of mirrors, pour me a glass of your wine..."
This place is making me doubt things I thought I had been so certain about. I feel weak and small and tired. I feel like I am drowning in complete insecurity. I am scared of the thoughts I'm thinking. I scared of the things I'm thinking of doing. I don't want to think these thoughts, but I can silence them in my mind. Even if I can't scream, the thoughts do. I am trying to hush them, but what I actually want to do right now is run to the person that I should not. I want to here the words that make me laugh things off, but once I stop laughing it scares me even more. Who am I any more? I am not the same person you knew a month ago. My brain is playing tricks on me. Can this week never end? I wish I were older, by exactly 3 years. I wish I were one year younger. I know what I want, and it is exactly what I shouldn't want. I need to remember everything, everyone.
"But after midnight, morning will come..."
When we're all gone, who will remember us? Or will we just fade away like grains of sand scattered in the wind?
I won'tcan't forget.