Dec 30, 2009 02:34
Thirty-something degrees in Kill devil hills, nc. Sitting outside, Jason is sleeping. again. I leave sat. and I feel no closer (at the moment) to any solutious than I did prior to leaving. saturday I leave...
I'm extraordinarily apprehensive about going home. I've become far to used to my location and the warmth/support of ja laying next to me.
i guess he is happy falling asleep two nights in a row. I, of course, have the suspicion that he has something on his mind and is preoccupied.
for some asinine reason I feel like my heart is breaking? Let's see how tomorrow goes.
I am so sad. It's particularly lame when I have not felt this irrationally sad in many years... And hear I sit, when the person [?please I hope dearly to be correct on this] who amazes and blows my mind so often lays sleeping in a warm bed and room. I don't know if he simply does not assert himself with me, re: ...so many things! Or he simply doesn't care as I do.
Yet, I feel the burning, the pain, resonating through my left lumbar chamber...
So, I take the pills they tell me to.