(no subject)
another should for me...i should be more content in my situation. i dont know if thats the right word for it. maybe more satisfied. i havent really been able to relax this summer...i keep creating internal tension. like now, im sitting here. bored stiff...thinking i wish i had more friends here. thinking i should call abby, thinking shed be off doing something. thinking i should call someone but i dont want to have to be social. so i dont. feel like im getting sludgy again.
so if i feel this way it would make sense to do something about it. but i dont. maybe i dont care too, maybe i dont like my options. but this is what creates the internal tension. i think it all amounts to me being too lazy. so this is me overanalyzing everything again. the same thing ive been doing for awhile now...need to give myself something to do...something to occupy my mind. i feel useless.
so if i feel this way it would make sense to do something about it. but i dont. maybe i dont care too, maybe i dont like my options. but this is what creates the internal tension. i think it all amounts to me being too lazy. so this is me overanalyzing everything again. the same thing ive been doing for awhile now...need to give myself something to do...something to occupy my mind. i feel useless.