Its all the little things that matter...
I hate summer.
K, don't get me wrong, I love not having school, but I hate having time to think, and I hate being alone. Last summer, I had the most amazing boyfriend and it was awesome. This summer, he has turned into the most amazing prick and is using all the same shit he used on me on some new girl. I know, I know, you all warned me. Well, good job, but it doesn't make it hurt less. And then I move on, or almost get the chance to, just to be dumped...again. I want to give up. At the same time I have feelings for this new guy. At the same time I know I'm just setting myself up for another last summer and another let down. At the same time I know I actually like him. At the same time I want to take all your good advice. At the same time I want to make my own mistakes. At the same time I want to kill AZ boy. At the same time I wish he never left. At the same time I wish I had been better to the new guy. At the same time I think I wasn't so bad. I am losing my mind. It happens every summer. But AZ boy can still make me cry. I hate that. I don't want to care about him anymore. But new guy doesn't help. I want to kiss him and hate AZ boy, but instead I hold it all in and scream to myself. I scream in my head.
I hate me.
K, don't get me wrong, I love not having school, but I hate having time to think, and I hate being alone. Last summer, I had the most amazing boyfriend and it was awesome. This summer, he has turned into the most amazing prick and is using all the same shit he used on me on some new girl. I know, I know, you all warned me. Well, good job, but it doesn't make it hurt less. And then I move on, or almost get the chance to, just to be dumped...again. I want to give up. At the same time I have feelings for this new guy. At the same time I know I'm just setting myself up for another last summer and another let down. At the same time I know I actually like him. At the same time I want to take all your good advice. At the same time I want to make my own mistakes. At the same time I want to kill AZ boy. At the same time I wish he never left. At the same time I wish I had been better to the new guy. At the same time I think I wasn't so bad. I am losing my mind. It happens every summer. But AZ boy can still make me cry. I hate that. I don't want to care about him anymore. But new guy doesn't help. I want to kiss him and hate AZ boy, but instead I hold it all in and scream to myself. I scream in my head.
I hate me.