A Need To Write Words

[veni_vidi_valui]

Another day, another disturbance, I suppose... One I seem to have thankfully avoided. Much like my warden's scrutiny, I might add, but as all I have to do is deny what she has to hand, it's not been very difficult to avoid taking responsibility for

Comments

[you_run_i_chase]

[Oh for fuck's sake.]

Oh good. Just because you don't see me watching you doesn't mean I don't Atia.

There's nothing wrong with missing your grandchildren. Missing people doesn't make you fucking weak.

Don't fucking call me a filthy slut-whore either, especially when you're sleeping around far more than I am.

You are important to me because you're my inmate. Do you think I go traipsing through shit to save you for no reason?

[veni_vidi_valui]

I don't see why I shouldn't admit to thinking of you in that fashion. It feels rather natural, quite honestly.

What I think is that you all put on a show for us, but behind closed doors, it's completely different. That's how these things always work.

Much like how I've successfully been able to pretend your information is completely lacking in truth, when it's actually rather accurate. Chronologically-speaking, at least... But I'd rather not have to defend myself against accusations, no matter how true, since I know how self-incriminating they'd sound if I did.

Private.

[you_run_i_chase]

We don't put a show on for you. If I put a show on for you don't you think it's a better one?

And yeah, I knew it's accurate. The files always are. Every one of your wardens knew that too, honestly.

So why don't you tell me your reasoning behind them? Why do what you've done?

Re: Private.

[veni_vidi_valui]

It's not for me to fathom why you do these things. Perhaps you'll only get rewarded if following orders to do so.

I don't see why I should be judged in this fashion, in any case. If the gods war between themselves, mortals are expected to. That's the Roman way.

I do what I do, because I feel I must. Because if opportunities slip by, why should I be deserving of more come my way? And because force is the only true leveller.

And yes, I'm not above personal enjoyment, but I've guided my family how I best see fit. Now that Octavian's ruler, it all rather justifies itself, don't you think?

Private.

[you_run_i_chase]

[For fuck's sake.]

I only get rewarded when you fucking graduate. Being here is not a reward in any manner.

If you're here then the gods must thing you deserve to be judged, have you thought of that?

So you basically do it because you can and you feel it's worth it.

If you want to go to the pool, I'll take you to the fucking pool. I'm here to help. I'm not here to hurt you or keep you here. You being here like this only hurts me. I act in self-interest too.

Private: Atia have her file?

[veni_vidi_valui]

That's as you claim, yes, but I've reasons to be sceptical of why wardens do what they do. Especially after you took all my things away... I've nothing to bargain with now.

No, I've not thought of it like that, but judging infers punishment... I don't want to be punished, I want to be rewarded. The common wolf or bear will slay its rivals. Why can it not be so for us, too?

Private.

[you_run_i_chase]

I took your things away because you keep bitching your in a jail, that's what jail is like. But look, you like your freedom here.

Maybe this is your reward. You're working toward having a second chance, isn't that reward enough? A chance to see your grandchildren, and your children again? To see Octavian's reign first hand?

Re: Private.

[veni_vidi_valui]

I've just realised our conversation has somehow allowed you a lot more of an insight to me than I'd prefer.

I feel resentful about this.

POrivate.

[you_run_i_chase]

As opposed to every other thing you feel resentful about with me?

God damn it, Atia, I can't help you if you're not fucking honest with me.

Re: Private:

[veni_vidi_valui]

Yes, but especially so... And I feel nothing but honest towards you or anyone else.

Private:

[you_run_i_chase]

So be honest. You've been being a bitch for these months why?

Re: Private:

[veni_vidi_valui]

You imply I act differently at home.

Private:

[you_run_i_chase]

Do you?

Re: Private:

[veni_vidi_valui]

It depends who I'm with.

\Private:

[you_run_i_chase]

Depends on if you're being mom or not?

Re: \Private:

[veni_vidi_valui]

I'm not understanding your meaning.