My true homeland, Oklahoma

Jun 13, 2005 02:52

I am going to move to Oklahoma someday ( Read more... )

oklahoma

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aritei June 13 2005, 19:52:35 UTC
My dear, you should watch Oklahoma! sometime. I'm surprised anyone outside Oklahoma has heard of Blake Shelton, so you get points for that. Of course, the new American Idol is also from Oklahoma.

Here are some posts stolen from my alma mater's alumni forum,

You're From Oklahoma If:
1. You can properly pronounce Eufaula, Gotebo, Okemah, and
Chickasha.

2. You think that people who complain about the wind in their
states are sissies.

3. A tornado warning siren is your signal to go out in the yard
and look for a funnel.

4. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor
on the highway.

5. You've ever had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.

6. You know that the true value of a parking space is not determined by the distance to the door, but by the availability of shade.

7. Stores don't have bags, they have sacks.

8. You see people wear bib overalls at funerals.

9. You think everyone from a bigger city has an accent.

10. You measure distance in minutes.

11. You refer to the capital of Oklahoma as "The City."

12. It doesn't bother you to use an airport named for a man who
died in an airplane crash.

13. Little smokies are something you serve only for special
occasions.

14. You go to the lake because you think it is like going to the
ocean.

15. You listen to the weather forecast before picking out an
outfit.

16. You know cowpies are not made of beef.

17. Someone you know has used a football schedule to plan their
wedding date.

18. You have known someone who has had one belt buckle bigger than
your fist.

19. A bad traffic jam involves two cars staring each other down at
a four-way stop, each determined to be the most polite and let the
other go first.

20. You know in which state Miam-uh is and in which state Miam-ee
is.

21. You aren't surprised to find movie rental, ammunition, and
bait all in the same store.

(Long's Drug Store here sells guns.) Sure, you would expect that of a Wal-Mart, but Long's is more like a regular drug store! I guess that is how the West was won.)

22. Your "place at the lake" has wheels under it.

23. A Mercedes Benz is not a status symbol. A Ford F350 4x4 is.

24. You know everything goes better with Ranch.

25. You actually get these jokes and are "fixin" to send them to
your friends.

Finally, you are 100% Oklahoman if you have ever heard this conversation:

"You wanna coke?"
"Yeah."
"What kind?"
"Dr. Pepper."

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venaja June 13 2005, 19:55:20 UTC
Hahahaha.

I caught one of Blake Shelton's videos on CMT one day when I was trying to teach myself to like modern country music. Then I looked him up on the Internet. I think his song "Some Beach" is ingenious, and I actually like his song "Ol' Red", because any song about a dog is a good song.

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aritei June 13 2005, 19:58:08 UTC
Here are some Okie-isms copied from the same thread:

"Whatever blows yer skirt up!"

"finer than a frog's hair"

Ending sentences in the future tense with "Lord willing and the creek (better yet, 'crick') don't rise."

Replacing words like "because" or "since" with "bein' as (pronounced as 'beans')."

"You darn near scared (sometimes tickled) the pee wadden outta me"

Speaking of grandmas I just remembered my Muskogee grandma liked to say "Whoo-eee! My dogs are tired!" as she took off her shoes and put her feet up on a stool.

"I'm madder than a wet hen"

Here's one of my favorites, especially when walking behind a lady with a few extra pounds on her frame, wearing tight sweats or stretch pants that she shouldn't be wearing: "looks like two tomcats fightin' in a tow sack"

Oh yeah, here's another one. You've just finished eating a ton of food (perhaps at Thanksgiving). You push your chair away from the table, rub your bulging belly and announce, "Whew! I'm full as a tick. Couldn't eat another bite!".

I have always loved my family's use of the word "heifer" to talk about any female family member.

Once upon a time in my 2 years at Texhoma High School (as much as I would like to pretend it never happened) one of the Coaches, I mean history teachers... said "And I was all over that like chicken on cheetos." Imagine a big 26 year old saying this, and then the students loving it and... I'm pretty sure that was our town motto for a while. It's catchier than the "we're so big it takes two states to hold us" slogan.

Here's one that fits my mood today:
"Nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rockers"

"On your way out, don't let the screen door hit you where the Good Lord split you."

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venaja June 13 2005, 20:01:35 UTC
HAHAHAH, chicken and cheetos!

I like the name "Texhoma", too. I like how there are all these hybrid town names on the borders of Texas: Texhoma, Texico, Texarkana.

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