Southern Weirdness
I promised previously to explain a few of the odd Southern customs you may not know about unless you live or travel to the Deep South.
How Deep is Deep? The Deep South is a term for the states furthest south in the US. It typically includes the states which seceded first from the Union during the Civil war. Alabama, Georgia, Louisiana, Mississippi, and South Carolina.
Rice in the salt shakers? The rice absorbs moisture, and as the South is humid enough to take your goldfish for a walk in the park, without the rice, you have a glass of solid salt.
You Who? Y'all is a contraction of the words You All. Y'all is plural. If you want to ask a a few of your friends to come with you to a movie, you say, "Y'all want to go to a movie?" If you want to ask the entire group, you ask, "All y'all want to go to a movie?" If you want to ask one friend, you say, "Want to go to a movie?" (Southerners also typically drop the "Do" part of "Do you want?)
My Who? Your kin. As in, "How's your kin and all?" Kinfolk are your relatives, and people in the Deep South want to hear all about them, even if they've never met a one.
What's a grit? There really is no such thing as one grit. Grits is the name for ground corn, boiled until it's soft, and usually served with butter and salt, though some areas treat it the same as porridge and top it with milk and sugar instead.
Ma'am? Yes, when in the South, you are expected to put on your best manners. You respect your elders at all times, and you will call them Sir and Ma'am - as in Yes, Sir and No, Ma'am. If you are friendly enough to be on first names with an elderly Southerner - don't call them their first name alone! You say Miss Etta or Mr. Sam. It's respectful.
You fry what? Yes, the South fries nearly everything - chicken, turkeys, snickers bars, pig intestines. Chitlins are the intestines; pork rinds are bits of skin with the fat attached. If you don't like fried food, maybe the Deep South isn't the place to visit. And you should always save your bacon grease after you cook breakfast - real frying involves bacon grease!
What kind of tea? Sweet tea. Here in the Deep South, tea is typically prepared by steeping the leaves in water and adding sugar immediately. It is then poured over ice to make Ice Tea. If you ask for tea in the South, you usually get Sweet Ice Tea.
Bless what? This is the Bible Belt - where your Personal Relationship with Jesus is expected to be out in the open. People of other religions are not necessarily discriminated against (though often considered to be "going to hell" by certain right-wing Christians), but the acknowledged religion of the South is Christianity. You'll hear many terms in the South that you won't hear elsewhere, even among other Christians:
Here's a hilarious little list I found somewhere:
1. Only a true Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption and that you don't "HAVE" them - you "PITCH" them.
2. Only a true Southerner knows how much any fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc. make up "a mess" (as in "a mess" of greens).
3. Only a true Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of "yonder."
4. Only a true Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is - as in: "Going to town, be back directly (generally pronounced dreckly).
5. All true Southerners, even babies, know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl on the middle of the table.
6. All true Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well.
7. Only a true Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. (If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin').
8. Only true Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and "a right far (pronounced "fur") piece." They also know that "just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20.
9. Only a true Southerner both knows and understands the difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.
10. No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.
11. A true Southerner knows that "fixin'" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb. (As in, I was fixin to go over to BettyLou's. Or, we had a huge Christmas dinner with all the fixins. Or, are you fixin my car next?).
12. Only a true Southerner knows that the term "booger" can be a resident of the nose, a descriptive, as in "that ol' booger," a first name, or something that jumps out at you in the dark and scares you senseless.
13. Only true Southerners make friends while standing in lines. We don't do "queues", we do "lines," and when we're IN, not ON, line we talk to everybody!
14. Put 100 true Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're related, even if only by marriage.
15. True Southerners never refer to only one person as "y'all"... more than three is way more than one, it's "all y'all".
16. True Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.
17. Every true Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that redeye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food We recognize milk gravy when we see it, know what to do with it and wonder what the heck you other people eat on your biscuits.
18. When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin'," you know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!
19. Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea indicates it contains sugar and lots of it - we do not like our tea unsweetened "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.
20. And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say, "Bless her heart" and go your own way.
If anyone knows any more that I skipped, just add a comment!
How Deep is Deep? The Deep South is a term for the states furthest south in the US. It typically includes the states which seceded first from the Union during the Civil war. Alabama, Georgia, Louisiana, Mississippi, and South Carolina.
Rice in the salt shakers? The rice absorbs moisture, and as the South is humid enough to take your goldfish for a walk in the park, without the rice, you have a glass of solid salt.
You Who? Y'all is a contraction of the words You All. Y'all is plural. If you want to ask a a few of your friends to come with you to a movie, you say, "Y'all want to go to a movie?" If you want to ask the entire group, you ask, "All y'all want to go to a movie?" If you want to ask one friend, you say, "Want to go to a movie?" (Southerners also typically drop the "Do" part of "Do you want?)
My Who? Your kin. As in, "How's your kin and all?" Kinfolk are your relatives, and people in the Deep South want to hear all about them, even if they've never met a one.
What's a grit? There really is no such thing as one grit. Grits is the name for ground corn, boiled until it's soft, and usually served with butter and salt, though some areas treat it the same as porridge and top it with milk and sugar instead.
Ma'am? Yes, when in the South, you are expected to put on your best manners. You respect your elders at all times, and you will call them Sir and Ma'am - as in Yes, Sir and No, Ma'am. If you are friendly enough to be on first names with an elderly Southerner - don't call them their first name alone! You say Miss Etta or Mr. Sam. It's respectful.
You fry what? Yes, the South fries nearly everything - chicken, turkeys, snickers bars, pig intestines. Chitlins are the intestines; pork rinds are bits of skin with the fat attached. If you don't like fried food, maybe the Deep South isn't the place to visit. And you should always save your bacon grease after you cook breakfast - real frying involves bacon grease!
What kind of tea? Sweet tea. Here in the Deep South, tea is typically prepared by steeping the leaves in water and adding sugar immediately. It is then poured over ice to make Ice Tea. If you ask for tea in the South, you usually get Sweet Ice Tea.
Bless what? This is the Bible Belt - where your Personal Relationship with Jesus is expected to be out in the open. People of other religions are not necessarily discriminated against (though often considered to be "going to hell" by certain right-wing Christians), but the acknowledged religion of the South is Christianity. You'll hear many terms in the South that you won't hear elsewhere, even among other Christians:
- Bless Your Heart! This isn't a prayer for your cardiac organ, it's a sympathetic mutter that serves the same purpose as "you poor thing" or "I feel for you." It can also be a semi-condescending comment about someone you consider to be a bit sub-par, as in, "He's just as dumb as a fencepost, bless his heart."
- Are You Saved? I've had many non-Southern friends ask me about this, and wonder what they're supposed to be saved from. This term seems to be exclusive to the South, and refers to the act of making a public profession of faith in Jesus Christ. The actual words may be something along the lines of "I acknowledge that Jesus is Lord of my life," or "I turn my life over to Christ," or even, "Jesus take the wheel!" And it refers to the act of "saving" you from going to Hell.
- Amen! Yes, people in the South really do shout "Amen!" during church. The world means, "Yes, indeed," and down here, specifically means, "Yes, Lord!" You will also hear the term outside of church, as people will say, "Amen!" if they strongly agree with what you just said.
- Jesus Died for What? Jesus Died For Your Sins - you hear it a lot, along with WWJD (What Would Jesus Do?).
- Speaking in Tongues - really devout Christians of certain sects will begin babbling words that sound like an unknown language. This is known as "speaking in tongues," and is considered a sign that Jesus has touched you with the Light.
- Laying on of hands - to heal or bless someone by touching them, generally with the palms of both hands, while praying for that person, generally out loud.
- Hallelujah! - said whenever something wonderful happens, or when you feel particularly religious
- Well butter my butt and call me a biscuit! - "You don't say!"
- Dumb as a box of hair (or a bag of hammers) - really stupid
- Hit with the ugly stick - really ugly
- He fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down - past really ugly, would scare small children in the street
- He's as country as a bowl of grits - someone who lives far away from modern cities and towns, socially naive
- Nervous as a cat in a roomful of rockers - really nervous
- I wouldn't kick him/her out of bed for eating crackers! - "I find that person sexually attractive."
- Busier than a one-armed paper hanger, or busier than a one-legged man in a butt-kicking contest - really busy
- A mess of - a lot of, as in "a mess of salad greens"
- Lower than a snake in a wagon rut! - mean and sneaky ("low" means untrustworthy)
- He needed killing - a valid excuse for murder in most areas
- Had a big ol' bowl of stupid for breakfast! - really stupid
- Big Ol' - an adjective for any item larger than ordinary, as in "That's a big ol' bull."
- You couldn't carry a tune in a bucket! - "You can't sing."
- Good Ol' Boy - a term for Southern men whose loyalty for each other outweighs loyalty to women, society, or law
- Fixin' to - intending to do it soon, as in "I'm fixing to go to the store - y'all need anything?"
- Pitch a hissy Fit or Have a conniption - to throw a temper tantrum
- Directly - later, as in "I'll be home directly."
- Give me some sugar! - Kiss me!
- That's finer than frog hair split four ways! - "That's mighty fine."
- Ain't no never mind! - "Don't worry about it."
- A cat (or somebody) ran over my grave! - said when you shiver unexpectedly
- He's down in the back - "He has back pain" (usually bad enough to keep him from doing something)
- To egg someone on - to taunt or strongly urge an action by someone else
- Nary a one - not one of whatever you're talking about
- Wherabouts - location, as in "Whereabouts are you?" or "The police don't know his whereabouts."
- Peaked - pronounced PEEK-ed (not peekd). It means puny or sickly, as in "He's looking mighty peaked."
- I reckon - "I guess so."
- That's about as useful as (name the most un-useful combination you can think of, as in "a trap door on a canoe, teats on a bull, a back pocket on a shirt, whatever)
- Smack dab in the middle - right in the middle
Here's a hilarious little list I found somewhere:
1. Only a true Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption and that you don't "HAVE" them - you "PITCH" them.
2. Only a true Southerner knows how much any fish, collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc. make up "a mess" (as in "a mess" of greens).
3. Only a true Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of "yonder."
4. Only a true Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is - as in: "Going to town, be back directly (generally pronounced dreckly).
5. All true Southerners, even babies, know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl on the middle of the table.
6. All true Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well.
7. Only a true Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. (If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin').
8. Only true Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and "a right far (pronounced "fur") piece." They also know that "just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20.
9. Only a true Southerner both knows and understands the difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.
10. No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.
11. A true Southerner knows that "fixin'" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb. (As in, I was fixin to go over to BettyLou's. Or, we had a huge Christmas dinner with all the fixins. Or, are you fixin my car next?).
12. Only a true Southerner knows that the term "booger" can be a resident of the nose, a descriptive, as in "that ol' booger," a first name, or something that jumps out at you in the dark and scares you senseless.
13. Only true Southerners make friends while standing in lines. We don't do "queues", we do "lines," and when we're IN, not ON, line we talk to everybody!
14. Put 100 true Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're related, even if only by marriage.
15. True Southerners never refer to only one person as "y'all"... more than three is way more than one, it's "all y'all".
16. True Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.
17. Every true Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that redeye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food We recognize milk gravy when we see it, know what to do with it and wonder what the heck you other people eat on your biscuits.
18. When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin'," you know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!
19. Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea indicates it contains sugar and lots of it - we do not like our tea unsweetened "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.
20. And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say, "Bless her heart" and go your own way.
If anyone knows any more that I skipped, just add a comment!