i take it all back.............
cirtian things in my life keep killing me from the inside out. self destruction is not a good quality for any person to have yet i constantly ruin things around me on purpose(sp)hence self destruction. and then theres other things like my "friends" constantly stabbing me in my back(dont ever listen to what steve tells you about me....its probally just how he precieved it). gotta love that. and then theres my other problem with letting go. eveything just keeps circling in my head. if its nto there one mminute its there the next. bi-polor? maybe. and my whole trust isssue. i dont trust any one and i dont trust any thing. this goes back to the whole "friends"stabbing me in the back. and i feel completly alone....even with everything. i feel horribly alone. i dont feel like me any more. i feel more alone like theres no bbody any where. no one i can talk to. everyone i used to be able to talk to has gone and just pretty much denied ever knowing me which makes me feel super. and everyone i can talk to i dont trust. back to the self-destructive trait. oh well i'll......do something.......
back to the update.........ummm got busted for drinking...by the cops......wrad. at shanes at a party was the first one caught and when i was caught i was only wearing my boxers becuase steve decided to throw my clothes into the pool. i was dripping wet. and standing in my boxers surrounded by about 9 cops dripping wet holding my soaked clothes and shivering. and laughing. at everything the fact that i got busted, that he pretty much gave everyone who wasnt there and who was there up, that the cops have john wallis' licence plate number and that they have dave's plate number and aarons, and the cops know who was with them and what they had been doing so eventually their all gunna get calls and or visits.i think its all hallarious. i think its even more entertaing that i got caught. i dont honestly give a shit about being caught either. i did it an so what? people say "you can look back on it and laugh" im fucking laughin about it right now. becuase i dont care. everyones making a huge deal outta this and me? well im just gunna ride this out and laugh about it the whole time.....and i'll be fine.........in that legal and parental trouble sence......im feelin kinda unstable other wise.....
and from now on poeple try to stay out of my personal life. and if you do want to know some thing or spread some junk around make sure its true i dont care if you ask me. if not try to stay out of my life.
back to the update.........ummm got busted for drinking...by the cops......wrad. at shanes at a party was the first one caught and when i was caught i was only wearing my boxers becuase steve decided to throw my clothes into the pool. i was dripping wet. and standing in my boxers surrounded by about 9 cops dripping wet holding my soaked clothes and shivering. and laughing. at everything the fact that i got busted, that he pretty much gave everyone who wasnt there and who was there up, that the cops have john wallis' licence plate number and that they have dave's plate number and aarons, and the cops know who was with them and what they had been doing so eventually their all gunna get calls and or visits.i think its all hallarious. i think its even more entertaing that i got caught. i dont honestly give a shit about being caught either. i did it an so what? people say "you can look back on it and laugh" im fucking laughin about it right now. becuase i dont care. everyones making a huge deal outta this and me? well im just gunna ride this out and laugh about it the whole time.....and i'll be fine.........in that legal and parental trouble sence......im feelin kinda unstable other wise.....
and from now on poeple try to stay out of my personal life. and if you do want to know some thing or spread some junk around make sure its true i dont care if you ask me. if not try to stay out of my life.