I'm not interested in looking at anything else now. To work with these people - it would be so healing for me. Oh, I hope. I hope they call
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Actually, it's much humbler than that. I don't anticipate attending school (again) for a long time, if ever: too many varying interests to settle on one, plus severe concentration difficulty when it comes to doing things for myself.
They're a kind of wonderful doctor's office. I'm looking for a job and they need a receptionist. Someone loving and kind to patients, and someone who can do the computer chores I know how to do. With those kind of healthy people, I could be that kind loving person and wouldn't be forcing the smile I'd need to give daily (which I find myself doing right now). I also have the hope that I can learn more about all those different subjects and get some help for myself (perhaps discounted?). The vision is there, but I have no idea whether any of this could come true or what it would actually be like. I can even see the waiting room - it's got some of that lighting that's just cast on the walls and ceilings, in a golden wheat shade. I know it sounds crazy, and looks like I'm setting myself up for disappointment, but it all came in a rush to me last night and it was so exciting that I had to get it down in print. The anticipation has already started to fade, after that miserable dream this morning.
Whether I get the job or not, it's pretty apparent from my response that I really need some kind of help with my general health. (It's pretty hard for me to actually get around to doing something about it.) With this job, maybe I could revel in it.
A poem about *me* - oh, Jenny, what an honor. Just yesterday I was thinking about the only poem ever wrote about me. It was titled "Beside Me She Stands", more than 10 years ago. Poor boy. He never did get what he wanted. I was such a tease and had no clue I was.
And I just emerged from a dream where it was my second wedding to Dan and I was struggling to get my hair in the right shape. (Also running out of time, as usual.) It was starting to look like a cockeyed version of Julia Roberts' wedding hair in Steel Magnolias. Interesting since that's my wedding photo, in which I also did my own hair which slowly disintegrated by the end of the day.
In spring of 2003, I began to eat lower-carb - not to try to lose a lot of weight, but to feel better. I did. I felt fantastic. The only challenge was the cooking part, plus the whole social-eating thing. (My parents and Dan's parents are very fond of their bread and their dessert, and it's hard not to indulge when eating with them. No wonder people have such a hard time quitting smoking or drinking. Social drugs are terrible things.)
Winter came, which meant comfort food. Then I was in a play, which meant convenience food. Since then I haven't ever completely been able to eat the way I did before.
Here are the things I noticed: when I eat lower carb,
behavior is better: energy is up, moodiness (crying, pointless anger) is nil, home projects get done, no distractions, no lateness to work, no shopping addiction, less piles of mess, no stressful feelings, much better short-term memory.
health is better: no colds WHATSOEVER!!, absolutely no tachycardia, no headaches, less acne, no eyelid puffiness, no yeast infections, no achiness.
I need to find a way to be less addicted. I suspect acupuncture can help me. I want to be flexible and energetic. Yoga or Pilates I want to try.
So that's why this health center sounds so exciting. Working there would make it easy to get treatment. But if I don't get the job, I'm going to try this place out anyway.
I think just typing this out is helping me already. I know more sunlight is also making me feel better. I can't wait to make the change. Thank you.
ooh tachycardia, was it fast fast? that's one of my problems, but because my heart is built wrong. well good luck again and i hope this works. i think i'll take some of yr tips...
My tachycardia has gotten up to 140 beats per minute - well, no, over that, because they're almost not countable sometimes. It's stress-related. During the months before my wedding, it would start up as soon as I awoke. Maybe even a little before that. I'd have to grab something to drink and relax myself even before I got out of bed. It's especially bad when I'm in a rush for time. My dad had the same experience when he did low-carb - no heart problems whatsoever.
I don't know if it would help you, but when it starts to go fast, I drop what I'm doing and sit in a chair, then bend forward so my chest touches my knees. I don't bear down or any of that, I just bend forward, and I look at my feet, and I think about absolutely nothing. I breathe normally, and just wait a little while. Works like a charm, as long as I nip it in the bud early. Like rubbing your earlobes when you have the hiccups - only works before the 3rd or 4th one.
yeah, i used to be able to do that val sal manuver (bearing down) when i had wolfe-parkison-white syndrome which i had since i was a kid to late thirties and when they fixed that atrial flutter and atrial fibrillation popped up, no moe bearing down for some reason. i have been attempting a low carb diet in order to lose weight, not i have a 'real' reason. a life-saving reason. i don't weven know what a carb IS. i'm serious. i've always dieted with two methods. 1. don't eat. or 2. count calories. so now i gotta learn someting new. but not the atkins. i did that fo a week and i got sick to death of meat. i hardly ever eat meat and it drove me crazy...but you'v inspired me to look into this... thanks. i was laways very thin until i hurt my spine and started taking morphiine seven years later. the first five i took nothing and suffered and then i gave in and when it got worse, the meds were upped and now, i wish i had never started, just kept suffering and being funny... sigh... you are a boon to my existence..
I really don't take any notice of your spelling and all. Now it's kind of a patina on your writing; an antique finish. I only spell "right" because I can't help it.
Oh, honey. Morphine. I have no idea what that would be like. What was the accident that hurt your spine?
In regards to low-carb, I would just try to eat as many kinds of protein as I could. You don't have to make it meat. I have a lot of cottage cheese and hot dogs and cheese, simple stuff. I'm sure you could find other things. The protein balances out whatever carbs you do have. Plus lots of vegetables are important, and vitamins, which you probably already take.
Actually, it's much humbler than that. I don't anticipate attending school (again) for a long time, if ever: too many varying interests to settle on one, plus severe concentration difficulty when it comes to doing things for myself.
They're a kind of wonderful doctor's office. I'm looking for a job and they need a receptionist. Someone loving and kind to patients, and someone who can do the computer chores I know how to do. With those kind of healthy people, I could be that kind loving person and wouldn't be forcing the smile I'd need to give daily (which I find myself doing right now). I also have the hope that I can learn more about all those different subjects and get some help for myself (perhaps discounted?). The vision is there, but I have no idea whether any of this could come true or what it would actually be like. I can even see the waiting room - it's got some of that lighting that's just cast on the walls and ceilings, in a golden wheat shade. I know it sounds crazy, and looks like I'm setting myself up for disappointment, but it all came in a rush to me last night and it was so exciting that I had to get it down in print. The anticipation has already started to fade, after that miserable dream this morning.
Whether I get the job or not, it's pretty apparent from my response that I really need some kind of help with my general health. (It's pretty hard for me to actually get around to doing something about it.) With this job, maybe I could revel in it.
A poem about *me* - oh, Jenny, what an honor. Just yesterday I was thinking about the only poem ever wrote about me. It was titled "Beside Me She Stands", more than 10 years ago. Poor boy. He never did get what he wanted. I was such a tease and had no clue I was.
And I just emerged from a dream where it was my second wedding to Dan and I was struggling to get my hair in the right shape. (Also running out of time, as usual.) It was starting to look like a cockeyed version of Julia Roberts' wedding hair in Steel Magnolias. Interesting since that's my wedding photo, in which I also did my own hair which slowly disintegrated by the end of the day.
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In a nutshell, I am addicted to sugar.
More later.
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Winter came, which meant comfort food. Then I was in a play, which meant convenience food. Since then I haven't ever completely been able to eat the way I did before.
Here are the things I noticed: when I eat lower carb,
behavior is better: energy is up, moodiness (crying, pointless anger) is nil, home projects get done, no distractions, no lateness to work, no shopping addiction, less piles of mess, no stressful feelings, much better short-term memory.
health is better: no colds WHATSOEVER!!, absolutely no tachycardia, no headaches, less acne, no eyelid puffiness, no yeast infections, no achiness.
I need to find a way to be less addicted. I suspect acupuncture can help me. I want to be flexible and energetic. Yoga or Pilates I want to try.
So that's why this health center sounds so exciting. Working there would make it easy to get treatment. But if I don't get the job, I'm going to try this place out anyway.
I think just typing this out is helping me already. I know more sunlight is also making me feel better. I can't wait to make the change. Thank you.
Reply
Reply
My tachycardia has gotten up to 140 beats per minute - well, no, over that, because they're almost not countable sometimes. It's stress-related. During the months before my wedding, it would start up as soon as I awoke. Maybe even a little before that. I'd have to grab something to drink and relax myself even before I got out of bed. It's especially bad when I'm in a rush for time. My dad had the same experience when he did low-carb - no heart problems whatsoever.
I don't know if it would help you, but when it starts to go fast, I drop what I'm doing and sit in a chair, then bend forward so my chest touches my knees. I don't bear down or any of that, I just bend forward, and I look at my feet, and I think about absolutely nothing. I breathe normally, and just wait a little while. Works like a charm, as long as I nip it in the bud early. Like rubbing your earlobes when you have the hiccups - only works before the 3rd or 4th one.
Reply
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Oh, honey. Morphine. I have no idea what that would be like. What was the accident that hurt your spine?
In regards to low-carb, I would just try to eat as many kinds of protein as I could. You don't have to make it meat. I have a lot of cottage cheese and hot dogs and cheese, simple stuff. I'm sure you could find other things. The protein balances out whatever carbs you do have. Plus lots of vegetables are important, and vitamins, which you probably already take.
I just have to find a way to enjoy cooking. Maybe if my kitchen is super pretty. These would help: http://www.appliance411.com/purchase/retro.shtml!
You are a boon to my existence, too. Good night.
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