Whew! What an experience!!!
Seussical was great - it was so much fun. So many conflicting emotions right now, I'm not sure where to start.
I guess I'll start with the reviews. The critics have been so kind. I'm shocked by the responses from them regarding my performance. One compared me to Aretha Franklin - the Queen of Soul. I'm sure she wouldn't appreciate hearing that. There's also a lot of pressure from a review like that - meaning that I got scared that anyone who read that was going to expect to see Aretha! And if I didn't live up to it, then the burden was mine. Almost like being the plaintiff in a court case: I have to prove that I'm worthy of that kind of praise. Yikes!
But more about that later...
The people in the cast have really touched me. I really got tired of being a "parent." My "shushing" days are finally over. And I plan to never go through that kind of thing again. Why can't people be quiet backstage? That was truly new to me from past experiences. I still don't understand it, but I'm sure in time it will be the thing that I forget about completely - and only the good memories will be left.
I'm still amazed at how many times I heard the phrase "I love you, Reenie!" Wow! Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought I would hear that while I'm just sitting, or thinking, or reading, or watching, or talking to someone else. I never got used to it and I hope I never do. What a wonderful thing to hear. And it's making me cry right now just thinking about it. Funny, people at work never say that lol!!!
The most amazing thing was what happened at the end of the run. It's funny how something you think is so horrible can turn out to be so incredible!
On the last Saturday of the run, I spent the day warming up; my voice was in fine fiddle. I did the warm-ups with the cast and felt great. Then I went out on stage and tried to do my signature "HUMPF!" It came out sounding more like a sick seal than a powerful kangaroo. The fear that shot threw me was only tamped down immediately by the look on Billy Thiedemann's face that I "thought" was saying "Do you really expect me to be afraid of THAT???" I suddenly wanted to bust out laughing. But then I tried to sing, and my voice was gone!!! The fear took back its residence in my heart and I got through the song, roughly, and that was the last good singing performance I gave. The rest of the show I either tried to sing, or spoke.
Joe and Therese, the director and producer came backstage to see if I was alright. They know I have asthma, and were afraid that I was having an attack. I wasn't - I just blew out my vocal chords. They comforted me and told me it was all going to be okay as long as I stayed in character, and then Therese actually APOLOGIZED to me for "having me belt my songs out since March!" It's not her fault - as the owner of the instrument, I should have pulled back at times just to save it for when it's needed. But, again, I thought I would be fine.
I was really disappointed, because I kept thinking about the reviews, and how people were expecting to see the show they read about, and how they weren't going to get it, and it was all my fault. All these people had worked so hard to create this whole product, and I was letting them down. I kept looking at all these people backstage as they raced to change costumes, fix and reapply their makeup, stopped to give me a quick hug and a word of support, and I just wanted to cry. I felt like I was no longer a part of the great production that we worked so hard to make. And I felt like I had loved them so much, like I had never had before.
I croaked through the rest of the show, lip-synching with the cast during the full-cast songs, and then something remarkable happened. We were doing the curtain calls, and I had already prepared myself for the sound of crickets and the vision of tumbleweeds rolling through the aisles when it was my turn to take my call. The music came for me and Tiara (Young Roo) to take our call, and when I went up there - it was amazing.
First I heard the audience let out a loud cheer. Then I realized that the whole cast on the stage was also cheering. I immediately burst out into tears. In one second, I felt more love than I had ever felt before, and it seemed to just punch its way into my body. When the curtain closed, several people let me sob really hard as they just hugged and hugged me.
This is the most amazing cast. And I must have been blind to not have realized just how amazing they were before.
Later that night, Therese and I talked to my Erin, my understudy and Tiara, to tell them to brush up on my part overnight, as I may not have a voice again on closing day, Sunday.
I went home and filled myself with every remedy I could think of to get my voice back. Sunday morning I woke up with the disappointment of my voice being even worse. I made the appropriate phone calls informing the powers that be that I would not be able to sing at all. I called my best friend, Lionel, who told me that my new job was to make sure that I supported Erin as much as I could, and to make sure that she understood that she did not have to worry at all about doing the part the way I did. And that the part was hers now, so to have a lot of fun with it. And then when I started crying all over again, telling him that I had not missed one single rehearsal, and that I had never in my life missed a show, he reminded me that never in my life had I had to belt and wail so much in a show either. Point taken.
After about a half-hour of crying with him on the phone, I decided that it was time to switch gears. I put on a nice outfit, got Frankie dressed, and I still packed my theater bag, just in case Erin was going to freak out and say she couldn't do the show. On the drive on the way there, I thanked God for the amazing experience I had doing the show, and asked for His help to pull me through the day in a positive manner, because I wanted the cast to have a good show, and not think about me at all. It's not about me, it's about the product.
When I got to the theater, Joe and Therese announced to me that they "had a plan." I was to do my role, do only the speaking parts, Tiara was going to sing some of my parts, Erin was going to sing other parts as her own character (I was going to more or less be "narrated" through the show) and the Bird Girls were going to sing my solo verses, as if it was theirs all along. They asked if it was okay with me, and I told them that I would do whatever they wanted me to do. Deep down, I didn't want to do it; I had already said my goodbye's to the role in the car, and now I was about to go get into costume! And I was going to be doing a lot of gesturing.
All of the affected cast was put through a quick and rigorous rehearsal for the new roles that people would be playing. My understudy, Erin has this amazing, strong voice that just gave me goose bumps! Tiara, who is 8, was just such a trooper, and did a great job singing my other parts. The Bird Girls worked their tail feathers off and I was so proud of all of them.
And again, at the curtain call, there was cheering. I'm still astounded. I don't think I really know how or why they cheered, but I'm grateful.
I love this cast, and I loved doing this show. I loved this re-entry into theater; it is something I will never, EVER forget.
And I love Dr. Seuss. He's right - Anything's Possible.
I guess I'll start with the reviews. The critics have been so kind. I'm shocked by the responses from them regarding my performance. One compared me to Aretha Franklin - the Queen of Soul. I'm sure she wouldn't appreciate hearing that. There's also a lot of pressure from a review like that - meaning that I got scared that anyone who read that was going to expect to see Aretha! And if I didn't live up to it, then the burden was mine. Almost like being the plaintiff in a court case: I have to prove that I'm worthy of that kind of praise. Yikes!
But more about that later...
The people in the cast have really touched me. I really got tired of being a "parent." My "shushing" days are finally over. And I plan to never go through that kind of thing again. Why can't people be quiet backstage? That was truly new to me from past experiences. I still don't understand it, but I'm sure in time it will be the thing that I forget about completely - and only the good memories will be left.
I'm still amazed at how many times I heard the phrase "I love you, Reenie!" Wow! Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought I would hear that while I'm just sitting, or thinking, or reading, or watching, or talking to someone else. I never got used to it and I hope I never do. What a wonderful thing to hear. And it's making me cry right now just thinking about it. Funny, people at work never say that lol!!!
The most amazing thing was what happened at the end of the run. It's funny how something you think is so horrible can turn out to be so incredible!
On the last Saturday of the run, I spent the day warming up; my voice was in fine fiddle. I did the warm-ups with the cast and felt great. Then I went out on stage and tried to do my signature "HUMPF!" It came out sounding more like a sick seal than a powerful kangaroo. The fear that shot threw me was only tamped down immediately by the look on Billy Thiedemann's face that I "thought" was saying "Do you really expect me to be afraid of THAT???" I suddenly wanted to bust out laughing. But then I tried to sing, and my voice was gone!!! The fear took back its residence in my heart and I got through the song, roughly, and that was the last good singing performance I gave. The rest of the show I either tried to sing, or spoke.
Joe and Therese, the director and producer came backstage to see if I was alright. They know I have asthma, and were afraid that I was having an attack. I wasn't - I just blew out my vocal chords. They comforted me and told me it was all going to be okay as long as I stayed in character, and then Therese actually APOLOGIZED to me for "having me belt my songs out since March!" It's not her fault - as the owner of the instrument, I should have pulled back at times just to save it for when it's needed. But, again, I thought I would be fine.
I was really disappointed, because I kept thinking about the reviews, and how people were expecting to see the show they read about, and how they weren't going to get it, and it was all my fault. All these people had worked so hard to create this whole product, and I was letting them down. I kept looking at all these people backstage as they raced to change costumes, fix and reapply their makeup, stopped to give me a quick hug and a word of support, and I just wanted to cry. I felt like I was no longer a part of the great production that we worked so hard to make. And I felt like I had loved them so much, like I had never had before.
I croaked through the rest of the show, lip-synching with the cast during the full-cast songs, and then something remarkable happened. We were doing the curtain calls, and I had already prepared myself for the sound of crickets and the vision of tumbleweeds rolling through the aisles when it was my turn to take my call. The music came for me and Tiara (Young Roo) to take our call, and when I went up there - it was amazing.
First I heard the audience let out a loud cheer. Then I realized that the whole cast on the stage was also cheering. I immediately burst out into tears. In one second, I felt more love than I had ever felt before, and it seemed to just punch its way into my body. When the curtain closed, several people let me sob really hard as they just hugged and hugged me.
This is the most amazing cast. And I must have been blind to not have realized just how amazing they were before.
Later that night, Therese and I talked to my Erin, my understudy and Tiara, to tell them to brush up on my part overnight, as I may not have a voice again on closing day, Sunday.
I went home and filled myself with every remedy I could think of to get my voice back. Sunday morning I woke up with the disappointment of my voice being even worse. I made the appropriate phone calls informing the powers that be that I would not be able to sing at all. I called my best friend, Lionel, who told me that my new job was to make sure that I supported Erin as much as I could, and to make sure that she understood that she did not have to worry at all about doing the part the way I did. And that the part was hers now, so to have a lot of fun with it. And then when I started crying all over again, telling him that I had not missed one single rehearsal, and that I had never in my life missed a show, he reminded me that never in my life had I had to belt and wail so much in a show either. Point taken.
After about a half-hour of crying with him on the phone, I decided that it was time to switch gears. I put on a nice outfit, got Frankie dressed, and I still packed my theater bag, just in case Erin was going to freak out and say she couldn't do the show. On the drive on the way there, I thanked God for the amazing experience I had doing the show, and asked for His help to pull me through the day in a positive manner, because I wanted the cast to have a good show, and not think about me at all. It's not about me, it's about the product.
When I got to the theater, Joe and Therese announced to me that they "had a plan." I was to do my role, do only the speaking parts, Tiara was going to sing some of my parts, Erin was going to sing other parts as her own character (I was going to more or less be "narrated" through the show) and the Bird Girls were going to sing my solo verses, as if it was theirs all along. They asked if it was okay with me, and I told them that I would do whatever they wanted me to do. Deep down, I didn't want to do it; I had already said my goodbye's to the role in the car, and now I was about to go get into costume! And I was going to be doing a lot of gesturing.
All of the affected cast was put through a quick and rigorous rehearsal for the new roles that people would be playing. My understudy, Erin has this amazing, strong voice that just gave me goose bumps! Tiara, who is 8, was just such a trooper, and did a great job singing my other parts. The Bird Girls worked their tail feathers off and I was so proud of all of them.
And again, at the curtain call, there was cheering. I'm still astounded. I don't think I really know how or why they cheered, but I'm grateful.
I love this cast, and I loved doing this show. I loved this re-entry into theater; it is something I will never, EVER forget.
And I love Dr. Seuss. He's right - Anything's Possible.