Don't shut me out
tears tears and more tears is all that i've seen for a while. i'd say i've been crying for the past hour or so because i have an asshole for a brother. fucking ass. this probably doesn't seem like such a big deal to anyone but it is for me. he's only in town for two weeks right? well i haven't even seen him for 24 hours the entire time he's been home and he's leaving to go back to georgia on sunday. so i'm taking school off tomorrow so i could play with him and he goes and fucking leaves again. i went to dinner with the parentals, evan and ryan and then he decides he's going out to bar tonight when i had told him a few days ago that i wanted to go out tonight since i don't have anywhere to go tomorrow. ass. then we're supposed to go help evan set up for his party tomorrow, of course he's going to be too lazy and won't feel like doing it. ass. then even though everything won't be ready, he's gonna go off with beau and chris to southdowns. ass. and even if everything is ready and me and evan do go to southdowns he's still gonna go off with beau and chris. ass. i hate him so much right now. it makes me so mad that he's never here, and when he finally gets in town his friends are more important than anyone else. i hate depending on other people. i wish i was older because the fact that i'm only 16 makes it to where i can't do anything because i'm too young. i wish i could go back and fix things but it's not possible and you just gotta deal with what you've got. and it fucking sucks. i feel like drowning myself in alcohol. i hate being depressed. all i do is think about bad things. i could rant and rave about shit for hours and still not feel better. and on that note, i'm out cause i'm sure no one really cares about this shit.