...closely followed by one that is.
So, okay, I can't believe I'm actually blogging about this, but I feel like everyone has to feel my pain, because oh. dear. lord.
So. Episode, like, 4 or 5 of Season 1 of AI opens, and the camera is on the hosts (because in S1 there were two judges to make it like the UK pop idol, yadayadayada, unless they have two people who have known each other since before they hit puberty and have been boyfriends for almost as long you're not going to be able to duplicate Ant & Dec; Ryan and the evil, pervy Brian Dunkleman didn't even LIKE each other) and Ryan looks. Um. A little...excited.
It wouldn't be so bad if (a) he hadn't then stood with his hands clasped in front of his crotch after the titles (whether by accident or by design we shall never know) and (b) it had gone and stayed gone. But it didn't. It sort of...kept happening. Like this:
Which is probably the best accidentally brilliantly/horrifically timed screencap I have ever done, because I didn't pause, I just happened to get it as he turned away slightly and you could see it in profile.
I just...keep trying to tell myself that it was the way his trousers were sitting. Nothing else. It's a trick of the light. Yup.
:/
However, one of the best things about this?
Okay, so y'all know my braintwin
xingou, right? Anyway, when I first started flailing about Ryan and Simon to her, she was like, "but they hate each other!" which led me to google which led me to the obsession you now see before you. I presented her with a whole bunch of proof that (a) they were actually bff and (b) they were more than likely having a lot of buttsex. This was our conversation then on the 19th July):
velvetjinx: The more I read/watch of Simon and Ryan, the more I ship them. Heterosexual men do not hold hands and tickle each other as much as these two do.
xingou: They tickle each other?
xingou: I think I need proof of this
velvetjinx: Yes.
xingou: And the hand holding
velvetjinx: I can send you links.
velvetjinx: Video links.
velvetjinx: And of Simon calling him sweetheart
xingou: Email them so I can look when I get home tonight
velvetjinx: And quotes.
xingou: o_o
velvetjinx: Both of them and their colleagues.
xingou: Quotes?
velvetjinx: YOU SEE WHERE I'M COMING FROM WITH THIS, RIGHT?
xingou: Yes
xingou: Yes I do
velvetjinx: Simon: Are you okay?
Ryan: If I'm not will you hold me later?
Simon: Absolutely
- American Idol
Ryan: True you bought a Bently convertible simply to be fu...photographed in?
Simon: Did you write these questions?
Ryan: Oh stop!
Simon: Look at me. {Puts hand on Ryan's chest} Your hearts beating you wrote them.
- On Air w/ Ryan Seacrest
velvetjinx: Seriously.
velvetjinx: So totally gay boyfriends.
xingou: Holy shit
velvetjinx: ?
xingou: They arwe totally gay for each other
xingou: I never would have guessed
This is how it is now:
velvetjinx: I also know more about what Ryan's cock looks like than I ever needed to
velvetjinx: would like to bleach my brain now
xingou: What?
xingou: Why would you know this?
velvetjinx: dude
velvetjinx: okay
velvetjinx: there was an ep of AI where...he looked like he was, um. a little...excited.
velvetjinx: *makes a face of eep*
velvetjinx: well, I say a 'littl'
velvetjinx: and it was sorta on and off for the whole episode
xingou: Haha
xingou: Simon probably got him worked up before the show and then left him hanging
THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU SHARE A BRAIN WITH SOMEONE. IT MAKES IT EASIER TO TURN THEM TO THE DARKSIDE.
Anyway, I'm sorry for putting this in a place where you all had to see it (if you clicked on the cut, so really it's your own fault, and I'm not that sympathetic). To make things a little better, here's a picture of Ryan in GLASSES OMG:
Here endeth the post of doom.
So. Episode, like, 4 or 5 of Season 1 of AI opens, and the camera is on the hosts (because in S1 there were two judges to make it like the UK pop idol, yadayadayada, unless they have two people who have known each other since before they hit puberty and have been boyfriends for almost as long you're not going to be able to duplicate Ant & Dec; Ryan and the evil, pervy Brian Dunkleman didn't even LIKE each other) and Ryan looks. Um. A little...excited.
It wouldn't be so bad if (a) he hadn't then stood with his hands clasped in front of his crotch after the titles (whether by accident or by design we shall never know) and (b) it had gone and stayed gone. But it didn't. It sort of...kept happening. Like this:
Which is probably the best accidentally brilliantly/horrifically timed screencap I have ever done, because I didn't pause, I just happened to get it as he turned away slightly and you could see it in profile.
I just...keep trying to tell myself that it was the way his trousers were sitting. Nothing else. It's a trick of the light. Yup.
:/
However, one of the best things about this?
Okay, so y'all know my braintwin
xingou, right? Anyway, when I first started flailing about Ryan and Simon to her, she was like, "but they hate each other!" which led me to google which led me to the obsession you now see before you. I presented her with a whole bunch of proof that (a) they were actually bff and (b) they were more than likely having a lot of buttsex. This was our conversation then on the 19th July):
velvetjinx: The more I read/watch of Simon and Ryan, the more I ship them. Heterosexual men do not hold hands and tickle each other as much as these two do.
xingou: They tickle each other?
xingou: I think I need proof of this
velvetjinx: Yes.
xingou: And the hand holding
velvetjinx: I can send you links.
velvetjinx: Video links.
velvetjinx: And of Simon calling him sweetheart
xingou: Email them so I can look when I get home tonight
velvetjinx: And quotes.
xingou: o_o
velvetjinx: Both of them and their colleagues.
xingou: Quotes?
velvetjinx: YOU SEE WHERE I'M COMING FROM WITH THIS, RIGHT?
xingou: Yes
xingou: Yes I do
velvetjinx: Simon: Are you okay?
Ryan: If I'm not will you hold me later?
Simon: Absolutely
- American Idol
Ryan: True you bought a Bently convertible simply to be fu...photographed in?
Simon: Did you write these questions?
Ryan: Oh stop!
Simon: Look at me. {Puts hand on Ryan's chest} Your hearts beating you wrote them.
- On Air w/ Ryan Seacrest
velvetjinx: Seriously.
velvetjinx: So totally gay boyfriends.
xingou: Holy shit
velvetjinx: ?
xingou: They arwe totally gay for each other
xingou: I never would have guessed
This is how it is now:
velvetjinx: I also know more about what Ryan's cock looks like than I ever needed to
velvetjinx: would like to bleach my brain now
xingou: What?
xingou: Why would you know this?
velvetjinx: dude
velvetjinx: okay
velvetjinx: there was an ep of AI where...he looked like he was, um. a little...excited.
velvetjinx: *makes a face of eep*
velvetjinx: well, I say a 'littl'
velvetjinx: and it was sorta on and off for the whole episode
xingou: Haha
xingou: Simon probably got him worked up before the show and then left him hanging
THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU SHARE A BRAIN WITH SOMEONE. IT MAKES IT EASIER TO TURN THEM TO THE DARKSIDE.
Anyway, I'm sorry for putting this in a place where you all had to see it (if you clicked on the cut, so really it's your own fault, and I'm not that sympathetic). To make things a little better, here's a picture of Ryan in GLASSES OMG:
Here endeth the post of doom.