Building Heaven - Part 1 (NCIS, Tim/Tony, NC-17)
Link to master post | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Epilogue
Tony sighed and rolled his shoulders, wincing at the clicks in his neck. He supposed that he should feel like a hero; he had thrown himself in front of a young woman as the bomb had gone off, shielding her from the worst of the blast. Of course, that meant that he had caught it, but thankfully there hadn’t been any shrapnel damage; it had merely thrown him backwards. Gibbs had even forgone smacking him upside the head in his concern, but he had been very lucky, even escaping concussion.
He wondered how many times a person could get that lucky before their luck ran out.
He pulled his t-shirt off over his head, closing his eyes against the pain. He may have escaped concussion and any open wounds, but his whole body felt like one big bruise. All he really wanted to do was have a long, hot shower and….
The knock at the door startled him, and he automatically grabbed his gun before walking carefully over to the door. When he looked through the spy hole, however, he gave a long-suffering sigh and yanked the door open.
“What do you want, Probie?” He could hear the exhaustion coloring his voice, but couldn’t bring himself to care.
McGee just stood there, something that looked like shock on his face. Tony rolled his eyes.
“McGee!” The probie jumped as thought startled out of his thoughts, and Tony wondered - not for the first time - if McGee’s high intelligence was just a cover up for simple mindedness.
“Sorry, Tony, I…” McGee colored, and Tony’s eyes widened incredulously.
“Are you blushing, McGee?” Suddenly realizing how he’d answered the door, he laughed. “Aw, I’m sorry, Probie, does my manly chest insult your maidenly virtues?”
“Shut up, Tony.” McGee’s blush deepened and Tony smothered a laugh. “I just came to see how you were, but I guess I’ll know not to do that again.” He turned quickly to go, but not before Tony had seen the flash of hurt on the other man’s face.
“Hey, come on, McGee, I’m sorry.” He reached out and grabbed Tim’s arm, trying to look as contrite as possible. He knew turning on the charm wouldn’t work with McGee, so he went for sincere. He wasn’t sure it would work, since he hadn’t been sincere for the last few weeks, since Jeanne, but when McGee relaxed and turned towards him again, he had to stifle a sigh of relief.
He opened the door wider, and raised an eyebrow invitingly, smiling to himself as McGee ducked his head and walked into his apartment.
“I’m surprised you kept this place, after…” McGee trailed off, blushing again.
“It’s okay, Probie, you can say it: “after the girl of my dreams left me because I lied to her for the whole of our relationship to get to her father”. That about sum it up?” McGee looked stricken, and Tony, feeling generous (or maybe just too tired to tease), took pity on him. “Hey, it’s okay, man. I mean, if you’d said that to me six weeks ago I would have hit you, but it’s...” He paused as he realized that he was opening up to McGee of all people - he decided to blame the large number of pain-killers he’d taken, making him talk more than he should - but it felt good; cathartic. Plus there was the added bonus of making Ziva mad if she found out that he had talked about it, just not to her.
“It’s getting better,” he said quietly. “I mean, it’s hardly sunshine and roses, and the memories here sometimes get too much, but she did say that she wasn’t coming back, and I had to make a choice.” He glanced up and saw McGee looking at him in confusion. “Oh, yeah, that’s what she wrote in her letter. But you know me, Probie; I’m a commitment-phobe, so screwed up I’d rather stay with a job which’ll probably get me killed than go and live my life with someone I loved.” He drew a hand down his face, suddenly exhausted, and slightly worried how much of his pride this doped-up confession would cost him tomorrow. Not wanting to look at McGee’s face and see pity, he put a hand on the probie’s back and guided him gently towards the door. “Look, man, I appreciate that you came over and everything, but I’m really tired and under the influence of way too many painkillers, and I’ll probably have to headslap you at least an extra fifteen times tomorrow to make up for this.” He glanced up and saw a small understanding smile on Tim’s face.
“No worries, Tony. Just…thought I should make sure you were all right.” Something in McGee’s smile almost made him pause; almost made him take back his wish for Tim to leave and offer him a beer instead, but a giant yawn brought him to his senses.
McGee laughed. “Go get some sleep, Tony,” he said as he left. Closing the door, Tony leaned against it for a moment before staggering tiredly over to his bed and falling asleep, not even bothering to remove his pants.
***
The next morning, Tony arrived at work, a little worried about how McGee would act around him. He’d always had the probie’s respect - well, sorta - and he hated the idea that Tim would think any less of him because of his uncharacteristic show of emotion the previous evening.
He needn’t have worried, however. Probie was the same as he ever was: all geek-speak and raised eyebrows whenever Tony said something. Even Ziva didn’t seem to have picked up on anything strange, which was a wonder. But Gibbs wasn’t in yet, and Gibbs… Well, he knew everything. He hoped that as long as he didn’t say anything, and McGee didn’t say anything, Gibbs wouldn’t be able to figure it out.
To Tony’s eternal surprise, he didn’t, and although the day was quiet due to having absolutely no cases, by the time he went home he was feeling more at ease with himself than he had in months. He kicked his heels up on his coffee table and opened his beer, smiling to himself, before putting on ‘The Sting’.
***
“I heard that McGee is writing a new book.”
Tony turned his head sharply to look at Ziva as she leaned over him with a smug look, one hand planted on his desk and the other on the back of his chair.
“No way. After last time?” Tony chuckled. “Does he know what Gibbs will do to him if he finds out?”
“Do to who, DiNozzo?”
“Uh, nothing, boss.” Tony said quickly, shooting a guilty look at Ziva. “So, any new cases?” Gibbs was doing that staring thing again so Tony just gave him his standard ‘aw, shucks’ look until Gibbs rolled his eyes and starting talking about a Marine’s body which had been found in a rubbish dump in Virginia.
***
The thought of the new book played on Tony’s mind all day. Despite - or perhaps because of; thanks to insane crime fiction readers - the fiasco surrounding the draft of Rock Hollow: The continuing adventures of L.J. Tibbs, McGee had gone on to publish it as yet another bestseller. Tony wasn’t sure how, but there it was. He’d had to read it, of course, since one of the characters was basically him. And he had to admit, he kinda liked how McGee wrote him: suave, handsome; a womanizer, sure, but written in a way you couldn’t help but like him. There had even been a scene where Special Agent McGregor had gone to him for help because, to quote, “McGregor knew that no matter how much of an ass Tommy could be, he was a superb agent who knew what he was talking about and, although he would never tell him, McGregor looked up to the older agent a lot”.
Superb agent. Ha, good to know that Probie had good judgment.
Still, there had been a mention of someone that ‘McGregor’ - read ‘Probie’ - had feelings for in the last book but that he could never tell. This was, frankly, too good to let go and Tony had the feeling that even if it was conveniently ‘forgotten’ in this next book, it would be somewhere in Tim’s notes, and Tony had to know. A plan for getting his hands on these notes began to form, and he grinned to himself. Oh, yes, he would find out who Tim was infatuated with and tease him until the end of time.
***
McGee’s door was ridiculously easy to get through, Tony mused as he effortlessly picked the lock, before pushing the door open as softly as possible. He listened carefully for any clue to where the probie was - if he was playing one of his geek games Tony was screwed before he’d even started - but the sound of a shower running reached his ears and he grinned. Easy as pie.
Tony took a moment to wonder if he should have stopped off for pie first.
He crept towards the probie’s desk. Bypassing the pile of actual manuscript papers on the table next to the typewriter, he went straight for the folder where he knew he’d find McGee’s ideas and ‘free writing’. Grinning, he opened it and began to flick through the paper inside, searching for any mention of….
He stared at the page in front of him, unable to quite believe what he was reading. The probie must have known that he was going to be snooping in his notes and put this in as a joke. It was the only explanation. He blinked and read the page again.
It was night in the office and everyone had gone home. Everyone, that is, except for McGregor and Tommy. They sat in companionable silence for some time, finishing their notes from the case before Tibbs got mad.
As the evening wore on, however, McGregor found himself becoming more and more restless being in the same room as Tommy for so long without another agent as a buffer. Finally, unable to take the frustration, he grabbed his jacket.
“You going home?” Tommy’s voice after so much silence surprised him and he turned quickly.
“Um, yeah.” He swallowed. “I’m pretty much finished now. See you tomorrow.”
He walked as quickly as he could towards the elevator, but before the doors could close, Tommy nipped in. McGregor opened his mouth to ask if he had finished his notes, but before he could say anything Tommy had switched off the elevator and was crowding him against the wall.
“Uh, T-Tommy?” he stuttered, unsure what was happening.
“You know, Probie, I’ve seen you watching me.” Tommy said, a calculating look in his eyes.
“I don’t watch…” McGregor shuddered as Tommy pushed right into his personal space until there was hardly a breath between them.
“You do,” Tommy said, his mouth so close to McGregor’s ear that his lips brushed it with every word. “And I think I know why.” Tommy pushed even closer and McGregor shut his eyes in humiliation, knowing that Tommy wouldn’t be able to miss the fact that he was hard. “I know you want me,” Tommy breathed, moving his head slightly, and suddenly they were kissing. McGregor moaned into the kiss and shifted, this new position bringing to his attention the fact that he was not the only one aroused. Too afraid to ask questions now, in case Tommy freaked out, he brought one hand down from where it had been frantically clutching the back of Tommy’s neck to his zipper.
“This okay?” he asked, his mind begging for Tommy to say yes.
“God, please, Probie.” Tommy’s pupils were blown and his face flushed. McGregor knew he’d never seen anything so gorgeous in his life. He began undoing the fly on Tommy’s jeans….
Tony swallowed, emotions he couldn’t quite figure out flooding through him. As quietly as he could, he put all the papers back, placed the folder on the table where he had found it, and left quickly.
He suddenly realized that he was in his car without actually knowing how he had got there. He didn’t remember walking down from Tim’s apartment to the parking lot, or getting into his car. The words on the page felt burned into his brain and he rubbed his forehead in an attempt to clear them. Tim couldn’t feel like that about him, surely. He wasn’t gay. He’d had that thing with Abby, and then there was the cancelled date with the really hot ice princess last year, and there was no way this was anything, right? Just McGee messing around, and….
Tony laid his head against the steering wheel as he was assailed by a flood of memories: the probie leaning close into Tony’s personal space a lot; the way he would watch Tony sometimes when no-one was looking, which Tony had attributed to suspicion, but now he wasn’t so sure; the way the probie had been last year when he was with Jeanne - stand-offish, almost, and dating a lot of different women which really wasn’t like him; Tim’s face when Tony had answered the door shirtless and he had come over to check that Tony was all right….
Fuck. Tony sat in shock as it sank in. McGee was into him, and Tony had absolutely no idea what he was going to do.
***
Tony knew exactly what he was going to do: he was going to forget the whole thing ever happened, and put it down to an insane dream, because there was absolutely no way that Probie felt that way about him. They had been working together all day trying to find leads on this new case and there had been absolutely no sign that McGee felt anything towards him other than a little respect and a lot of exasperation.
“Hey, Tony.” He nearly jumped a mile into the air as McGee’s voice came from close by his ear. He turned round and glared at the probie who was leaning right over his chair, face close enough that if Tony just moved forward….
Wait. No. Because that was never going to happen.
“Jeez, McGee, you trying to give me a heart attack? What do you want?”
“Shut up, Tony,” McGee said in a scathing tone. But Tony could see a slight color to his cheeks which hadn’t been there a second ago and Tony wondered if he’d realized the same as Tony - that just a little shift on both their parts would bring their mouths together, just like on that page….
“So, um, I realized something and I’ve been running it through my computer…” Tony shook himself and listened as McGee talked way too fast - a nervous habit, and there wasn’t really a good reason for McGee to be that kind of nervous around Tony any more - and tried to focus on solving the case.
***
It took two weeks of long hours before the case was finally closed, and Tony was going crazy. Everywhere he looked, there was McGee - which, okay, could be because they worked on the same team, but even so it was driving Tony nuts. He couldn’t talk to anyone about it because, well, Tony may have been an ass but he wasn’t about to broadcast Tim’s private business all over the office. Not when it was something like this. Telling everyone that Tim was gay when it was all evidence to the contrary and he knew it wasn’t true, that was one thing. But this? Even Tony wouldn’t sink so low.
What had happened the previous night, Tony decided, was definitely because the whole thing had taken over his brain. There was no other explanation for what had happened. But even as he tried to put it out of his mind, the memory popped back in Technicolor and Surround Sound.
It felt like he hadn’t relaxed in a week. Tony began stripping for bed and, when his nail dragged on one of his nipples as he pulled his t-shirt over his head, he realized that he hadn’t relaxed like that in far too long. He thought about going out and finding some cute young thing to scratch the itch, but it was late and he was exhausted, so he figured he may as well do it himself.
He finished stripping and lay down on his back, starting to tease himself as he brought to mind images of girls he’d dated in the past: warm, soft bodies, their breasts heavy in his hands, their mouths wet around his dick…
He spat into his palm and began stroking himself slowly, bringing his other hand down to play with his balls. Biting his lip, he thought of the way those girls felt inside as he fingered them and then fucked them - tight and hot and wet and ohgod. He bit his lip as he felt his orgasm building - it had been too long for him to last more than a few minutes - and suddenly his brain supplied an image of him crowding McGee up against the wall in the elevator and kissing him breathless, cocks rubbing together as they frantically tore at each others’ clothes and McGee put a hand around both of them and started to stroke - and Tony came without warning; head thrown back, toes curling, teeth almost biting right through his lip.
Fuck.
He lay for a while, sweat and spunk cooling on his belly, before pushing those thoughts - he refused to call them fantasies - out of his mind and heading in to the bathroom to shower.
“Tony.” McGee’s voice came from right by his ear and Tony nearly jumped ten feet.
“Jeez, McGee, again? Why do you keep jumping me from behind; you taking lessons from Gibbs?” Tim blushed, and Tony cursed himself for his choice of words, and for making Tim blush, because dammit, it was not adorable. He scowled and McGee looked alarmed.
“I’m sorry, Tony, didn’t realize that trying to get your attention would make you so mad.” There was a hint of bite in his voice and Tony stifled a grin. Whatever this thing was, it hadn’t changed that.
“Just give me a warning next time, huh? So what did you want?”
McGee started telling him about something Abby had found on an ongoing case they were working on, and Tony tried to concentrate on that and not how Tim would look, naked and wanting, because Tony didn’t do that. Not with guys, not with co-workers. No matter what that perverse part of his brain kept telling him, he did not want to have any kind of sex with McGee.
He did not.
***
Tony was amazed that Gibbs hadn’t noticed anything. There had been so much tension between them that Tony had taken to avoiding McGee whenever he could without making it seem too obvious. Every time he closed his eyes he was overwhelmed with images of he and Tim kissing, of them naked, of him bending Tim over one of the desks in the squad room and….
Yeah, Tony was in way over his head. It made no sense, because he’d been totally weirded out when he’d kissed Voss a few years ago, but this… Disturbing as the images were, they got him hotter than anything had for a while, since he’d broken up with Jeanne. And it wasn’t even like he knew what two guys could do. He knew the basics, sure, who didn’t? But there had to be more than jerking off and…that, the thought of which was still actually freaking him out a little because sure, it was fine if he was doing that to Tim, but what if he wanted to do it the other way around?
Tony, ever resourceful, decided that some research was in order.
As soon as he got home that night (or, well, 2am, but that was still pretty early when they were in the middle of a case, so it still counted) he went on the internet, looking for a site where he could get something anonymously and preferably for free. He found a site which looked a bit strange, called ‘Gay porn for girls’ - and what, girls watched gay porn? What the fuck was up with that? - but it had some interesting looking stuff on it so, after a quick search through, he downloaded a few files and sat down to watch.
Five minutes later he sat in front of his laptop, shirt unbuttoned and fly undone, massaging his swollen cock through his boxer briefs as he watched two guys - two really hot guys, if Tony was being honest - naked and stroking and biting, Jesus. One of the guys turned over on his front and Tony watched, thinking that this was it, he was finally gonna get a demonstration of actual sex between two guys. But then the other guy leaned down and starting licking at the other guy’s ass, spreading the bottom’s ass cheeks and licking him open, fucking him with his tongue, and Tony knew that he should feel totally grossed out but it was just so. Fucking. Hot. He couldn’t help but feel seriously turned on, and it was weird. It was like, he was licking his ass which couldn’t be anything but disgusting, but here he was with his dick in his hand so fucking turned on he could barely see.
But then. Ohgod, then the top started pressing slick-looking fingers into the other guy’s ass before turning him over and pushing his cock in. Tony found himself wondering how it felt to have something up…there, and decided that, being an adventurous type, he should find out. He brought his left hand up to his mouth and sucked his finger into his mouth, getting it as wet as he possibly could before trailing it down to his ass. He teased his hole briefly, gasping in surprise at the unexpected pleasure, before pushing in gently.
It didn’t hurt, but it wasn’t exactly pleasant. He held still for a moment, adjusting, and then started moving his finger in and out. It didn’t stop being weird, but it was still getting him pretty hot. He stroked his cock harder and moved his finger faster to the soundtrack of grunts and moans on his laptop and came messily all over his sofa.
“Fuck.” He wiped himself off with his shirt before tossing it towards his bedroom door. So he definitely wasn’t a hundred percent straight, then. He couldn’t understand how he had got to the age he was without realizing this about himself, but there it was. Maybe some people just took a little longer to realize these things? But the problem was, now that he knew, what the hell was he supposed to do about it?
***
Tony had only just sat at his desk the next morning when Gibbs appeared, looking worried.
“Grab your gear; Abby’s just had the results back on the DNA test.”
“Whose was it?” Tony asked, racing with Ziva and McGee to catch up with Gibbs at the elevator.
“Corporal Dent.”
Tony stared at Gibbs. “His best friend?”
“Yup,” Gibbs nodded. “And he’s gone AWOL, but there’s a report of him being spotted in Shenandoah National Park. Possibly armed.”
Tony nodded, mouth set in a grim line, as the jumped into the car and Gibbs pushed the pedal to the floor.
****
Tony ran as fast as he could, passing Ziva and Gibbs as they ran towards Tim’s prone body. They had all heard the shot but Tony refused to believe that Tim could be… Oh, god, it was just like Kate all over again and Tony couldn’t stop it and what if Tim died, what the hell was he going to do? He skidded to his knees beside Tim, ignoring the stinging pain in his knees, and rolled him over, feeling for a pulse. As Tony’s hand touched Tim’s neck, the probie let out a shaky breath and Tony felt his heart restart.
“Tim?”
McGee stared up at him, blinking. “Tony? What…?”
“Hey, shh, don’t move. You’ve been shot, man.” He pulled open Tim’s jacket and shirt, staring in disbelief as he got to the bullet-proof vest. “You wore a vest.” Tony felt hysterical laughter bubble up in his throat, stopped only by the arrival of Ziva and Gibbs. He stepped back and let the others tend to Tim while he tried to calm his racing heart. He called the paramedics - Tim may not be bleeding, but he could have a concussion - and sat by as McGee and Ziva and Gibbs joked about it, trying to ease the tension.
When the paramedics arrived, Tony didn’t want to let McGee out of his sight. Luckily they decided not to take him into hospital, after ascertaining that he didn’t have a concussion, thank god. Ziva tried to convince Tony to go and get his knees seen to - he had really scraped them when he had skidded, and they hurt like a bitch - but Tony was adamant that, um, no.
“It would be a blow to my manly pride!” he said, puffing out his chest.
“What? Why?” Ziva looked incredulous.
“Because, Ziva, it’s just a couple of scratches, like a kid would get from falling off a bike or something. You don’t need a paramedic for that!” Out of the corner of his eye, he could see McGee watching the exchange with a small smile. At least they were cheering him up, so he continued. “Imagine if James Bond had gone to a paramedic every time he got a scraped knee. He never would have saved anyone from Russians. Or crazy scientists. You know why? Because no-one would ever have been afraid of him!”
“I don’t think anyone’s afraid of you, Tony.”
Tony hid a smile and turned around. “Yeah, McGee? You never met any of those guys I busted in Baltimore.”
“Yeah, I’m sure all those insane murderers were really scared.” There was a twinkle in McGee’s eye, and Tony had a sudden realization that if McGee had been a girl, he would have called this flirting. As it was, he had no idea what to call it. He decided to keep playing, see how far he could push it.
“You’re damn right, McGee. It’s ‘cause they recognized that I am not someone to be messed with.”
“Oh yeah? Why is that?” McGee was out-and-out smirking now, but the twinkle in his eyes had turned into something…darker.
Unable to resist, Tony stalked over to where McGee was sitting on the ambulance step and leaned against the side, causing Tim to look up and Tony had a vision of Tim on his knees, looking up with that exact same expression before reaching for his fly… He pulled that thought up short and smiled darkly at the probie.
“Because they knew that I would be relentless in catching them,” he said, his voice dropping deeper, more gravelly. “When I set my sights on someone, McGee, I don’t give up until I’ve caught them.” He watched McGee swallow hard before turning to where Gibbs and Ziva were in conversation with Ducky about the bastard who had shot at McGee, and who, thanks to Gibbs, hadn’t lived to tell the tale. “Hey, boss,” he yelled, motioning towards McGee when the boss looked over. “Is McGee okay for me to take him home?” He could see McGee’s reaction to his deliberate choice of words and felt his lips twitching.
“Yeah, sure,” Gibbs called back, before turning back to Ducky.
The paramedic came up to him with a serious look on his face. “Now, make sure that as soon as you get him home he goes straight to bed and doesn’t overexert himself.”
“Sure thing,” Tony said, grinning at the paramedic before hauling Tim to his feet. “C’mon, Probie, let’s do as the paramedic says and get you into bed.” He ignored Tim’s spluttering and dragged him towards the car.
***
The ride home was quiet; despite the humor and flirting, Tony was still pretty shaken up about the whole thing. He could have lost Tim, just like that, never having said anything to him about…about whatever it was that this thing had become. As soon as they reached the door of McGee’s apartment, however, Tim turned to him with a wary look in his eyes.
“You don’t have to come in, you know, Tony. I can take care of myself.”
“I’m sure you can, Probie, but doctor’s orders say I have to take care of you.” Tim shrugged and opened the door, and Tony followed, closing it sharply behind him. “And the first thing I have to do,” he breathed, stalking towards Tim and pushing him up against the wall, “is put you to bed.”
“T-Tony?” Tim’s eyes were wide with confusion, but his pupils were blown wide and a flush was traveling up from his neck, over his cheeks.
Tony leaned in and spoke into McGee’s ear, just like on that damned page, making sure his lips brushed skin with every word. “You know, we could have lost you out there today if you hadn’t been wearing that vest.” He paused, trying to clear the residual panic from his mind. “Do you know how that feels?” He drew back, looking into slightly guarded eyes. “God, you drive me insane,” he breathed, before leaning in and touching his lips to Tim’s.
For a moment, nothing happened. For a moment, Tony wondered if he was going to have to high-tail it out of there and quit his job and never show his face again because he had somehow got this whole thing all wrong. But only for a moment, because then Tim’s mouth softened against his, and they moved, and suddenly they were kissing for real.
Tony couldn’t help but overthink the whole situation; it was his first time consciously kissing a dude, for Christ’s sake, and it all felt really, really strange. There was stubble, and since McGee was slightly - only slightly - taller than him, Tony had to lean up a little, which, weird. There was no real softness; sure, McGee wasn’t the skinniest guy ever, but there were no curves when Tony pressed harder against him. It felt…not wrong, exactly, but it was different enough that Tony felt himself starting to panic. Tim must have felt it too, because a second later he was pushed backwards.
“Tony.” Tim’s voice was rough, breathless. “What are you doing?” His eyes were wary, but hopeful, and Tony chose his words carefully, knowing that the wrong words could destroy whatever this was.
“Honestly?” Tim nodded. “Honestly, I don’t know, exactly, but I’ve been thinking about it and I don’t…” He sighed, trying to figure out how to word what he was feeling, but before he’d managed he felt Tim trying to escape from under his arms. Tony had never been a big thinker, but he always trusted his instincts, and right now his instincts were telling him that to let Tim go would be a bad idea, so instead he crowded back in to Tim’s space. He could feel McGee shaking underneath him, and knew that although this could turn out to be the worst idea he’d ever had, he had to try. “I don’t know what I’m doing, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want it.” He laughed. “God, Probie, you know how I feel about this stuff…” Tim raised an eyebrow and he grinned. “Sharing feelings, that kind of thing. To be honest, it makes me hugely uncomfortable and I don’t know that I can do it now. But I meant what I said. I want this.”
“So you expect me to believe that Tony DiNozzo, who never met a cute girl he didn’t like, suddenly decided that guys were an option?” Tim’s laugh was brittle. “I remember Lieutenant Commander Voss, how you reacted when you found out who she was. And you suddenly want to…whatever…with me?” His eyes narrowed. “How did you even know that I would be into it?”
“I, uh….”
“Tony?” Tim’s voice was pure suspicion, and Tony didn’t have a credible lie.
“I maybe found a scene from your new book which had an interesting interaction between McGregor and Tommy,” he said quickly, watching Tim’s eyes darken again, this time in anger.
“You looked through my stuff? Jesus, Tony! And, what, you thought you’d play a little game with me?” He looked so hurt that Tony felt…something…stirring in his chest.
“No, McGee, you’ve got me all wrong. This isn’t a game.”
“Then what the hell is it?”
“It’s me wanting you and not knowing what to do with it! You have no idea what… Ever since I read it I’ve had these thoughts, and you know, it’s been really uncomfortable because I’ve had to try and hide a hard-on from Gibbs pretty much every time you looked at me. Haven’t been this bad since I was a teenager. I even downloaded gay porn in case it was a fluke, and do you know what? It wasn’t! I mean, how the hell do you get to my age and not know this about yourself?” He had backed up as he spoke and was suddenly feeling lost, hoping McGee had the answers to the questions which had been bothering him since this whole thing started. He was barely aware of Tim coming up behind him until he felt a hand on his shoulder.
“I don’t know, Tony.” He heard Tim sigh. “But maybe we should think about this before we do anything, huh?”
Tony shook his head. “I’ve already thought about it, Tim, and I just…” He trailed off. “Today, I thought you’d been killed, and I just went crazy, and all I could think about was how if you died I wouldn’t know what I’d do.” He turned around, cupping Tim’s face in both hands. “And if you don’t want this, tell me, because I am scared enough about this whole thing without having you mmph!” Tim had been watching him consideringly as he spoke and had suddenly dragged him forward, pulling him into a kiss. His eyes slipped closed as he lost himself in the feel of Tim’s lips on his, of the light scratch of stubble on his chin. He only just managed to catch himself in time from moaning with loss when Tim pulled back. Unlike last time, though, Tim’s eyes were full of mischief rather than distrust.
“So do you think this would count as over-exerting myself?”
“Oh, shit.” Tony had forgotten that Tim was supposed to be taking it easy. “Hey, maybe you’re right…”
“Tony, I was kidding.” He smiled, before his look turned more serious. “But you’re gonna have to tell me how far you want this to go, because…”
Tony nodded, suddenly extremely nervous. “Let’s just see how things go, yeah?”
Tim smiled and, after grabbing Tony’s hand, led him through to the bedroom. Tony tried not to think about how his palms were sweating, or about how he was about to be naked with another guy in a non-locker-room-after-football kind of way. But as soon as they were there Tim kissed him again, and for a few minutes Tony’s world was soft lips and whimpers and rough hands on his face. When he felt those hands coming up to unbutton his shirt he made a noise which to his dying day he would deny was a squeak, and almost pulled away, but Tim brought one hand up to cup the back of his head and keep him in place and, yeah, he wasn’t going anywhere. Then his shirt was off his shoulders, and somewhere in his mind was the logic that it wasn’t fair that he was the only one shirtless, so he began to unbutton Tim’s shirt. He started from the top, and felt Tim starting from the bottom. When their hands met in the middle they joined and pushed his shirt off together. Then Tim was pulling of his undershirt and finally, finally, they were skin on skin.
He was aware of being moved backwards before his legs hit the bed and, surprised, he sat with a thump, but Tim’s lips never left his. He scooted backwards and Tim climbed on top of him, straddling him. He felt Tim’s cock pressing against his stomach and had a moment to think how utterly bizarre it was before Tim’s hands were on his fly and all coherent though flew from his head.
He felt his fly being unbuttoned, then his pants and boxers being pulled down over his hips. He lifted up, trying to help, but they still got caught around his knees, and suddenly they were both laughing. Tony looked up at Tim, and his breath caught in his throat at the look in Tim’s eyes. Then Tim was sliding down his body, pulling off shoes and sock - both Tony’s and his own - then dragging Tony’s pants and underwear the rest of the way. Tony bit his lip, watching as Tim began to crawl back up, but stopped half way and grinned. Before Tony could ask him what he was doing, he had bent over and taken the head of Tony’s cock into his mouth, and all Tony could do was bite his lip and groan as his head fell back. Tim’s mouth was unbelievable, sucking with just the right pressure, using his tongue to press on the thick vein on the underside and drive him crazy. And his hands, God; one was playing with his balls, the other holding down his hips to stop him from thrusting. He felt the pressure build and tugged lightly with the hand which had somehow found its way into Tim’s hair.
“Tim, god, fuck, you gotta stop or I’m gonna come.”
His cock fell out of Tim’s mouth with a wet pop, and Tim grinned. “We don’t want that; I’ve got plans for this,” he said, his voice a hoarse promise.
“What…?” Tony managed, but Tim was stripping out of his own pants and Tony’s mouth went dry as he took in the site of Tim, naked and hard. “C’mere,” he croaked, and Tim was back on top of him, kissing him hungrily, and their cocks were rubbing together and Christ, it was the best thing ever. Tim’s mouth seemed to be everywhere; on his lips, neck, biting at his jawline and hell, wasn’t the fact that Probie was a biter a real surprise? Then Tim’s mouth was at his ear, and Tony nearly came when Tim whispered,
“God, Tony, need you to fuck me.”
“Christ, yeah,” he managed, and suddenly he was treated to the site of Tim smearing lube all over his fingers, reaching back and, god, fucking himself. Tony couldn’t believe his eyes; couldn’t believe that this was all for him. Tim was gorgeous. Head thrown back, flushed, biting his lip as he added another finger. “Turn around,” he said hoarsely. “Wanna see.” Tim nodded and withdrew his fingers before turning around so he was straddling Tony’s lap the other way. He leaned forward, balancing himself on his right hand while he brought his left back around and pushed two fingers inside his slick hole. Tony moaned loudly at the sight and suddenly Tim turned back around, mouth planted on Tony’s. Moments later, Tony felt the familiar slide of latex on his cock, the coolness of the lube, and then Tim leaned down and stroked his clean hand down the side of Tony’s face as he wiped his other hand on the sheets.
“You all right?” Tim’s voice showed only a hint of strain, but there was a look of worry on his face. As if Tony was capable of stopping.
“I’m fine. Better than fine, even.” He smiled and grabbed Tim’s hand, ignoring the feel of the residual lube. Tim returned the smile, and leaned back, steadying Tony’s cock as he sank down slowly. Tony’s eyes almost rolled back in his head as he was enveloped in tight heat. When he was buried inside he looked up, watching the strain on Tim’s face, the sweat forming on his forehead, and couldn’t help a grin. “God, you look amazing,” he breathed, as Tim opened his eyes and looked down at Tony, eyes almost all pupil.
“You’re looking pretty good yourself,” Tim gasped, before lifting himself up and dropping back down again. “Nnngh, fuck, you feel so good, Tony, knew you’d feel amazing,” he babbled as Tony started to thrust up to meet him. Tony felt himself getting lost in the sensations, but there was no way he was going to come yet. No matter how good it felt, he had a reputation to uphold when it came to sex, and the fact that this was with a guy made no difference. He leaned up and dragged Tim’s head down for a kiss, smiling as Tim moaned into his mouth. He brought his left hand back down - his right was still clutching Tim’s left - and began stroking Tim’s cock. It was a little awkward; he was using his left hand, and it was another guy’s cock, for god’s sake. But somehow, it seemed to work, because Tim was moaning and arching; it only took a few more strokes and thrusts, then Tim cried out “Tony!” and came all over Tony’s hand and both their stomachs. Tony managed another two thrusts in that tight pulsing heat before he came deep inside Tim, biting his lip as Tim slumped forward and buried his face in Tony’s neck. They lay that way for a few moments, just breathing, before Tim raised himself up off of Tony’s cock, wincing a little, and collapsed on the bed next to him.
As the haze of orgasm cleared, Tony looked over to where Tim lay, flushed and breathing heavily, and the full realization of what they’d just done came crashing down on him. It must have shown in his face, because Tim’s expression immediately closed off.
“So here come the regrets, huh?” he asked dryly, making as though to get up. And yeah, okay, maybe Tony was still coming to terms with the fact that he’d just had sex with a guy and really, really enjoyed it, but he knew that if Tim left the bed this would be over, and he wasn’t ready for that. Not yet. He shot out a hand and pulled Tim back down, and Tim fell forward onto his chest with an “Oof!” He stared at Tony in surprise. “Tony, what…?”
“Okay, yeah, I may be freaking out a little,” Tony said in as matter-of-fact a tone as he could muster. “But that doesn’t mean you can deny me my post-coital snuggle time, Probie.”
Tim looked at him for a moment, before bursting into surprised laughter. “Tony DiNozzo’s a cuddler. Who knew?”
“Only about two other people on the planet, Probie. I don’t do this with everyone. Now shut up and snuggle.”
Tim lay down on his side, his head resting on Tony’s shoulder and his arm creeping across Tony’s stomach. “You know,” he said conversationally, and Tony rolled his eyes. Trust McGee to be a talker after sex. “You calling me ‘Probie’ when we’re like this? Not winning you any points.”
“You love it,” Tony retorted, tightening his arms around Tim and closing his eyes.
***
He woke up a couple of hours later, experiencing a moment of panic before he remembered where he was and who he was in bed with. He had fully expected some kind of major breakdown, but all he felt was content. And hungry, but he couldn’t move without waking Tim, so he was content to lie there for a few minutes until Tim’s breathing changed and all he heard was, “Ugh, Tony, Jesus!”
“What? What is it?” Oh, god, had he done something wrong? He had explained to Tim that he was new to this whole ‘gay sex’ thing, hadn’t he?
“You should have let me get up for a cloth or something, because this is seriously gross.” It took Tony a moment to realize what Tim was talking about, but when he brought a hand down to scratch at his stomach and came away with dried flakes of come under his nails he got it.
“Ew.” A thought occurred to him, and he grinned. “You know what this means, don’t you, McGee?”
Tim raised his head to look warily at Tony. “What?”
Tony’s eyes flicked down to Tim’s mouth as he spoke, and he smiled. “It means,” he said quietly, “that we’ll just have to shower to get ourselves clean.” He leaned forward and kissed Tim gently, and then with increasingly more passion as they pulled each other closer.
“Thought you might have changed your mind and started freaking out, or something,” Tim muttered into his mouth between kisses. Tony pulled back just enough to look at Tim’s face, and saw the insecurity there underneath the joking tone.
He smiled. “Nah, are you kidding? Anthony DiNozzo does not freak out.”
Tim rolled his eyes. “Oh, please, you totally do.” There were a few moments of comfortable silence before Tim spoke again. “Tony, I… I need you to be honest with me.”
Tony raised an eyebrow at the serious note in Tim’s voice. “Okay, what’s up?”
“I need you to tell me if this is just one of your flings, because…well, because.”
Tony stared at him in disbelief. “Okay, first off? You are such a girl. Needing to know where a relationship is going? C’mon, man.” Tim looked hurt, and Tony cursed himself inwardly for his inability to be serious. “But hey, in all seriousness, do you honestly think that I would have done this with just anyone? Tim, I’m pretty much brand new to this, as you might have guessed, but I’m not using you for some kind of experiment, and I’m not looking for a fling.” He smiled. “I guess that assignment with Jeanne kinda made me see what it’s like to have an actual relationship, and maybe I’m ready for that now. Whatever it is, I’m not… Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that this is definitely forever, but I don’t want to put a time limit on it, you know? Can’t we just…see where it takes us?”
Tim smiled at him, before leaning down to kiss him. “Yeah, I think we can do that. I take it you’ve already figured out that I’m pretty into you, huh?”
“Of course you are, Probie. I mean, look at me! Who wouldn’t be?”
“Ass,” Tim laughed, whacking him on the arm. “And stop calling me Probie! You called me Tim before.”
“I’ve called you Tim a few times. Doesn’t mean I’m gonna stop calling you Probie.” He sighed. “You know they can’t find out about this at work, right?”
Tim’s face clouded over for a second, but then he nodded. “Yeah, I know. Rule number twelve, right?”
“Yeah, there’s that, but Gibbs’ll probably figure it out anyway.”
“Probably.”
“And then there’s everyone else. I just…This is too new, y’know? I don’t like everybody knowing my business.”
“So you don’t want anyone to know we’re sleeping together. Thanks, DiNozzo, that’s great.” Tim had a look on his face which was equal parts hurt and disgust, and Tony shook his head vigorously.
“No, god, no, that’s not what I meant. Well, it is, but not how you’re thinking.”
“So explain it to me.” Tim had retreated to his end of the bed, where before they had been lying together in the middle, and Tony felt the loss almost immediately.
“I’m not ashamed, if that’s what you’re thinking; not of you. It’s just that it would be awkward. I mean, it’s not like anyone knows about you, is it?”
Tim opened and closed his mouth a few times, but no sound came out. After a moment of this, he managed, “I guess not, no.”
“And why is that?”
Tim sighed. “Because in the current political climate it’s extremely ill-advised. Also, I was pretty sure you wouldn’t take it well.” Tim’s sly look made Tony want to jump him and do indecent things to him, but he wasn’t sure of how things were done with another guy so he restrained himself. Barely. “I guess that isn’t a problem now, huh.”
Tony grinned, and then winced. “Can we save any more of this delightful talk about our relationship until after we’ve showered? Because this is seriously gross,” he declared, standing up and stretching, and trying not to smile smugly as he saw Tim’s eyes, filled with lust, roam over his naked body. Thank god for all that gym time he put in. He’d never had much shame when it came to being naked with someone he’d just had sex with, but it never hurt to look good and show it off once in a while.
Tim nodded. “You can have the first shower, if you want.”
Tony blinked, trying to hide his disappointment. “Oh. I’d just thought that maybe we could, you know, shower together? It would be totally economical, after all - save water, save the planet, and all that jazz.”
Tim laughed, a purely delighted sound that matched the expression on his face, and Tony’s chest went tight at the sight. “You know, Tony, you have some brilliant ideas.”
“C’mon, Probie, you’ve only just figured that out?” Tony asked, holding out a hand to pull Tim up off the bed - the best thing about this move being that, as soon as he was standing, Tony could pull him right in close and god, the feel of all that skin against his almost made his brain explode. He slid his hands around Tim’s back, then down to cup his ass as he leaned in for a kiss. He felt Tim’s mouth open under his as the kiss deepened, and started squeezing McGee’s ass, pulling his cheeks apart and dragging one finger down his crack to tease at his hole. Tim broke away from the kiss with a gasp.
“Go, or we’ll never get a shower. I’ll meet you in there.”
Tony pouted a little, but did as he was told since he was only just remembering the fact that Tim had been shot only a few hours ago and was supposed to be taking it easy. He switched on the shower and got it to a good temperature, and was about to call on Tim to see what was taking him so long when he felt arms snake around his waist and kisses being pressed on his shoulder. He leaned back, amazed by the feeling of being in this position, supported by someone who was the same height as him. It felt weird, sure, but there wasn’t really anything about this situation that didn’t. Tim’s hard cock rubbing between his ass cheeks was possibly the weirdest thing at this moment, Tony mused, but then Tim’s hand closed over his cock and he could only gasp.
Then Tim was gone, and Tony made a noise which was not a whimper at the loss of pressure. But Tim was in the shower, looking at him with an expression which promised more pressure in different ways, and Tony stepped in to join him.
They kissed languidly under the spray for a while, hands roaming while they learned each other’s bodies. The only male body Tony had known like this was his own and, although it felt as though his brain was belaboring the point, it was not going to stop being strange that quickly. He laughed and said as much to Tim.
“This is so strange,” he managed between kisses.
“Hmm?”
“You’re totally not a girl.”
Tim drew back, looking confused. “Um, yeah, I pretty much thought we’d established that.”
“Yeah, I know, but…” Tony couldn’t think of a way to explain himself which wouldn’t either cause Tim to laugh at him or throw him out. He decided to go for the truth. “It’s just all so different.” Tim looked at him questioningly, and he squirmed a little. There was a sudden look of comprehension on Tim’s face, and Tony half expected Tim to get mad. Instead, Tim threw back his head and laughed. Tony stared at him in amazement.
“You’re getting confused because, what, you’ve only just figured out that boys and girls are different underneath their clothes?” Tim asked grinning, and Tony pouted.
“Oh, come on, it’s not funny! It’s…I’m…” He scowled. “I feel like a fucking virgin. I didn’t even feel like that when I was a virgin, and I haven’t been one of those since I was fifteen.”
“Hey.” He looked up and saw Tim smiling at him; gently, but with an edge that made his cock twitch. “Don’t worry, Tony. I get that this is all new to you, and weird, and that you’re gonna probably freak out about it at some point. And if you want some time to adjust later, I’m not going to stop you.” He moved forward, wrapping his arms around Tony’s waist and pulling him in close. “But right now,” he continued, leaning forward and nipping Tony’s lip, soothing the small hurt with his tongue, “I want you to fuck me again.”
Tony groaned, pushing Tim up against the wall of the shower and kissing him hard, tongues and teeth clashing. “Where’s…the…god…condoms…lube…” he managed.
“What do you think took me so long when I sent you through first?” Tim asked, smiling against his mouth, and Tony groaned as he felt Tim rolling a condom over his cock. He opened his eyes in time to see Tim lubing up his fingers and reaching back, but Tony caught his hand.
“Wait…Can I…?” Tim’s eyes went wide and he nodded, swallowing. He turned around, bracing himself against the wall with his forearms, and Tony spread the lube over his fingers. He teased Tim’s entrance for a few moments, cataloguing every whimper and sigh, before tentatively pushing in a finger. Tim let out a high-pitched noise and Tony suppressed a laugh, pushing his finger in further. He could feel Tim’s muscles squeezing his finger, thought about how they had squeezed his cock only a few hours before, and groaned into Tim’s shoulder.
“M-more, Tony; I can take more.”
Tony bit his lip and drew his finger out, before slowly pushing in two together. Tim moaned, and pushed back, fucking himself on Tony’s fingers. Tony looked down and saw Tim’s hole, pink and shiny, stretched around his fingers and nearly lost it there and then. He tugged his balls down with his free hand to stop himself from coming, and leaned forward, muttering in Tim’s ear. “God, need to fuck you, can I?”
“God, yes,” Tim panted. “Don’t need any more prep, just fuck me, fuck, Tony, fuck me.”
Tony pulled his fingers out of Tim’s ass and spread the lube over his cock. After throwing the tube away - they later discovered that it had landed perfectly in the toothpaste holder, a shot even Tony couldn’t have got if he’d tried - he held himself steady and pressed his cock at Tim’s entrance.
“Yeah?” he asked, unable to manage any more complicated speech.
“Yeah,” Tim answered, and Tony wrapped his arm around Tim’s waist before pushing in slowly. He’d had anal sex with girls before, thank god, so he knew something at least, especially that he had to go slow until Tim adjusted. But Tim was already pushing back against Tony, making noises that he would never have imagined Tim could make, even in his wildest fantasies. He dragged Tim’s head back for a kiss, using his other hand to reach round and begin to stroke Tim’s cock, teasing; much like he would have done to himself - bringing his hand up to scratch over a nipple, then down to play with Tim’s balls, relishing the whimper that caused.
It felt as though it could go on forever, standing under the spray and breathing into each others’ mouths. But soon the need to come was too pressing - not to mention that the shower was running out of hot water - and Tony began to thrust harder, stroking faster, until Tim was throwing his head back and crying out, and Tony was biting into Tim’s shoulder and thrusting one last time, coming so hard his vision grayed out.
They stood kissing lazily for a while, until the water became too cold to bear; then they both washed quickly and stepped out of the shower, drying off as quickly as they could. After they wandered back through into the bedroom, Tony looked at the clock and sighed.
“What?” Tim asked, stretching his arms over his head lazily. Tony’s brain shorted at the sight and it took him a moment to re-gather his thoughts.
“Um, it’s getting late.” He tried to keep any hopefulness out of his voice; it wasn’t fair to expect anything. Anyway, the logistics of it wouldn’t work; he never gave Tim a lift into work, although he could probably use the fact he’d been shot as an excuse; tell Gibbs that he slept on Tim’s sofa to make sure that he wasn’t injured, but maybe Tim didn’t want him to stay and ohgod, what if he’d done something wrong and….
“Uh, Tony?” Tony snapped out of his panicked thoughts and looked at Tim questioningly. “Do you, uh…” Tim blushed. “Did you maybe want to stay here? Tonight?”
Tony reached out and grabbed hold of Tim’s arm, pulling him in. He kissed him slowly, kisses for the sake of kisses. There was no way it was going anywhere yet; Tony wasn’t that young any more, and his recovery time wasn’t what it used to be. But Tony liked kissing, so he was content to do this forever, before he remembered that Tim had asked him a question. He pulled away from Tim’s lips long enough to say, “That’s a yes, by the way, Probie,” before diving back in. They fell on the bed, laughing, crawling up the bed and settling under the covers; Tim’s back to Tony’s front and Tony’s arm draped over Tim’s body. He pressed a last kiss to Tim’s shoulder and, as he fell asleep, he felt Tim’s fingers entwine with his.
___________________
Link to master post | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Epilogue
Tony sighed and rolled his shoulders, wincing at the clicks in his neck. He supposed that he should feel like a hero; he had thrown himself in front of a young woman as the bomb had gone off, shielding her from the worst of the blast. Of course, that meant that he had caught it, but thankfully there hadn’t been any shrapnel damage; it had merely thrown him backwards. Gibbs had even forgone smacking him upside the head in his concern, but he had been very lucky, even escaping concussion.
He wondered how many times a person could get that lucky before their luck ran out.
He pulled his t-shirt off over his head, closing his eyes against the pain. He may have escaped concussion and any open wounds, but his whole body felt like one big bruise. All he really wanted to do was have a long, hot shower and….
The knock at the door startled him, and he automatically grabbed his gun before walking carefully over to the door. When he looked through the spy hole, however, he gave a long-suffering sigh and yanked the door open.
“What do you want, Probie?” He could hear the exhaustion coloring his voice, but couldn’t bring himself to care.
McGee just stood there, something that looked like shock on his face. Tony rolled his eyes.
“McGee!” The probie jumped as thought startled out of his thoughts, and Tony wondered - not for the first time - if McGee’s high intelligence was just a cover up for simple mindedness.
“Sorry, Tony, I…” McGee colored, and Tony’s eyes widened incredulously.
“Are you blushing, McGee?” Suddenly realizing how he’d answered the door, he laughed. “Aw, I’m sorry, Probie, does my manly chest insult your maidenly virtues?”
“Shut up, Tony.” McGee’s blush deepened and Tony smothered a laugh. “I just came to see how you were, but I guess I’ll know not to do that again.” He turned quickly to go, but not before Tony had seen the flash of hurt on the other man’s face.
“Hey, come on, McGee, I’m sorry.” He reached out and grabbed Tim’s arm, trying to look as contrite as possible. He knew turning on the charm wouldn’t work with McGee, so he went for sincere. He wasn’t sure it would work, since he hadn’t been sincere for the last few weeks, since Jeanne, but when McGee relaxed and turned towards him again, he had to stifle a sigh of relief.
He opened the door wider, and raised an eyebrow invitingly, smiling to himself as McGee ducked his head and walked into his apartment.
“I’m surprised you kept this place, after…” McGee trailed off, blushing again.
“It’s okay, Probie, you can say it: “after the girl of my dreams left me because I lied to her for the whole of our relationship to get to her father”. That about sum it up?” McGee looked stricken, and Tony, feeling generous (or maybe just too tired to tease), took pity on him. “Hey, it’s okay, man. I mean, if you’d said that to me six weeks ago I would have hit you, but it’s...” He paused as he realized that he was opening up to McGee of all people - he decided to blame the large number of pain-killers he’d taken, making him talk more than he should - but it felt good; cathartic. Plus there was the added bonus of making Ziva mad if she found out that he had talked about it, just not to her.
“It’s getting better,” he said quietly. “I mean, it’s hardly sunshine and roses, and the memories here sometimes get too much, but she did say that she wasn’t coming back, and I had to make a choice.” He glanced up and saw McGee looking at him in confusion. “Oh, yeah, that’s what she wrote in her letter. But you know me, Probie; I’m a commitment-phobe, so screwed up I’d rather stay with a job which’ll probably get me killed than go and live my life with someone I loved.” He drew a hand down his face, suddenly exhausted, and slightly worried how much of his pride this doped-up confession would cost him tomorrow. Not wanting to look at McGee’s face and see pity, he put a hand on the probie’s back and guided him gently towards the door. “Look, man, I appreciate that you came over and everything, but I’m really tired and under the influence of way too many painkillers, and I’ll probably have to headslap you at least an extra fifteen times tomorrow to make up for this.” He glanced up and saw a small understanding smile on Tim’s face.
“No worries, Tony. Just…thought I should make sure you were all right.” Something in McGee’s smile almost made him pause; almost made him take back his wish for Tim to leave and offer him a beer instead, but a giant yawn brought him to his senses.
McGee laughed. “Go get some sleep, Tony,” he said as he left. Closing the door, Tony leaned against it for a moment before staggering tiredly over to his bed and falling asleep, not even bothering to remove his pants.
***
The next morning, Tony arrived at work, a little worried about how McGee would act around him. He’d always had the probie’s respect - well, sorta - and he hated the idea that Tim would think any less of him because of his uncharacteristic show of emotion the previous evening.
He needn’t have worried, however. Probie was the same as he ever was: all geek-speak and raised eyebrows whenever Tony said something. Even Ziva didn’t seem to have picked up on anything strange, which was a wonder. But Gibbs wasn’t in yet, and Gibbs… Well, he knew everything. He hoped that as long as he didn’t say anything, and McGee didn’t say anything, Gibbs wouldn’t be able to figure it out.
To Tony’s eternal surprise, he didn’t, and although the day was quiet due to having absolutely no cases, by the time he went home he was feeling more at ease with himself than he had in months. He kicked his heels up on his coffee table and opened his beer, smiling to himself, before putting on ‘The Sting’.
***
“I heard that McGee is writing a new book.”
Tony turned his head sharply to look at Ziva as she leaned over him with a smug look, one hand planted on his desk and the other on the back of his chair.
“No way. After last time?” Tony chuckled. “Does he know what Gibbs will do to him if he finds out?”
“Do to who, DiNozzo?”
“Uh, nothing, boss.” Tony said quickly, shooting a guilty look at Ziva. “So, any new cases?” Gibbs was doing that staring thing again so Tony just gave him his standard ‘aw, shucks’ look until Gibbs rolled his eyes and starting talking about a Marine’s body which had been found in a rubbish dump in Virginia.
***
The thought of the new book played on Tony’s mind all day. Despite - or perhaps because of; thanks to insane crime fiction readers - the fiasco surrounding the draft of Rock Hollow: The continuing adventures of L.J. Tibbs, McGee had gone on to publish it as yet another bestseller. Tony wasn’t sure how, but there it was. He’d had to read it, of course, since one of the characters was basically him. And he had to admit, he kinda liked how McGee wrote him: suave, handsome; a womanizer, sure, but written in a way you couldn’t help but like him. There had even been a scene where Special Agent McGregor had gone to him for help because, to quote, “McGregor knew that no matter how much of an ass Tommy could be, he was a superb agent who knew what he was talking about and, although he would never tell him, McGregor looked up to the older agent a lot”.
Superb agent. Ha, good to know that Probie had good judgment.
Still, there had been a mention of someone that ‘McGregor’ - read ‘Probie’ - had feelings for in the last book but that he could never tell. This was, frankly, too good to let go and Tony had the feeling that even if it was conveniently ‘forgotten’ in this next book, it would be somewhere in Tim’s notes, and Tony had to know. A plan for getting his hands on these notes began to form, and he grinned to himself. Oh, yes, he would find out who Tim was infatuated with and tease him until the end of time.
***
McGee’s door was ridiculously easy to get through, Tony mused as he effortlessly picked the lock, before pushing the door open as softly as possible. He listened carefully for any clue to where the probie was - if he was playing one of his geek games Tony was screwed before he’d even started - but the sound of a shower running reached his ears and he grinned. Easy as pie.
Tony took a moment to wonder if he should have stopped off for pie first.
He crept towards the probie’s desk. Bypassing the pile of actual manuscript papers on the table next to the typewriter, he went straight for the folder where he knew he’d find McGee’s ideas and ‘free writing’. Grinning, he opened it and began to flick through the paper inside, searching for any mention of….
He stared at the page in front of him, unable to quite believe what he was reading. The probie must have known that he was going to be snooping in his notes and put this in as a joke. It was the only explanation. He blinked and read the page again.
It was night in the office and everyone had gone home. Everyone, that is, except for McGregor and Tommy. They sat in companionable silence for some time, finishing their notes from the case before Tibbs got mad.
As the evening wore on, however, McGregor found himself becoming more and more restless being in the same room as Tommy for so long without another agent as a buffer. Finally, unable to take the frustration, he grabbed his jacket.
“You going home?” Tommy’s voice after so much silence surprised him and he turned quickly.
“Um, yeah.” He swallowed. “I’m pretty much finished now. See you tomorrow.”
He walked as quickly as he could towards the elevator, but before the doors could close, Tommy nipped in. McGregor opened his mouth to ask if he had finished his notes, but before he could say anything Tommy had switched off the elevator and was crowding him against the wall.
“Uh, T-Tommy?” he stuttered, unsure what was happening.
“You know, Probie, I’ve seen you watching me.” Tommy said, a calculating look in his eyes.
“I don’t watch…” McGregor shuddered as Tommy pushed right into his personal space until there was hardly a breath between them.
“You do,” Tommy said, his mouth so close to McGregor’s ear that his lips brushed it with every word. “And I think I know why.” Tommy pushed even closer and McGregor shut his eyes in humiliation, knowing that Tommy wouldn’t be able to miss the fact that he was hard. “I know you want me,” Tommy breathed, moving his head slightly, and suddenly they were kissing. McGregor moaned into the kiss and shifted, this new position bringing to his attention the fact that he was not the only one aroused. Too afraid to ask questions now, in case Tommy freaked out, he brought one hand down from where it had been frantically clutching the back of Tommy’s neck to his zipper.
“This okay?” he asked, his mind begging for Tommy to say yes.
“God, please, Probie.” Tommy’s pupils were blown and his face flushed. McGregor knew he’d never seen anything so gorgeous in his life. He began undoing the fly on Tommy’s jeans….
Tony swallowed, emotions he couldn’t quite figure out flooding through him. As quietly as he could, he put all the papers back, placed the folder on the table where he had found it, and left quickly.
He suddenly realized that he was in his car without actually knowing how he had got there. He didn’t remember walking down from Tim’s apartment to the parking lot, or getting into his car. The words on the page felt burned into his brain and he rubbed his forehead in an attempt to clear them. Tim couldn’t feel like that about him, surely. He wasn’t gay. He’d had that thing with Abby, and then there was the cancelled date with the really hot ice princess last year, and there was no way this was anything, right? Just McGee messing around, and….
Tony laid his head against the steering wheel as he was assailed by a flood of memories: the probie leaning close into Tony’s personal space a lot; the way he would watch Tony sometimes when no-one was looking, which Tony had attributed to suspicion, but now he wasn’t so sure; the way the probie had been last year when he was with Jeanne - stand-offish, almost, and dating a lot of different women which really wasn’t like him; Tim’s face when Tony had answered the door shirtless and he had come over to check that Tony was all right….
Fuck. Tony sat in shock as it sank in. McGee was into him, and Tony had absolutely no idea what he was going to do.
***
Tony knew exactly what he was going to do: he was going to forget the whole thing ever happened, and put it down to an insane dream, because there was absolutely no way that Probie felt that way about him. They had been working together all day trying to find leads on this new case and there had been absolutely no sign that McGee felt anything towards him other than a little respect and a lot of exasperation.
“Hey, Tony.” He nearly jumped a mile into the air as McGee’s voice came from close by his ear. He turned round and glared at the probie who was leaning right over his chair, face close enough that if Tony just moved forward….
Wait. No. Because that was never going to happen.
“Jeez, McGee, you trying to give me a heart attack? What do you want?”
“Shut up, Tony,” McGee said in a scathing tone. But Tony could see a slight color to his cheeks which hadn’t been there a second ago and Tony wondered if he’d realized the same as Tony - that just a little shift on both their parts would bring their mouths together, just like on that page….
“So, um, I realized something and I’ve been running it through my computer…” Tony shook himself and listened as McGee talked way too fast - a nervous habit, and there wasn’t really a good reason for McGee to be that kind of nervous around Tony any more - and tried to focus on solving the case.
***
It took two weeks of long hours before the case was finally closed, and Tony was going crazy. Everywhere he looked, there was McGee - which, okay, could be because they worked on the same team, but even so it was driving Tony nuts. He couldn’t talk to anyone about it because, well, Tony may have been an ass but he wasn’t about to broadcast Tim’s private business all over the office. Not when it was something like this. Telling everyone that Tim was gay when it was all evidence to the contrary and he knew it wasn’t true, that was one thing. But this? Even Tony wouldn’t sink so low.
What had happened the previous night, Tony decided, was definitely because the whole thing had taken over his brain. There was no other explanation for what had happened. But even as he tried to put it out of his mind, the memory popped back in Technicolor and Surround Sound.
It felt like he hadn’t relaxed in a week. Tony began stripping for bed and, when his nail dragged on one of his nipples as he pulled his t-shirt over his head, he realized that he hadn’t relaxed like that in far too long. He thought about going out and finding some cute young thing to scratch the itch, but it was late and he was exhausted, so he figured he may as well do it himself.
He finished stripping and lay down on his back, starting to tease himself as he brought to mind images of girls he’d dated in the past: warm, soft bodies, their breasts heavy in his hands, their mouths wet around his dick…
He spat into his palm and began stroking himself slowly, bringing his other hand down to play with his balls. Biting his lip, he thought of the way those girls felt inside as he fingered them and then fucked them - tight and hot and wet and ohgod. He bit his lip as he felt his orgasm building - it had been too long for him to last more than a few minutes - and suddenly his brain supplied an image of him crowding McGee up against the wall in the elevator and kissing him breathless, cocks rubbing together as they frantically tore at each others’ clothes and McGee put a hand around both of them and started to stroke - and Tony came without warning; head thrown back, toes curling, teeth almost biting right through his lip.
Fuck.
He lay for a while, sweat and spunk cooling on his belly, before pushing those thoughts - he refused to call them fantasies - out of his mind and heading in to the bathroom to shower.
“Tony.” McGee’s voice came from right by his ear and Tony nearly jumped ten feet.
“Jeez, McGee, again? Why do you keep jumping me from behind; you taking lessons from Gibbs?” Tim blushed, and Tony cursed himself for his choice of words, and for making Tim blush, because dammit, it was not adorable. He scowled and McGee looked alarmed.
“I’m sorry, Tony, didn’t realize that trying to get your attention would make you so mad.” There was a hint of bite in his voice and Tony stifled a grin. Whatever this thing was, it hadn’t changed that.
“Just give me a warning next time, huh? So what did you want?”
McGee started telling him about something Abby had found on an ongoing case they were working on, and Tony tried to concentrate on that and not how Tim would look, naked and wanting, because Tony didn’t do that. Not with guys, not with co-workers. No matter what that perverse part of his brain kept telling him, he did not want to have any kind of sex with McGee.
He did not.
***
Tony was amazed that Gibbs hadn’t noticed anything. There had been so much tension between them that Tony had taken to avoiding McGee whenever he could without making it seem too obvious. Every time he closed his eyes he was overwhelmed with images of he and Tim kissing, of them naked, of him bending Tim over one of the desks in the squad room and….
Yeah, Tony was in way over his head. It made no sense, because he’d been totally weirded out when he’d kissed Voss a few years ago, but this… Disturbing as the images were, they got him hotter than anything had for a while, since he’d broken up with Jeanne. And it wasn’t even like he knew what two guys could do. He knew the basics, sure, who didn’t? But there had to be more than jerking off and…that, the thought of which was still actually freaking him out a little because sure, it was fine if he was doing that to Tim, but what if he wanted to do it the other way around?
Tony, ever resourceful, decided that some research was in order.
As soon as he got home that night (or, well, 2am, but that was still pretty early when they were in the middle of a case, so it still counted) he went on the internet, looking for a site where he could get something anonymously and preferably for free. He found a site which looked a bit strange, called ‘Gay porn for girls’ - and what, girls watched gay porn? What the fuck was up with that? - but it had some interesting looking stuff on it so, after a quick search through, he downloaded a few files and sat down to watch.
Five minutes later he sat in front of his laptop, shirt unbuttoned and fly undone, massaging his swollen cock through his boxer briefs as he watched two guys - two really hot guys, if Tony was being honest - naked and stroking and biting, Jesus. One of the guys turned over on his front and Tony watched, thinking that this was it, he was finally gonna get a demonstration of actual sex between two guys. But then the other guy leaned down and starting licking at the other guy’s ass, spreading the bottom’s ass cheeks and licking him open, fucking him with his tongue, and Tony knew that he should feel totally grossed out but it was just so. Fucking. Hot. He couldn’t help but feel seriously turned on, and it was weird. It was like, he was licking his ass which couldn’t be anything but disgusting, but here he was with his dick in his hand so fucking turned on he could barely see.
But then. Ohgod, then the top started pressing slick-looking fingers into the other guy’s ass before turning him over and pushing his cock in. Tony found himself wondering how it felt to have something up…there, and decided that, being an adventurous type, he should find out. He brought his left hand up to his mouth and sucked his finger into his mouth, getting it as wet as he possibly could before trailing it down to his ass. He teased his hole briefly, gasping in surprise at the unexpected pleasure, before pushing in gently.
It didn’t hurt, but it wasn’t exactly pleasant. He held still for a moment, adjusting, and then started moving his finger in and out. It didn’t stop being weird, but it was still getting him pretty hot. He stroked his cock harder and moved his finger faster to the soundtrack of grunts and moans on his laptop and came messily all over his sofa.
“Fuck.” He wiped himself off with his shirt before tossing it towards his bedroom door. So he definitely wasn’t a hundred percent straight, then. He couldn’t understand how he had got to the age he was without realizing this about himself, but there it was. Maybe some people just took a little longer to realize these things? But the problem was, now that he knew, what the hell was he supposed to do about it?
***
Tony had only just sat at his desk the next morning when Gibbs appeared, looking worried.
“Grab your gear; Abby’s just had the results back on the DNA test.”
“Whose was it?” Tony asked, racing with Ziva and McGee to catch up with Gibbs at the elevator.
“Corporal Dent.”
Tony stared at Gibbs. “His best friend?”
“Yup,” Gibbs nodded. “And he’s gone AWOL, but there’s a report of him being spotted in Shenandoah National Park. Possibly armed.”
Tony nodded, mouth set in a grim line, as the jumped into the car and Gibbs pushed the pedal to the floor.
****
Tony ran as fast as he could, passing Ziva and Gibbs as they ran towards Tim’s prone body. They had all heard the shot but Tony refused to believe that Tim could be… Oh, god, it was just like Kate all over again and Tony couldn’t stop it and what if Tim died, what the hell was he going to do? He skidded to his knees beside Tim, ignoring the stinging pain in his knees, and rolled him over, feeling for a pulse. As Tony’s hand touched Tim’s neck, the probie let out a shaky breath and Tony felt his heart restart.
“Tim?”
McGee stared up at him, blinking. “Tony? What…?”
“Hey, shh, don’t move. You’ve been shot, man.” He pulled open Tim’s jacket and shirt, staring in disbelief as he got to the bullet-proof vest. “You wore a vest.” Tony felt hysterical laughter bubble up in his throat, stopped only by the arrival of Ziva and Gibbs. He stepped back and let the others tend to Tim while he tried to calm his racing heart. He called the paramedics - Tim may not be bleeding, but he could have a concussion - and sat by as McGee and Ziva and Gibbs joked about it, trying to ease the tension.
When the paramedics arrived, Tony didn’t want to let McGee out of his sight. Luckily they decided not to take him into hospital, after ascertaining that he didn’t have a concussion, thank god. Ziva tried to convince Tony to go and get his knees seen to - he had really scraped them when he had skidded, and they hurt like a bitch - but Tony was adamant that, um, no.
“It would be a blow to my manly pride!” he said, puffing out his chest.
“What? Why?” Ziva looked incredulous.
“Because, Ziva, it’s just a couple of scratches, like a kid would get from falling off a bike or something. You don’t need a paramedic for that!” Out of the corner of his eye, he could see McGee watching the exchange with a small smile. At least they were cheering him up, so he continued. “Imagine if James Bond had gone to a paramedic every time he got a scraped knee. He never would have saved anyone from Russians. Or crazy scientists. You know why? Because no-one would ever have been afraid of him!”
“I don’t think anyone’s afraid of you, Tony.”
Tony hid a smile and turned around. “Yeah, McGee? You never met any of those guys I busted in Baltimore.”
“Yeah, I’m sure all those insane murderers were really scared.” There was a twinkle in McGee’s eye, and Tony had a sudden realization that if McGee had been a girl, he would have called this flirting. As it was, he had no idea what to call it. He decided to keep playing, see how far he could push it.
“You’re damn right, McGee. It’s ‘cause they recognized that I am not someone to be messed with.”
“Oh yeah? Why is that?” McGee was out-and-out smirking now, but the twinkle in his eyes had turned into something…darker.
Unable to resist, Tony stalked over to where McGee was sitting on the ambulance step and leaned against the side, causing Tim to look up and Tony had a vision of Tim on his knees, looking up with that exact same expression before reaching for his fly… He pulled that thought up short and smiled darkly at the probie.
“Because they knew that I would be relentless in catching them,” he said, his voice dropping deeper, more gravelly. “When I set my sights on someone, McGee, I don’t give up until I’ve caught them.” He watched McGee swallow hard before turning to where Gibbs and Ziva were in conversation with Ducky about the bastard who had shot at McGee, and who, thanks to Gibbs, hadn’t lived to tell the tale. “Hey, boss,” he yelled, motioning towards McGee when the boss looked over. “Is McGee okay for me to take him home?” He could see McGee’s reaction to his deliberate choice of words and felt his lips twitching.
“Yeah, sure,” Gibbs called back, before turning back to Ducky.
The paramedic came up to him with a serious look on his face. “Now, make sure that as soon as you get him home he goes straight to bed and doesn’t overexert himself.”
“Sure thing,” Tony said, grinning at the paramedic before hauling Tim to his feet. “C’mon, Probie, let’s do as the paramedic says and get you into bed.” He ignored Tim’s spluttering and dragged him towards the car.
***
The ride home was quiet; despite the humor and flirting, Tony was still pretty shaken up about the whole thing. He could have lost Tim, just like that, never having said anything to him about…about whatever it was that this thing had become. As soon as they reached the door of McGee’s apartment, however, Tim turned to him with a wary look in his eyes.
“You don’t have to come in, you know, Tony. I can take care of myself.”
“I’m sure you can, Probie, but doctor’s orders say I have to take care of you.” Tim shrugged and opened the door, and Tony followed, closing it sharply behind him. “And the first thing I have to do,” he breathed, stalking towards Tim and pushing him up against the wall, “is put you to bed.”
“T-Tony?” Tim’s eyes were wide with confusion, but his pupils were blown wide and a flush was traveling up from his neck, over his cheeks.
Tony leaned in and spoke into McGee’s ear, just like on that damned page, making sure his lips brushed skin with every word. “You know, we could have lost you out there today if you hadn’t been wearing that vest.” He paused, trying to clear the residual panic from his mind. “Do you know how that feels?” He drew back, looking into slightly guarded eyes. “God, you drive me insane,” he breathed, before leaning in and touching his lips to Tim’s.
For a moment, nothing happened. For a moment, Tony wondered if he was going to have to high-tail it out of there and quit his job and never show his face again because he had somehow got this whole thing all wrong. But only for a moment, because then Tim’s mouth softened against his, and they moved, and suddenly they were kissing for real.
Tony couldn’t help but overthink the whole situation; it was his first time consciously kissing a dude, for Christ’s sake, and it all felt really, really strange. There was stubble, and since McGee was slightly - only slightly - taller than him, Tony had to lean up a little, which, weird. There was no real softness; sure, McGee wasn’t the skinniest guy ever, but there were no curves when Tony pressed harder against him. It felt…not wrong, exactly, but it was different enough that Tony felt himself starting to panic. Tim must have felt it too, because a second later he was pushed backwards.
“Tony.” Tim’s voice was rough, breathless. “What are you doing?” His eyes were wary, but hopeful, and Tony chose his words carefully, knowing that the wrong words could destroy whatever this was.
“Honestly?” Tim nodded. “Honestly, I don’t know, exactly, but I’ve been thinking about it and I don’t…” He sighed, trying to figure out how to word what he was feeling, but before he’d managed he felt Tim trying to escape from under his arms. Tony had never been a big thinker, but he always trusted his instincts, and right now his instincts were telling him that to let Tim go would be a bad idea, so instead he crowded back in to Tim’s space. He could feel McGee shaking underneath him, and knew that although this could turn out to be the worst idea he’d ever had, he had to try. “I don’t know what I’m doing, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want it.” He laughed. “God, Probie, you know how I feel about this stuff…” Tim raised an eyebrow and he grinned. “Sharing feelings, that kind of thing. To be honest, it makes me hugely uncomfortable and I don’t know that I can do it now. But I meant what I said. I want this.”
“So you expect me to believe that Tony DiNozzo, who never met a cute girl he didn’t like, suddenly decided that guys were an option?” Tim’s laugh was brittle. “I remember Lieutenant Commander Voss, how you reacted when you found out who she was. And you suddenly want to…whatever…with me?” His eyes narrowed. “How did you even know that I would be into it?”
“I, uh….”
“Tony?” Tim’s voice was pure suspicion, and Tony didn’t have a credible lie.
“I maybe found a scene from your new book which had an interesting interaction between McGregor and Tommy,” he said quickly, watching Tim’s eyes darken again, this time in anger.
“You looked through my stuff? Jesus, Tony! And, what, you thought you’d play a little game with me?” He looked so hurt that Tony felt…something…stirring in his chest.
“No, McGee, you’ve got me all wrong. This isn’t a game.”
“Then what the hell is it?”
“It’s me wanting you and not knowing what to do with it! You have no idea what… Ever since I read it I’ve had these thoughts, and you know, it’s been really uncomfortable because I’ve had to try and hide a hard-on from Gibbs pretty much every time you looked at me. Haven’t been this bad since I was a teenager. I even downloaded gay porn in case it was a fluke, and do you know what? It wasn’t! I mean, how the hell do you get to my age and not know this about yourself?” He had backed up as he spoke and was suddenly feeling lost, hoping McGee had the answers to the questions which had been bothering him since this whole thing started. He was barely aware of Tim coming up behind him until he felt a hand on his shoulder.
“I don’t know, Tony.” He heard Tim sigh. “But maybe we should think about this before we do anything, huh?”
Tony shook his head. “I’ve already thought about it, Tim, and I just…” He trailed off. “Today, I thought you’d been killed, and I just went crazy, and all I could think about was how if you died I wouldn’t know what I’d do.” He turned around, cupping Tim’s face in both hands. “And if you don’t want this, tell me, because I am scared enough about this whole thing without having you mmph!” Tim had been watching him consideringly as he spoke and had suddenly dragged him forward, pulling him into a kiss. His eyes slipped closed as he lost himself in the feel of Tim’s lips on his, of the light scratch of stubble on his chin. He only just managed to catch himself in time from moaning with loss when Tim pulled back. Unlike last time, though, Tim’s eyes were full of mischief rather than distrust.
“So do you think this would count as over-exerting myself?”
“Oh, shit.” Tony had forgotten that Tim was supposed to be taking it easy. “Hey, maybe you’re right…”
“Tony, I was kidding.” He smiled, before his look turned more serious. “But you’re gonna have to tell me how far you want this to go, because…”
Tony nodded, suddenly extremely nervous. “Let’s just see how things go, yeah?”
Tim smiled and, after grabbing Tony’s hand, led him through to the bedroom. Tony tried not to think about how his palms were sweating, or about how he was about to be naked with another guy in a non-locker-room-after-football kind of way. But as soon as they were there Tim kissed him again, and for a few minutes Tony’s world was soft lips and whimpers and rough hands on his face. When he felt those hands coming up to unbutton his shirt he made a noise which to his dying day he would deny was a squeak, and almost pulled away, but Tim brought one hand up to cup the back of his head and keep him in place and, yeah, he wasn’t going anywhere. Then his shirt was off his shoulders, and somewhere in his mind was the logic that it wasn’t fair that he was the only one shirtless, so he began to unbutton Tim’s shirt. He started from the top, and felt Tim starting from the bottom. When their hands met in the middle they joined and pushed his shirt off together. Then Tim was pulling of his undershirt and finally, finally, they were skin on skin.
He was aware of being moved backwards before his legs hit the bed and, surprised, he sat with a thump, but Tim’s lips never left his. He scooted backwards and Tim climbed on top of him, straddling him. He felt Tim’s cock pressing against his stomach and had a moment to think how utterly bizarre it was before Tim’s hands were on his fly and all coherent though flew from his head.
He felt his fly being unbuttoned, then his pants and boxers being pulled down over his hips. He lifted up, trying to help, but they still got caught around his knees, and suddenly they were both laughing. Tony looked up at Tim, and his breath caught in his throat at the look in Tim’s eyes. Then Tim was sliding down his body, pulling off shoes and sock - both Tony’s and his own - then dragging Tony’s pants and underwear the rest of the way. Tony bit his lip, watching as Tim began to crawl back up, but stopped half way and grinned. Before Tony could ask him what he was doing, he had bent over and taken the head of Tony’s cock into his mouth, and all Tony could do was bite his lip and groan as his head fell back. Tim’s mouth was unbelievable, sucking with just the right pressure, using his tongue to press on the thick vein on the underside and drive him crazy. And his hands, God; one was playing with his balls, the other holding down his hips to stop him from thrusting. He felt the pressure build and tugged lightly with the hand which had somehow found its way into Tim’s hair.
“Tim, god, fuck, you gotta stop or I’m gonna come.”
His cock fell out of Tim’s mouth with a wet pop, and Tim grinned. “We don’t want that; I’ve got plans for this,” he said, his voice a hoarse promise.
“What…?” Tony managed, but Tim was stripping out of his own pants and Tony’s mouth went dry as he took in the site of Tim, naked and hard. “C’mere,” he croaked, and Tim was back on top of him, kissing him hungrily, and their cocks were rubbing together and Christ, it was the best thing ever. Tim’s mouth seemed to be everywhere; on his lips, neck, biting at his jawline and hell, wasn’t the fact that Probie was a biter a real surprise? Then Tim’s mouth was at his ear, and Tony nearly came when Tim whispered,
“God, Tony, need you to fuck me.”
“Christ, yeah,” he managed, and suddenly he was treated to the site of Tim smearing lube all over his fingers, reaching back and, god, fucking himself. Tony couldn’t believe his eyes; couldn’t believe that this was all for him. Tim was gorgeous. Head thrown back, flushed, biting his lip as he added another finger. “Turn around,” he said hoarsely. “Wanna see.” Tim nodded and withdrew his fingers before turning around so he was straddling Tony’s lap the other way. He leaned forward, balancing himself on his right hand while he brought his left back around and pushed two fingers inside his slick hole. Tony moaned loudly at the sight and suddenly Tim turned back around, mouth planted on Tony’s. Moments later, Tony felt the familiar slide of latex on his cock, the coolness of the lube, and then Tim leaned down and stroked his clean hand down the side of Tony’s face as he wiped his other hand on the sheets.
“You all right?” Tim’s voice showed only a hint of strain, but there was a look of worry on his face. As if Tony was capable of stopping.
“I’m fine. Better than fine, even.” He smiled and grabbed Tim’s hand, ignoring the feel of the residual lube. Tim returned the smile, and leaned back, steadying Tony’s cock as he sank down slowly. Tony’s eyes almost rolled back in his head as he was enveloped in tight heat. When he was buried inside he looked up, watching the strain on Tim’s face, the sweat forming on his forehead, and couldn’t help a grin. “God, you look amazing,” he breathed, as Tim opened his eyes and looked down at Tony, eyes almost all pupil.
“You’re looking pretty good yourself,” Tim gasped, before lifting himself up and dropping back down again. “Nnngh, fuck, you feel so good, Tony, knew you’d feel amazing,” he babbled as Tony started to thrust up to meet him. Tony felt himself getting lost in the sensations, but there was no way he was going to come yet. No matter how good it felt, he had a reputation to uphold when it came to sex, and the fact that this was with a guy made no difference. He leaned up and dragged Tim’s head down for a kiss, smiling as Tim moaned into his mouth. He brought his left hand back down - his right was still clutching Tim’s left - and began stroking Tim’s cock. It was a little awkward; he was using his left hand, and it was another guy’s cock, for god’s sake. But somehow, it seemed to work, because Tim was moaning and arching; it only took a few more strokes and thrusts, then Tim cried out “Tony!” and came all over Tony’s hand and both their stomachs. Tony managed another two thrusts in that tight pulsing heat before he came deep inside Tim, biting his lip as Tim slumped forward and buried his face in Tony’s neck. They lay that way for a few moments, just breathing, before Tim raised himself up off of Tony’s cock, wincing a little, and collapsed on the bed next to him.
As the haze of orgasm cleared, Tony looked over to where Tim lay, flushed and breathing heavily, and the full realization of what they’d just done came crashing down on him. It must have shown in his face, because Tim’s expression immediately closed off.
“So here come the regrets, huh?” he asked dryly, making as though to get up. And yeah, okay, maybe Tony was still coming to terms with the fact that he’d just had sex with a guy and really, really enjoyed it, but he knew that if Tim left the bed this would be over, and he wasn’t ready for that. Not yet. He shot out a hand and pulled Tim back down, and Tim fell forward onto his chest with an “Oof!” He stared at Tony in surprise. “Tony, what…?”
“Okay, yeah, I may be freaking out a little,” Tony said in as matter-of-fact a tone as he could muster. “But that doesn’t mean you can deny me my post-coital snuggle time, Probie.”
Tim looked at him for a moment, before bursting into surprised laughter. “Tony DiNozzo’s a cuddler. Who knew?”
“Only about two other people on the planet, Probie. I don’t do this with everyone. Now shut up and snuggle.”
Tim lay down on his side, his head resting on Tony’s shoulder and his arm creeping across Tony’s stomach. “You know,” he said conversationally, and Tony rolled his eyes. Trust McGee to be a talker after sex. “You calling me ‘Probie’ when we’re like this? Not winning you any points.”
“You love it,” Tony retorted, tightening his arms around Tim and closing his eyes.
***
He woke up a couple of hours later, experiencing a moment of panic before he remembered where he was and who he was in bed with. He had fully expected some kind of major breakdown, but all he felt was content. And hungry, but he couldn’t move without waking Tim, so he was content to lie there for a few minutes until Tim’s breathing changed and all he heard was, “Ugh, Tony, Jesus!”
“What? What is it?” Oh, god, had he done something wrong? He had explained to Tim that he was new to this whole ‘gay sex’ thing, hadn’t he?
“You should have let me get up for a cloth or something, because this is seriously gross.” It took Tony a moment to realize what Tim was talking about, but when he brought a hand down to scratch at his stomach and came away with dried flakes of come under his nails he got it.
“Ew.” A thought occurred to him, and he grinned. “You know what this means, don’t you, McGee?”
Tim raised his head to look warily at Tony. “What?”
Tony’s eyes flicked down to Tim’s mouth as he spoke, and he smiled. “It means,” he said quietly, “that we’ll just have to shower to get ourselves clean.” He leaned forward and kissed Tim gently, and then with increasingly more passion as they pulled each other closer.
“Thought you might have changed your mind and started freaking out, or something,” Tim muttered into his mouth between kisses. Tony pulled back just enough to look at Tim’s face, and saw the insecurity there underneath the joking tone.
He smiled. “Nah, are you kidding? Anthony DiNozzo does not freak out.”
Tim rolled his eyes. “Oh, please, you totally do.” There were a few moments of comfortable silence before Tim spoke again. “Tony, I… I need you to be honest with me.”
Tony raised an eyebrow at the serious note in Tim’s voice. “Okay, what’s up?”
“I need you to tell me if this is just one of your flings, because…well, because.”
Tony stared at him in disbelief. “Okay, first off? You are such a girl. Needing to know where a relationship is going? C’mon, man.” Tim looked hurt, and Tony cursed himself inwardly for his inability to be serious. “But hey, in all seriousness, do you honestly think that I would have done this with just anyone? Tim, I’m pretty much brand new to this, as you might have guessed, but I’m not using you for some kind of experiment, and I’m not looking for a fling.” He smiled. “I guess that assignment with Jeanne kinda made me see what it’s like to have an actual relationship, and maybe I’m ready for that now. Whatever it is, I’m not… Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that this is definitely forever, but I don’t want to put a time limit on it, you know? Can’t we just…see where it takes us?”
Tim smiled at him, before leaning down to kiss him. “Yeah, I think we can do that. I take it you’ve already figured out that I’m pretty into you, huh?”
“Of course you are, Probie. I mean, look at me! Who wouldn’t be?”
“Ass,” Tim laughed, whacking him on the arm. “And stop calling me Probie! You called me Tim before.”
“I’ve called you Tim a few times. Doesn’t mean I’m gonna stop calling you Probie.” He sighed. “You know they can’t find out about this at work, right?”
Tim’s face clouded over for a second, but then he nodded. “Yeah, I know. Rule number twelve, right?”
“Yeah, there’s that, but Gibbs’ll probably figure it out anyway.”
“Probably.”
“And then there’s everyone else. I just…This is too new, y’know? I don’t like everybody knowing my business.”
“So you don’t want anyone to know we’re sleeping together. Thanks, DiNozzo, that’s great.” Tim had a look on his face which was equal parts hurt and disgust, and Tony shook his head vigorously.
“No, god, no, that’s not what I meant. Well, it is, but not how you’re thinking.”
“So explain it to me.” Tim had retreated to his end of the bed, where before they had been lying together in the middle, and Tony felt the loss almost immediately.
“I’m not ashamed, if that’s what you’re thinking; not of you. It’s just that it would be awkward. I mean, it’s not like anyone knows about you, is it?”
Tim opened and closed his mouth a few times, but no sound came out. After a moment of this, he managed, “I guess not, no.”
“And why is that?”
Tim sighed. “Because in the current political climate it’s extremely ill-advised. Also, I was pretty sure you wouldn’t take it well.” Tim’s sly look made Tony want to jump him and do indecent things to him, but he wasn’t sure of how things were done with another guy so he restrained himself. Barely. “I guess that isn’t a problem now, huh.”
Tony grinned, and then winced. “Can we save any more of this delightful talk about our relationship until after we’ve showered? Because this is seriously gross,” he declared, standing up and stretching, and trying not to smile smugly as he saw Tim’s eyes, filled with lust, roam over his naked body. Thank god for all that gym time he put in. He’d never had much shame when it came to being naked with someone he’d just had sex with, but it never hurt to look good and show it off once in a while.
Tim nodded. “You can have the first shower, if you want.”
Tony blinked, trying to hide his disappointment. “Oh. I’d just thought that maybe we could, you know, shower together? It would be totally economical, after all - save water, save the planet, and all that jazz.”
Tim laughed, a purely delighted sound that matched the expression on his face, and Tony’s chest went tight at the sight. “You know, Tony, you have some brilliant ideas.”
“C’mon, Probie, you’ve only just figured that out?” Tony asked, holding out a hand to pull Tim up off the bed - the best thing about this move being that, as soon as he was standing, Tony could pull him right in close and god, the feel of all that skin against his almost made his brain explode. He slid his hands around Tim’s back, then down to cup his ass as he leaned in for a kiss. He felt Tim’s mouth open under his as the kiss deepened, and started squeezing McGee’s ass, pulling his cheeks apart and dragging one finger down his crack to tease at his hole. Tim broke away from the kiss with a gasp.
“Go, or we’ll never get a shower. I’ll meet you in there.”
Tony pouted a little, but did as he was told since he was only just remembering the fact that Tim had been shot only a few hours ago and was supposed to be taking it easy. He switched on the shower and got it to a good temperature, and was about to call on Tim to see what was taking him so long when he felt arms snake around his waist and kisses being pressed on his shoulder. He leaned back, amazed by the feeling of being in this position, supported by someone who was the same height as him. It felt weird, sure, but there wasn’t really anything about this situation that didn’t. Tim’s hard cock rubbing between his ass cheeks was possibly the weirdest thing at this moment, Tony mused, but then Tim’s hand closed over his cock and he could only gasp.
Then Tim was gone, and Tony made a noise which was not a whimper at the loss of pressure. But Tim was in the shower, looking at him with an expression which promised more pressure in different ways, and Tony stepped in to join him.
They kissed languidly under the spray for a while, hands roaming while they learned each other’s bodies. The only male body Tony had known like this was his own and, although it felt as though his brain was belaboring the point, it was not going to stop being strange that quickly. He laughed and said as much to Tim.
“This is so strange,” he managed between kisses.
“Hmm?”
“You’re totally not a girl.”
Tim drew back, looking confused. “Um, yeah, I pretty much thought we’d established that.”
“Yeah, I know, but…” Tony couldn’t think of a way to explain himself which wouldn’t either cause Tim to laugh at him or throw him out. He decided to go for the truth. “It’s just all so different.” Tim looked at him questioningly, and he squirmed a little. There was a sudden look of comprehension on Tim’s face, and Tony half expected Tim to get mad. Instead, Tim threw back his head and laughed. Tony stared at him in amazement.
“You’re getting confused because, what, you’ve only just figured out that boys and girls are different underneath their clothes?” Tim asked grinning, and Tony pouted.
“Oh, come on, it’s not funny! It’s…I’m…” He scowled. “I feel like a fucking virgin. I didn’t even feel like that when I was a virgin, and I haven’t been one of those since I was fifteen.”
“Hey.” He looked up and saw Tim smiling at him; gently, but with an edge that made his cock twitch. “Don’t worry, Tony. I get that this is all new to you, and weird, and that you’re gonna probably freak out about it at some point. And if you want some time to adjust later, I’m not going to stop you.” He moved forward, wrapping his arms around Tony’s waist and pulling him in close. “But right now,” he continued, leaning forward and nipping Tony’s lip, soothing the small hurt with his tongue, “I want you to fuck me again.”
Tony groaned, pushing Tim up against the wall of the shower and kissing him hard, tongues and teeth clashing. “Where’s…the…god…condoms…lube…” he managed.
“What do you think took me so long when I sent you through first?” Tim asked, smiling against his mouth, and Tony groaned as he felt Tim rolling a condom over his cock. He opened his eyes in time to see Tim lubing up his fingers and reaching back, but Tony caught his hand.
“Wait…Can I…?” Tim’s eyes went wide and he nodded, swallowing. He turned around, bracing himself against the wall with his forearms, and Tony spread the lube over his fingers. He teased Tim’s entrance for a few moments, cataloguing every whimper and sigh, before tentatively pushing in a finger. Tim let out a high-pitched noise and Tony suppressed a laugh, pushing his finger in further. He could feel Tim’s muscles squeezing his finger, thought about how they had squeezed his cock only a few hours before, and groaned into Tim’s shoulder.
“M-more, Tony; I can take more.”
Tony bit his lip and drew his finger out, before slowly pushing in two together. Tim moaned, and pushed back, fucking himself on Tony’s fingers. Tony looked down and saw Tim’s hole, pink and shiny, stretched around his fingers and nearly lost it there and then. He tugged his balls down with his free hand to stop himself from coming, and leaned forward, muttering in Tim’s ear. “God, need to fuck you, can I?”
“God, yes,” Tim panted. “Don’t need any more prep, just fuck me, fuck, Tony, fuck me.”
Tony pulled his fingers out of Tim’s ass and spread the lube over his cock. After throwing the tube away - they later discovered that it had landed perfectly in the toothpaste holder, a shot even Tony couldn’t have got if he’d tried - he held himself steady and pressed his cock at Tim’s entrance.
“Yeah?” he asked, unable to manage any more complicated speech.
“Yeah,” Tim answered, and Tony wrapped his arm around Tim’s waist before pushing in slowly. He’d had anal sex with girls before, thank god, so he knew something at least, especially that he had to go slow until Tim adjusted. But Tim was already pushing back against Tony, making noises that he would never have imagined Tim could make, even in his wildest fantasies. He dragged Tim’s head back for a kiss, using his other hand to reach round and begin to stroke Tim’s cock, teasing; much like he would have done to himself - bringing his hand up to scratch over a nipple, then down to play with Tim’s balls, relishing the whimper that caused.
It felt as though it could go on forever, standing under the spray and breathing into each others’ mouths. But soon the need to come was too pressing - not to mention that the shower was running out of hot water - and Tony began to thrust harder, stroking faster, until Tim was throwing his head back and crying out, and Tony was biting into Tim’s shoulder and thrusting one last time, coming so hard his vision grayed out.
They stood kissing lazily for a while, until the water became too cold to bear; then they both washed quickly and stepped out of the shower, drying off as quickly as they could. After they wandered back through into the bedroom, Tony looked at the clock and sighed.
“What?” Tim asked, stretching his arms over his head lazily. Tony’s brain shorted at the sight and it took him a moment to re-gather his thoughts.
“Um, it’s getting late.” He tried to keep any hopefulness out of his voice; it wasn’t fair to expect anything. Anyway, the logistics of it wouldn’t work; he never gave Tim a lift into work, although he could probably use the fact he’d been shot as an excuse; tell Gibbs that he slept on Tim’s sofa to make sure that he wasn’t injured, but maybe Tim didn’t want him to stay and ohgod, what if he’d done something wrong and….
“Uh, Tony?” Tony snapped out of his panicked thoughts and looked at Tim questioningly. “Do you, uh…” Tim blushed. “Did you maybe want to stay here? Tonight?”
Tony reached out and grabbed hold of Tim’s arm, pulling him in. He kissed him slowly, kisses for the sake of kisses. There was no way it was going anywhere yet; Tony wasn’t that young any more, and his recovery time wasn’t what it used to be. But Tony liked kissing, so he was content to do this forever, before he remembered that Tim had asked him a question. He pulled away from Tim’s lips long enough to say, “That’s a yes, by the way, Probie,” before diving back in. They fell on the bed, laughing, crawling up the bed and settling under the covers; Tim’s back to Tony’s front and Tony’s arm draped over Tim’s body. He pressed a last kiss to Tim’s shoulder and, as he fell asleep, he felt Tim’s fingers entwine with his.
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Link to master post | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Epilogue