Day
I dreamed of him last night for the third time. He was back, and he was so nice. He apologized for having to leave, and asked me if I wanted to go for a drive with him (he wanted me to drive of course). He told me it was okay that I wasn't as good of a person as he wanted me to be, told me it wasn't my fault, and just made me feel guiltier.
I miss him so much. I think I keep trying to replace him, but there isn't any one to fill his spot.
We went to the Lakeland museum the day after the night I dropped acid. There was a Dali exhibit, but then we went upstairs and there was an exhibit of all these late 19th century Japanese woodcuts by this one particular artist. I wasn't feeling that great, I was exhausted and physically drained, and he went around the room and narrated all these Japanese woodcuts in these hilarious voices and made everything so witty and clever, the way he did, and it made me so happy. It didn't matter that things weren't great between us, because he knew when to avoid us and just make things okay. It may have been infrequent, but when I was happy around him I was really really happy.
I'll never have that again. He really loved me, and I destroyed him. I'm so sorry.
I miss him so much. I think I keep trying to replace him, but there isn't any one to fill his spot.
We went to the Lakeland museum the day after the night I dropped acid. There was a Dali exhibit, but then we went upstairs and there was an exhibit of all these late 19th century Japanese woodcuts by this one particular artist. I wasn't feeling that great, I was exhausted and physically drained, and he went around the room and narrated all these Japanese woodcuts in these hilarious voices and made everything so witty and clever, the way he did, and it made me so happy. It didn't matter that things weren't great between us, because he knew when to avoid us and just make things okay. It may have been infrequent, but when I was happy around him I was really really happy.
I'll never have that again. He really loved me, and I destroyed him. I'm so sorry.