Title goes here.
Main Entry: de·pres·sion
Pronunciation: di-'pre-sh&n, dE-
Function: noun
1 a : the angular distance of a celestial object below the horizon b : the size of an angle of depression
2 : an act of depressing or a state of being depressed : as a : a pressing down : LOWERING b (1) : a state of feeling sad : DEJECTION (2) : a psychoneurotic or psychotic disorder marked especially by sadness, inactivity, difficulty in thinking and concentration, a significant increase or decrease in appetite and time spent sleeping, feelings of dejection and hopelessness, and sometimes suicidal tendencies c (1) : a reduction in activity, amount, quality, or force (2) : a lowering of vitality or functional activity
3 : a depressed place or part : HOLLOW
4 : LOW 1b
5 : a period of low general economic activity marked especially by rising levels of unemployment
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I have had several bouts with depression in my life, it's nothing new, and it will happen again, most likely. It sucks when I have to deal with it, and right now I have no way to deal with it professionally because I'm on this mountain with no way to get anywhere, and no money to do anything even if I could. One thing I refuse to do is take anti-depressants. I hated those things when I was on them. I never judge anyone for taking meds if they help them, they're just not for me.
The funny thing is while I was in Flint I had a car and an apartment...I could go to the store when I wated to, or out to a movie. I actually went to get my hair done regularly. I felt pretty good about myself, and I had a great gym that I belonged to. So. California is gorgeous, but I feel rather like the bird in the guilded cage. I don't go anywhere, or really do anything. I have bought one book, and maybe six magaizines in the time that I've been here (a year and a half), and one magazine, and the book were bought with the gift card I got from my uncle for Christmas. I've been to one concert, and been to an amusement park once. I look bad, and feel bad for the way I look. I'm having anxiety more than I ever have in my life, and when I get anxiety attacks I eat, so you know what happens then. I need so much stuff, but i don't feel like I should ask for anything. Hell, I feel guilty for being an athmatic and costing money for meds. I cry too easily, and it's getting to the point where my apathy is taking over. I am even starting to not want to see people, and that's bad. I am a social person for the most part...ah well, I know things will get better, it's just that when you're in a dark room it's hard to find the door to get out, sometimes.
This isn't a please come pity me and tell me how great I am entry, it's just me venting.
Razors pain you
Rivers are damp
Acids stain you
Drugs cause cramp
Guns aren't lawful
Nooses give
Gas smells awful
You might as well live- Dorothy Parker
Pronunciation: di-'pre-sh&n, dE-
Function: noun
1 a : the angular distance of a celestial object below the horizon b : the size of an angle of depression
2 : an act of depressing or a state of being depressed : as a : a pressing down : LOWERING b (1) : a state of feeling sad : DEJECTION (2) : a psychoneurotic or psychotic disorder marked especially by sadness, inactivity, difficulty in thinking and concentration, a significant increase or decrease in appetite and time spent sleeping, feelings of dejection and hopelessness, and sometimes suicidal tendencies c (1) : a reduction in activity, amount, quality, or force (2) : a lowering of vitality or functional activity
3 : a depressed place or part : HOLLOW
4 : LOW 1b
5 : a period of low general economic activity marked especially by rising levels of unemployment
________________________________________
I have had several bouts with depression in my life, it's nothing new, and it will happen again, most likely. It sucks when I have to deal with it, and right now I have no way to deal with it professionally because I'm on this mountain with no way to get anywhere, and no money to do anything even if I could. One thing I refuse to do is take anti-depressants. I hated those things when I was on them. I never judge anyone for taking meds if they help them, they're just not for me.
The funny thing is while I was in Flint I had a car and an apartment...I could go to the store when I wated to, or out to a movie. I actually went to get my hair done regularly. I felt pretty good about myself, and I had a great gym that I belonged to. So. California is gorgeous, but I feel rather like the bird in the guilded cage. I don't go anywhere, or really do anything. I have bought one book, and maybe six magaizines in the time that I've been here (a year and a half), and one magazine, and the book were bought with the gift card I got from my uncle for Christmas. I've been to one concert, and been to an amusement park once. I look bad, and feel bad for the way I look. I'm having anxiety more than I ever have in my life, and when I get anxiety attacks I eat, so you know what happens then. I need so much stuff, but i don't feel like I should ask for anything. Hell, I feel guilty for being an athmatic and costing money for meds. I cry too easily, and it's getting to the point where my apathy is taking over. I am even starting to not want to see people, and that's bad. I am a social person for the most part...ah well, I know things will get better, it's just that when you're in a dark room it's hard to find the door to get out, sometimes.
This isn't a please come pity me and tell me how great I am entry, it's just me venting.
Razors pain you
Rivers are damp
Acids stain you
Drugs cause cramp
Guns aren't lawful
Nooses give
Gas smells awful
You might as well live- Dorothy Parker