for "mini_nanowrimo" hence no friends lock 25
i wrote this for myself.
Everything is impossible, she thinks, sinking face first into her pillow. The comforter that she throws over herself smells like orchid blossoms and is still warm from the dryer. Everything is impossible. Her new mantra. It beats ‘suck it up, princess’ anyway. Lets her off the hook for a lot of things too. No discipline, no control. She’s decided that the universe has the game rigged, the scales tipped to an unfair advantage and everything is impossible. She’s not going to get out of bed anymore. She’s not going to bother with the show or feeding herself. Nothing feels good because there is no good left in the world. She doesn’t worry about being alone, no one likes her when she’s like this anyway. She can’t really blame them. She doesn’t like herself either.
She sleeps.
She awakes to the sound of knocking. She ignores it. It’s too easy. Then there is the sound of pounding. Tears threaten so she cacoons herself under the blankets, buried deep. The sound muffles and stops. She signs, relieved. She feels like she just got away with something.
There is a noise in her front hallway. A muted thump and footsteps. Her bedroom door creaks opens and her heart has frozen.
“I should have known that you’d leave the front door unlocked. Even in this neighbourhood,” he says the words softly and with a lighthearted tone. He is impossibly tall and towers over the bed from where she has not moved a muscle. She is doing a poor job of willing him away. He stands there, surveying her and the situation. It’s worse than he thought but not as bad as it has the potential to be. There is one simple way to improve things. He reaches down and places a large hand on the lump that is her body under the blankets. He wiggles his fingers back and fourth. She has to stifle a giggle into the palm of her hand. She’s very ticklish.
“Hear that,” he says.
“Mumph!” she replies.
“Yeah, yeah. You know the drill. You have two seconds to surface or I will pull you out of there myself.” She temps fate and ignores him. He counts aloud and she braces herself, fingers gripped onto the edge of her mattress. The pillows are plucked away and the light floods in. That bastard opened my blinds! The comforter is next. He folds it and drops it on the end of her bed. He signs, watching her lifeless body. His good humour is waning.
“Stop being stubborn,” he says in a low tone that she knows is not a request. She lets go of the bed and sits up cross-legged. She squints at him from being unaccustomed to the light and her lack of glasses. She waits. He seats himself down on her desk chair. He looks ridiculous being so large on a tiny chair. He has to adjust the height on it so his legs won’t be cramped. He takes up most of the free apace in her small room.
“Are you alright?” he asks, his ton soft and gentle again. She shrugs, afraid that he’ll be angry if she tells that truth and says no. “I’m not mad at you,” he answers, reading her mind.
“Okay,” she whispers. “Good,” she adds thinking he needs more.
“Do you want to tell me what happened? Tell me what’s happening?” She shrugs again but can tell she’s pushed him as far as he can be pushed. He’s pretty good at playing the straight man but he also like to get things done. She’s also fairly sure that despite her being the way she is, crazy and emotional, he never really knows what to do with her.
“I don’t want to talk about it,” she hopes it doesn’t sound too petulant. She doesn’t mean for it to be. He nods and she smiles. He always knows. He would, he’s barely mortal.
“Want me to start then? I have some things to say.”
“Shocking!” But she knows that he knows she’s teasing. She tips her head to listen to what’s coming next. He rarely talks so it should be good.
“You want things to change and think the world has conspired against you. You have to go out there and make it change. It’s not going to come and drop in your lap. You have to keep moving forward and do what you have the ability to do to move it along. I’ve seen you do simple and amazing feats. It can be done but you’re the one pulling the strings here. Okay. That’s all I have to say.”
“I like that one. That speech. It’s like a greatest hits of the other ones you’ve given.” She nods approvingly.
“You’re safe here. Things aren’t so bad. They won’t always be like this. This won’t last.”
“Thank you, Shadow. Thanks for coming.”
“Let’s get some food. You can tell me about it.”
“Yeah, let’s go out.”
new plans for writing: i not only want to finish the prompt table but i also want to bring my word count to 15000. i'm a little over 2000 words shy of that so i think it's doable.
5 days left. it amazes me how much technical stuff i learn every year when i do this. and how much stuff i learn about myself. this year, i may not have written stuff that was as good as i liked last year but i do better on learning when to write and how much i can do. i think being fuelled by amazing amounts of coffee helps.